Jennifer Moore
by mary621
Summary: After Jessica dies Sam and Dean are left with her teenage sister. They teach her about the supernatural and she tries to balance learning to hunt with being a normal teenager.
1. Spirit in the Night

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural:( But I do own Jenny!

This is my first story so if you have any tips please

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**Spirit in the Night**

My name is Jennifer Elizabeth Moore, but everyone calls me Jenny. I am fifteen years old and when I was thirteen years old my parents were killed in a car accident. Soon after, I moved in with my sister Jessica and her boyfriend Sam Winchester, who were named my guardians.

After getting over my initial depression, which lasted about 2 months and resulted in my weekly trips to the therapist, we started to become a family. However instead of having a mom and dad I had a sister and…well…I guess Sam became a big brother to me. He is always there for me and I know that he loves me. He makes sure I get good grades and that I stay out of trouble. We are happy. Not 7th heaven happy (but who really is…or wants to be), but we are happy enough.

Then Sam's brother Dean shows up to take Sam away on a trip. I don't really know what it is about, by the time I get out of my bed to see what the noise is, Sam already left and Jessica won't tell me why.

"It is Sam's business, not yours." Jessica tells me after Sam leaves.

"Well he woke me up at 4 o'clock in the frickin' morning. I would say that makes it my business." I sarcastically remark, knowing well that Jess isn't gonna tell me a god darn thing.

"Well it's not my place to say, you can ask Sam when he comes back." She says in a soft but serious voice. "Until then get your butt back to sleep girly." As she gives me a smack on the butt and walks off to her bedroom giggling.

I laugh at my sister. How she could be so sensitive one minute and completely silly the next, but I guess we are alike in that way.

* * *

The next couple days were normal. Jessica went to all of her classes. And I went to all of mine at the public high school I was enrolled in.

We had a three day weekend so my best friend Katie and I decided to have a sleepover on Sunday.

"You got all your stuff" Jess asks.

"Well lets see. The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off , and season one of the Office." I say pointing at each one individually. "Yep. I got everything for a perfect John Hughes movie night." I smile.

"That great, but I was talking about clothes, smartass…wait…The Office isn't a John Hughes movie…it isn't even a movie."

"Yeah but the Office is _amazinggg _so it doesn't matter." I say with a goofy grin as I button up a pink sweater over my white tee and jeans.

"Fair enough" she laughs. "Nice sweater" she says sarcastically

"Sorry, all of mine are dirty." I put on an exaggerated pout.

"Just don't spill anything on it." she warns. "So you sure you got everything you need?" She double checks.

"Yep!" I nod. "I got my clothes, toothbrush, face wash, ipod, laptop, and _of course _movies! I assure her with a smile.

I zip up my bag, put it around my shoulder, and started towards the door. "Are you sure you don't want a ride?" Jess asks.

"I'm sure. It's just a few blocks over." I smirk at her protectiveness. Knowing how worried she gets about me. "Bye Sis."

"Bye girly, have fun" as she gives me a hug.

"I will, tell Sam I want to know all about what happened when I get back tomorrow".

"Sure thing" she grins.

* * *

When I got to Katie's house we instantly changed into pajamas, broke out the candy and started watching the office.

"Oh my god!" I whine. "I can't believe Pam has not dumped Roy for Jim yet."

"I know!" Katie agrees "If I had a guy like Jim that loved me I would dump that asshole and totally hookup with Jim." I nod my head in agreement totally loving the idea.

We had finished watching the whole season, devoured a whole bowl of our own concoction of captain crunch cereal, chocolate chips, and peanut butter, which sounded like a brilliant idea at the time but we soon came to regret it. We were now on our third John Hughes movie and it was 2 o'clock in the morning. Our stomach's ached slightly but that didn't stop us from dancing to "Twist and Shout" during our favorite part of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. We were dancing and singing as loud as we could with out waking up her parents. But in the end it didn't matter because they were woken up by the telephone ringing.

We look at each other both wondering who would call at this time at night… or morning rather. But our questions were soon answered.

"Your Sister." Mrs. Wilson says when she enters Katie's room. "There was a fire"

Before she could take a breath I was running around Katie's room trying to get my things together. I ran out of the house quickly without saying goodbye to Katie and with no shoes on. My mind was blank and all that mattered was getting to my home. Mrs. Wilson follows helping me get into her car. It is all fuzzy, but the moment I see the apartment it is like a bucket of cold water to my face.

There it is, my home gone. Everything gone. All of the pictures and belongings of my parents, gone.

My body is tired, I use all of my strength to open the car door and walk as far as I was allowed with the caution tape. I can't breathe. Tears are building up but I can't release them. I stood there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only seconds.

I look around through the flashing red lights and I see him. He is standing next to, who I assume is his brother, who appears to be comforting him by his car. I wait to see if he will notice me, not having the strength to call his name. It takes only seconds for him to place me.

We look at each other and without speaking I ask him the question I need to ask with a desperate look. Then with just one expression, that looks like sadness mixed with sorrow he answered my question. I feel my knees starting to turn to jello and my tears build up so strongly that I couldn't keep them down anymore.

I let out all of my built up anger with a scream of sorrow as I take off running to the only person I have left. Tears are spilling down my face and I can barely hold myself up. When I reached him he opens his arms which I collapse into. He holds me as my body heaves with sobs. "No. No! Sam Please! Why?" I repeat over and over again as he tries to sooth my cries and his own.

Dean looks on looking sorry for this girl he has never met but he also looks very uncomfortable and out of place like he doesn't know if he should do something or just sit their.

I finally back up and look at Sam. His eyes are full of sorrow for his loose and pity for mine, which I can tell he is trying to cover up. I look at him letting the reality of everything sink in. I backed up and watched all of the chaos going on around me.

As tonight soaks into my mind, my body starts to get sick. I can feel the cereal making a return and dash behind the car to an area of trees and empty my stomach.

After I finish I fall to my knees and cradle my head in my hands. Still tasting the mix of stomach bile and salty tears, I feel Sam wrap his arms around me and I soon give into the comfort of his warmth. I cry and cry until I fall asleep and when I wake up I will be in a completely different world with the Winchester brothers.

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Again I would really appriciate any feedback or criticism(constructive please!)


	2. Open Your Eyes

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural. But I do own Jenny.

Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate all of your advice and opinions, please keep them coming!

**Open Your Eyes**

"Hey, what did ya find?"

"Nothin. I'm Telling you man, this thing is long gone." Dean says sounding defeated.

Sam sighed sadly, again losing hope that he would find the murderer of his mother and girlfriend.

"Sorry Sammy" he takes a seat across from Sam on is bed.

"You tried man" Sam says, but you can still here the disappointment.

"So did the kid make an appearance yet?" Dean asks with a mixture of sarcasm and worry.

"No not yet. Maybe I should bring her something to eat?" he sounded desperate, more like he just wanted an excuse to talk to her.

"Sammy" Dean spoke sadly "she isn't gonna come out for you. She's gotta to do it on her own."

Sam nods knowingly "I just want to help her, Dean. I mean, I have seen her depressed and I'm just worried that if she goes back to that place she won't make it out." He focuses on his hands, as he sits across from dean on his bed.

"Sammy she's just lost her sister. Of course she's gonna be pretty messed up for a while, but she'll get through it."

Sam disagrees "You weren't there Dean, you don't know what happens when she gets depressed"

Dean scoffs "What'd she do? Sammy, kids lose their families everyday. It sucks, she'll lock her self in her room for a week, listen to crappy music, but she'll get over it. In the mean time we have to go to find Dad."

"I'm not leaving her here. I'm all she has right now." Sam says strongly.

Dean looks down and sighs "Okay, we'll stay for a little while, but we _have _to find dad Sammy."

Sam shakes his head "No!" he says firmly but his tone soon softens "I am the only person left for her. If I leave her she gets shipped off to foster care. I can't do that to her. I can't do that to Jess."

Dean smiles like he has just figured out a puzzle. "So that's what this is about. You want to stay so bad because you think that in some weird freaky way you'd be betraying Jess."

"No Dean, I mean of course that is part of it, but I want to stay because that girl in there" he points to the door connecting their two rooms "means a lot to me. She is like my little sister. And I never want to do anything to hurt her." After he finishes speaking he wipes away a single tear that has fallen down his face.

Dean smiles understandingly, realizing just how much he cares for her. He knew what it was like to want to protect someone like that. That is how he felt about Sammy his whole life.

"I understand Sam…I really do." He says sincerely, which causes Sam to look up surprised. "But I still need to find Dad. With or without you."

"I know." Sam nods sadly.

"Are you sure you couldn't bring her-"

"Don't even finish that sentence Dean" Sam stood up walking to the kitchen area.

"Just thought it was worth a try" Dean laughs "I'm gonna miss you Sammy" as he stands up too and walks over to Sam.

"Your not gonna hug me are you?" Sam says with fake disgust.

"Bitch"

"Jerk"

They shared a quiet laugh and a look confirming that they both would miss each other without having to get into the "chick flick" emotions of saying it.

* * *

I read books and watched movies, but mostly I slept. I thought about going to clubs at night and try to drink my sorrows away, but that left the chance that I would run in to Sam or Dean on my way out or in the motel. I had to keep busy at all times. I couldn't be left alone with my thoughts. They would eat me up inside and I might go back to my old ways. I couldn't. I have already come so far.

I am halfway through reading _The Poisonwood Bible _when I hear a knock at my door. I sigh and try to ignore it. Just hearing his voice makes me think of her, I can't look at him. I would immediately think of how my "perfect family" is now gone.

"Jenny, I made some lunch. Are you hungry?"

I grab my ipod, put the headphones in my ears and turn the volume up all the way. I am sitting with my back resting on the headboard with my arms wrapped around my knees which are at my chin. I was rocking back and forth and humming to the music, trying to block out Sam's words.

Soon I am wishing that I also blocked out the music. But it's too late. The music is seeping into my brain as the emotions take over me. Tears fall down my eyes and I walk to the door connecting mine and Sam's room. I place one hand on the door trying to see if I can sense Sam there, like a sign that I am not alone.

_All this feels strange and untrue_

_And I won't waste a minute without you_

_My bones ache, my skin feels cold_

_And I'm getting so tired and so old_

I feel nothing…just my hand on a door waiting for a sign that will never come. I feel alone. My parents are gone, and now so is my sister. My hands start to fidget and I don't think twice about my next move. I let the silent tears fall down my face as I turn and make my way towards the bathroom. As I shut the door I go into my makeup bag and take out the one thing I am looking for.

_The anger swells in my guts_

_And I won't feel these slices and cuts_

_I want so much to open your eyes_

'_Cos I need you to look into mine_

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The song is Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol

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	3. Don't Forget Sister

Disclaimer: I own nothing…but Jenny!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who have read and reviewed my story. This is the first time I have written anything and I really enjoy it, but I was so nervous about posting it. I was so afraid that it wasn't good but your reviews really mean a lot to me and brighten my day!(That probaby sounds wicked cheesy. lol.) Thank you so much!

**Don't Forget Sister**

I wake up at 5 cus I can't sleep. I know that in three hours I will be saying goodbye to my sister forever. I decide to walk down the street to the gas station and get a pack of cigarettes. I started smoking over a year ago when I stopped cutting myself to help with the stress and I stopped smoking when Jessica caught me six months ago on the porch. But that doesn't matter now, it's not like she can yell at me, right? I throw on my big Stanford sweatshirt to cover my arms and look out the peephole of my door to make sure Sam wasn't out there. I know how early he likes to wake up.

As I walk back from the gas station and the motel is in my sight I light a cigarette and slowly breathe in the smoke. I tilt my head back enjoying the feeling of calmness that is washing over me. As I lower my head I see a maple tree outside the motel that looks just like the one Jess and I had growing up. Of course ours had a tire swig hanging of one of the branches. I walk to the tree and lie down on the ground underneath it, looking up at the beautiful red leaves.

"Hey" I hear and immediately jump up frightened from the sudden noise to see someone standing over me.

There he is, Dean, the guy who is the actual brother of the guy that I think of as mine. I look at him without speaking just staring and waiting to see what he wants. "You know smoking is bad for you." He says and I snort at his poor excuse for a conversation starter. "Is that really what you came out here to tell me?" I ask with attitude just wanting to get away from him and into the comfort of my quiet room.

"No" He sits down on a bench across from me. "I came to talk to you about Sammy. He needs you."

I look down at the maple leaf that I have in my hands and try to ignore the feeling of guilt that forms in the pit of my stomach. "Sam's a big boy. He doesn't need me." I stand up and start to walk away. I know that I sound selfish but I didn't care. My sister was dead and that was all that I could think of.

"Really, cus the way I see it Sam should be dealing with the fact that his girlfriend just died and instead he's worrying about you." He says with a harshness that makes me stop in my tracks and look at my feet. I turn around and look at him with absolutely no emotion what so ever.

"If you'll excuse me I have to go get ready for my sister's funeral" I turn and walk away just wanting to get into the quiet of my own room where I don't feel judged or insecure.

* * *

I look thru the clothes that Sam had bought for me yesterday and left on my doorstep after I refused to open the door. There is a simple black dress that I figure he bought especially for today. That sounds like Sam, the thoughtfulness. It is a very simple short sleeved v-neck dress. I put it on and look in the mirror. I look at the dress but soon take notice to the fresh scars that are visible on my arms. I look through the bag for a sweater but I can only find big baggy sweatshirts.

I look around my room and see the bag from my sleepover. Sticking out from the bag is the pink sweater, _her _pink sweater. I walk over to the bag and take the sweater and put my arms through it. Once it is on I take a part of the sweater in my hands hold it close to my nose and take in the smell of it. It smells like Jess, her Chanel perfume. I feel a tear make its way down my cheek which sets off an alarm in my head. I immediately stop what I am doing and go for my shoes, pretending that I wasn't still thinking about her. After my shoes were on I looked at the clock and knew we had to leave soon.

I look at the door connecting our two rooms and know that I have to face him, so I decided to do it head on. With my fist raised to the door I build up the courage to knock.

I take a deep breath and knock loudly three times.

I hear a shuffle and the door is opened by Sam in a suit. He looks at me surprised. He probably thought that they were going to have to pry my door of its hinges to go today. If I had my way the probably would have. But today isn't about me it is about Jessica.

"Hey Jenny" He says kindly while letting me in "you look really nice."

I look down shyly and give a quiet "thanks" as I look back up I see all eyes on me, awaiting my next move. "So are we ready to leave" I ask adding a small uneasy smile hoping that it would ease their obvious worries about me.

"Yea, lets go." Sam says putting on his jacket and leading the way out the door.

* * *

The ride was quiet. Well unless you count Dean's music baring through the speakers. As we pull up to the cemetery I took a deep breath. I open the car door and got out just standing and staring at Jessica's coffin which I could see form where I was standing.

I must have been standing there for a while because I felt Sam but his hand through mine and whisper in my ear "We'll do this together" I look up at him and give him a smile of appreciation. He nods then we walk hand in hand to the service with Dean next to us.

There were a lot of people there. There were friends, classmates and teachers. I only recognized a handful of them.

I didn't cry through the whole service. But when I had to leave it sunk in that this is it, Jess is gone.

Everybody had already left but Sam, Dean, and I still stood there. I unraveled my hand from Sam's and walked up to the casket. I place my hand to the smooth wood as a single tear falls down my cheek. My knees start to go week and I fall next to the casket with my hand still on it. "I'm sorry Jess." I whisper as I begin to sob softly "I love you so much" I hiccup.

I hear Sam come up behind me and place his hand on my shoulder. "I should've been home that night" I say without removing my eyes from the casket.

"This is not your fault Jen." Sam says sadly.

I ignore him as I stand up "I want to go back to the motel." I say without forcefully as I stand up and head towards the car wiping away my tears.

Sam runs after me, grabs my hand and spins me around taking hold of my arms "No Jenny!" He yells forcefully "This is not your fault, you couldn't have done anything." as he gently shakes me.

Tears are now pouring down my face as I yell "I could have been there" I yank my arms away from him. But he grabs my arm again.

"What if you were there, you could've been killed too."

Dean decides to chime in on Team Sam "He's right Jenny, if you were there we'd be at your funeral now too."

I look down, wipe away my tears and try to compose myself. I look at my shoes and reply "I know."

I look up and see Sam and Dean looking shocked, Sam more so than Dean.

"You don't mean that." Sam says with worry in his eyes.

"I don't?" I question darkly before I turn around and walk back to the car.

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Please Review!


	4. She's Gonna Break Soon

Disclaimer: I own nothing…but Jenny!

Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews and thank you to VannessaR and Sammyluvr83 for adding Jennifer Moore to their favorite stories. You guys are awesome! I hope you like the new chapter!

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**She's Gonna Break Soon**

"You lied to her?" Dean smirks

"What was I supposed to do, you heard her today. I'm worried about her. I want to keep an eye on her" his face etched with concern.

Deans look turns more understanding "Yeah, I know Sammy." His sincerity only lasts for a few seconds and he becomes uncomfortable with the seriousness. "She's not taken my bed."

* * *

I lay my bag on the couch and decided to watch TV. Dean is lying on one bed and Sam on the other so I sit next to Sam. Sam looks at me. "How are you doing?" He asks not in the "whatsup" kind of way, but in the "are you gonna off yourself?" kind of way.

I can't tell him how I really feel. I hate letting people see my emotions. It makes me feel so naked. I know that if I want him to leave me alone I have to pretend to be alright so I smile "Yeah, I'm fine".

They are watching some stupid action movie. I realize that it is Thursday and a little past 9.

"Can I have the remote?" I look at Dean. He looks at me, then shrugs and hands me the remote. "Thanks" I add wrapped with a smile.

"What are we watching?" Sam asks.

"You'll see" I say.

I put the TV to the right channel "I should've known" he laughs.

"What is this?" Dean asks completely out of the loop.

"You've never seen the Office?" I'm in pure shock. He shakes his head. "Oh My God! It's only the best show on television." I

Dean laughs "Well I'm sorry I don't have time for TV shows. I'm busy with work."

"What do you do?" I ask thinking that it was a harmless question. Dean gave Sam a look like he didn't know what to say. "Uhhh…I.. I'm…a detective." He says the last part with a smile, like it will convince me that he is telling the truth. Yeah right.

"Uh huh." I say suspiciously as I get up off the bed. "Where are you going?" Sam sounds curious.

"I'm taking a shower." I laugh at his over protectiveness. "Is that okay with you?" I say sarcastically.

He laughs. "Shut up"

"Hey don't use all the hot water!" Dean shouts

* * *

"Wow, she almost seemed normal" Dean says shocked. He turns to Sam "Are you buyin' it?"

Sam shook his head "Not for a second" his voice soft.

* * *

I shut the bathroom door, lean against it and let out a deep breath. I shake off my emotions quickly and turn on the shower. When the heat is to my liking I discard my clothes and step in. As I let the water wash off my day I let my real emotions seep through, the ones that I was hiding from Sam. I start to cry and I am soon filled with anger. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. My hands start to fidget and I get nervous. I try to hold them still. They won't stay still. Soon I don't want them to. I want to relax. I want to feel the release.

I grab the razor out of my makeup bag. I don't think twice before I press it do my wrist and forcefully glide it across my skin. I see the blood flowing and smiles as I feel the release. I do it a couple more times before I stop and get out of the shower.

I dry off, put band aids on the cuts that haven't stopped bleeding, and put on a pair of white pajama shorts and a long sleeved navy blue shirt. I look in the mirror and prepare myself for stepping into the room.

When I open the door I see Sam and Dean have fallen asleep on their beds and realize that I have been in the shower for much longer than I thought. I stand there awkwardly for a second. I look around and wonder if I should sleep on the couch. I know Sam won't mind if I sleep on his bed, and after I get close to the awful smelling couch I decide that the bed is the right choice. I pull back the covers and carefully slide into the bed trying not to wake Sam. I close my eyes and soon fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up to the smell of bacon. I look over to the kitchen area and see Sam and Dean eating breakfast. I put on a fake smile and get up.

"That smells amazing" I exclaim hungrily.

"Thanks" Dean says. "I made an early morning grocery run." He makes me a plate with pancakes, bacon, and home fries.

"Yumm" I say as he hands me the plate. I take a big bite of pancakes. "This tastes so good." I say with a smile. Sam gives me a questioning look.

"What?" I ask.

He shakes his head tying to ignore whatever he was thinking "Nothing."

"Hey" Dean directs to Sam "Are we going to go do those…errands?" Sam looks confused so Dean gives him strong look. "Oh yeah" Sam says "listen Jen, Dean and I have to go take care of some…business." I look at Dean who is nodding his head.

I know their is something they are not telling me, but decide not to question it "Okay. Is everything alright?" I ask. "Yeah, everything's fine" Sam assures me "nothing to worry about."

"Okay" I say once again with a big fake smile. "You guys can head out. I'll clean up the dishes."

"No, we got it." Sam opposed.

"I mean it." I said getting up and picking up their dishes. "Now Go." I threw a dish towel at them grinning.

"Fine, We'll go." Dean says having no problem with not having to clean up. Sam follows Dean towards the door but turns around and looks at me uneasy "You okay Jenny?"

"Yea, I'm fine." I try to sound genuine. This must have worked cus he accepted the answer.

"Bye Guys"

"Bye"

The door shuts and I drop the plates on the counter. I slowly unscrew the smile form my face and take a deep breath. I let it out. I wipe off my fake happiness only to be left with rage and distress. I start breathing roughly. I feel like I am going to have a panic attack, I need to let out my frustration. I look down at the plates that I put on the counter. I pick one up in my hands and throw it against the wall with a scream.

Through my teary eyes I see the pieces shatter and I feel a release. I laugh sickly and pick up another plate, then another, and another. Soon there are no plates left. I see the paintings on the wall and go for them. I throw each picture and smash the frames. Then I throw everything in my path. Clothes, books, the phone, I even tip over the small coffee table. I am running across to get to the lamp and I trip over the phone. I smash my head into the corner of the coffee table I had thrown but only smile at the large amount of blood that I see when I touch my hand to the wound at my hairline.

When there is nothing left to throw I kick some things around before I collapse in the middle of the room in frustration, and begin to drown in my own sorrows. I cradle my head in my hands and feel the blood flow through my hands.

I know what I have done. I had gone back to my old ways, hiding my true feelings so they build up inside, the cutting, and the tantrum throwing.

I cradle my head in my hands, getting blood on my hands and down the arm of my shirt, and think of Jess. How disappointed she must be in me. How I let her down. I think of how mad Sam is going to get at me. He won't get rid of me right? What if he takes off with his brother and leaves me. I sulk in all my worst fears and weep until I am close to loosing consciousness, partly from being tired, and partly from the blood loss

I hear the door open and look up at Sam "I'm not okay." I whisper thru my tears just loud enough that he can hear.

He and Dean look around the room in awe of the mess I had created but their eyes seem to land on the bigger mess, me. Their faces are full of astonishment and concern.

Sam seems to be frozen but Dean, quickly realizing the seriousness of the situation, walks up to me. He picks me up and places me on the bed, sitting me up against the headboard. He then starts to observe my wounds.

"Hey what happened?" He sounds surprisingly caring. I shake my head in response, not wanting to talk. "Did you cut your hand?" Dean says seeing the blood on the arm of my shirt.

He looks over my hand and after not finding a cut looks at my head. "Sam get the first aid kit" Sam just keeps looking at me.

"Sam!" he came out of his daze and turns for the door.

"Sammmm" I whine, sitting up and reaching for him.

"It's okay" Dean soothes grabbing my hands "he'll be right back Jenny." He lowers me back on the bed.

When Sam comes back in he hands Dean the first aid kit "Should we take her to the hospital?" Sam asks.

"No, It's not that bad, it just looks it. It probably just needs to be stitched up and iced."

"Samm" I whimper. "No needles" He looks to Dean then comes up next to me and takes my hand.

"Don't worry" he says gently "I'm right here"

I breathe in heavy and breathe out releasing more tears. "I'm sorry Sam. I'm so sorry."

"Heyyy" he says quieting me "You have nothing to apologize to me for."

"Maybe to the hotel owner" Dean says looking around the room, which earns him a look from Sam. "Sorry" he mumbles looking back down to the first aid kit.

Sam turns back to me "Just go to sleep Jen" he says trying to push my hair out of my face, which is hard because the blood matted it to my face but Sam keeps stroking my head not caring about the blood he gets on his hands.

Not having the strength to talk anymore, I nod my head and soon let the darkness take over.

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	5. All Along The Watchtower

Hey everyone, Thanx for the reviews!

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**All Along the Watchtower**

When I woke up Saturday Dean was gone. According to Sam he had some "Detective business" to take care of. That left Sam and I to talk.

He sat me down and told me that I am really important to him and he doesn't want to see me hurt. He said that it was completely normal for me to miss Jess, he did every second, but I can't let my grief run my life. He told me not to hide how I am feeling from him and I actually listened to him. Although, I did lie when he asked me if I had cut myself after Jess died. I haven't cut my self once since I had broken down, which was extremely difficult, but talking to Sam always made it better.

It is now over a week later and Sam and I just got back from hiking. We have been doing a lot of things together in the past five days. We also have had a lot of talks, which sometimes result in tears from both of us, but they really help me.

"You know, if I knew you were that afraid of animals I wouldn't have taken you hiking." Sam says entering the motel and kicking of his sneakers.

"First of all, a snake is not an animal! Second, yes you would have." I say dramatically as I collapse onto Dean's bed, which I had now taken over.

"You're right" he laughs. "You scream like such a girl."

"Hey!" I yelled as I throw my pillow at him and it hits him right in the face.

"Ouch that hurt!" he says standing up.

"Yeah, whose the girl now" I challenge, standing up.

"Wow, your funny" he says jokingly impressed.

"I know." I say like it's old news "But I'm also _starving_. Do you think after the hell you put me through today you could maybe buy me some dinner?" I add a toothy grin to persuade him and standup on my tippy toes in anticipation.

"Sure. But only because I don't want to make dinner."

"Thank you!" I jump up.

"You must really like pizza." He chuckles.

"What can I say your food sucks." I say seriously which earns a small glare from him.

"I'll be back soon" He grabs his jacket and heads out the door.

I change out of my hiking clothes and into a pair of faded jeans and one of Sam's big sweatshirts. I lie on the bed and put on my ipod diving back into my book. It has been twenty minutes when I feel someone pull the buds out of my ears. I look up expecting to see Sam but to my suprise find its Dean.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming back for a couple more days."

"Oh yea, well the case was simpler then I thought." He says trying to scoot around the topic as sits on the bed opposite me. "So where's Sam?"

"Getting Pizza"

"Thank god. I'm starving" He says. There is a long awkward pause and I think he is remembering the last time we saw each other. I decide to bring up the obvious and get it out of the way.

"About what happened" I say sitting up on the bed "I'm really sorry."

He takes a deep breath in prepaation for the subject. "Yeah, you were pretty out of it."

"I know…I feel so embarrassed." I say ashamed.

He shakes hsi head softly "Don't worry about it. We all say things we don't mean. However for most people it's induced by alcohol…not blood loss." I laugh a little, liking the fact that the conversation wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.

"I just want to say thank you for helping me." I smile genuinely at him "I mean I didn't even think you liked me."

He looks a little guilty "I know I was a little mean before…I was just worried about my brother."

"It's cool, I get it." I wave it off.

"Well to be honest" He says and he instantly gets my attention. I have not known Dean for long, but even I know he doesn't usually get this personable "I was a little jealous of you."

I can't even explain the confusion that comes over me as my mouth hits the floor "What? Why?"

"I don't know." He stands up, pacing "It's just…he's my brother and there he was caring about you more than I have ever seen him care about anything or anyone." He looks at me and I can tell he is a little embarrassed.

I can't help but laugh. He looks up at me like I am making fun of him so I try to explain myself. "Sorry, I'm not making fun, but this whole time I have been jealous of you. You're his real brother, and I was afraid that since you came back he might…he might leave me." I am now the one looking embarrassed.

Dean chuckles "I have to tell ya kid, you could not be more wrong. Sam is crazy about you."

I look up at him expectantly "Really?"

He nods "Yeah, it's almost sickening how much he cares about you. Trust me he wouldn't take off on you."

I look up at him and smile appreciatively. But when I really look into his eyes I can see there is something else bothering him. "What?" He looks at me trying to convince me nothing is wrong but I know better "Dude, you've got a tell the size of Pamela Anderson's boobs"

He looks at me weird for a second put gets to the point. "Listen Jenny, I saw something that night. Something I probably should have talked to Sam about."

"Well why didn't you?" I asked curiously.

"Because I thought I should ask you about it first."

"That's honorable." I say quietly and try not to laugh when I look up and see him look almost too proud of himself.

"Whatsup Dean?" I ask now more serious.

"Uh well you see when I was cleaning you up I…um.." he hesitates.

"What?"

"I saw the cuts on your wrist"

The answer is like a slap to the face. The last thing I expected to hear come out of Dean's mouth. I mean I've only known him for a few days and now I have to tell him my biggest secret. I don't want to, but what if I don't. I mean keeping secrets is what made me start cutting, right?

"I started after my parents died" I say quickly, looking up to see him listening with sympathy "About a month after I moved in with Jess she found out. She and Sam thought it was best that I go see a therapist, someone to talk to about my _feelings_." I stress the word bitterly that was so often used in my therapy sessions. "Anyway, I stopped, but when Jess died I…I was weak. I didn't want to be vulnerable to people, so I lied. I pretended everything was ok when it wasn't. I let my sickness get the best of me. But it hasn't happened since you left, and it won't happen again." I finish feeling proud of my composure then I look up at Dean in anticipation of his reaction. He still looks like he is trying to understand all that I have said.

He looks confused "No offense, but why did you tell me all that? I mean, you don't even now me."

"That's kind of the point." I say and he nods understandingly. "So you're not going to tell Sam, right?" I am beyond desperate.

"Nope" he smiles. I barely get to thank him when I hear. "You are" I look at him shocked, which seems to make him smile even bigger.

"What?!" I yell standing up. "I can't tell Sam, he'll make me go back to therapy!" I now am moving past composure to full on freakout.

"No offense sweetheart, but you totaled a motel room. Therapy may be a good Idea." He says condescendingly.

"Who cares?! Rockstars trash motel rooms all the time." I decide to throw in my attitude.

"Yeah" he grins "Call me when you join Led Zepplin"

"Hey, that's not fair they broke up….." I tilt my head to the side in thought "and I'm pretty sure the drummers dead." .

"Oh shoot, I guess you're out of luck then" he smirks.

"Urghhh" I fall back onto my bed.

I am about to call him some names that have to be illegal in some country, when Sam comes in with a pizza.

"Dean? I thought you weren't coming back for a few more days." Sam says suprised.

"Oh yeah, well I finished up early"

"Unfortunately" I bit out under my breath.

"What?" Sam asks having not heard me.

"Nothing, can I have some pizza now?" I say walking past Sam to the kitchen.

* * *

We are lying on our beds after finishing our pizza and watching some stupid teenage soap-opera. It wasn't my choice to watch it, but Dean had the remote and took notice of the girls as he passed by the channel.

"Crap." Dean muttered.

"What?" I say not taking my eyes of the tv. The show might be stupid as hell but it is still addicting.

"I left my bag in the car."

"Then go get it" I say simply as my eyes have yet to leave the tv.

"Oh yeah, well...my leg fell asleep."

I chuckle looking at him "Oh please, you don't want to leave the tv."

"Were about to find out who her father is." He says defensively.

I sigh. "I'll go get it."

"Sweet" He grabs the keys of his side table and throws them to me.

"A thank you is also accepted" I mumble as I catch the keys and make my way out the door.

I make my way to his car, or what Dean calls it "his baby". I run my finger across the side of the car as I make my way to the backseat. I unlock the door and don't see a bag. I look under the seat and in the passenger side. Nothing. I lock up the car and begin to walk away. Then I consider checking the trunk. I stick the key in the lock and twist it. I open the truck and am speechless at what I find.

There is every weapon imaginable. Everything is there, from the simple knife to flare guns and hand grenades, and for some reason lots of salt. After I have taken in the contents of the trunks I begin to get scared. Is he a murderer? Is Sam a murderer too? "What the hell." I whisper shocked. I am to shocked to move until my confusion turns to anger. After everything I have been through I don't need this. The thought of being rational doesn't even cross my mind as I grab the bag Dean asked for and a gun with a white engraved handle. I tuck the gun in the back of my jeans and slam the trunk shut.

I storm into the hotel room and slam the door, which causes Sam and Dean to get startled.

I run to the end of Dean's bed and yell with rage in my voice "WHO THE _FUCK_ ARE YOU?"

Dean looks up at me completely taken aback, having no idea where the outburst came from.

"Jenny, What the hell?" Sam yells.

"Why don't you ask your brother Dean here?! Or are you in on it to?" I ask severely.

"In on what, Jen?" Sam says confused.

I snicker and throw Dean's bag on his bed "I found this in your _trunk!_" I snarl.

He sighs heavily knowing his secret is out "Maybe you should calm down." Dean says standing up.

"Stay away form me!" I back up.

"Listen, Just let me explain." Dean tries walking towards me.

"Stay back!" I yell.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." He walks closer.

I pull the gun out from my jeans. "I said stay BACK!" Dean immediately jumps back shocked. I turn desperate "Just _tell me_ who you are?" His face softens when he senses that I am just scared.

"I'll tell you. But can you but down the gun?" he reasons.

"I don't think so" I say thinking that he is trying to trick me.

"Jenny we're not going to hurt you" Sam tries.

"Yeah" I scoff "That explains why you have enough ammunition for a small army!"

"Jenny we aren't murders!" Sam yells frustrated.

"Yeah then what do you shoot with this stuff? Bunny rabbits!"

"No" Sam looks down avoiding the answer.

"Then what _do_ you kill with it?" I yell.

"Ghosts" Dean says simply. Sam yells at him but I can't hear what he's saying.

Did Dean just say what I think he said? "Wh…What?" My eyes are so wide they probably look like they're about to pop. I look at Sam desperate for confirmation which after a few seconds I get in the form of a simple nod.

"Oh my fucking god."

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!


	6. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

**Hey Everyone! Thank you for the reviews! And I would like to give a special thanks to my new beta Jade. She is amazingly talented! I hope you all like the new chapter!**

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**The Quiets Things That No One Ever Knows**

Ghosts, witches, werewolves, they are all real. I can't believe that Sam, the Sam that I have come to know as my brother, professionally hunts these things. And one of these things killed my sister. They came to our apartment and murdered her. They used her as a pawn in their sick game. I can't understand the justice in it... why? Jess was innocent in the whole drama; she was a bystander that got caught in the mess of evil.

"Sam, how come you never told me, especially after Jess died." I stand up from the bed with tears falling out of my eyes and Sam and Dean are standing up in front of me. I feel betrayed somehow, like the only one left out of the secret. The question burned in my eyes as they pierced into Sam's shocked hazel irises.

Sam looks down ashamed and shakes his head "I don't know. I guess…I just wanted to protect you. I mean I didn't want to take away whatever innocence you have left. You deserve to be a kid Jen. I want that for you." He is speaking out of his heart and it makes my tears slow while a genuine smile is planted on my face.

I open my mouth to speak, but I can't find any words to sum up the emotions that I am feeling right now. I start to walk to him and I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. "Thank you Sam." I say with my eyes closed, trying to take in the moment. I needed his comfort, his reassurances; in a world that seemed to darken the more I looked at it. As my arms tighten around his broad form, he kisses the top of my head and we stand there until we are interrupted by Dean "Well I feel left out." I laugh softly as I pull away from Sam and wipe away my tears. "Sorry Dean"

I take a deep breath and get back to the main subject. "Sam, I love you for trying to protect me…but I am not the only one who needs protecting." Sam opens his mouth to object but I need to finish my thought "Wait Sam" I hold my hand up to him "From what Dean has said you are really good at what you do. And I think that you should be out there doing what you do best."

Dean smiles "Listen to the kid Sam, she's smart." Sam ignores Dean and looks at me.

"I can't leave you Jen."

I smile "You don't have to."

"What?" he questions.

I look at him like the answer is so obvious "I can go with you."

With that statement, his face fell before he looked at me with such purpose.

"Hell no" he says barley considering it.

"Why not?" I complain.

"You could get hurt." He states strongly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So what, everything has a risk!" I yell and Sam looks down, shaking his head "Come on Sam!" I yell stomping my foot.

"NO JENNY!" I jump slightly, not expecting his outburst "I'm sorry but no." He says quietly backing up and turning towards the door. I flinch as I hear the door slam loudly and my chin starts to quiver.

I sit down on the end of the bed and look at my hands in my lap. I shake my head wondering how this became my life. "I just want to do this for Jess." I let out a quiet sob and I feel the weight of the bed shift "Is that so crazy?" I ask disbelievingly, looking up at Dean through eyes which were glossy with tears.

He shakes his head and I can try he is trying not to be too emotional "No, it's not."

I breathe out relieved "Then why won't Sam let me do it?' I ask trying to get Dean to look me straight in the eyes, which he has yet to do.

He looks around trying to find the answer but when he does he smiles. He turns to me and looks into my eyes "Because he loves you." He says simply.

I look at him and almost fall apart. How selfish have I been being? Dean's simple answer had changed my whole perspective.Sam just lost the person he loved the most to this thing, and now I want to throw myself in front of it. A tear falls down my cheek as I think of how many times during the past week Sam has asked me how I am, and I have not asked him once. "Oh my god" I say standing up and walking to the door.

"Jenny" I hear Dean call and I turn around expecting him to question where I am going. "Take your phone…just in case you can't find him" He grabs my phone off the side table and hands it to me. I put my hands around the phone but before I take it out of Dean's grasp I give him a smile of thanks, to which he nods understandingly.

I step through the door and close it behind me. I look around and don't see Sam anywhere. I wrap my arms around myself and step into the parking lot. I walk to the end and I am about to cross the street when I see someone sitting on the bench by the maple tree where I first spoke to Dean.

At first I can't tell if it is him through the darkness, but as I come closer I see Sam. He looks so broken. His head doesn't move as he looks forward unwaveringly. He is looking straight ahead towards the maple tree and appears not to notice as I sit down next to him on the bench and match his gaze.

"Did Jess ever tell you about the maple tree we had growing up?" I ask keeping my eyes on the tree. I don't wait for him to answer before I continue "We used to spend our entire day outside at that tree. I would stay on the swing, but Jess…Jess was adventurous, she would climb all the way to the top of the tree. She would swing on the branches and I would just sit there wishing that I could do it too." I smile thinking of Jess but can't help the tears that come to my eyes "One day I worked up the courage to climb it. I got all the way to the top and I was so excited that I slipped and fell." I laugh, thinking of how stupid I must have looked. "Anyway, I broke my arm and had to go to the hospital. Jess blamed herself; she knew that I did it because I wanted to be like her. She felt awful, so she stayed with me overnight at the hospital, and when I was in to much pain to sleep she watched nickelodeon with me until I fell asleep. And when I came home she was always trying to help me. She always watched out for me." I smile through my tears as I finish my story.

"She loved me" I look at Sam "And she loved you too." He looks towards me and I can see the stream of tears falling down his cheeks. I put my hand over his "She loved you so much, Sam."

He takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself "I know" he smiles at me "I just miss her."

I nod and put my head on his shoulder, wiping a tear from my face "Can we miss her together?"

Instead of answering he puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the top of my head. I feel him rest his head on top of mine and we get comfortable just staring at the maple tree. We say nothing, but just sitting with him like this makes me feel better than I have in a long time.

We stay silent for about twenty minutes when I open my mouth to speak "I don't know a lot about your history Sam, but I know that there is some reason that you don't want me hunting. Maybe it was because you were forced into it….but I am not. I want this, I really do." I look up at him sincerely and he looks torn.

"If you get hurt…" He starts but I interrupt him.

"I won't" I say taking my head off of his shoulder and looking him in the eye "Sam you know how bad I want to do this. And you know how you know?" He looks at me quizzically "Because you want to hunt this thing just as bad as I do."

"What? Jenny…" He shakes his head and I interrupt him.

"Don't tell me you don't Sam, because I know you do." I can hear my voice tremble as I speak through tears "You want to kill this thing just as bad as I do…and for the exact same reasons." I look at him and take his large hand in mine "So why don't we do it together?"

He looks at me torn as he takes his hands away from my grasp and uses them to cradle his head. He then gets up and walks closer to the tree. He stands with his back to me and I know that he is trying to make sense of everything and find the answers to the questions that he can't understand.

I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe in, trying to stop the tears, but they continue to flow. I wipe at them with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and stand up. I walk slowly over to Sam and stand next to him silently.

"No matter what happens, Jess is always gonna love you" I look down and turn to him. We are face to face and I put my hands on the top of his shoulders "No matter what happens _I _am always going to love you." I stand on my tippy toes and I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close. I feel him wrap his arms around my waist tightly and he lifts me so our cheeks are touching. Our tears are now mixed and I snuggle into his neck "Always remember that, Okay?" I choke out.

* * *

As Dean watched the interaction between his brother and Jenny, he let a small smile escape his lips at the thought of the young girl joining them on the road. It could be good... it could be bad.

Of course, things would have to change. No more leaving dirty boxers on the floor. No more drinking until he couldn't stand. No more bar fights. Oh, he would miss those. No more girls. That would be a problem.

He rolled his eyes as he thought of the disapproving expression Sam used to give him every time he would roll into the room with a girl hanging off his arm.

Okay, so maybe this change would be good for all of them? Whatever it was... it would certainly be interesting.

**I hope you liked it!**

**Please Review!!**


	7. Appreciation and The Bomb

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to my amazing beta Jade. xoxo.**

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**Appreciation and The Bomb**

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock…wait…I didn't set my alarm clock. I figure that it is for Sam or Dean so I wait for them to turn it off. Almost a minute later it is still going off. I grab my pillow from under my face and cover my head with it, but it won't keep the noise out. I groan into the bed and hit the mattress. I try to wait longer but the sound of the beeping is driving me crazy.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I hit the alarm with my pillow, which causes it to fly into the wall and break. I look up from the destroyed clock, the pieces scattered the dirty motel room. I take in the sight around me with blurry eyes, only to find Sam and Dean gaping back at me with surprise.

"Morning Sunshine" Dean and Sam are sitting at the table and have been watching me the entire time. Dean's amused expression angers me somewhat as I pull myself up in the uncomfortable bed.

"What the fuck. It's…" I look for the clock "well…I don't know what time it is cos the clock is broken, but it _feels_ early." I complain.

"Well Sam, if she doesn't want to train…" Dean says looking to Sam, rather coyly.

"SHUT UP!" I scream excitedly. I look at Sam for confirmation and he nods. "Thank you, Sammy!" I leap up, while screaming excitedly. He stands up as I wrap my arms around his neck and peck his cheek before turning to Dean. Awkwardly, I glance at the eldest brother before I nod gratefully.

"BUT" Sam starts pointing at me "you have to go keep going to school."

I look confused "But I thought you guys lived out of motel rooms and travel state to state."

"We did" Dean says with some bitterness "But Sammy here thinks that it's a bad idea." I can tell Dean doesn't agree. He frowns as he shares a short glance with Sam, letting a puff of air escape his lips.

"I'm confused." I retort.

"Sit" Sam says pointing to the bed. I sit and he lowers himself down next to me. "Okay, we're going to buy a house."

My confusion was still not at ease as I looked between the two brothers. "All of us?"

He nods "Yes. You, Dean and I are going to buy a house. You're going to attend school while Dean and I go on hunting trips."

"But I thought that I was going to hunt too." I say a little hurt.

"You are" he assures me "but only on the weekends unless something important comes up"

I smile genuinely "That sounds fair, I suppose."

"Just make sure you keep up your grades if you want to go on hunts." I nod quickly as I give him a hug.

"As much as I love this Kodak moment, you" Dean says pointing to me "need to start your training"

I laugh and turn back to Sam "I'll go change"

"Meet me outside in 5" Dean yells as I close the door.

* * *

"I'm ready" I say as I step outside the motel in my dark blue short shorts and a white wife beater to see Dean working under the hood of the impala.

"Five miles" He says not taking his eyes off the engine.

"What?" My eyes are wide.

He looks up from the car at me "Five. Miles." He talks slowly like I am stupid and it only adds to my anger.

"But…but I can't run that far. I'm not a good runner. I'll fuckin die!"

He grins "For that language you're gonna do extra pushups when you get back."

"But…"

"Do you want to do more sit ups too?" He seems to get happier as I get even more frustrated.

"Ughhhhh" I groan stomping my feet.

He goes back to working on the car "I'd get going."

* * *

I make my way around the last corner and I can see the motel in the distance. My lungs feel dry, it hurts to breathe, I'm dizzy and I have a gigantic cramp in my side which results in my slow pace. It's not that I am out of shape, but I have always had problem running long distances since I had asthma as a kid.

As I am running into the driveway, I see Dean sitting on the curb looking at his watch. I come closer, avoiding his gaze. I am making my way towards Dean, feeling the pain intensify with every step. I can't stand the pain of my cramp anymore. I stop for only a moment when I voluntarily collapse next to the impala. I let out a moan and take in a deep raspy breath. I feel my heart beating so fast that I think it is going to blow out of my chest. My eyes are closed keeping out the scorching sun when I hear Dean's boots walking towards me. I think about asking for water but am too tired to form a sentence. I open my eyes, to see his jade green irises staring back at me, filled with amusement.

I reach my hand up in the air weakly "water" my voice is raspy and quiet. I don't have to wait long for him to place a bottle in my hand. I bring the water to my lips and take in a gulp and feel the cool liquid doesn't go into my mouth rush across my face. I breathe out a slightly less painful breath and my heartbeat seems to slow a bit.

"You ready?" Dean asks holding out a hand. I give him a glare when I see the grin on his face.

I groan but still take his hand. He pulls me up and tries to balance me. "You okay?" he asks with amusement. I smile unconvincingly "Yeah I'm fine, I just need some more water." He nods in return and I turn around walking towards the motel door. I don't get far before I lose my balance and start to fall. I feel Dean grab me around the waist "Heyyy" he says in a soothing voice. He turns me around to face him and tries to steady me, holding me by the arms "You sure you're okay?" My eyes are squinted but when I open them I gain my composure and give a small smile "Yeah, sorry. Just a little dizzy."

"Lets get you back inside" I nod tiredly in response and he guides me to the motel room. Great, I think. Now he is gonna think that I am some wimp. I think about trying to walk the rest of the way on my own but when I start to put more pressure on my leg the pain in my side intensifies.

Dean opens the door to the motel room and helps me towards the couch. Sam looks up and immediately jumps of his spot on the bed towards me. "What happened?" I can hear his concern as he helps Dean.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" I say with as much force as I can after Dean places me on the couch.

"Yeah, that's why you basically passed out." Dean says not convinced. Sam looks up at Dean who gives him a knowing look.

"What?" I say. Sam looks at me sadly like he is about to give me some really bad news "Maybe you shouldn't do this Jen."

"NO!" I yell sitting up straight which causes the cramp to worsen, but I try to ignore it "I can do this. I'm just not a good runner yet, but I promise to practice. I'll run every morning until I can run five miles."

Sam looks torn, I know that he is unsure of whether this is a good idea and I get scared thinking of my chance at avenging my sister's death slipping away "Please Sam." I say as tears threaten to spill over and my chin quivers slightly.

Dean and Sam deliberate silently and Sam sighs "You have to train everyday…"

I let out a long breath that I was holding "Thank you"

"But" Sam says pointing a finger at me "if I don't think that you are ready you aren't going on a single hunt" Sam says seriously.

"Okay" I nod wiping away my tears and allowing a smile to tug at the corners of my mouth.

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	8. This is Home

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

P.S. Thanks to my amazing beta Jade! XOXO!

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**This is Home**

"We're here!" I hear as someone slaps my foot. I jump up from my slumber and wipe the small amount of drool that was on my face. I look around and see Dean looking back at me from the driver's seat. "Come on kid".

We had been driving for four days and I found the best way not to go crazy was to sleep for at least a couple hours. However since we had been driving almost 12 hours a day that still left a lot of time that was not so easy to fill. I would listen to my ipod until the battery ran out and I would use my laptop to play games. Still the ride would get miserable. I got so bored on the first day that I convinced Sam and Dean to play some stupid alphabet highway game (Sam won. Surprise, Surprise.)

As much as the long hours sucked, it was kinda nice to get to know Dean a little better, and I think that he might actually be a nice guy under all the anger and sarcasm. I'm still not happy that he is still making me tell Sam about the whole cutting thing (which he keeps reminding me of), but I guess that he is just trying to protect me, which only further demonstrates my point that he is a thoughtful person.

"Move it Jen." I get out of the car and stretch my legs. I look around at my new home. It is an average sized white house with green shudders, a big porch with a swing and a maple tree in the front yard. It isn't totally secluded but there are trees surrounding our large amount of land creating a barrier from the other houses "Wow" I say keeping my eyes on the house "The tree…" I point to the maple tree which is almost a carbon copy of the one I told Sam about. It was beautiful; the canopy of leaves covered the front yard in shade. The porch however was bathed in sunshine.

Sam nods smiling meaningfully "I thought that you might like it."

I smile warmly and walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist "Thank you" I say as I hug him. I pull away and we share a smile. I look around and bask in the perfection of the house "And this house…" I walk away from him and onto the porch "It's amazing!" I glow.

Sam laughs at my enthusiasm "It's just a house Jen."

"I know. I just figured we wouldn't be able to afford a decent house. I mean, neither of you have jobs."

Dean smiles as he grabs the last of the bags out of the impala and walks towards me arrogantly "Don't worry about it sweetheart, we got the money handled." He dumps two of my big duffel bag in my arms, which pulls me down slightly, and walks towards the front door with his bags.

I look confused then down to my bags that are falling on the ground and try to pick them up struggling to get them both in my arms at the same time. I look up at Sam frustrated and he is laughing at me. "Shut up!" I bite out as I decide to drag the bags to the door with Sam following behind me smiling.

* * *

After I finish putting away all my clothes I started to decorate my room. I hung up my Bob Dylan poster above my bed and started putting up my collage of black and white pictures on the wall next to my bed.

As I finish I look at the hundreds of pictures of my favorite bands, movies, television shows, and the actors that I find extremely hot.

"Looks good" I turn around and see Sam leaning against my door frame.

I smile "Thanks, it's a work in progress. I'm trying to make it look similar to the one in my old room."

He nods and walks into my room "Well how about you take a break and come have dinner."

"Depends…Did you make it?" I ask with mock fear.

"Haha. Very funny, smartass. And for your information we ordered Chinese." He says as I laugh at him. "Ok then, lets go!" I jump off the bed and run out the door and downstairs.

I come to the bottom of the stairs and make my way to kitchen where Dean is sorting out the food and jump up on the counter next to the food.

"So what do we have?" I ask curiously trying to peak into the cartons.

"We have some dumplings, rice, and pretty much every kind of chicken ever invented." He says while pointing at each one.

"Yummm!"

"Hey you! Get off the counter." Sam says as he finally makes his way to the kitchen.

"Okay, _mom_." I tease as I slide off the counter top and grab a plate.

"Oh Sammy, you gonna let her talk to you like that?" Dean teases as he makes his way over to the small, round kitchen table with his plate (which has so much food on it that I am shocked he got it all to fit).

"Of course he is!" I smile mockingly as I pat Sam on the back and bring my food to the table across from Dean

"Why do I feel like you guys are ganging up on me?" Sam jokes as he follows me.

"Oh I'm sorry Sammy." I smile.

Sam gives Dean a death glare "_Sammy_" he says threateningly.

"What?!" Dean looks amused "I didn't tell her to say it"

"Whatever." Sam says as he sits down and we all start to eat our food.

"So" I say awkwardly trying to find a topic starter "When do I start school?" I come up with.

Sam looks up from his plate. "I was thinking you could start next week. Dean and I have a hunt to do and I don't want you to start until we're back."

"Well you guys just better hope that I don't throw a party." I grin. Sam gives me a sharp look as I struggle to stifle a laugh.

"Oh I don't think you're gonna have time for parties." Dean says slyly. "I mean with all the training you're going to be doing you'll be lucky if you have time to sleep" He smirks.

"What!" I yell. "Are you serious?"

"Of course." He adds, glancing over at Sam, nodding his head.

"Sammmmm" I complain.

"Sorry, kiddo." He says chuckling which causes my mouth to hit the floor. Sam always lets me get my way. "NO…BUT…UGHHHHH!" I yell as I grab my plate and go upstairs stomping my feet with every step.

* * *

It's an hour later and I am putting on my flannel pajama shorts and white long sleeved shirt as my ipod is blasting through my room. I am currently listening to I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick. I hear a knock on the door and tell them to come in.

"Is it safe?" Sam says peaking his head in the door. I don't answer but just give him a death stare while throwing my clothes in the laundry basket. He puts his hands up "I just want to say goodnight."

A small smile shows on my face and I inwardly scold myself. I am supposed to be angry at him. "Fine, but I'm still not happy about the training thing" I get in my bed and pull up my covers.

"I know" he sighs as he walks over and sits on the edge of my bed. "Dean and I are leaving pretty early tomorrow"

I look at him anxiously as the song changes to This is For Keeps by The Spill Canvas. "Oh…do you know what you're hunting?"

"No, but don't worry we'll be fine." He says sensing my concern.

"I'm just worried" I defend. "I mean…I just…I don't want someone else I care about to die" I look down at my hands and play with my thumbs.

"Jenny" Sam says sadly taking my hand in his "I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" I ask praying that he says yes.

"I promise. Now go to sleep." He gets up and kisses my forehead "Goodnight. Love ya Jenny" I watch as he walks away from the door and I realize that it is now or never.

"Sam, wait." I say and he appears at the door looking at me curious.

"I need to tell you something." I sit up in my bed, taking a deep breath. My heart pounded furiously in my chest.

"What is it Jen?" he says sounding worried as he re-enters my room and sits back down on my bed.

"I lied to you Sam." I say sadly, his face is showing confusion. My voice suddenly sounds feeble, even to my own ears.

"About what?" He asks in a way that tells me he is unsure if he even wants to know.

I take a deep breath and try to keep the tears building up from falling over as I focus on my hands in my lap. "I did it." I say "I cut myself." I can't stop as a tears roll rapidly down my face. I look back up warily and see Sam looking shocked, worried, and I think a little betrayed.

"When?" He asks needing to know. His voice was dangerously low as he tried to contain his anger and disappointment.

"Ummm…" I sigh and wipe the stream of tears that are now falling freely "I started right after Jess died, but I stopped after we talked." I say throwing in the last part hoping that it will help.

Sam is looking at my door. You would think that he was waiting for someone to enter, but I know that he just couldn't look at me. He goes to open his mouth to say something but he can't get the words out. His face is blank, completely expressionless. His eyes tell a different story, with a mixture of so many conflicting emotions. It hurt me deeply to be the one that caused that look on his face. All I wanted was his acceptance and forgiveness. I am not too sure if he can give me that at this moment. I feel a strong need to apologise, to justify my actions... anything.

"Sam I'm so sorry" I cry, grabbing his hands trying to get him to look at me. "I just didn't want to hurt you. You were already sad about Jess and I didn't want to worry you when the situation was already under control." I needed him to understand so desperately and my grip on his hand tightened.

Sam finally looks at me saddened. "Jenny, if you have a problem you come to me, okay? It doesn't matter what else is going on, I will always be there for you when you need me."

I nod through my tears and seek out his warm embrace as he wraps his arms around me. "Maybe I shouldn't go tomorrow." He suggests.

"No!" I say pulling away from him and looking at him critically "You should go on the hunt Sam, I'm fine, but those people, whoever they are need your help." I give him a stern look, telling him I mean business.

"Jenny, I don't know how I feel about leaving you alone."

"I'm fine, I swear. I haven't cut myself in over two weeks." He sighs unsure but I give him a pleading look.

"Okay, but if you need me, call me." He says giving me a look similar to the one I gave him.

"Okay" I nod before I fall back into his arms and he kisses me on the top of the head.

"You should get to bed. We'll talk more about this when I get back." he says standing up and pulling my covers up higher. "I love you Jenny" He says with so much meaning it almost breaks my heart.

"Love you too…._Sammy_." I smile, not wanting to end the night on a sad note. He turns around rolling his eyes, chuckling before he continues to walk back downstairs.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of Dean yelling "Sam hurray up!" I get out of bed and make my way to the window. Dean is leaning against the impala looking _pissed_. He looks back down at his watch, takes a deep breath and then storms into the house. "SAM!!!" I hear before he slams the door. I hear Sam and Dean fighting downstairs. Apparently Sam lost his cell phone charger during the move and can't leave without it. I laugh at the stupidity of their argument as I grab my extra charger out of my suitcase and go downstairs.

"Here Sam, take my extra charger." I hand it to him as I yawn. They both look at me heated from their argument. "It won't bite." I laugh. Sam smiles as much as his anger allows "Thanks." He says taking the charger.

"No problem. Now get going!" I say shooing them towards the door. Sam laughs but keeps walking following Dean who is power walking out of the house.

I follow them outside and wait on the porch as they put their bags in the trunk. As Dean slams the trunk door shut I step off the porch with my arms wrapped around me, wishing I had grabbed a robe to throw over my pjs, and walk towards Sam and Dean.

"Bye Sam" I say as I give him a hug "Be careful, okay" I pull away and give him a stern look showing him how serious I am.

"Don't worry Jenny. I'll be fine, I promise" He assures me and pulls me back into a long hug. "You be careful too, okay." He looks at me sternly and nod my head embarressed. I look down with my arms folded across my chest.

Sam looks at me sorrowfully "Come here" I look up at his open arms and step into them "I love you Jenny"

"I love you too Sam" I unfold my arms and wrap them around him rest my head on his chest.

"Wow, this is uncomfortable" Dean says leaning against the car behind Sam.

I laugh as I break the hug and walk to him "You be careful too Dean"

He smiles "Don't worry about me sweetheart. I'm a natural." I laugh at his self-confidence. "Well I still worry about you." I say sincerely. He looks taken back and I am a little too. Since when do I worry about Dean? I mean, I spend a lot of time with him everyday, so I guess it isn't _that_ weird that I care about him.

Dean smiles at me like he is appreciative and understanding of my concern "Yeah, you be careful too, keep the salt by all the…"

"Doors and windows, I know" We both smile slightly.

"Bye Dean" I say as I give him a small hug. I can tell he is confused because he pauses before he responds to the hug. I pull away and smile at him. I start walking back to the porch but turned around after I pass Sam "You guys call me every couple hours." I say not leaving it up for discussion.

"Yes ma'am" Dean says mock saluting. Sam and I chuckle "Bye Sammy" I say as I give him another hug and peck on the cheek. "Bye Jen" He turns around and gets in the car. Soon the engine starts and _Peace of mind _by Boston is blasting through the speakers. The car makes its way out of the driveway and I wait outside until it was no longer in sight. Standing on the porch, I stare at the maple tree, feeling the weight of the world on my soldiers. My life has changed so much, in so little time. I sigh as I turn around and make my way back inside and back to my bed.

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Hope you enjoyed it!


	9. First Day on a Brand New Planet

**Disclaimer:** I don't own supernatural :(

**A/N:** Thank you Jade! (Most Amazing Beta Ever)

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**First Day on a Brand New Planet**

I just got off the phone with Sam and he and Dean were just thirty minutes from home. I was happy to have them coming home but I secretly wished their trip had taken a little longer so I wouldn't have to start school tomorrow. I new I would have to face it eventually but I was nervous about my first day at a new school. Sure I had done it before, but this is different, it is high school. High school is much cliquier. Everybody already has their friends and they don't usually take the time to make new ones. But I decide to not freak myself out over something that hasn't even happened yet. I sit down on the couch and watch reruns of Boy Meets World.

Almost twenty five minutes later I hear the roar of an engine pull into the driveway. I jump of the couch and run over to the window. Sure enough the impala is parked right in front of the porch. I get so excited that I start an all out sprint for the door. When I open the door I let out a screech as I run and jump into Sam's arms. He laughs as lifts me up off the ground and spins me around.

"I missed you kiddo!" He says as he hugs me tighter.

"I missed you too." I say after taking in the smell of his jacket and cologne.

He places me down on the ground and I turn to Dean "You miss me?" I ask Dean smiling.

"Oh, yeah defiantly" he says "especially when we needed someone to make us dinner." He says.

"Hey!" I yell as I hit him which only causes him to laugh. "Come on, kid. Help us with the bags." He says as he makes his way to the trunk.

I smile and decide to enjoy the time that I have today because tomorrow I will enter a whole new world.

* * *

We are only settled on the couch for a minute when Sam asks to speak to me.

"Can you give us a second Dean?" He asks and Dean nods giving me a 'good luck' look before leaving the living room. I look at Sam and he stares at me seriously "You know what I want to talk about, right?" He asks carefully.

I smirk at him and try to be funny "Last night's episode of 7th heaven?"

"I'm being serious Jenny."

"Right, sorry." I say looking down. "Listen Sam, we had this conversation two years ago. I know what you're gonna say so do we have to do this?" I ask pleadingly.

"Well the last talk obviously didn't work." He says.

"Yes it did! I was stupid for a little bit and I'm sorry, but my sister died and I lost my mind a little. Is that so crazy?" I defend.

He looks at me questioningly "You're never going to do it again?"

I sigh released knowing where this is going "Never"

"You promise" he inquires.

"Pinky promise" I say sticking up my pinky finger.

He laughs but sticks his up as well and we curl them together. We share a smile before we embrace each other in a hug.

"I just worry about you" Sam explains as I rest my head on his chest.

"I know" I smile up at him. I pull away from him and stand up from the couch "And I love you for it." I grin as I give him a kiss on the cheek and run up to my room.

* * *

I wake up to my alarm at six. I slowly make my way to the dresser and take out a pair of faded jeans and a cute low cut white tank top with silver beads on the neckline. After I change I go into my bathroom which is connected to my room and brush my teeth. As I apply my makeup I look into the mirror above the sink and I notice the scars on my wrist. "Shit" I realize that I am going to need something long sleeved unless I want these people thinking that I am some suicidal freak. I run into my room and to my closet and go through all of my sweaters. I come upon the pink sweater, Jess's sweater. I take it in my hands and smile thinking of Jess. I decide that I need her strength today so I quickly put the sweater on over my shirt and make my way downstairs.

Before I reach the bottom of the stairs I smell something burning and hear Sam yelling in frustration "Dammit!" I enter the kitchen and laugh at what my eyes find, Sam trying to cook and failing miserably. The pancakes and bacon on the skillet are the color of charcoal and smoke is radiating off of them. I sit down at the counter and Sam is too busy trying to contain his mess to notice me.

"I thought we made a rule to ensure things like this don't happen." I say.

Sam turns around surprised and looks pissed for a second before he realizes the bacon has caught on fire. "Shit" he tries to swat the fire with a wash towel but soon the towel catches on fire and the smoke alarm has started going off.

I am no longer laughing as Sam drops the towel hastily, examining his almost charred fingers. "What do we do?!" I yell. But before we come up with an answer Dean comes into the kitchen in his boxers with the fire extinguisher and starts to put the fire out. Once he is done he takes a deep breath. I look down at my outfit and am thankful that it is still clean.

I look back up at Sam and Dean "I think I'll go with cereal." I say as I get milk and a box of special k and sit down at the counter. "Good idea" Dean says examining the skillet with a disgusted face.

"Sorry guys" Sam says as he throws the half charred towel on the kitchen counter and sits next to me looking disappointed.

"Don't worry Sammy. You were just trying to do something nice." I say as I poor the cereal into my bowl.

"Yeah" Dean says "Just don't try next time." He leans against the counter with his bare chest right in front of my face.

"Dude!" I exclaim looking at Dean "Can you put some clothes on, I'm trying to eat!" I say grossed out. Sam laughs but Dean looks offended which I find funny. He looks like he is about to give me a comeback but he can't find one. He soon gets frustrated and walks off mumbling something to himself.

I laugh then turn my attention to Sam "So are we leaving soon, Because if you are too tired we don't have to go today." I sneak in the last part slyly.

"Very funny. You're going" He says pointing at me "just let me get your stuff" He says going to search for it.

"What stuff?" I say as I follow Sam into the study.

"The things you need for registry." He says picking up a blue folder off the desk that says _Jennifer Juergens_ on it.

"Who's Jennifer Juergens?" I ask Sam as I take the file from him.

"You" He says simply as he grabs the folder back and walks out the front door.

* * *

We had just finished checking in and with a hug and a kiss Sam sent me off to my first period class, biology. As I found the right room number I stood there for a moment working up the courage to enter.

When I opened the door I was met with the faces of about twenty sophomores working on some kind of experiment in groups of two. I looked around for the teacher trying to ignore all of the stares. I made my way up to his desk and handed him my pass. He looks at the pass, quickly welcomes me personally and then looks around the classroom.

"Ok" he said addressing the class "It looks like we have a new student. Since lab partners have already been assigned why don't you work with Charlotte, her partner is absent today. Charlotte raise your hand." He says. I look to the raised hand and find a girl with dark brown hair, so dark I would almost call it black. She is wearing cute heavy rimmed reading glasses which almost hid her eye makeup that would have looked to heavy on me but matched her skin tone perfectly.

As I make my way over to Charlotte I am desperately hoping that she is nice and not some cheerleading Paris Hilton wannabe. I sit down next to her and offer her a smile.

"Hi" I say trying not to sound shy.

"Hey, you can call me Charlie." She says giving me a warm smile. "What's your name?"

I smile at the fact that she seems normal so far and tell her "My name's Jenny."

"Well Jenny, it looks like you and I are gonna be lab partners." She says.

I look confused "But I thought you already had a partner."

She nods her head "Yeah well he skips this class almost everyday, and when he does show up he just sits there and doesn't do anything. I was getting sick of doing all the work."

"Well I don't think I'll be much help" I smile "I suck at bio."

"That makes two of us." She laughs "So what classes do you have, Jenny?" She asks genuinely curious. I look into the agenda they gave me when I registered and take out my schedule, handing it to her.

"Oh, you're in my geometry class…" she says looking it over "and history." She smiles "Geometry is fifth period so if you want you can sit with me and my friends at lunch."

I smile "Thanks. That sounds really good. I was so worried that I was gonna be the freaky new girl that no one wants to hang out with."

"I know how you feel." She laughs "I transferred in last December. I spent my first lunch in the library pretending I had work to do."

"No one offered for you to sit with them?" I ask a little surprised, I mean she seems so nice.

"No, believe it or not high school girls can be real caddy." She says sarcastically, which is when I realized we were gonna be great friends.

* * *

Last period was almost over and I had so much catch up work to do that Dean's training sounded almost heavenly to me.

"Ugh" I said as my teacher walked away after giving me all the notes that I missed and would have to go over.

"Just kill me now." I say resting my head on my desk.

Charlie looks at me laughing "It's not that bad. And besides I have done all of this already, so I can help you catch up."

"Really" I say as I quickly lift my head up.

"Yeah" she says assuring me "In fact I am free today if you want to get together. We could go to the library after school."

"Oh my god you are amazing!" I say thankful that I won't have to go over a billion pages of notes by myself. "I'll just have to call Sam and tell him I'm gonna be late."

"Who's Sam?" she asked.

I paused for a second but remembered the plan "He's my brother."

* * *

"I don't think my brain can fit anymore information!" I groan as I lean back in my chair. We have been studying for over two hours and learning was now becoming torture.

Charlie looks up from the notes at me and yawns "Yeah, we should probably stop for today."

"Thank god" I joke then take a pause before continuing "I really appreciate you helping me Charlie."

"No problem. I had fun…well as much fun as you can while studying." She laughs. "Do you have a ride home?"

"Oh, I was just gonna take the bus." I say putting my purse around my shoulder.

"I can drive you." Charlie says.

"You drive?" I ask surprised, I thought she was a sophomore.

"I stayed back in elementary school." She says understanding my confusion.

"Oh, then a ride sounds great!" I smile as we walk to the doors. "Which car is yours?"

"That one" Charlie says as she walks towards a car that would make Dean so excited he would probably pass out.

"Oh my god" I say stopping in my tracks. "What kind of car is that?" I sound out of breath.

"A 1968 Pontiac Firebird, she's beautiful isn't she" she says eyeing her own cherry red car "unfortunately her insides need a little work."

I look up at her "You know Dean, my… my brother might be able to help you with that." I say as we both climb in the car and she starts the engine which takes a few tries before it catches.

"Really, you think he'll mind?"

"No, it isn't gonna be a problem" I say hoping that Dean isn't still mad about the clothes comment I made at breakfast.

* * *

"Come on" I tell Charlie as we pull in my driveway. It is about five and it has already started to get dark out.

"Are you sure he won't mind?" She asks for the hundredth time.

"I'm sure, come on" I grab her by the arm and pull her up to the door.

"Hello" I yell as I open the door and tell Charlie to come in.

"Jen?" I hear Sam yell from the living room. I walk towards the living room pulling Charlie with me.

When I get to the living room I see Sam and Dean enjoying a beer while watching TV.

"Hey guy's this is Charlie"

They both say "Hi" and Sam throws in a "nice to meet you". She responds politely and if you look close enough you can see she is a little shy which surprised me because to me she seemed so confident.

"Hey Dean, do you think that you can look at Charlie's car?" I ask with a big smile.

"You don't have to." She says dismissively.

"Yes you do." I quickly add "This car is to amazing to go to waste."

Dean looks curious at my statement "Well, lets see the car." He gets up off the couch taking his beer and walks outside and soon we all follow after him. By the time we get out side he is just standing in front of the car.

He turns around and looks at Charlie shocked "This is _your _car?"

"Yeah, she could use some work though." She says.

"Well, why don't you let me look at her for a little while, then I'll let you know if I can help."

"Really? Thank you so much." Charlie says appreciatively.

"Come on Guys" Sam says to Charlie and I. "I'll make you some dinner" I stop and give him a harsh stare "Or I could heat up some pizza" he tries my look remains "in the microwave" he says defeated and I give him a bright smile and a kiss on the cheek before I grab Charlie and take her inside.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**Please Review!**


	10. Love and Memories

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Supernatural...but sadly I dont:( The only thing I own is Jenny.**

**Shout out to the best beta ever! Jade (aka .superatural) is amazing!**

**Happy Holidays everyone! This chapter is my Christmas/holiday gift to all of you! Sorry I didn't wrap it.**

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**Love and Memories**

"I have to tell you Sam, this dinner wasn't half bad." I say standing up and putting my plate in the sink.

"Well, thank you." He said pleased, doing the dishes. "I think those cooking classes are helping."

"Oh yeah" I smile "Whose brilliant idea was that again? Oh right, It was mine." I smile widely, sitting up on the counter next to the sink and pointing to myself proudly. I swear if I had to eat cereal for dinner one more time I was going to kill myself.

"Yes, you're a genius. We all know." He mocks. "Now can you make yourself useful and dry these?" He motions towards the drying rack half filled with dishes.

We are doing the dishes for about ten minutes when Dean walks in. "Dean you missed dinner. Sam made spaghetti and meatballs." I turn to him while still drying a plate.

"You let Sam cook?" He asks scared. "And then you ate it?" He now looks disgusted.

"Hey!" Sam said defending himself. "The food was good! Right, Jen?" He said looking to me for backup.

"Yes it was!" I say strongly putting my arm around Sam in endorsement.

Dean looked surprised then curious "Is there any leftover" He looked like a little kid trying to sneak a cookie before dinner.

I laugh at his childishness before I walk over to the microwave and take out the plate being saved for Dean. I grab a fork out of the silverware drawer and place it on the counter in front of him. "Here." I giggle as his face lights up and he digs into the food mumbling a thank you, which you couldn't understand over the food.

"You think he likes it?" I nudge Sam and we both can't help but laugh.

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It was an hour later and I am sitting on the couch in between Sam and Dean in the living room watching TV. And as usual they both have a beer attached to their hands. In my hand I have the remote. I flip through the movie stations and stop when I see _The Wedding Singer_ and chuckle thinking of the numerous amounts of times Katie and I would watch this and recite all the lines.

I think of Katie, sure I call and e-mail her but we are both so busy with school it is rare that we get to talk. With everything that has been going on with school and training I barely think of my best friend…well I think she is. I mean, yes I am best friends with Charlie now too and I spend more time with her, so does that mean that Katie and I aren't best friends anymore? I'm sure if I have made a new best friend then so has she. They probably do all the fun things that we used to do together. But what did I expect, that she would sit at home and miss me every day?

"Hey Jenny, you ok?" Sam asks looking at me questioningly.

I jump "What? Why?" I ask startled.

"Because Adam Sandler just sang Love Stinks and you didn't even laugh." He says like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh" I try to laugh but I know it comes out fake. "I'm gonna go make a call." I say getting up and walking into my room.

I sit on my bed and put on my music. _Can't Go Back Now _by The Weepies comes through the speakers as I grab my cell phone and scroll through my contact list. I come to Katie's cell number and press send. It only rings twice before she picks up.

"Jenny?" she says sounding a little excited which makes all my worry suddenly wash away.

"Hey Girly!" I jump up faintly as I speak.

"Oh God! I miss you so much! I am so sorry I haven't called, but I have been so busy with school." She said apologetically.

"Me too. I think of calling you all the time, but I have so much make-up work." I complain. "Hey, did you watch The Office last week?" I say excited, smiling inwardly at how quick we fell back into place.

"Yes! And I can't believe that Roy did that!" She exclaims.

"I know" I agree "And I can't believe that Pam forgave him!" We both laugh at our seriousness and I am about to make a remark about our love for Jim when she interrupts me.

"Hey can I call you back tomorrow."

I feel taken aback but decide to not assume anything. For all I know she could have been going out when I called her. "Yeah, sure. What are you doing?" I try not to sound too nosy.

"Gina is here and we're about to watch _The Breakfast Club_." She says excited. "Can you believe that she has never watched it before?"

I feel a sudden pain but try not to let her hear it "Wow…well…I should let you go, but tell Gina I say hi. I'll talk to you later, bye." I say with low spirits and hang up.

Did that really just happen? I thought I was crazy for thinking she would replace me, but maybe I wasn't that far off. She really was replacing me…and with _Gina_. No offense but Gina is the last person I would want to take over my spot as best friend. She is a total backstabber. Last year she slept with her best friend's boyfriend, and this is who my friend picks as the new me. I hope there isn't any real resemblance. I can't really be mad... I have kinda replaced Katie with Charlie. As I sit on my bed pondering my complicated friendship with Katie, I feel myself becoming more jealous of the time she is spending with Gina. I mean, _Gina_... come on! There has to be someone better for Katie.

And here I was feeling bad for being good friends with Charlie, and she was watching our favorite movie with her. I knew with this move we wouldn't stay as close as we were but I always imagined that we would be best friends forever, as stupid as that sounds.

I stand up and turn off my music. I am too frustrated to cry so I decide to change into my pajamas. I get grey sweatpants and a black cami top out of my drawer and put my hair up in a ponytail. I don't bother to look in the mirror before going downstairs.

I walk into the living room and see Sam sitting by on the couch in the same spot, but Dean is nowhere to be seen. I walk over, my shoulders slumped as I shuffle my feet and sit next to Sam. "Who did you have to call?" He asks not taking his eyes away from the tv.

I look at him and wonder if I should lie to him or tell him the truth. "Katie" I say simply looking back to the TV.

"Oh, how is she?" He asks not sensing my dislike towards the subject.

I sigh "Her and _Gina_ are fine." I say biting out the name, which causes Sam to look at me curiously.

"Who's Gina?"

I give a pissed of laugh "_Gina_ is the new me!" I point to myself.

"What?" He chuckles.

"Katie couldn't talk to me because she was too busy hanging out with Gina." I cross my arms over my chest, letting a frustrated huff escape my lips.

Sam looks at me and laughs "So she has other friends, you have Charlie. And besides did you expect her to just sit at home and miss you all the time"

I look a little ashamed "Well…no…but they were watching _The Breakfast Club_, Sam." He is still looking at me like he doesn't understand why it is such a big deal to me. "That movie was our thing, Sam. We would watch it every time we had a sleepover, and recite all our favorite lines…and now she's watching our movie with her new best friend." I look down sad and try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

"Jenny" Sam says soothingly. I look up at him sadly and he puts his arm up motioning for me. I lean into his side as he puts his arm around me. "Whatever happens, you're gonna be fine."

I look up at him skeptically "You promise?" He nods his head smiling before he answers "I promise." He kisses the top of my head and rubs my arm in an up and down motion before we turn our heads to the TV to resume watching the movie.

We stay like this for a half an hour, until Dean comes in the room with Sam's laptop. "I think we got ourselves a hunt."

I sigh "Great." I stand up. "You guys talk hunting, I'm gonna go upstairs." I walk towards the stairs.

Dean steps in front of me "I don't think so." I look at him confused "If you want to take part in the hunt, you have to help us research it."

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** I hope you all liked my Christmas gift to you! If you want to get me something too I think I have an idea *cough* review *cough*!**

**Happy Holidays everyone!**


	11. Is There A Ghost

**Disclaimer: **I sadly don't own supernatural.

**A/N:** So sorry that it has been taking so long to update, but my beta Jade and I are both extremely busy with school and work. We just wanted to let you now that we really care about this story and we work on it as much as possible. Thank you so much to our readers and reviewers!

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**Is There a Ghost**

"Are we there yet?" I ask about to crawl out of my own skin. We have been on the road for six hours straight and sleep is not an option. I am way too excited for my very first hunt. According to Dean it is a simple salt and burn, some high school jock that died of alcohol poisoning during a team party, but I don't care. I am finally going to hunt. All of the training is going to pay off.

"We're about twenty minutes away." Sam looks back at me. I smile excitedly and jump up and down in my seat.

"I hope you're this excited when you've got a dead football player running after you." Dean says keeping his eyes on the road.

I laugh and rest my head on the back of their seat "Well I could just be all broody like you, Dean." I put on my best pouty face.

"Hey" Dean quickly turns around pointing at me then turns his finger to Sam "He is the brooding one."

I laugh at Sam's shocked face "I don't brood."

I tilt my head slightly to the side "You kinda do Sam." Dean and I laugh as Sam's shocked expression turns a little pissed then he kind of pouts.

"Samm!" I exclaim loudly "You're brooding right now!" He turns around and looks at me quizzically.

"What are you talking about?" He asks innocently which causes my mouth to hit the floor.

"Are you serious?" I ask and he nods his head. His expression was the picture of innocence but his eyes gave him away.

"Wow" I lay back in my seat laughing.

* * *

"Do we seriously have to stay here?" I ask disgusted letting my duffel bag fall to the ground.

"Sorry sister, this is the only motel in the area we can afford." Dean says walking up next to me. I look around at the room which consists of two queen beds that appear be clean, but I can't get past the awful smell of the couch.

I groan as I walk over to the table and sit down. "So what do we do now?" I ask smiling hoping for an excuse to get out of the room.

"Well, now we go and talk to the team."

I smile as I stand up and grab my pea coat. I follow Sam and Dean out the door and to the impala.

* * *

They haul out of the impala and make their way to the field where the team is practicing. I stay in the car because there is no way anyone would believe I was a cop. I watch as they speak to the coach and the coach calls over one of the players. They speak for only minutes before saying their goodbyes and Sam and Dean walk back to the car.

"How did it go?" I ask impatiently when they get in the car.

Dean sighs "Great" he sounds sarcastic "Both the coach and his best friend say that Trevor Wesley was a very happy kid and straight A student, but he drank too much one night at a party and died of alcohol poisoning."

I look confused "But that doesn't sound like vengeful spirit material. Are you sure it's him?"

"If it's not him who else would it be?" Sam asks.

"No one" Dean says "It has to be him. He dies and now four months later three of his team mates die unexplainably. It has to be Trevor."

I look between them "So what does that mean?"

"It means someone is lying to us." Sam says turning back around.

* * *

"Did you find where he was buried?" I asked as we sat around the table in our motel eating.

"I'm working on it." Sam says scrolling through his computer.

"So if we find it we can just salt and burn the bones, right?" I ask.

"Yep" Dean says paying little attention to me and more to his burger. I smile and nod looking back down at my chicken wrap.

"It might be a little harder than that." Sam says sighing.

This immediately takes Dean's attention away from his burger "What are you talking about?"

Sam turns his computer around to show us "Trevor Wesley wasn't buried. He was cremated."

"So let me get this straight" Dean says exhausted "We have no motive and no body to burn." It is more rhetorical but Sam still nods.

"This case is gonna be a bitch." Dean says dropping his burger.

They both look tired and pissed off so I decide to step in "Let's go over all the facts again. Okay?" They both gave a nod and Sam started.

"Trevor Wesley died of alcohol poisoning on September 14th. He was at a party with his team mates and according to them, he was depressed that his girlfriend broke up with him."

Dean nods "Yeah, and they were all so wasted that they didn't notice him go into the bathroom and drink an entire bottle of whiskey."

"He was found the next morning on the floor covered with blood. They say he must have slipped and hit his head on the tub at one point." I finish.

"But it didn't kill him?" Sam asks.

"No, the doctors say he might have just had a severe concussion, but the drinking did him in."

Sam sounds frustrated "And now we are back to square one."

We all sit there and think for a while before I get an idea. "So if he is a spirit he would want to kill the people responsible for his death, right?"

"Yea, except he killed himself." Sam says.

"So then why is he going after the team?" Dean wonders.

I look at Sam and Dean curiously as a light bulb goes off in my head "Well, what if the team did kill him?"

Dean and Sam look at me questioningly "You mean, what if his team hand poured a bottle of jack down his throat?" Dean asks me like I am crazy.

I shake my head "No…well kinda. What if it was a hazing?"

"Hazing" Sam says.

"Yeah" I nod grabbing a file off the table "It says here that Trevor only joined the team two weeks before he died." I place the file down and look at Sam "So maybe the team invited all the newbies to a party for some _team building_." I look back up and Sam and Dean appear to be taking in everything I have said.

"Looks like we are gonna go have another talk with the team." Dean says taking a chug of his beer.

* * *

I felt like shit. Who the hell has practice at 8 o'clock on a Saturday? And why do I have to come if all I am gonna do is sit in the car? I shake my head as I watch Sam and Dean talking to the quarterback and appear to be getting nowhere. I take a sip of my vanilla chai ,that I forced Dean and Sam to get me this morning because they woke me up so early, and I look up to see a lone football player sitting on the bench far from the field. I tilt my head to the side quizzically and decide to go talk to him.

I get out of the car in my pea coat and walk over to where he is sitting. I stand next to the bench and look over at him. He has muscle but not enough for it to be creepy and he has brown shaggy hair. "Do you mind if I sit?"

He looks up at me startled then smiles warmly "No, go ahead."

I smile as I sit down "My name's Jenny."

"Ethan" he says shaking my hand "Which one is yours?" He motions to the field.

I look at him questioningly before understanding his meaning "Oh no" I shake my head laughing "I'm with them" I point to Sam and Dean.

He looks at me sceptically "Aren't they a little old for you?"

"They're my brothers." I say smiling. He nods and looks back to the practice.

I follow his gaze to the field and watch the players doing drills "So, why aren't you playing?" I ask nonchalantly.

He sighs and I can tell that it hurts him to talk about it "Well, according to coach I have an attitude problem." He sounds a little hostile.

"Do you?" I ask not looking away from the field.

He looks down and breaths in "I guess." He says and I look towards him "I just miss him."

I come to realization that he was friends with Trevor and the other players and I know that if I want to solve this case Ethan might be the key. "You were friends with them, the ones who died?" I ask pretty much knowing the answer.

He looks straight ahead but answers me "Yeah, I knew all of them, but I was really only friends with the first one that died." He looks torn up and broken and I know how he is feeling.

"You were friends with Trevor?" I ask and he replies with a solemn nod.

"We were on the junior varsity team together and got moved up to varsity together." He tries to fight it but I can see the smile pull at the edge of his mouth at the memory of Trevor.

I immediately want to ask him questions about the party, but I know I will come across way to strong. But there really isn't a good way to talk about his friend dying.

"If you don't mind me asking" I say trying to be as respectful as possible "How did he die?"

"You don't know?" he asks slightly surprised.

"Well, I've read the newspapers." I explain "but I have a feeling there is something you're not telling me." I try to meet his eyes, which is difficult because his head is down.

"It's not really any of your business." He sounds pissed so I become softer.

"I know that this is hard for you."

"Really? How could you possibly know how I'm feeling?" He bites out. Normally I would be pissed, but since his friend died and he doesn't know me I decide to let it pass.

"Well, I know an awful lot." I say sitting back and he looks at me questioningly "My parents died two years ago…" he looks saddened "and my sister died about two months ago."

He looks guilty "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." I interrupt "You didn't know." I take a deep breath and try to focus on the job. "Listen, I know that it's hard, but you can't keep things like this locked up. Trust me, I know from experience." I put a hand on his arm for support. "Whatever you're hiding, it's gonna eat you up inside, and soon you're gonna become something that you don't want to be."

He looks at me cynically "Why should I tell you? I don't even know you."

"Isn't that more of a reason?" I try to reason, knowing from experience that it is easier to talk to someone that won't judge you.

He looks down and tries to work up the courage to speak "They said that it was tradition, for the team to throw a party for the new varsity players. We figured that we would all just hangout and drink a little. If I had known what was gonna happen I never would have gone." He looks down shaking his head.

"What Ethan?" I ask encouragingly "What did they make you do?" I look into his eyes convincing him to tell me. He looks back at me broken and hurting. I know how hard it is for him to speak so I decide to tell him what I think.

"It was a hazing, wasn't it?" I ask quietly, keeping eye contact. A lone tears falls from his eye and I know the answer, so I give him a nod.

"We wanted to stop drinking" He says quietly "but they wouldn't let us. They kept yelling at us and shouting orders. They hit Trevor with a baseball bat. They didn't want to hurt him, but they did. And he was just gone." He lets out a chilling breath and puts his head in his hands. I place a hand on his shoulder.

"Ethan, you need to tell someone." I tell him softly.

He looks back up at me astonished "No. I can never tell anyone." He says shaking his head and wiping the tear that fell from his face.

"Please Ethan, you don't understand." I grab his arm urgently "If you don't tell someone more people will die." I blurt it out before realizing I had said too much. I see his look of curiousness and cringe. I can see he is about to question me, but before he can get the words out someone yells to him.

"Ethan!" I look over and see his coach coming towards us. "I told you to sit there and think about your attitude! I did not tell you to talk to your _girlfriend_." He looks at me with disgust, like I am some slut trying to seduce his player. Usually I am way to nice to yell at people, but I feel the need to stick up for Ethan. I give the coach a dirty look and stand up.

"Why don't you back off buddy!" I say getting in his face "He's upset, why don't you leave him alone?"

Now the coach looks pissed "Listen here missy…" He starts but I instantly cut him off.

"You did not just call me missy." I step closer to him. He gives me a nasty smirk. I bite out a swear and take another step towards him only to feel myself being grabbed by the arm and pulled back. I go to yell at who grabbed me put stop myself when I see Dean.

"What the hell Dean?" I say pulling my arm out of his grasp. He looks at me pissed but ignores my question and looks to the coach.

"I am so sorry for any trouble sir." I groan at Dean and then notice Sam trying to guide me to the car. He softly grabs my arm, but I keep my eyes on Ethan who looks lost.

"Wait" I tell Sam softly as I run back to Ethan. I pull a pen out of my pocket and take his hand.

"We need to talk, Ok? It's important, meet me here after practice." I tell him and he nods looking at the address I wrote on his hand. I say a quick goodbye and run back to Sam and Dean.

We get back to the car and Dean grabs me by the arm as I reach for the door "What the hell was that?"

I look at him smirking "It's the job, Dean." I pull my arm from his grip and open the car door before looking back to him with the same smirk "And I totally kick-ass at it."

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**Like? Didn't like? Let me know what you think!**


	12. Into The Mystic

**Disclaimer:****I own nothing you recognize.**

**A/N:**** Hey guys. I'm sorry. I know I said I would have this chapter up last week but I had a family emergency. My grandpa, who had been sick for a while, started getting worse so my family spent the week at his house taking care of him. He sadly passed away, but I was lucky enough to spend his last days with him. He was a great man and grandfather that will be missed by many. In his honour I named this chapter after one of his favourite songs, which is by Van Morrison.**

**Thanks again to my beta Jade.**

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**Into The Mystic**

"Get the door!" Dean yells from the bathroom. I sigh as I sit up from my laying position and place the remote control on the nightstand. Whatever happened to the word please? I place my hands on the bed and push myself into a standing position. I walk to the door and look through the peephole. I find the person that I was expecting, but am still shocked that he showed up. I open the door quickly and come face to face with Ethan.

"Hey, I'm glad you came." I say stepping aside to let him in.

He walks through the door looking shy and out of place "Yeah, well it sounded important." His hands are in his pockets and his shoulders are hunched over.

"Yeah…well…" I look around and I am unsure if I should just break it to him. But that leaves the large possibility that he will take off running. I open my mouth to speak when I hear a door open and see Dean come out of the bathroom.

"Is Sam back with the…" He stops when he sees Ethan and looks at me like I am up to something "What is he doing here?"

"He's here to tell me what happen that night." I answer Dean but find myself speaking gently to Ethan. Dean looks at me suspiciously but then turns to Ethan. The pressure must get to him because he starts to fidget.

"Listen, I was really drunk. I don't really remember anything. I think this was a bad idea. I should go." He quickly goes for the door but I step in front of him and grab him by the shoulders.

"Wait. I know that this is hard for you, but you have to tell us everything you know. I know that this sounds crazy, but if you don't…" Oh god. Just pull off the band aid. "people _will_ die." I look deep into his eyes and pray that he doesn't take off.

"What?" he asks with a shaky breath, glancing between me and Dean, nervously.

"You know what I am talking about don't you? You know that I am right." I can see in his eyes that he had his suspicions, but he thought that they were so crazy that he didn't mention it to me. "Listen Ethan, I wish that I could explain everything to you, but we don't have time. You need to tell me everything about that night."

He looks down torn. I bite my lip in anticipation of his reaction. He doesn't look up before turning around and before I can beg him not to leave I notice him sit at the table. I give him a questioning look.

"You gonna join me or not?" He asks motioning to the seat next to him.

* * *

"It still doesn't make sense" I say "How is he still here?" My forehead is wrinkled in confusion and my fingers are rubbing my temple to ease the growing head ache. Ethan's story had made it hard to concentrate. I couldn't imagine how scared he must have been. They were being forced to consume enormous amounts of alcohol and then beaten to pulps. I look up and see Dean with the same expression that I have.

"Sam?" I ask as I see him look as if he is starting to put the pieces of this confusing puzzle together. He looks up at me and then to Ethan.

"Ethan, after they beat Trevor you said that you went to help him." Sam says checking his facts. "Did you get any of his blood on you?" He asks and I am still trying to catch up on his theory.

"Yeah" Ethan says sadly "There was so much blood….my shirt was covered." He says trying not to cry.

Sam looks sad but has no time for compassion as he shoots out his next question "Did you throw away the shirt?" I can tell that he means business and I begin to realize the importance of the blood covered shirt.

"Uhhh…" Ethan starts as a tear rolls down his cheek and he quickly wipes it away "I just…I couldn't throw it away. I tried but it felt wrong somehow. It was like I was trying to cover up his death." He takes a shaky breath out and puts his head in his hands.

I give him a look of compassion but then turn my head to Sam "So his blood counts as human remains, right?" I ask quietly.

He nods as he reaches for his coat "Yeah. And we should go take care of it now, before anyone else gets hurt." I nod and walk to the bed and grab my coat.

"We're going to need the shirt." Dean tells Ethan as he stands up "Now"

Ethan looks so confused and lost "What? Why?"

Dean goes to answer but I step in trying to help "It's a long story… but if you want I can explain it to you on the way." I offer a warm smile, trying to make him feel more at ease. Dean and Sam give me a questioning look but I shake my head at them, wiping it off.

He looks back and forth between Dean and I unsure, but nods slightly towards me "Ok" He stands up and grabs his car keys out of his jacket pocket "Just follow us." Ethan tells Sam and Dean as he makes his way to the door.

I follow him outside and make my way to his car as Sam and Dean walk to the Impala "See you guys there" I smile as I get in the passenger seat of the car.

* * *

"Wow" Ethan says keeping his wide eyes on the road.

"Trust me, I know"

He looks confused and glances at me quickly "So if we salt and burn the shirt his spirit will be put to rest?"

"Yep" I nod "And then this can all just be a memory."

"Well for some reason I think this might stay with me for a while." He says sarcastically and I smile. I know what it is like to want to use sarcasm to hide your pain. If I knew him better I would tell him not to, but I decide against it. It is a useful defence mechanism, trying to cover up your true emotions with humour. I can see right through the facade, knowing all the signs. It used to be me.

After a few minutes of silence I decide to talk to him "So what grade are you in?" I know that it is an extremely lame question, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.

He smirks "Nice topic starter."

"Shut up" I giggle "I didn't hear you come up with anything."

He nods laughing "Well, I'm a junior."

"Oh, I'm a sophomore" I say and he stares at me surprised "What?" I ask slightly embarrassed.

"Oh, well I just….I thought that you were older than that." He says simply "I mean, I know you don't need a license to hunt ghosts, but I figured you'd be older than sixteen." He says as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Actually" I smile "I'm fifteen" I can't help but laugh at the look of shock that comes across his face. After his shock wears off he joins me in laughter and I can't help but melt into his warm smile. I daze off into very unprofessional thoughts when I realize that the car has stopped. I look up at a beautiful house, if you can even call it a house; it is more like a mini-mansion.

"Wow" I say as I stand up out of the car.

Ethan shuts the door to his car and rests his arms on the roof "Yeah, it came along with the new step-dad."

I smile at his humor "Someone sounds bitter."

He shrugs his shoulders "The way I see it they are always on vacation and I get the house to myself."

"Win, Win" I smile at him and we share a laugh as I notice Dean and Sam pull up in the Impala.

Dean and Sam step out of the car and walk over to us "So you got the shirt?" Dean asks, all business.

"It's in my room, come on." Ethan says motioning for us to follow him. I go to follow but I am pulled back by Sam. Dean looks at him quizzically, but Sam tells him we will be there in a second.

"What's going on Sam?" I ask confused.

He looks around and I can tell this is hard for him to say "Listen Jen, you really shouldn't get too involved with Ethan."

"What" I laugh, but stop when I look up to see his expression hasn't changed "Wait, are you serious?" Now my laugh has turned bitter. Is he really trying to tell me who I can't date? Not that I wanted to date Ethan, but if I did it isn't Sam's business. He isn't my father.

"Jenny" he tries to reason with me, but I am not having it and I rip my arm out of his grasp "No! You can't tell me what to do! You're not my father!" I yell quietly as I turn around towards the house.

He looks incensed as he steps closer to me, trying to talk in a hushed tone. "First of all Jenny, You are my responsibility and second of all, I am just looking out for you!"

"Oh really?" I ask spinning around "Because Ethan is such a terrible guy? Sam I don't need you to protect me from a guy." I give him a glare and put my hands on my hips trying to appear strong and independent.

"I'm not worried about that." He says looking down.

"Then what is this about?!" I ask forcefully. I am getting so frustrated and I just want to get on with the hunt.

"It's just…" Sam starts but has trouble finding the words.

"What?" I sigh, just wanting to get this conversation over with.

"It's just…In this line of work it is a bad idea to get close to people." I look at him puzzled so he continues "If you get close to Ethan and something were to happen to him, I don't think that you could handle it Jenny." He shakes his head softly "After everything with Jess…"

It was like the flip of a switch. I stare at his face filled with sorrow and my stomach starts to feel like a black pit. I go to answer, but when I try to speak nothing happens. I soon realize that I had started crying and words can't form in my choked up throat. After several failed attempts at speaking the pit in my stomach grows bigger and I look back and forth between Sam and the end of the driveway. Sam's looks concerned and he moves towards me to wrap me in a hug. I back up slowly before turning and running.

I hear him yell my name and chase after me, but I keep running. After running for about three miles I come to a halt. I place my hands on my knees and start to sob through my panting.

Sam was right. I couldn't deal with loosing someone again. I wasn't strong enough. How could I ever think that I was strong enough for this? I was too weak to deal with the most basic of emotions after Jess died. How could I expect myself to deal with losing two people?

I control my breathing and stand back up straight. I look around and see that I am near the middle of the town. I know that I can't go back to the motel yet so I decide to look for some dinner. I walk down the side of the road for ten minutes before I find a restaurant.

I don't even pay attention to my surroundings. I just follow the smell of food into the restaurant. I open the doors and look around at the setting. It is an old fashioned bar and grill type restaurant. There is a group of twenty something's sitting at the bar and playing pool. I look down and walk over to a table.

I sit there and look at my hands as I play with a loose string at the bottom of my black v-neck top. I am interrupted by someone tapping me on the shoulder. I look up and expect to see the waitress but I find Ethan.

"Hey" He says smiling warmly.

"What are you doing here?" I ask surprised.

"Oh" He says looking into my eyes "Well your brothers were worried about you so I offered to come and check on you." He smiles at me.

"Why didn't they come?" I ask bitterly.

"I don't know…Something about a ritual." He says and I look at him curiously.

"Why don't they just salt and burn it?"

"Don't ask me." He puts his hands up.

I sigh looking down at my hands "Did they say how long it would take?"

"Nope" he says taking the seat across from me. There is an awkward silence that Ethan decides to break "So do you want to talk about what happened?" He offers.

"Yeah" I laugh dryly "You're exactly who I want to talk to about this. I barely know you." I tell him.

"Fine" He says smiling "We don't have to talk about it. How about you let me buy you a drink?" He smirks standing up.

"What?" I look at him wide eyed "I'm not twenty one. And neither are you." I point at him.

"Yea, but I have this." He pulls out and ID and shows it to me. I laugh at the perfection of his fake ID. It was almost as good as the ones Dean keeps in the front compartment of the Impala. I remember when I found them. There was a selection of ID's for everything you could think of, it was genius. For our profession, you need access to all sorts of things. I made a mental note to ask Sam if I could have my own selection of fake ID's. I would need them in the future; I mean... they can't expect me to wait in the car on every hunt. Bringing my attention back to the boy sitting across from me, I grin slightly before letting out a laugh.

I slow my laughter and look at him skeptically "I don't know if I should."

"Well the way I see it, we both had a shitty day, so how about we drown our sorrows in some beer." He looks at me slyly and I laugh.

"Fine" I concede standing up "But if you try anything…" I say jokingly as I point to him making my way to the bar. He hurries up to catch me and he is next to me at the bar.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asks.

"Two beers" He says holding up two fingers.

"The bartender looks at him curiously "Can I see some ID?"

Ethan smiles as he pulls out his wallet. He takes out his ID and holds it in front of the bartender.

The bartender nods excepting the ID "Two beers coming up."

I giggle as I turn to Ethan curiously "So, Where's your mom?"

He looks down sadly and I regret bringing up the topic "It's a long story." He says.

I am about to apologize as the bartender comes up with our drinks. I glance at the beer and pick up both the glasses "You ready to play some pool?" I ask smiling and holding up his beer to him. He looks up at me taking his beer. "Come on." I say grabbing his hand and leading him over to the pool table.

* * *

"But I wanna stay!" I whine as Ethan pulls me out of the bar. I have had a couple too many drinks and Ethan was smart enough to try and stop me, but I still wanted more.

"No Jenny" He says opening his car door with one arm still around me "Lets get you back to the motel okay" He helps me down into the passenger seat of his car.

I sit in the seat and relax into the comfort of it. My face is resting on the window as Ethan starts the car "Can we go see Sammy?" I ask like a child begging for a cookie.

Ethan laughs at me "Somehow, I think that's a bad idea."

"But I have to tell him I'm sorry!" I slur.

"For what?" He asks confused.

"All kinds of things." I answer simply with a small pout.

He looks at me questioningly but tries to ignore the feeling of curiosity "Just go to sleep Jenny. We'll be at the motel in a minute."

I nod tired and slouch down in my seat and try to get comfortable. It only takes seconds before I dose off.

* * *

"Come on" Ethan says leading me into the motel room "There you go" He places me on the bed and I lay down dizzily.

"Ughhhh" I moan "Make the room stop spinning"

I hear Ethan giggle and I moan louder "Shut up"

"Here..." Ethan says bringing the small waste basket over to me and sitting on the edge of the bed "If you feel like you have to throw up, use this" He holds up the basket to show me and then places it on the ground next to me. I nod tiredly and close my eyes, dosing off.

* * *

I look down at Jenny's sleeping face. She looked so beautiful, but so broken at the same time. I smile at her as I run a hand through her soft hair. She stirs slightly and moves into my hand. My smile grows. I have only known her for less than a day, but I was drawn to her immediately. She understands how I feel and she cares about helping me. When I am around her I feel different. She makes me laugh without even trying and I find myself wanting to know everything about her. And I wanted to help heal whatever pain she must be feeling.

I stand up and walk down to the end of the bed. I take the laces of her converse sneakers and untie them slowly. Once they are loose I pull the shoes off gently, one at a time. I place them on the floor and grab the blanket off the end of the bed. I walk up to the head of the bed as I unfold the blanket. I lay it down over Jenny and try to cover her completely.

Once she appears comfy I look around for a place to sleep. I look to the other bed and walk over to it. I sit down so I am still facing Jenny and take off my shoes. I take of my jeans so I am left in my boxers and slide into bed. As my eyelids start to droop my eyes never leave the sight of Jenny and the rising and falling of her chest.

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Thanks for reading. Reviews are always apprieciated.


	13. Can't Fight This Feeling

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

Thanks to my beta Jade and her sis!

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**Can't Fight This Feeling**

I wake up to the feeling of my stomach turning. I moan and grab my abdomen as it lurches. My hand goes to my mouth as I sprint for the bathroom. I drop in front of the open toilet and expel my insides. My stomach heaves and tears fall down my cheeks at the pain from my stomach, throat and head. The heaving stops and I relax momentarily. I lay my head on the seat and my arms stay laying freely on it.

"Jenny?" I hear from the bedroom.

I let out a moan as loud as my body allows and I see Ethan come to the door of the bathroom in only his boxers and t-shirt. He wipes the tiredness out of his eyes and when he sees my situation fully, he instantly is at my side.

"Are you okay?" He asks worried as he kneels next to me.

I nod my head "Yeah…just nauseous."

"Okay" He nods "Do you think you're done?" he sounds weary.

I nod as I wipe the drying tears off of my face "Yea"

He places a hand on my elbow and one on my back to help me up. Once I am vertical his hand remains on my back and I stand unsure before turning to him "I can walk now" I laugh a little as he jumps back slightly embarrassed.

"Right" he smiles, blushing as he rubs the back of his neck nervously.

I laugh and walk back to the chair with my bag on it. "So we should probably head over to your house." I say placing my clothing choices on the bed "They probably are wondering why you never came back last night."

"And you don't think that they are wondering where you are?"

"Sam knows that when I am pissed I need time to myself. He and Dean probably figure that I went back to the motel room and watched TV and then fell asleep." I explain before pointing a finger to Ethan "Which is exactly what they are going to think."

He holds his hands up surrendering "Hey, your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks" I smile genuinely as I walk closer to him "You know, for everything"

"Don't worry about." He assures me smiling "I mean who would pass up the chance to hear you sing Reo Speedwagon on top of a pool table"

"I did not!" I plead, covering my mouth in horror and embarrassment.

He laughs nodding "Yeah…Yeah you did."

I groan and he chuckles "Don't worry it wasn't that bad" He places a hand on my shoulder in support "It was actually kind of cute"

I am taken aback but as I look up and meet his blue eyes I can't help but smile back. We share our moment for only a few seconds when I remember that I can't be doing this. I can't have a crush on him, I am leaving tomorrow and we would never see each other again.

"Well" I say pushing my hair behind my ear and looking down to break our gaze "I am gonna go get changed, then we'll go"

He nods and I feel bad as I see his disappointment. He probably thinks that I don't like him. If only I could tell him how I really feel.

We arrived at Ethan's house and I saw the Impala in his driveway. "You ready" I sigh as we stare at his house. He nods nervously "Yea…I guess."

I roll my eyes as I open the car door and get out. I close the door and look at the house "Remember, if you say anything…." I warn pointing a finger at him.

"Oh yea, because I really want to tell your protective older brothers, who kill ghosts for a living, that I got their baby sister drunk." He says sarcastically.

"Haha." I say unimpressed "Let's just go." I say and walk towards the front door. He catches up with me as I open the door and we enter the house together.

"Hello" I yell as we walk into the house.

"In here!" We hear Dean yell from inside the kitchen.

We glance at each other before walking into the kitchen and seeing Sam and Dean eating breakfast.

"Enjoying your food?" I ask Dean sarcastically as he stuffs his sandwich in his mouth. And he nods smiling.

"What happened to you last night?" Dean asks Ethan.

"What? Nothing happened last night!" Ethan says quickly and I give him a swift kick to the foot.

"Nothing Dean." I give a cheeky smile "I didn't know if you had gotten rid of the spirit yet so I didn't want him to be alone and unprotected."

"Oh" Dean shrugs digging back into his food.

"So…Did you do anything fun?" Sam asks trying to clear the air.

"Uhhhh…" I search and probably look like a deer in the headlights "We….."

"We went out for some dinner" Ethan jumps in saving me. I glance at him thankfully before giving an assuring smile to Sam and Dean.

"Oh. Where'd you go?" Sam asks us. Geez he sure likes to ask a lot of questions today. Luckily for me Ethan had taken over the conversation.

"We went down to the local pub. They have good food…" I give him an additional thankful smile but he then continues and I wish that I could take it back "and Jenny forced me to go when she found out about Karaoke night." He says grinning knowingly at me, giving a small wink.

My mouth is agape and Dean laughs "Jenny sang?"

"Oh yeah" Ethan assures "She busted out the classics. You should here her sing Reo." He says pointing his thumb back to me.

Dean looks at me entertained "I'd love to."

I smile fake at him "Oh that would be great Dean, but what about the hunt."

"We can get back to that later. Come on…Here I'll start you off. _I can't fight this..._" He starts to sing but I interrupt him frustrated.

"Shut up!" I hit him on his arm and he pulls away laughing.

"Ughhh…I hate you." I grumble. "Can we just talk about the hunt? Please." I almost beg.

Seeing Dean's mouth full of sandwich, Sam answers me "Uh, Turns out this thing isn't a ghost."

I look at him wide eyed "What?"

"Wait" Ethan says confused "If it isn't a ghost what is it?"

"Well, Ethan do you know anyone that would want to bring Trevor back?" Sam asks gently.

Ethan shakes his head frustrated "No…. Well…he died at seventeen, of course there are people who want him back."

"Would any of these people happen to know Egyptian mythology?" Dean asked placing his sandwich down.

I look at Ethan and he shakes his head frustrated before a light bulb goes off in his head "His brother…" He says wide eyed "His older brother went to Egypt for a year after high school."

"Where is his brother now?" Sam asks urgently.

"Uh…" Ethan thinks "He in town. He's on Reed St. next to the school. It's an old brick house, you can't miss it."

"Ok" Dean nods standing up and grabbing his coat off the back of the chair "Lets go check out the brother Sammy" He says taking one last bite of his sandwich and walking towards the living room.

"Wait" I say to Dean and look back at Sam "Why am I not going?" A mixture of confusion and anger spread of across my face, as I look between Sam and Dean.

"Well" Dean smirks "If you bail on the hunt, you bail on the hunt. You took off and now you're off the case."

"What?!" I yell, outraged. It wasn't even my fault, Sam knew that. I needed to clear my head... now I am off the case.

Sam pulls me aside but I continue my angry glare at Dean until Sam pulls my arm to get my attention "Jenny, just stay here with Ethan. This thing is still out there and it might come after him. You need to keep him safe."

I glare at him questioningly "Is this your way of making me feel important without giving me any real responsibility?

"No. It's a way you can do your job." Sam says walking back to Dean "Be careful. Okay?" He says looking at me.

"I'll be fine." I say rudely and he gives me a look letting me know that he is gonna yell at me for that later before he turns and walks out the door with Dean.

"So" Ethan says turning to me "What are we going to do?" He asks and I shrug.

"We could watch TV." Ethan offers.

"Okay" I nod and he begins to walk towards the living room "Ethan wait!"

"What?" he asks turning around to me.

"Well, I have something for you." I say walking towards him.

"What?" He asks hopefully.

'This" I say as I slap him in the back of the head. "That's for whatever you were trying to pull with Sam and Dean." I say nonchalantly walking away.

I sit on the couch and turn on his TV. "You have any good movies?" I ask when he sits on the couch next to me.

"They're in the cabinet." He says pointing to the cabinet next to the plasma screen TV with one hand and rubbing the back of his head with his other hand. I place the remote in my hands on the couch and walk over to the movies, opening both of the cabinet doors.

"Whoa." I say staring at the collection of DVDs in astonishment "I think I'm in heaven." I say keeping my eyes on the movies.

"Well pick something good." He says on the couch.

I look through the DVDs in amazement. Which one should I pick? I look through the DVDs and come across The Exorcist. I smile as I take it out of the container and place it in the DVD player.

"What did you pick?" He asks as I walk towards the couch.

"Lets just say I picked two hours of soup barfing, head spinning, crucifix masturbating fun." I smile pressing the play button on the remote.

* * *

We were halfway through the movie and we were having a great time. We laughed at all the scary parts and constantly made fun of the special effects.

"Oh my god! How can this be so fake but still so terrifying?" I ask watching the girls head do a complete 360.

"Well that is the beauty of this movie." Ethan adds.

"True, very true." I chuckle. I watch the movie for a few more minutes before I get hungry "Do you have popcorn?"

"Oh yea" Ethan says turning to me "I'll go get it." He says getting up.

I watch him walk away before settling back into the movie. Even with my eyes on the screen I can't help but think of Ethan. 'If only' was a phrase that came to mind a lot. If only he didn't live so far away. If only I wasn't a hunter who travelled around constantly.

If only I didn't have a very protective Sam and Dean who would kick his ass if they found out.

I sigh and try to erase all thoughts of Ethan from my mind. I hear the microwave beep and soon after Ethan walks back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. "Here" He says sitting down on the couch and putting the popcorn in between us.

"Thanks" I say quickly as I take a few kernels in my hand and place them in my mouth, turning back to the TV screen. As we settle back into the movie it is defiantly more awkward. Thoughts of us together keep coming into my mind and I have to force them out. He must realize something is wrong because he hasn't made any jokes or any attempt to speak to me, but he keeps sending me glances every couple minutes.

I go to get more popcorn and keep my eyes on the TV. I place my hand into the bowl and feel my hand softly graze someone else's. I snap my head up and find Ethan's blue eyes staring into mine. Our eyes our immobile and I know that he feels exactly the same way about me as I do about him. My mind is racing but as his face moves towards mine they are all erased. He gently captures my lips with his and we share a slow passionate kiss. He pulls away slowly and looks up into my eyes.

"I…we can't" I say broken and hurt, but my eyes can't leave his.

I can see he is visibly saddened as he looks at me questioningly "What? But…I really like you Jenny and I might be crazy, but I kind of got the feeling you liked me too."

"I do" I say as tears build up in my eyes "Trust me I do, but this would never work out. I'm leaving tomorrow and we'll never see each other again."

"I like you Jenny. I've known you for only a day and I can't even explain how much I care about you. We can make this work." He says looking deep into my eyes.

I shake my head as tears fall down from my face "You deserve better than this Ethan" I try to hold together my composure "You deserve a girlfriend that will always be there for you, a girl that isn't…"

"Isn't what?"

"A complete mess" I say looking down pulling my hands away from his. I focus on my thumbs but look up when I feel Ethan's hand on my cheek, wiping away my tears.

"Jenny you're not a mess. You're perfect." He says looking into my eyes.

I am too stunned to speak. I look at him trying to come up with words, but I can't find any. Ethan looks disappointed thinking that I am turning him down and gets up to walk away. He makes it to the kitchen door before the words rise loudly in my throat.

"Ethan wait" I say standing up. He stops in his place and turns around looking at me hopefully.

"I want to be with you too." I say smiling as I wipe some tears from my cheeks. "I don't know what is gonna happen after tomorrow, but that doesn't matter. Were here know, and I want to be here with you."

He looks at me smiling and we share it for a moment before he walks over to me. He gets close enough to me and puts his hands on my cheeks, cupping my face.

"You're beautiful Jenny" he speaks quietly wiping the tears from my face, his nose grazing mine and his forehead resting on mine.

I smile before I bring my lips to his and give him a passionate kiss. He responds tenderly and massages my cheek with his thumb. Soon the kiss soon becomes more urgent. He slides his tongue across my bottom lip and I open my mouth giving him entrance. As our tongues dance we back up to the couch and fall back onto it.

He trails kiss down my neck and I moan as he trails my collarbone. He comes back to my eye level and I grab the hem of his shirt, helping him pull it over his head. He discards the article of clothing onto the floor and returns to kissing my neck. I flip over on top of him and straddle his waist.

I sit up and grab my shirt, pulling it up over my head. I smile at Ethan and return to his lips, our tongues meeting again. We part for a moment and he rests his forehead against mine "You sure?" He asks out of breath. I look deep into his eyes and nod my head before he kisses me heavily running a hand through my hair. I bring my hands down his hard stomach and grab his belt buckle. I unhook it, pull down his zipper and pull off the belt. His hands go to my jeans and he unhooks the button, our lips never parting. He pulls down the zipper and starts to pull them down. They only make it to the middle of my hips when we hear the front door open and freeze.

I look up quickly and see the faces of two very pissed off Winchesters staring at me. "_Jenny?!_"

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Reviews are love!!!


	14. All These Things That I've Done

**Disclaimer:** Jenny is the only thing I own.

**Hey Guys! So sorry for the wait. But I have a gift for all you faithful readers and reviewers! I made a vid for the fic to help my writers block and I have it in my profile for your viewing pleasure. It was my first vid so I don't know how good it is, but it turned out better than I thought it would. However my expectations were pretty low to begin with. lol. Thank you so much for all your reviews!**

**Thanks again to Jade! You're amazing!**

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**All These Things that I've Done**

Oh God. I stare at their faces. Dean's is filled with anger and rage, but Sam's is filled with sadness and confusion. Staring into their eyes like a deer in the headlights I try to swallow the lump now formed in my throat. Looking down, I notice that I am still on top of Ethan. I quickly jump off the couch and Ethan stands up looking intimidated by Dean's evil glare. I look around for my shirt but when I see Dean marching towards me I quickly cross my arms over my chest, trying to cover as much of my skin as I can.

"What the hell?!" Dean yells. 'What is going on?"

I jump back startled and try to explain myself "We were just kissing" My voice is quiet and I am silently praying that he will believe me.

Dean gives me a look calling my bluff and he motions to my clothes…or lack there of "Really?"

I lower my head and look at my current state. I have no shirt on and the only thing covering my chest is my blue polka-dot bra. My jeans are undone and the top of my matching panties can be seen. I inwardly cringe at the situation before I zip and button my jeans.

"Listen man, it's not…." Ethan starts but is cut off by Dean.

"I really don't want to hear from you right now!" Dean bites out pissed, almost as a warning.

"We didn't do anything!" Ethan yells defensively. Bad move. No one talks back to Dean. I glance worriedly over at Ethan for the first time since Sam and Dean had arrived. He looks flustered but stands his ground, looking straight at Dean.

"I told you to shut up!" Dean shouts with so much anger that chills are sent down my spine.

I jump back scared and tears start to build up in my eyes. I look down trying to not let it show but Sam must have known. It's like he has some sort of beeper that goes off when I'm sad. I look up to see him finally move from his position by the door and walk behind the couch. I wonder where he is going but understand when I see him bend down and come up with my shirt. He walks over to me with little expression on his face, but I can see his hurt and anger.

"Come on, we have to talk." He says handing me the shirt and leading me out of the room quietly. I nod but before we are out of sight I turn and give Dean a sad pleading look, hoping that he won't be an ass to Ethan.

We walk down the hallway and come to an empty guestroom. Sam walks in and I follow him placing the shirt back over my head.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" I ask quietly, looking down at my arms crossed over my chest.

"I'm not mad" Sam sighs "I'm just disappointed. You know better than this. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." I shake my head trying to brush off the topic "Do we have to talk about this?" I look up pleadingly.

"You're fifteen and having sex" he looks at me deadpan "Of course we have to talk about it."

"Wait" I stop him "Who says that I am having sex?"

A questioning expression comes over his face "Well I just walked…"

"Yeah, I know what you just saw, but that doesn't mean I'm having sex."

"So you've never had sex, but you were gonna sleep with someone you've known for a grand total of twenty four hours." I could swear I saw a little bit of disgust come across his face.

I look back down ashamed and wrap my arms around my body; almost trying to protect myself from his imminent reaction "I guess" My shoulders shrug. Why do I have to be so stupid? It was just a moment of lust with Ethan, now look what it has become.

I wait for his reaction. I wait for the screaming or the banging, but I hear nothing. I look up and Sam looks like he has just gotten the wind knocked out of him. He backs up to the bed, with his eyes glued to a spot on the ground. He sits on the bed trying to process the information.

"Sam…" I say quietly, hoping he will respond to me.

"What am I going to do?" He asks lost.

"What?" My voice raises only a little and I walk closer to him trying to hear him better.

"I've helped raise you for about two years. I helped with homework, carpooling and been there for you when you're hurt, physically and emotionally. But I don't know how to deal with things like this. Jess was always there for the girl stuff. I don't know what I'm doing." He sounds so broken and confused as he stares down at his hands, picking subconsciously at his fingernails.

I sigh as I bite my lip to hold back the tears forming. I need to be strong right now. Sam needs me. I walk over to the bed and sit down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You're right Sam" I say and he looks at me quizzically "You always have been there for me…and you always will be." He glances up at me and I give him a reassuring smile "And when I do stupid things, like almost lose my virginity to some guy I barely know, you'll be there to tell me what an idiot I was being." I smirk at the end and give him a slight shove, successfully trying to make him chuckle.

"You know if I didn't know any better I would think you were the adult." Sam smiles shoving me back.

"I get that a lot." I smile arrogantly.

"Seriously Jen" He says staring into my eyes "You're a smart girl. You just have to remember that sometimes."

I smile up at him "And you thought you didn't know what to do." I say teasingly. "Like I said, you're gonna do fine."

He shrugs his shoulders "I guess we'll see."

"So does this mean I'm off the hook for what happened?" I ask with a hopeful smile.

"No way, kid." He shakes his head "When we get back home I'll give you your punishment."

"I figured." I shrug disappointed. "Can I at least help out with the rest of the hunt?"

"Well you could if the hunt wasn't over." He says almost letting me down easy.

"What?"

"Turns out his brother used some sort of Egyptian mythology to bring him back. We went to see him and convinced him to reverse it." He explained.

"Ohhhh" I sigh let down. I feel so bad. This whole time I have been begging Sam and Dean to teach me to hunt and when it comes down to it I flake out. "I'm sorry I bailed on the hunt." I say, feeling guilty.

"I know" He nods "Just don't let it happen again."

I nod and he wraps me in a hug and I rest my head against his chest "Hey Sam" I tilt my head so I can meet his eyes.

"Yeah" He looks down at me.

"I know you said I shouldn't get involved with people on hunts, but the hunt is over so can I keep in touch with Ethan?"

He pulls back and looks at me skeptically "Why?"

"Because he's nice and I like him." I say simply.

"I don't know."

"Please" I beg pulling on his arm "Pretty Please"

He looks torn but I know that I have gotten to him "Dean isn't going to like this" he says.

"Thank you, Thank you!" I jump giving him a huge hug that almost causes him to fall over.

"Yea, well we better get back out there before Dean kills your boyfriend." He says getting up and holding out his hand for me to take.

"He's not my boyfriend" I warn taking his hand.

* * *

We have been in the car for about two hours and Sam is sleeping in the passenger seat. I am laying down in the backseat staring at Ethan's name in the contact list of my cell phone. The light from the phone cuts through the darkness of the night. I space out thinking of the feeling I got as his lips brushed against mine, the tingling and natural high that came over me. I am lost in the thought when I hear the radio come on. I look up and see Dean playing with the switches. I smile sitting up and resting my head on the back of the front seat.

"Anything good on?" I ask before letting out a yawn.

He looks back at me "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. You should go back to sleep." He reaches to turn down the volume.

"Don't" I say placing a hand on his arm "I wasn't sleeping, just thinking."

He nods moving his hand back to the steering wheel. I keep my head rested on the seat and close my eyes as the music from the radio soothes my mind.

"I love this song" I say softly, listening to _Paint it Black_ by The Rolling Stones come through the speakers.

Dean nods "Yeah, it's a good song." He looks back at me "I wish Sam had good taste in music like you."

"Sam has good taste in music." I say.

"But I thought you liked…" Dean motions to the radio.

"I do. So what? I can't like both." I give him a testing look.

"No, you can" he says "People just usually don't."

"Yeah, well I hate being usual"

Dean looks back at me smiling "Mission accomplished."

I smirk as I sit back in my seat and lie down on my back with my head resting on the pillow I have against the car door. I am looking up at the roof of the impala and my mind goes through all of today's events. I remember the nausea, the kissing, the fighting, the making up and the packing. I still feel bad about how I left in the middle of a hunt. I know Sam forgives me, but I can't keep from wondering if Dean is mad at me for it. I wanted to apologize for it so many times today, but I always chickened out. I might as well tell him now. I can get it off my chest and then I can just say I'm tired and go to sleep. I debate it in my head for almost ten minutes when I finally decide to speak.

"Hey Dean" I say playing with my hands that are resting on my stomach.

"Yeah" He glances back at me.

"I'm sorry about what happened on the hunt" It sounds rushed and awkward, but I know that he understood me.

He looks back at me smiling "It was your first hunt, don't worry about it." He places a hand on my knee reassuringly.

His attention is soon back on the road and I couldn't be more confused "Hold up." I sit up "You're not mad about it?"

"No. Why would I be?" He now looks confused.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that I begged you to teach me to hunt and you spent so much time training me." I am looking at him like he should be catching on but he isn't and I am feeling worse about it as I keep speaking.

"Listen, you messed up. I know that and you know that. But I also know that you're not gonna let it happen again." He looks back at me quickly before returning his eyes back to the road.

A feeling washes over me and I can't help but smile. Even after the past month or so I still sometimes thought that Dean thought as me as a burden. I mean, since moving into the house unless we are joking around or training we don't really talk too much. And to hear that he believes that I will succeed and do well really means a lot to me.

As my smile grows I can't help but reach over the seat and give him a small peck on the cheek. I pull back and smile at the shocked look on his face.

"What was that for?" He asks surprised.

"For being a good friend" I say laying back down in the backseat. I start to drift to sleep but not before I catch the smile come across Dean's face.

* * *

I wake up to the Sam shaking my shoulder lightly. I squirm as I open my eyelids and let in the sun light. "Are we home?" I ask rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes.

"Almost" He says and I look around to see we are right down the street. We drive for another minute before we come to our house. As we pull in the driveway I almost jump seeing Charlie sitting on my porch and her car in the driveway.

"Calm down" Sam laughs as I jump out of the car right as it comes to a complete stop.

"Oh My God! I missed you so much!" I yell running to Charlie.

"I missed you to Jenny Bean!" She yells hugging me and using the nickname she gave me after finding out my favorite candy was Jelly Belly's.

We only embrace for a few moments before she pulls away "So how was your Grandma?" She asks and I smile at her biting my lip to keep from laughing at the lie.

"Oh she was good…old, but good."

"Well you missed so much while you were gone" She says grabbing my arms excitedly.

"What?" I ask desperate for gossip.

"Well" She starts with amusement already radiating off of her "on Friday at cheerleading practice Kaylee fell off the top of the pyramid and broke her ass!"

"Shut up!" I yell laughing "How do you break your ass?"

"Well she broke her tailbone" Charlie explains "But saying she broke her ass makes it so much funnier!"

"Totally!" I laugh when Sam and Dean come up with their bags. "You girls look like you're having fun." Sam says amused.

"How can you not when you're talking about public humiliation?" I ask smiling.

"Okay?" Sam says as he and Dean give us a weird look.

"Can Charlie stay for breakfast?" I ask Sam sticking out my bottom lip and looping my arm through Charlie's.

"Sure" He smiles "But you guys have to make it."

"Deal!" I smile running to the car with Charlie and getting my bag out of the car. After I throw the bag over my shoulder we skip like losers into the house arm and arm laughing.

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	15. Whiskey On The Rocks

**Discaimer: I own nothing, nada, zilch! **

**A/N: FLD (Becci) Was amazing enough to make artwork for the story. You can view it on my profile. It's my avatar but I also have a link. Thanks so much Bec! Luv ya twinie! hugs&&kisses**

**Much love and thanks to Jade for correcting my many mistakes! xoxo**

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**Whiskey On The Rocks**

I stand next to my bed and fold my cute black halter before place it in my duffel bag. I do the same with my favourite pair of faded jeans before putting in my huge makeup bag and then zipping up my duffel and throwing it over my shoulder. As I exit the room I turn off my IPod speakers and flip off my light switch.

"Sam!" I call walking down the stairs. I hear no response and when I turn into the living room I find it empty.

"_What the hell_" I mutter looking around the empty house.

Walking over to the window I look out to check for the car. I see Dean working on the impala and quirk my eyebrows in uncertainty before walking towards the door.

"Dean" I call impatiently, walking onto the porch. "Where's Sam?"

"There might be a hunt a few towns over. He went to check it out." He replies busily without removing his head from under the hood of his car.

"What? Why didn't you go with him?" I drop my duffel off my shoulder and onto the porch.

Dean removes his head from under the hood of the car and wipes a grease smudge from his forehead "It's probably nothing. He just wanted to make sure, so he is gonna ask around town."

I sigh in frustration, crossing my arms over my chest "Great"

"What's the big deal?" he asks puzzled.

"He was supposed to drive me over to Charlie's house. I'm staying over there tonight."

"Oh" He nods understandingly, rubbing the oil off of his hands with a dirty red cloth. "I'll give you a ride."

"Really?" I ask hopefully.

"Sure" he nods "Just give me a few minutes." he motions to the Impala.

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I strum my fingers self consciously on my knee as I quietly sing along to AC/DC. I interrupt my soft melody only when Dean asks me a question.

"Do you need a ride home tomorrow?"

My fingers continue their beat as I nod "Yea. Thanks."

"No problem" he mutters as he turns at an intersection. "What are you guys gonna do tonight?"

"I don't know" I shrug my shoulders "Probably just watch TV." I smile and try to be convincing. If Dean knows what we are really planning on doing he'll make sure I'm grounded until I turn eighteen.

Dean nods accepting my answer and I can't help but smile in success. A week ago Charlie called me and asked me if I wanted to sleep over while her mom is out of town. We thought that it would be fun to celebrate the beginning of winter break from school. However our simple sleepover soon changed when a few guys from school asked us if we wanted to meet them at a local bar. Fake ideas were made and lies were told, but seriously after the past couple months I've had I deserve some time to unwind.

Dean continues to glance at me curiously as I daze off thinking of how much fun I was gonna have tonight. Before he gets too inquisitive I decided to start a new subject.

"So what are you doing with the house to yourself tonight?"

"Oh" He starts and I can see the wheels turning in his brain, looking for a good cover "Probably just gonna have a beer and watch TV."

"Yeah, Sure" I laugh, nodding my head "But if you bring a girl home make sure she stays outta my room."

"That was one time!" He exclaims defensively.

"Yes. And she took off with my favourite perfume."

"I know. You mention it every five seconds." He mutters frustrated and I can't help but giggle.

"Oh, shut up." He mumbles and I only giggle harder.

"I'm sorry" I say trying to stop my laughter "I know you didn't mean for street-corner Barbie to be a thief."

"Ugh. Just get out." He groans as he pulls up in front of Charlie's house.

"Okay." I giggle as I grab my duffel and throw it around my shoulder before climbing out of the seat and slamming the door behind me.

"Have fun" I smile mockingly and wave to him before turning around and walking to Charlie's front door.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"What do you think?" I ask stepping out of the bathroom and into Charlie's room. I hold my hands up and do a spin so she can get a full view of my outfit. I was wearing my favorite pair of faded low cut jeans, a low cut black halter top and dangerously high heels.

"I love it!" Charlie exclaims "Now what about me?" She asks stepping back so I can examine her outfit. She had on blue jeans and a white tube top.

"Perfect" I smile before moving to my bag and taking out my make up.

We are both standing in front of her mirror and applying our makeup. Nothing too crazy, I don't want to look like one the girls Dean stumbles through the door with every weekend. Seriously... that man is such a whore.

"So how is everything going with Ethan?" Charlie asks.

"Fine" I shrug, battering my newly voluptuous eyelashes in the mirror. "We still just want to be friends."

"But you are crazy about him!" She exclaims, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"I know. But neither of us wants to be in a long distance relationship. It's just too much work." I explain as I apply a small amount of bronzer to my cheeks.

"You're crazy girl." She sighs finishing up with her make up.

I chuckle as I place my heart necklace around my neck and my dangly silver earrings in my ears. I place my make up back in its bag when my cell phone starts to ring.

"Crap" I mutter, walking over to my phone that has the name _SAM _flashing across the screen. I take a deep breath before flipping open the phone and putting it to my ear.

"Hello?" I ask, trying to sound inconspicuous. Just stay cool, I repeat like a mantra in my head.

"Hey Jen, It's me."

"Hey! Where are you?" I ask sitting down on Charlie's bed.

"I'm in Fairfield. Didn't Dean tell you?"

"He mentioned something about it. Very vaguely" I sigh.

"Right, well I just wanted to check in. What are you up to?" he asks curiously.

"I'm at Charlie's house." I say with a slight amount of attitude. He is so clueless. How could he forget he was taking me the Charlie's tonight? I had been reminding every two seconds this week.

"Charlie's…Wh…Oh Jenny I'm so sorry. I was supposed to bring you over their today." I can hear the regret in his voice and I know that he didn't mean to do it.

"It's okay. Dean gave me a ride." I explain, sitting down on Charlie's bed.

"I'm so sorry Jenny. I left so fast I completely forgot."

"Yeah, I know. You never even told me you were leaving." I say slightly frustrated. I understand that he forgot about driving me to Charlie's. I hadn't mentioned it to him in a few days, but I was still pissed that he left without telling me.

"Yeah, about that, I was gonna say goodbye but when I went to leave you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you."

"You could have woken me up." I say annoyed.

"I'm sorry. But I won't be gone long, I promise." He is trying so hard for me not to be mad at him. I can practically see the puppy dog Sam face and can't stand to be mad at him anymore.

"Just get back soon." I smile "Because if you're not here Dean is gonna expect me to take care of the cooking and cleaning."

"Don't worry" he laughs "I should be back tomorrow."

"Good" I smile and Charlie walks by, motioning for me to get off the phone.

"Listen Sam, I got to go. Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, have fun. Love you."

"Love you too." I respond before hanging up, smiling at the phone as I hold it in my hands.

"What?" I ask Charlie before standing up.

"Josh just called and he and Kevin are waiting for us at the bar." She smiles grabbing our purses "Let's get going" She hands my purse to me and pushes me towards the door in a hurry.

* * *

"Do you see them?" Charlie asks scanning the bar.

"Uh…Oh they're over at the pool table." I say pointing towards the boys. As we walk over I can't help but notice that Josh is looking incredibly sexy tonight. He has on a green Abercrombie T-shirt that is just tight enough to accentuate his tanned and toned arms. And his shaggy brown hair has just the right amount of untidiness.

"Up for a game of pool?" I ask smiling, leaning against the pool table in front of Josh as I get into flirting mode. Josh smiles at me and it takes all of my strength not to melt on the spot. I have had a crush on him since Charlie had introduced him to me to him a month ago. Charlie has wanted to set us up and she finally convinced Josh to bring his friend Kevin, who she had a thing for.

"Sure, I'll get us some beers." He smiles, looking me up and down "Want to come?"

"Sure" I nod and follow after him, but not before a give Charlie a smile expressing my giddiness.

"Four beers" He tells the bartender, holding up four fingers.

The bartender looks at both of us quizzically "I need to see some ID."

Josh chuckles like he is flattered to be asked "Here you go" He pushes the fake ID across the bar. The bartender seems to accept it and turns around grabbing four beers and placing them in front of us. Does everyone have a fake ID? I mean, when I lived in Stanford it didn't even occur to me that I could use one. I felt a pang in my chest as I thought back to days with Jess. I shook it off and looked around the bar. This is my life now.

"Thanks" I smile as Josh places the money on the bar and we walk back to the pool table, each holding two bottles.

"So what are the teams?" I ask handing Charlie her beer and grabbing a que "Guys against girls?"

"I don't think that would be fair to you guys." Kevin says condescendingly only causing me to laugh. I had only learned to play pool from the best. It was Dean's genius idea to use my age to my advantage. I mean, what drunken trucker expects to get their ass kicked by a fifteen year old girl?

"I think we'll manage." I smile, taking a drink of my beer.

* * *

"And we win…again!" I smile picking up a shot of whiskey "We so kick ass a pool." I hold up my shot glass to Charlie who does the same. We try to clink them together but our glasses keep missing each others. We shrug before downing our glasses. It is my fifth shot and I am starting to feel the effect.

"They shouldn't even try anymore." Charlie laughs towards a surprised Josh and Kevin.

"Up for another round?" I ask walking over to Josh, shaking my hips ever so slightly.

"I think I'm good." He chuckles, trying not to show his embarrassment. "How about another beer?"

"I'm in! How about you Char…." I trail off when I turn around and see Kevin and Charlie going at it in the corner.

"I think she's good." I laugh before turning back to Josh and walking towards the bar. My walking is slightly swayed so Josh puts his arm around me to steady me.

After we get the beers he leads me back to the pool table. When we get there we see a group of collage students have taken over our spot as the bar starts to get more crowded.

"Come on." He whispers in my ear with a smile, leading me away. I nod following him, drinking my beer as we walk and stopping when we get to a secluded hall leading to the bathrooms.

"What are we…?" I am silenced when Josh places his lips on mine forcefully, pushing me against the wall.

I smile into his lips and give into the lustful kiss. There is nothing passionate or gentle about it, but I don't care. I feel so carefree and wild, like I have no worries in the world. Josh thrusts his tongue in my mouth as he grabs onto my hair tightly. I cup my free hand around his neck firmly and he moves a hand down to my bottom. He grabs my butt and pulls it towards him forcefully, closing any remaining space between us.

"You're so sexy." He mutters.

"Why are you talking?" I ask annoyed, attacking him with my lips and I can feel him smile against them.

* * *

Twenty minutes later we emerge from the hallway, clothes messy and my makeup smudged. I look for Charlie and Kevin in the corner but am surprised that they are nowhere in sight.

"Where did they go?"

"I don't know." Josh looks around the bar. We start to search when we hear yelling.

"What the hell is your problem bitch?!" I turn and see some girl yelling at Charlie. She appears to be about twenty and is wearing a short black skirt and a low cut pink top, showing off her obviously fake boobs. And her tan is so orange that it makes me want to cringe, especially mixed with her phony blond hair. Charlie looks scared as the girl's friends huddle around her threateningly and Kevin is nowhere in sight.

"Oh shit!" Josh exclaims.

"What?" I ask as we make our way through the crowd to Charlie.

"That's Kevin's girlfriend, Missy." He says and I pause, looking at him shocked before we both quicken our pace.

We try to push are way through the crowd, but there are too many people to see through. When we finally make our way to where Charlie and Missy were standing they are gone.

"Shit!" I yell, looking around the crowded bar helplessly.

"Come on. Let's look around." Josh says grabbing me by the arm to lead me around.

We shove through the crowd, constantly asking if anyone has seen a small girl with dark hair.

"I'll go look in the bathrooms." Josh offers, quickly turning in the direction of the hallway we were making out in only ten minutes ago.

What if I can't find her? My nervousness is mixing with my alcohol and if I don't find her soon I might have a nervous breakdown. I walk around the bar again. My eyes glance all around but they immediately halt when I see Missy and her friends through the window. They are running from behind the bar towards a red corvette. I don't even wait for them to speed off before running out of the bar.

I walk around the bar, my heels sinking slightly in the dusty dirt ground. As I walk quickly along the side I hear a groan. I pause for a second then break out in a sprint. As I turn the corner my stomach drops at what my eyes see. Charlie is leaning against the dumpster, her shirt ripped and bloodied. Her face is covered in bruises and blood is coming from her nose and lip.

"Oh god" I let out a ragged breath and go immediately to her side.

"Charlie. Charlie, Can you hear me?" I ask grabbing her face and trying to get her to look at me. Her dazed eyes slowly make their way to me, but she is too tired to make an expression. She tries to form words but it comes out as a painful groan.

"It's okay. You're gonna be okay." I say wiping away her tears and ignoring mine.

I take a deep breath and take a step back. I realize that we need to get out of here. I take my cell phone out of my pocket and struggle to press the right buttons, my hands are shaking so badly. It rings ten times before I hear Josh's voicemail.

"Come on! Pick Up!" I yell redialling the number. I call two more times before giving up.

"Shit!" Looking back at Charlie, she is lying there broken and hurt. I don't want to get grounded but, I have to get her out of here. I throw away my concern of getting in trouble and hit my speed dial button. It only rings twice before someone picks up.

"Hello."

"Dean!" I practically yell through my tears.

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun!**

**Review??**


	16. The Worst Hangover Ever

**A/N: I am so sorry about the wait. I had some major internet issues. It was off for like two weeks then finally my nice cousin came to fix it. It was back on for about a grand total of one day before shutting off again. I got it back tonight though and had a lovely suprise waiting for me from my lovely beta Jade. Thanks so much Jadexoxo. And thanks to you all for being so patient. I really hope this chapter was worth the wait for you! HUGS&&KISSES**

* * *

**The Worst Hangover Ever**

"Jenny?" Dean asks growing serious "What's wrong?"

"It's Charlie…We're at a bar and some girls beat her up. It's really bad Dean!" I cry.

"What?" he asks loudly. I can tell that he understood me but just needed to take it in. "Is she conscious?"

"Yea, I guess. But she is hurt really bad. I don't know what to do!"

"Okay, Jenny you have to calm down. What bar are you at?" He asks.

"Uhh…Mulligan's Pub" With all of the commotion I almost forgot the name of the bar Charlie and I have been talking about all week.

"Okay. You stay with Charlie. I'll be there in five minutes." I can hear the Impala roar to life through the phone.

"Okay. Thanks." I say snapping my phone shut. I walk back towards Charlie and sit next to her. I lift up my arm and place it around her, pulling her towards me. I can't believe this happened to us. I suppose it's karma. We lied to our families and fate insures we get punished.

"You're gonna be okay, Charlie. You're gonna be okay." I repeat, brushing my hand through her messy hair, matted with blood.

I lay her down so her head is resting on my lap. My fingers run over her face, trying to see her bruises clearly through the darkness. My finger caresses her cheekbone, causing her to cry out severely in pain. Like a reflex, my body clinches hearing the hurt in her voice.

As I sit waiting for Dean, holding Charlie in my arms, I can't help but cry helplessly. I should have been watching her. I shouldn't have left her alone. What kind of friend leaves someone alone in a bar with a guy?

After what feels like hours I hear the familiar sound of the Impala pull into the parking lot. Carefully lifting up Charlie's head, I lean her against the dumpster.

"I'll be right back with help." I say not even sure if she can hear me.

I run desperately for the parking lot and see Dean looking around helplessly.

"Dean!" I cry running towards him and he looks up at me stunned. I reach him and grab his arms "Dean, come on! She's back here!"

Pulling Dean with me, we reach the back of the bar where Charlie is in the exact same position I left her in.

"Jesus." Dean mutters running over to her "Who did this?" He asks, inspecting her cuts.

"There was this guy…" I start, trying to stop my tears so my speech is audible.

"A guy did this!" He asks pissed.

"No! She was making out with this guy, Kevin, and his girlfriend showed up. She and a group of her friends did this."

Dean sighs upset but turns back to Charlie and examines her face gingerly. "Charlie can you hear me?" He asks loudly.

"Come on. Talk to me." He encourages tapping her face lightly.

"Ughhh" Charlie moans squirming. "m' tired" Is all she manages to get out.

"I know, but you gotta stay awake, okay? Charlie, where does it hurt?" He demands softly.

"Face" She says softly, her eyes closing.

"What about your head, does your head hurt?" Dean asks and Charlie shakes her head in response.

"Is she gonna be okay?" I ask nervously.

"Yeah. I think she should be fine." Dean starts as he places a hand on Charlie's back and one under her knees to pick her up "We just need to get her home." He lifts her up, careful of her bruises, and starts to walk to the car with a quickened pace.

"But her mom…" I start following Dean.

"I know you don't want to get Charlie in trouble, but she needs to go home." Dean explains as he motions for me to open the car door since his hands are full. I open the door for him before speaking.

"No it's not that." I mentally prepare for his reaction as Dean places Charlie in the car "Her mom's not home." I speak softly looking down at my hands which are holding the car door open.

"What?" He asks harshly. Oh I have really done it now. I can tell by his voice.

"I'm sorry" I say delicately, still not looking up.

I hear Dean sigh heavily "Get in the car" He bites out opening the passenger door, waiting for me to get in.

I close the back door and get into the passenger seat before Dean slams the door and makes his way around to the driver's side with a scowl on his face. I feel even worse looking at his disappointment so I turn to the window, silently crying as we exit the parking lot.

* * *

"Can I do anything?" I ask Dean as he comes into Sam's room with an ice pack and makes his way to Charlie who is sleeping on the bed.

"Yea, go to sleep." He doesn't even bother to look at me as he gingerly places the ice on Charlie's cheek.

"Dean…" I try to apologize but he won't let me.

"Just go to sleep Jen. We'll talk tomorrow, when you're sober." I can hear the frustration growing in his voice.

"But Charlie is…"

"I'll take care of her." He bites, starting to lose patience "Now go!"

I feel the lump now forming in my throat. Dean has raised his voice slightly to me before, but I have never heard him this disappointed and angry at me. I've gotten it from Sam but Dean has always been the fun one to hang out with, the one who I joke with and play pranks on Sam with. Hearing him like this caused tears to rise up in my throat because I caused him to be like this.

"Fine" I mutter, leaving before my tears spill over.

I walk quickly, passing my room and making my way down the stairs, my hands begin to tremble as I use all of my strength to calm my tears. There is no possible way that I could fall asleep with all of my thoughts and fears floating around in my head, so I walk to the living room, my legs like jello, before collapsing onto the couch.

I clutch my knees to my chest, lying on my side. Charlie got hurt and it is all my fault. All I cared about was having fun and being wild and now she is upstairs, barely conscious. Why couldn't I have stayed with her? Why did I have to go off with Josh? It doesn't even matter because I did and I can never change what happened to her.

And now Dean is mad at me too. After all of the great things he has done for me, that is the last thing I want to do. He not only stepped up as my trainer when I wanted to hunt, but also as a friend and sometimes I find myself wanting to say brother. We mostly joke around, but sometimes, only once or twice, I have seen his wall break down slightly around me. And when he does that I truly feel like he trusts me. And now I don't know if he will ever trust me again.

My back heaves and I sob, holding onto my legs for dear life. I hear someone walking down the stairs and quickly wipe my tears and let go of my knees, but I am still curled up in a ball.

The steps grow closer and I tilt my head up slightly to see Dean looking down at me curiously.

"I thought I told you to go to bed." He says, but I know he isn't being serious or mean.

"I couldn't sleep." I shake my head, sniffling.

He nods his head understandingly as he sits on the couch at the end of my feet. I tilt my head up and look at him cautiously, I mean ten minutes ago he was about to bite my head off…and for good reason.

"You know you're gonna have to be punished." He states. There is no way it could be mistaken for a question.

"Yes." I hiccup, wiping away more tears that fell from my eyes onto the bridge of my nose.

He nods, before looking away from my tear stained face. If Dean has one weakness it has to be me crying. I don't know if he doesn't like seeing me hurt or he is just too uncomfortable with the emotions. Maybe it's a bit of both.

We lay there for almost thirty minutes when I start to doze off to sleep...well actually passing out would be the appropriately term. When things start to calm down my buzz sets back in. I figured it wouldn't be noticeable since I was floating into unconsciousness, but that would just be way too easy for me. Of course something has to go wrong.

As my eyelids drupe down further I get a feeling, like I am about to burp. However when my stomach turns on me I realize that a burp isn't what's coming up. My eyes shoot open as much as possible as I jump off the couch, accidently kicking Dean and waking him up in the process. As the bile rises in my throat I know that I can't make it to the bathroom, so I run to the small trashcan in the corner of the living room, next to Sam's desk. I drop to my knees with a thud, grapping the basket and emptying my stomach into it.

"You okay?" Dean soothes, dropping down next to me. He places a hand on my back, rubbing small circles.

"Ughhh" I moan, not having the strength to say '_What the hell do you think?_'

My stomach heaves and I empty more of my stomach's contents into the trash with such force that it feels as if my heart is about to burst out of my chest. I let out a painful cry and a tear makes its way down my cheek and into the basket with my expelled insides. I have nothing left to throw up, but my breathing is still erratic from the pain and stress.

"It's okay. Just breathe." Dean soothes while I have trouble catching my breath. He rubs my back steadily, slowing down my gasps for air. My breathing slows to a comfortable rate and I fall back onto Dean's chest in exhaustion. He rubs my arm gently and wipes the tears from my cheeks.

"You think you're done?" He asks softly, looking down at me and I nod into his chest, my eyes closed from fatigue.

"Okay, let's get you upstairs." He says getting his stance on the ground and repositioning me in his arms so he can pick me up. He stands with one arm under my knees and one under my back. I grasp his shirt, frightened of the movement and roll my head into his chest. My eyes begin to drupe again, but I before I drift into unconsciousness I get a large whiff of Dean's scent, the surprisingly comforting mix of car oil, beer, and his cologne.

* * *

I wake up, sniffing the smell of bacon that has made its way all the way up the stairs and to my room. Normally this would be like heaven, but this morning the smell makes my stomach do flips. I feel my stomach begin to heave and prance out of bed, going straight to the bathroom.

After ejecting everything from my stomach I slowly stand up as I tear off a few pieces of toilet paper from the roll. I wipe my mouth before throw the paper in the toilet and flushing it down.

The nauseous feeling in my stomach settles as I brush my teeth, scrubbing my tongue frantically to get the acidic taste out of my mouth. I spit into my sink and grab a handful of water. Bringing it to my lips I swish it in my mouth thoroughly before spitting it back into the sink.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I walk out of the bathroom and through my room. I walk down the doorway towards Sam's room and stop, leaning against the doorframe.

Charlie is lying on the bed in a still slumber. Her bruises are fully formed and she has two butterfly bandages placed on the cut above her eyebrow. Her lip has swelled up and the bruise has almost a greenish tint. Her appearance is almost sickening, but the steady rising and falling of her chest gives me peace.

I back into the hallway, deciding to give her some peace and quiet. I place my hand on the railing as I walk down the stairs and the aroma of bacon grows by the second. My calmed stomach is a little less put off by the smell, but it still isn't very pleasing.

"G'morning" I offer to Dean as I walk to the counter and plop into a seat, tired evident in my stance.

"Morning" Dean says busily as he turns the bacon in the skillet, causing it to sizzle louder. He grabs a plate from the cabinet and comes back to the food, placing two pancakes and some bacon on my plate. He puts it down in front of me along with a bottle of syrup and a fork.

"Eat up."

"No thanks." I mutter pushing back towards him, not wanting to test my gag reflex.

He looks at me concerned "You need to eat something."

"Unless you want to see the bacon in reverse I suggest you don't make me eat it." I push it further towards him stubbornly.

"Fine, don't eat the bacon. But at least have some pancakes. You need to get something in your stomach." He says removing the bacon from the plate and holding the plate of pancakes in front of my nose, for me to take a whiff.

"Fine" I sigh reluctantly as I realize his stubbornness can outlast mine.

I decide against adding syrup, not wanting to displease my stomach. I cut off a small piece of a pancake and put it in my mouth before quickly chewing and swallowing it.

"Happy?" I ask with a fake smile.

"Delighted" He replies with the same smile "Almost as delighted as you're gonna be when I give you your punishment."

"Funny." I say deadpanned "You can't punish me. That's Sam's job."

"Really? Because I just talked to Sam and he seems to disagree." His smirk makes me want to jump over the counter and slap him silly.

"You talked to Sam?" I ask dreading the nod that Dean soon gives me.

"Yep" He really doesn't want to get rid of his smirk.

"What? Why would you do that?" I yell fearfully.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe it was because I had to come and pick you and your friend up at a bar last night!" He says starting to raise his voice also.

I let out a sigh, giving up. I might be a stubborn teenager, but even I know how bad I messed up last night. "You're right. I'm sorry." As Dean sees my anger lessen he follows suit, unclenching his jaw.

"So what's my punishment?" I ask, just wanting to get it over with.

"For starters," He begins turning off the stove and walking around the counter, sitting down next to me. "No hunting for three weeks."

"Three weeks?" I whine unhappily.

"Want to make it a month?" He raises his eyebrows threateningly. I know I should shut up... but three weeks. That is so long.

"Jesus. When did you become Mr. Mom?" I mutter, earning me a death glare from Dean.

"Sorry. Go ahead." I mumble slightly intimidated, looking down at my pancakes.

"And second, you aren't going to leave this house at all for two weeks. You got to school and come back home. That's it." He stays sternly holding a finger up to my face. "You got it?"

"Yes Sir." I sigh.

Dean nods acceptingly before grabbing a plate of pancakes across the counter and bringing them in front of himself. He licks his lips longingly as he pours the syrup onto the pancakes, and as soon as he has enough for his liking he begins to devour them. He is eating huge mouthfuls at a time and I look down awkwardly at my pancakes with I have no intention of eating.

"Dean" I say quietly, looking down as I nudge my pancakes with my fork.

I glance up out of the corner of my eye and see Dean looking back at me questioningly as he tries to finish swallowing all the food in his mouth.

"Yeah" He says wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"I'm really sorry…about everything." I can hear my voice get slightly choked up, but no tears have fall from my eyes. "And I can never thank you enough for what you did for Charlie last night…" Dean watches me with his lips pursed "and for me too. It really means a lot."

"No problem, Kid." Dean smiles at me reassuringly. "Just do me a favor." He begs "Promise you won't do it again."

"Deal" I laugh as I stick out my hand, which he shakes strongly.

He gives me a final smile before turning back to his food. "Eat up" He says nudging to my plate of pancakes that have been partially mutilated by my fork. I think of opposing, but decide to just comply with him. I break off a small piece with my fork and dip it into a small pool of syrup before placing it into my mouth.

"So when is Sam going to be back?" I ask wiping a small amount of syrup off the corner off my mouth.

"He's coming back this afternoon." Dean states as he takes a drink and places his glass of orange juice down on the counter before turning quickly back to the food.

"Can't wait" I mutter to myself sarcastically, not looking forward to the yelling which is sure to come.

* * *

"You sure that you're okay?" I ask getting Charlie comfortable on the couch. She is sitting with a big bowl of chocolate chip ice cream in her lap and watching old reruns of _Friends_. After she woke up I helped her get changed into one of Sam's big Stanford shirts and a pair of my pajama pants. I decided to make her comfortable downstairs while we waited for Dean to get back with the Tylenol I sent him for, not wanting Charlie to wake up in pain.

"Yeah" She smiles half heartedly "I just feel really stupid."

"Well, if you need to talk…" I start sitting on the comfy chair with my ice cream.

"Come to you. I know. I just don't feel like talking about it right now." She shrugs. "But thanks Jenny Bean."

"You're never gonna stop calling me that, are you?" I ask squinting my eyes, questioningly.

"Hell no." She shakes her head, laughing.

We dig into our ice cream watching the show and we make it to the second episode before Dean comes in with a grocery bag in each hand.

"Look whose up." He says walking over and sitting on the coffee table in front of Charlie.

"I brought you some Tylenol." He places the grocery bags behind him as he inspects the bruises on Charlie's face "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got the crap kicked out of me." She replies sarcastically.

"Funny" Dean mutters "But how's the pain?"

"Well my ribs hurt and all the bruises on my face are sore, but that's normal, right?"

'Yeah, I just want to make sure you didn't break your rib." He replies standing up and taking off his jacket.

"I'm gonna need to take a look." Dean says as he sits down next to Charlie on the couch.

"Fine" Charlie sighs, not excited about being poked at.

"Uhh…do you mind?" Dean asks awkwardly motioning to her shirt. He looks uncomfortable asking a sixteen year old girl to lift up her shirt.

"Oh, right." She murmurs lifting up her shirt to expose her purple bruises that have a green tinge on the edges.

Dean winces at its appearance causing Charlie to look away to the other side of the room embarrassed. He lifts his hand up to the bruise and touches it gently, causing Charlie to gasp in pain.

"I'll go get you some water to the Tylenol." I say quickly running to the kitchen and grabbing a glass out of the cabinet. I bring it to the sink and fill it halfway with water, turn around and walk back to the living room. I stop at the entrance watching Dean tend to Charlie.

"Ahh" She bites her lip to stop her cry.

"I'm almost done." Dean soothes, bringing his calloused hands back to her skin he moves his hand along the rib in question. Charlie bites down harder on her lip, letting out a small groan.

"All done" Dean says grabbing the hem of her shirt and placing it back where it belongs "You have one nasty bruise, sweetheart."

"Is it broken?" Charlie asks fearfully.

"It's not broken." Dean shakes his head smiling.

Charlie takes in a deep breath of relief "Thank you!"

"I still want to wrap it." Dean stands up from the couch "Then after I do that I'm gonna have to call your mom and let her know what happened." He says before turning around and walking past me, upstairs.

"Just peachy."

* * *

"What did she say?" I ask Dean as he walks into the room, phone in hand.

"Well…" Dean starts.

"Was she pissed?" Charlie interrupts nervously from her spot next to me on the couch.

"That would be putting it nicely." Dean sighs, sitting down heavily in the lounger. He must have gotten an earful from Charlie's mom.

"What'd she say?" Charlie asks uneasily as I sit on the edge of my seat.

"Well…" Dean starts trying to figure out how to break it to her. I can tell that it is more serious than I had first suspected.

"What?" Charlie asks, wondering why Dean is taking so long to answer "Am I grounded forever? Is she on her way home right now to finish the job? What is it?"

"She was really mad. I mean _really _mad. But she's glad your okay." Dean says adding a smile, that I can tell is being used to cover something up "She tried talking to her boss, but can't get out of work so she wants you to stay here until she gets back."

"Really?" Charlie asks shocked, like she couldn't believe her mother reacted that way.

"Yea" Dean nods, not looking Charlie directly in the eye, letting me know that something is definitely up.

"This is great." I smile to Charlie before standing up and walking towards Dean "I'm going to go start dinner, so we can eat when Sam gets here. You want to help me?" I ask give him a look with my eyes, urging him to get in the kitchen.

"Uhhh…sure" He answers cautiously as he gets up, walking into the kitchen.

"What the hell was that about?" He asks, looking at me like I have six heads.

"Why don't you tell me?" I ask with my hands placed dominantly on my hips "Why were you lying to Charlie about her mom?"

"What are you talking about?" Dean shrugs cockily, like he has no idea what I am talking about.

"Don't you dare lie to me!" I whisper harshly, pointing a finger in his face.

"Fine." He holds his hands up in defence "Her mom basically could have cared less and yelled at me for wasting her time."

"What?" My eyes narrow "You can't be serious."

"I wish I wasn't. Have you ever met her mom before?"

"She works all the time, so I've only met her once." I reply, trying to think of the circumstances.

"And…" Dean persuades me to continue.

"And she was…kinda cold. She was hurrying out the door for work." I tilt my head to the side "Now that I think of it she didn't even say one word to me."

"That was defiantly the same women." Dean shivers thinking about her "I just…I can't believe she could treat Charlie like that." He shakes his head disappointed.

"I know. What a _bitch_!" I bite out.

* * *

"Here you go." I hand Charlie two Tylenol and a glass of water. It is past midnight and we were sleeping for two hours when she woke up in pain. Sam got home a several hours ago and took the liberty of giving both Charlie and I the _responsibility _speech. He was beyond mad, but cooled down after he saw the steak and mashed potato dinner we all made for him.

"Do you need anything else?" I ask climbing back into bed next to her as she swallows the pills.

"No I'm fine. I just was sleeping on my bruise." She replied sheepishly.

"God Charlie" I sigh exaggerating "What are we going to do with you?"

"I don't know? I think I'm hopeless." She pouts.

"That's for sure." I laugh causing her to smack my arm.

"Shut up" She laughs. We are both giggling when we hear a dull sound from down the hall, like someone moaning.

"What is that? Is someone hurt?" Charlie asks about to get up.

"No, don't worry. Dean's probably got his porn too loud again. I'll be right back." I mutter jumping off the bed, careful not to jolt Charlie and I walk towards the hallway.

I get to Dean's door and the sound is more distinct and is not coming from Dean's room at all, but further down the hall. I snap my head up towards Sam's room and look at the door curiously before walking towards it. I reach the door and open it slowly, sticking my head in through the crack.

Sam is in his bed, tossing and turning faintly in his sleep as he mutters words and moans painfully. I watch on too uneasy to enter his room. The moans become louder and I bite my lip anxiously, wondering if I should get Dean. Sam becomes more restless and I begin to feel more helpless, so I turn around to get Dean when Sam yells out one word.

"_Jessica_"

* * *

**Uh Oh! As you can see there is some maajor drama coming up! **

**But I was thinking of doing a lighter chapter sometime soon because it is all so angsty. lol. A little break from all the drama. Would you guys like that? Any suggestions of something fun to write about for Jenny and the boys?**


	17. Tell Me Soon

**A/N: Thanks so much to Becky Boo! This would not be possible without you! I love you so much twinnie!!!**

**Sorry for the wait everyone. It's been extremely hectic! But finals are next week and then I'm done with school! YAYY! So updates should be MUCH much more frequent. Thanks to all my readers/reviewers! Including Lindsch who alway leaves me a review but I can't reply to cus you don't have an account. Thank you so much for being a faithful reader and reviewer!!!**

**All of your reviews mean so much to me everyone! **

**HUGSS&&KISSES**

* * *

**Chapter 17 Tell Me Soon**

"This food is really great, guys." Dean mumbles to Charlie and me as he shovels the garlic chicken and roasted potatoes into his mouth.

"Yeah, you did a good job." Sam's speaking is much clearer.

"Thanks." Charlie and I say in unison, Charlie sounding much peppier than I do. Ever since Sam's dreams started a few nights ago I can't be around him with out feeling awkward. I want to ask him about the dreams that plague him nightly, I am dying to ask him about it, but I just can't form the words when I am around him. And it really pisses me off that he won't tell me about it. Charlie says he probably doesn't want to upset me, but he's the one who made me talk to him about how I felt about Jess. However he refuses to talk to me. What the hell?

"So What do you guys have planned for tonight?" Sam asks from across the table.

"I don't know" I shrug indifferently, looking down as I move my green beans around with my fork, "We'll probably just watch a movie."

Charlie looks around at Sam and Deans questioning faces, I have been quiet lately and they keep getting more and more suspicious. Especially since whenever I speak it is usually dripping with sarcasm and attitude.

"We're gonna have a scary movie night." Charlie smiles, hoping her enthusiasm will cover up my lack of perkiness. "We've got that weird Johnny Depp one."

Sam can tell something is bothering me and I am defiantly not in the mood for an interrogation, so I decide to bite back my discomfort.

"Yeah, it's gonna be great." I say with the most assuring smile I can muster, but I have a feeling it comes of sarcastic. "What are you guys doing tonight?"

Sam is still glancing at me curiously, but Dean has no problem answering, "I've got a date." He is practically beaming.

"When don't you?" I mumble rudely as I sit back in my chair, wanting to take my anger and frustration out on anyone.

"Jenny!" Sam scolds me, surprised at growing attitude.

"What? He has a new girl practically every night!" I defend myself, pointing towards Dean.

"I do not!" He defends, looking offended.

"Whatever." I mutter turning back to my food.

"What the hell is your problem, Jen?" Dean asks, fed up with me.

"Dean" Sam protests, watching the situation about to escalate.

"No!" Dean places his hand up to Sam, keeping his eyes on me. "You've been acting like a complete _bitch_ for the past few days, and I want to know what the hell is your problem?!"

I stare at him, eyes wide and seething. He challenges me with his look of irritation. I look at Charlie next to me, who is silently pleading with me to not fight, which I consider for a moment, but I am way to stubborn to listen.

"You want to know my problem?!" I yell enraged with anger as I sit up towards the end of my seat, throwing my arms in fury. "_You_ are my _fucking_ problem! You and all the whores you bring into this house!"

"_JENNY!_" Sam yells, looking at me with shock, "What has gotten into you?!"

"What has gotten into me?" I bite back, with laughter, "Why don't you ask yourself that question?!" I snap, before standing up and stomping off from the table, leaving behind two very confused, very pissed off Winchesters and one extremely uncomfortable teenager.

* * *

I keep my head buried in the pillows at the foot of my bed until I hear a very strong knock on my door.

"If it's Charlie, come in. If it's Sam or Dean, go away!" I yell hoarsely, wiping the tears of anger from my red cheeks before laying my head back on the pillow.

I hear the door open and look up hoping to see Charlie, but to my dismay it is someone else, "I told you to go away."

"Yea, well I need to talk to you." Sam explains.

"Get out." I mumble with little energy, turning around on the bed, so I am facing the wall.

"I really think we should talk."

"I don't want to talk." I bite back stubbornly, not bothering to turn towards him.

"Jenny, just tell me what's bugging you." He pleads, sitting down behind me on the bed, trying to look over and see my eyes.

"I'm Fine" I sigh, trying to ignore the tears the spill out, rebelling from my lie.

"No you're not." He protests, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, "Please just talk to me." He pleads quietly as he starts to rub soothing circles.

"Because I'm the one that needs to talk to you?" I snap, sitting up and turning towards him. I am finally fed up with being told I need to communicate with him when he is the one keeping the secret.

"Jen, what are you talking about?" Sam asks confused.

"Why….Why…" I am dying to ask the question, but the words become lost on my tongue. _Just say it Jen. Just say it._ "Why haven't you told me about your dreams?" It is instantly like a weight of my chest.

I don't even have to clarify what dreams I'm talking about. He instantly freezes with knowledge and I shake my head disappointed, trying to suck in my falling tears, "We promised after she died that we wouldn't hide these kinds of things. So why didn't you tell me? Why would you hide this?" I plead, tears like pools around my eyes.

He looks dazed, still trying to process that his secret is out. I can't look me in the eyes, but he tries to speak, "I…I…I don't know."

"But Sam..." I start, grabbing onto his arm, "You could have told me about it. You shouldn't have to deal with it by yourself." I try to find his eyes, but he can't look at me.

"Just talk to me Sam. Please." I beg calmly.

He glances at me quickly before looking back down, shaking his head. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, standing up and wiping his tears away with one swift smear, "I can't talk about this." He tells me before abruptly leaving the room.

I sit on the bed, alone and eyes wide with confusion, staring at the now closed door. He didn't even give me enough time to respond before he was out that door. Tears begin to run down my face more rapidly as I repeat his words over and over again in my head.

_"I can't talk about this."_

How could he say that? After everything we've been through he can talk to me about anything. I am beginning to realize how severe the situation must be if he can't talk to me. Something else has to be going on. Something so bad he can't bare to speak the words. Something that has to do with his dreams. Something that has to do with Jess.

* * *

"Here. Eat up!" Charlie persuades, shoving a pint-sized carton of Ben & Jerry's Fudge Brownie Ice Cream in my face.

"Thanks" I smile half-heartedly, grasping the ice cream and spoon from her hands. After Sam left my room he went right to bed, not talking to anyone, making me even more worried about the situation.

"I know you don't want to talk about what happened anymore, so we are gonna to get your mind off of everything and have the most amazing night ever!" Charlie explains as she places a movie in the DVD player.

"What are we watching?" I ask curiously as she walks back over to the couch, remote in hand.

"House of Wax" She smiles, sitting on the couch next to me and grabbing her ice cream off the coffee table.

"Oh, Is that the one where Paris Hilton gets killed?!" I ask instantly excited.

"Hell yes." She smirks.

"Then I'm in!" I smile, sitting up straighter.

When the menu pops up on the screen she hits the play button and the movie begins. We huddle together, covering ourselves in blankets and pillows, with the lights turned off. After the movie finishes at a little after ten o'clock we put in Secret Window and return to our comfy positions.

It is only halfway through the movie when I hear the front door open and see Dean walk into the hallway and straight to the upstairs, only glancing at me for a moment. I take note of how unusually early he is home from one of his dates. He usually doesn't stumble in until the morning, unless of course his date is accompanying him.

I turn to my side and see Charlie asleep, leaning against the side of the couch. After carefully removing my blankets so I wouldn't wake her I walk quietly up the stairs, stopping at Dean's door.

I knock on the door and open it, not waiting for a response.

"I need to talk to you." I explain, closing the door before making my way over to Dean, who is sitting on his bed removing his shoes.

"I think you did enough talking at dinner." He removes his watch as he speaks.

"Yeah."

I drop my head, immediately feeling bad for treating him like crap at dinner. Sure I didn't like when he brought girls to the house, but I didn't have to yell at him. I was just mad about everything with Sam, and Dean was the easy target.

"About that, I...I wasn't mad at you Dean."

"You could've fooled me."

"Dean." I say forcefully, getting his attention, "I'm sorry. What I said…it wasn't about you. I was frustrated."

"Frustrated about what?" Dean inquires.

"Nothing…It's just Sam." I start, shaking my head uncertainly.

"What about Sam?" He asks, worried about his little brother, his head perking up more.

"Nothing. He just won't talk to me." I try to play it off like it is nothing, not wanting to get Dean on Sam's case when he obviously doesn't want to talk about it. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." I smile before turning around and grabbing the door handle.

"Jenny." I hear Dean say and turn around to see Dean looking surprisingly remorseful, "I'm sorry too. You know about calling you a bitch and everything."

"It's okay. I probably would have said the same thing." I smile opening the door. "G'night"

"Night Jenny."

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**Sorry this chapter is on the shorter side but there is a two-parter comin up next. I'll definatly have part one up soon. And as a gift/apology for not posting in so long, I have a small preview of the next chapter for you. So if you wanna wait you can look away, shield your eyes, or skip down to the review button ;D**

**---**

I stand there, shoulders hunched, smoking my cigarette when I hear the door knob to our motel room twist. As I turn around I see Dean open up the door and walk out. I try to hide the cigarette, ashamed, but he already has seen it.

"I thought you stopped doing that." He motions to the object in my hand as he leans his back against the railing next to me.

"Old habits die hard." I mutter, taking a drag of the cigarette. "Want one?" I offer, holding the pack towards Dean.

"Please, that crap's nasty." He shakes his head disgusted, "So what are you doin' up so late?" He glances behind him at the cars driving on the highway.

I sigh sadly, "Do you even have to ask? We're up for the exact same reason."

"Right" Dean nods his head somberly, "So how long have you known about them?"

---

**Promise to get the whole chapter up soon! Hope you like that little bit :D**

**XOXO**


	18. A Bad Dream, Part 1

**A/N: Hey Guys! I'm all hyped up because after a week of doing nothing but studying, taking tests, and sleeping I am finally done with my junior year! And I'm so excited to spend the summer doing some good writing! If any of you guys are just getting out of school for the summer, CONGRATULATIONS! **

**Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! And thanks bunches and bunches to Jade (jadeelovessupernatural) and Becky(FLD). You guys Rock!!!**

**XOXO**

**~Mary**

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**A Bad Dream, Part 1**

"Jenny, hurry up!" Dean yells, dodging a blow from the aggressive spirit.

"I'm hurrying!" I yell running back from the impala with the large canister of salt, a bottle of lighter fluid, and a box of matches. I drop all but the salt to the ground by the dug grave, and shake it into the open casket, covering the beautiful women's ugly corpse with salt. I then quickly grab the lighter fluid and squirt it over her rotted bones.

"A little faster!" Dean screams, blocking another hit.

"I got it!" I shout, striking the match and dropping it into the open grave. I watch as the fire catches and look for Dean to see the women burst into flames long before her fist can make contact.

And that is it. I've done it. I've finally gotten to kill one of these bad boys. The feeling that comes over me is unexplainable, an incredible rush of adrenaline. I want to scream with excitement and exhilaration. All of the work I have done in the past few months has been excruciating, but this moment easily makes it worth every ounce of pain and every bead of sweat.

"Holy shit!" I scream thrilled "Did you just see that?!"

"Yea" Dean smiles as he walks back towards me, rubbing his sore shoulder "Good work, kid." Realization dawned on his face as he turned to me, "Language."

"I can't believe it…" I mutter softly, ignoring his comment. "I did it."

"Yea you did." Dean congratulates, patting me on the back.

My eyes are full of mystification and I almost cannot believe that it actually happened. But looking down at the fiery pit and up into Dean's proud eyes I know that it is real. "I did it" I mutter quietly.

"I did it." I say louder smiling up at Dean who nods at me with an odd glance.

"I did it!" I scream, jumping into his arms excitedly, wrapping my arms around his neck, my feet a few inches from the ground.

I can tell he wasn't expecting it because he backs up, but my arms are secure around him. He slowly wraps his arms around me and laughs as I let out a squeal of excitement.

"Oh my god! I can't believe it!" I exclaim, holding onto him tight before releasing my grip on him as he lowers me to ground.

"I mean did you see that?!" I don't even realize that I have asked that question already, but Dean must because he laughs.

"Yea…Yea I did."

I smile, getting my excitement under control as I take in a deep breath. My heartbeat regulates, but you couldn't pull this smile off my face.

"Thank you so much, Dean. I couldn't have done it without you." I smile.

"Well I'm glad I trained you so well or my ass would've been toast back there." He says with mock fear.

I laugh giving him a little shove.

"Hey, what the hell happened?" Sam asks, running towards us with a crowbar "I thought you were gonna wait for me to get back."

"Yea well there was a change of plans." Dean replies.

"Why?" Sam asks pissed, worried about me.

"Well Casper the not so friendly ghost decided to play a little defense." I explain "But guess what!" I order excited.

"What?"

"I killed it!" I jump up and down on the damp cemetery grass, clapping my hands like a little kid.

"You what?" Sam asks surprised.

"I wasted that bitch!" I yell, but stop and apologize when I see Sam's reaction to my language.

"That's great Jen." He smiles "I'm so proud of you." He places one arm around me in a side hug as we begin to walk back to the car.

"Well I think we should celebrate." Dean says picking up the canister of salt and empty bottle of lighter fluid.

"Oh, Can we please get Chinese food?" I beg wrapping my other arm around Sam's waist in a hug and looking up at him pleadingly.

"I think we could do that." Sam smiles at my child-like antics.

* * *

"You should have seen it! It was so insane!" I lay back on the motel bed, talking to Ethan on the phone while Sam and Dean pick up the Chinese food.

"I told you that you'd get the hang of it. I'm proud of you Jenny."

I am glad he isn't here because I am blushing profusely. "Thanks"

"So does this mean you and Sam are okay?"

"I don't know" I sigh "We aren't fighting, but we aren't talking about anything important either."

"I'm sorry"

"Thanks Ethan. You really are great. You know that don't you?"

"I've been told a few times." He says with sarcastic cockiness.

"I'm serious. You are the only person besides Sam and Dean that I can talk to about this. You are the only one that knows the real me." I pause trying not to get all emotional "I just really appreciate it, you listening to me complain and all."

I hear Ethan laugh on the other side of the phone "It's not that hard to listen to you Jen. Plus, you've listened to me complain plenty of times. Like when I got benched for being out of school the day before the big game."

"Well that was unfair. I mean it wasn't your fault you got a 24 hour bug."

"Yeah" I can practically hear his smile "Well I have to get going. Warm-ups start in an hour."

"Okay, well I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Jenny"

"Bye"

I hang up the phone, placing it back in the holder. God I loved listening to that boy talk. He is the perfect man. He is tough but sweet, funny but smart, and cute but not cocky. If boys were cars he might give the Impala a run for its money. Of course if Dean ever heard me say that he'd probably never speak to me again. I laugh to myself as the motel door opens.

"Foods here" Dean says as he and Sam place the bags on the table.

* * *

"Ugh." I moan as unsteadiness in the bed wakes me up. Looking at the clock I see that it is only three thirty. I turn over to see Sam in the middle of another one of his nightmares. He is visibly uncomfortable, sometimes twitching, and he lets out mumbled words every once in a while.

He has been doing this for at least two weeks that I know of. At home I can sleep through them, the sounds not being loud enough to wake me from down the hall. But staying in a one room hotel and sharing a bed makes it hard to ignore his dreams. I didn't wake up last night though. However I learned in the early morning that it was only because he never went to sleep.

Sam moans scared in his sleep and I can't bear to listen to it anymore. I get out of bed, grab my coat off the table and walk out the front door. The winter air is chilly, but luckily not as bad here in South Carolina as it would be back at home. Walking over to the railing before of me, I place my hands on it as I look down to the parking lot one floor down. My hands go to my pockets next and when I feel my pack of cigarettes and I sigh in relief, pulling them out. I quickly place one in my mouth before taking the matches out of the lining of the cigarette box where I keep them. Striking the match I bring it to the tip of the cigarette, taking in a long inhale.

I stand there, shoulders hunched, smoking my cigarette when I hear the door knob to our motel room turn. As I turn around I see Dean open up the door and walk out. I try to hide the cigarette, ashamed, but he already has seen it.

"I thought you stopped doing that." He motions to the object in my hand as he leans his back against the railing next to me. He looks troubled as he glances across the parking lot but does a decent job of hiding it when his eyes lay back on me.

"Old habits die hard." I mutter, taking a drag of the cigarette. "Want one?" I offer, holding the pack towards Dean.

"Please, that crap's nasty." He shakes his head disgusted, "So what are you doin' up so early?" He asks glancing behind him at the cars driving on the highway.

"Do you even have to ask? We're up for the exact same reason." I sigh, sadly.

"Right" Dean nods his head "How long have you known about them?"

"A little over three weeks, it was the night he came back from Fairfield." I explain flicking the cigarette, sending ashes to the pavement below. "I've asked him about it…he won't tell me anything." I watch as the ashes turn from fiery orange to charcoal gray. "What about you?" I ask looking up towards him.

"Same here" He nods somberly, looking down, hands in his pockets. He stares intensely at the now grey ashes, slight disgust in his green eyes. His emotions start to get too much for him so he turns his attention towards me "You should probably get back to bed, Jen."

"I can't sleep." I refuse, shaking my head at the impossible.

Dean looks back at the room, realizing that he doesn't want to listen to Sam's nightmares either. He runs something through his head before turning back to me "You want to go get some breakfast?"

I look up at the weird offer, but soon realize that it sounds good at the moment. "Yeah, sure." I nod, standing up. "I just need shoes"

I walk back into the motel room grabbing my faux Ugg boots by the door. I slide them on my feet before turning around and leaving the room quickly without even bothering to change out of my gray sweatpants.

"Ready." I exclaim as I jog down the stairs and towards the Dean who is leaning against the hood of the Impala.

"So where do you want to go?"

* * *

"I think I'm gonna explode." I moan, rubbing my full belly as I lean back in the passenger seat of the Impala.

"Why did you eat that second stack of pancakes?" Dean asks, amused. I can totally rival Dean in the eating... even he couldn't take the second round, pushing the plate away with much effort as he watched me shove more food enthusiastically into my mouth.

"It sounded like a good idea at the time." I shrug "And they were so good Dean. I couldn't control myself!" My defense causes Dean to shake his head laughing.

"Okay, whatever you say."

I lay back and let my stomach digest the food and settle down. A yawn overtakes my body and I stretch out over the seat, trying to get comfortable. I look over to Dean, my eyelids drooping with exhaustion, and watch as he drives ahead in total solitude, like a machine. He always stares straight ahead and subconsciously mouths the words to the songs coming through the speakers as he thumps his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat. I watch as the constant beating of his thumbs soothes me.

I must have drifted off to sleep because as I look around I notice we are right in front of the motel. "Did I fall asleep?" I ask Dean a little dazed as I take in my surroundings and wipe the tired out of my eyes.

"Yeah. About ten miles back." He says taking the key out of the ignition and opening the door. "Let's go."

I nod my head before opening the door and stepping on to the parking lot concrete. As the chilly morning air hits my skin I button up my jacket and place the hood over my head, looking up at the window of our motel room.

I stare, not wanting to walk any closer, afraid that perhaps Sam was dreaming through the window. I look back down at my hands that were tucked in my pockets, trying to convince myself that I am strong enough to go back inside that room. However, I can't get myself to even consider that a truth. I am scared out of my mind. How can I go back in there and just pretend that everything is okay. Something is going on with Sam, something that he won't tell me about, and something that has got him scared enough to keep it from me.

"Jenny!" Dean exclaims, causing me to jump slightly, exiting my dazed state.

I jump back, startled, and try to focus my attention on my current surroundings "What?"

"Ready?" He asks, pointing towards the stairs, which leads to our floor.

"Oh…uhhh…" I mumble as my eyes find the window of our motel room once again. "I….I…" I wonder if Sam is awake, sitting on his bed, trying desperately to forget about whatever is keeping him up. Or is he still asleep, fighting the demons of his mind as they terrorize him in his dreams.

"I can't go in there." I shake my head, ashamed, looking down at my hands resting in my coat pockets.

"What?" He asks walking back over towards me "Why?"

"Because…" I sigh, not being able to look up into Dean's questioning stare "I…I just can't." I am too embarrassed to answer, as I try to keep my emotions under control.

"Jenny, what's going on?" His tone is soothing as he becomes more worried.

I shake my head uncomfortably before raising it, tears building behind my eyes. "I can't see him like that Dean. I can't deal with it."

"Jenny…" Dean starts.

"No I can't. I thought that I could deal with this, but I can't." I shake my head sadly "He won't talk to me, which means it has to be bad. And I just want to help him." I begin to ramble on with tears in my eyes. "But he won't let me. He won't talk to me about it. I just listen to him scream out to her every night. And then I have to pretend like everything is fine when he is awake. I can't do it anymore. I'm not strong enough. I just…"

I am cut off as Dean wraps his arms around me strongly, pulling me into his chest. It is unexpected, but I am too emotional to care. I give in to his embrace and rest my head on his shoulder, my nose nuzzled into his chest. I take a deep breath, trying to get my tears under control as I relax in his arms. He gives my shoulders a small squeeze before pulling back, hands gripping my shoulders, and looking me straight in the eyes.

"Jen, I know you are dealing with more than anyone your age should have to right now, but don't you dare say that you aren't strong enough." He says warningly "Cus' we both know that it's bullshit, so don't you even try it for a second."

I shake my head, eyes still glossed with tears "But Dean…"

"No." Dean says strongly "You can do this okay. Sam will let us know what is going on eventually. We just have to be there for him until then."

I nod my head solemnly. Dean's right. He will eventually come to us. I just hope that I can make it until he is ready because I'm not sure if I can take it. I don't want to know that as I lay peacefully next to him his dreams are being been overtaken by the sight of my sister, a sight that for some reason has him in gruesome pain. Will I pull through until he shares with Dean and I the shadows that plague him nightly or will I admit defeat? Only time will tell.

* * *

**Please Review *Does best Sammy puppy face***


	19. A Bad Dream, Part 2

**A/N: Thanks to my Beta Jade! She's amazing! **

**I also wanted to inform all of you that I posted a oneshot for Jenny. I lost a bet with my friend Becs and she let me pay her back with writing. Then she felt bad so she wrote me one too. lol. And you should definitely check hers out too if you read her Elli Winchester Stories. **

**

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****Bad Dream, Part 2**

I lay in bed with the covers pulled up to my chin, blocking out any cold air from entering. I only stir when I hear someone moving quickly in the hallway, slamming a drawer shut in the process. As I turn to my door I see the shadow of someone walking down the hall. Looking to my clock I see that it is merely four o'clock in the morning, or in other words, way too early for me to be up, especially on a weekend. I sigh, rolling over on my stomach and burrowing my head into my pillows to fall back asleep.

"Dean, Come on. We have to get on the road soon!" Sam yells in an extreme hurry.

I snap up in bed with a confused expression across my face. What the hell? They don't have a hunt this weekend.

I slide out of the bed and let my tube socks hit the cold hardwood floor. As I walk I rub the tiredness out of my eyes before pushing my slightly opened door to a fully opened position.

"Sam?" I ask curiously, looking around the empty hallway. "Dean?"

I walk to the entryway of Sam's room and peak through the door to see him placing some of his newly folded laundry in his green duffel bag.

"Dean, Are you almost ready?!" Sam yells before finally looking up to see my petite form in the doorway. "Hey, when did you wake up?" He places down his clothes, and tries to take any attention off of himself.

"Sam? What's going on?" I ask, squinting my eyes in confusion and sleepiness. I hug my bare arms to protect from the air that is a little too chilly for my liking.

"Oh, well…" He starts and I immediately know that I am not going to like this news "Dean and I are going on a hunt."

"What? You promised that you would be home this weekend!" I argue. For the past few weeks Sam has been looking for any excuse to go on a hunt, and spending time with me was a rare occasion. However, last week before he and Dean left on their third hunt for the month without me I made him promise to be home this weekend.

"I know, Jen. But something came up." He tries to explain as he walks over towards me and places a hand on my shoulder giving me those puppy eyes of his, but I am not up for it.

"Like what?" I raise my voice, shoving his hand off my shoulder "What came up at four in the morning that was so important you couldn't wait to leave?"

"Listen Jenny…"

"No. Whatever. Just forget about it." I sigh turning around and walk towards the door.

"Jen!" Sam yells strongly, causing me to turn around. I open my mouth to yell, but once my eyes find his I pause, troubled. He looks so hurt, like there is something vital going on, something life altering. I know he has been troubled lately. I am not around him much anymore when he sleeps, but Dean has informed me that his dreams have yet to stop.

"Sam?" I ask scared, my heart aching at the sight of his obvious pain "What's going on?"

"Nothing." He mumbles not even close to convincingly as he turns back to his clothes.

"Bull shit" I mutter softly walking to his bed and standing next to him as he places a sweatshirt in his duffel "_What's wrong_?" I speak with more urgency than before.

"Jenny, nothing's wrong." He shakes his head, laughing, like he has no idea what I am talking about as he refolds his favorite red shirt and looks up at me "I'm fine. Everything's fine." The small smirk he adds at the end is what finally sends me over the edge.

"Stop it!" I yell, grabbing the shirt from his hands and throwing it onto the bed "Just stop pretending that everything is okay and tell me what's wrong!"

"Jenny…" Sam starts, still looking at me like I am the one with a problem. His startled expression at my outburst only adds to my fury. He knows what I am talking about, yet he still keeps up the act. Doesn't he trust me at all?

"Don't Sam!" I warn "Don't tell me that everything is okay! What is going on?!"

"What are you talking about?!" He is now forgetting the duffel and addressing me as he grows angry and frustrated.

"What am I talking about?!" I laugh in sheer disbelieve "I'm talking about the fact that you don't talk to me anymore!"

"What? Jenn…"

"I'm talking about the fact that you are never home anymore! You always are out on hunts! And…" My voice cracks as tears come to my eyes, causing my voice too turn more somber, "What happened to us Sam? We used to share everything." I shake my head sadly looking up into Sam eyes. He is fighting tears as he watches me break.

"We do." His voice is raspy, using all of his strength to hold in his tears.

"Really?" I ask angry, but my voice is too tired to be raised "Then tell me Sam, what do you dream about?" This causes his tears to finally fall down his face as he is too surprised to hold them in. "When you cry in your sleep, yelling out my sister's name…" I struggle to get out the words through my cries "What do you see? What is it that you are so scared to tell me?"

Sam tightens his eyes, hoping to close off the flow of his streaming tears as he wipes at them with his palm. He looks down and I search for his eyes but they are unreachable. "Jenn…" He starts, with a hitched voice "I…." He breaks off, unable to finish.

"Please Sam." I place my arms on his shoulders, begging with my eyes "Just tell me. Please!"

He looks so scared, broken, like he is dreadfully lost and confused. I follow his lead as he sits back on the bed slowly, keeping my body directly towards him as I sit, watching his every distinct move.

"It started a week before she died." He begins "I thought they were just dreams, but…but then it happened." His voice is high pitched as he continues to cry.

"What happened? What did you see?"

For the first time since sitting he looks me in the eyes "Her death."

Did he just…Please tell me I just imagined that? No, he couldn't have. It doesn't make any sense.

"What?" I breathe heavily, feeling as if some just keeps piling more weight on to my chest "You…You…"

"I didn't even consider that they could be real, Jenny. If I had known I would have done something, you have to believe me!" He sounds urgent and scared, scared of losing me.

"No…it doesn't make any sense…" I cry, choosing denial as my weapon "She…you…It can't." I shake my head crying. This isn't right. It isn't possible. Too many thoughts whirl around my brain, causing me too shake my head vigorously in an attempt to clear the fog rolling in.

"I'm sorry Jenn. I wish I didn't have these nightmares but I do. I keep having them."

"Them?" I ask confused, trying to ignore my constant flow of tears "You have other ones besides Jess's."

He looks down ashamed "Last night…I had another. That is why I have to go. I have to protect this person Jenn. I can't let them get hurt." As his tone becomes graver he begins to stop crying and becomes all business. He is not fooling around while someone's life is on the line.

I nod my head understandingly, but with the scared look still in my eyes as I find the floor "Then you should go. You should help these people."

"If you want I could…"

"No just go." I try to give a smile, but I doubt it is convincing "They need your help."

He nods his head understandingly before placing a shaky but comforting hand on my shoulder, giving me ease immediately "Are you gonna be okay?"

"I…I don't know." I shake my head tiredly, tired of feeling alone "Just please…please don't leave me here. I don't want to be alone Sam."

Sam shakes his head immediately "This is dangerous, Jen. You can't come with us."

"Please." I whimper, about to finally lose it "Please take me with you. I want to be with you." I look deep into his eyes, pleading for him not to leave me. His hazel eyes are set as he tries to convey his disapproval. I look back defiantly; ready to hold his gaze until he breaks. If not, resort to pleading.

"I…" He breaks off thinking it over in his head. I know he thinks that is a bad idea but once he looks back up at my broken and tearstained face he gives in. "If you go you have to stay in the motel. This hunt isn't a joke, its serious business and you're not ready for it."

I let out a large sigh of relief, wrapping my arms around Sam's torso as I cling to him dearly. It's like after weeks and weeks of feeling incomplete I am finally whole. I don't think it would be possible for me to hug him any tighter. I want to say thank you but the sobs are too busy making their way out of my throat for anything else to come out.

"It's okay." Sam soothes, stroking my hair "You're okay."

He rubs his hand soothingly on my back, stronger once the sobs begin to make my small and fragile form tremble. He places a kiss on the top of my head, resting there as he comforts me.

"Sam, you ready?" I hear from down the hallway.

Sam only moves an inch, and I cling to him fiercely, not wanting him to leave me. I haven't felt this close to him since I found out about his dreams, and I don't want to lose him like that ever again. "It's okay, Jen. I'm not going anywhere." He whispers in assurance.

"Hey Sam, When are we…" Dean's breaks off, but I don't even look up to see him at the door. I just keep my head buried in Sam's chest, crying into his sweatshirt.

"Sam?" Dean whispers over my cries, coming to the side of the bed and trying to get a look at my face, which is hidden, as he places a comforting hand on my back "What happened?"

"We'll talk about it later." Sam assures quietly "Can you go pack Jenny a bag?"

"A bag? Where is she…?" Dean stops, slowly figuring it out in his head "Please tell me you don't mean…"

"Yeah I do." Sam nods "She's coming with us."

* * *

**Please Review!**


	20. Home

**Home**

"You don't go anywhere. You understand?" Sam checks sternly, taking the remote out of my hands and standing between my position on the hotel bed and the television.

"Yeah. Got it." I nod, not able to help the small roll of my eyes. I was a little pissed. I understand the fact that I'm not ready to fight this baddie, but I so greatly want to help in the destruction of the creature that murdered my sister.

"Jenny this is serious. Are you paying attention?" He asks, sensing my attitude.

"Yeah. Sorry." I shake my head to focus on the task at hand. As much as I don't want to just sit in the hotel room, I know it is better than sitting at home.

Dean walks towards the bed and hands the canister of salt to me before turning to grab his jacket off of the chair. "Okay, all the windows are lined with salt so when we leave salt the door behind us."

"So you're good?" Sam checks one last time, being his normal overprotective self.

"I'm fine. I promise." I smile, giving him reassurance.

"Okay, we'll check in with you later." Sam says, pulling his long arms through his jacket and giving me a quick kiss on the forehead before walking with Dean out the door.

Once I hear the roar of the Impala I walk towards the door and put down a thick line of salt. Once it is to my liking I screw the cap back on the canister, place the canister on the small table and walk back towards the bed. As I collapse on the comfy cushion I wish that I could be with Sam and Dean at the moment. The whole point of hunting was to get ready to kill this thing and I'm not even prepared to do it.

* * *

I am watching my fifth episode of Law and Order: SVU when I hear the impala pull up outside. The car is soon turned off and the voices off two Winchesters get closer and closer to the door.

"Hey Jen. I got you a burger." Sam says as he opens the door and places a brown bag on the table by the window.

"Thank god." I mutter as I stand up, a hand on my empty tummy, "For a second I thought I was gonna have to actually eat the food in those vending machines."

I take the Styrofoam container from Sam's hands and open it up as I sit down in the chair next to him and Dean. "So what did ya find? Is the bastard toast?" I ask excitedly, taking a bite out of my burger.

"Language"

"Bastard isn't a swear!" I defend, with a mouthful of food.

"Jenny" Sam warns again, causing me to roll my eyes at his disapproval of my language.

"Sorry. Okay? Now can you just tell me if this thing has passed its expiration date?!"

Dean wipes his mouth with a napkin before answering, "We don't know yet."

"But it is the same thing that killed Jess and your mom, right?"

"We think so. We just have to make sure."

Dean defiantly is having trouble trusting Sam's visions.

"Well how do we do that?"

"Well were gonna pay a visit to a local psychic." Sam says causing me to give him a questioning glance.

"A psychic? Why? Do you feel like getting ripped off?"

"She knew our Dad." Sam answers, "Which means she probably knows about what happened to our Mom. And she could help."

"Oh." I nod, for some reason having a hard time believing psychics were real. This is silly considering what I know about the supernatural, and everything that is happening with Sam and his visions right now.

"So who is she? When are you gonna visit her?"

"Missouri Mosely" Dean exclaims as he takes a sip of his beer, "We're gonna head out in a few minutes."

"Right" I nod unhappily, hating that I would have to stay by myself in this hotel for another several hours. If I have to watch one more hour of television, sitting in the same exact spot as I have been in all day, I am gonna blow my brains out.

"Hey guys?" I ask with a mischievous glint in my eyes that they immediately catch.

"Yeah?" Sam asks, him and Dean both knowing I am about to ask a huge favor.

"Well I was just thinking, you know since you're just going to talk to some psychic and not doing anything dangerous that maybe…." I smile wide like a child begging for a toy, "I could come with you."

"Hell no!" Dean and Sam object, both giving me a 'are you insane' look.

"Come on! You're not doing anything dangerous!" I plead "I just want to get out of this hotel. Please." I give Dean the pouty lip, which I know for a fact makes him feel guilty.

He tries to stay strong, but he soon starts to feel for me "Ugh. Why are you such a pain in the ass?" He exclaims, which I know means 'Fine, you can come.' in Dean Language.

"Thank you!" I smile jumping up from my seat and running to Dean's chair, wrapping my arms his neck from behind him and giving him a peck on the cheek. "I'll go get ready!" I smile towards a reluctant Sam and run off towards the bathroom before he can object.

* * *

I sit on a small gray couch in between Sam and Dean. Sam is focused straight ahead, looking slightly nervous and Dean is irritably flipping through a magazine before finally throwing it down on the table.

"Don't you worry about a thing" We hear and immediately turn our heads towards the short woman leading a man towards the door. "Your wife is crazy about ya." She smiles as he exits. Once she closes the door she rests a hand on it with a sigh, "Poor bastard. His woman is cold bangin' the gardener."

We look at each other, Dean and I holding back a giggle, as she walks back towards where she entered.

"Why didn't yea tell em'?" Dean asks with a smirk.

"People don't come here for the truth." She explains, turning back towards us "They come for good news"

We take in what she says, but she becomes impatient, "Well Sam, Dean and Jennifer come on already. I ain't got all day." She informs us, turning around and walking into the living room, after motioning for us to follow.

"Dude, how did she…?" I wonder, astonished.

"Come on." Sam tells Dean and me as he stands up following Missouri.

I turn to Dean who shrugs his shoulders before following Sam, leaving me to follow behind them.

"Well, let me look at ya." She exclaims once we all enter the room. "You boys grew up handsome" She tells Sam and Dean before focusing her attention on Dean, "and you were one goofy looking kid too." She laughs.

Sam smirks, and I can't help but let out a loud giggle once I see Dean's shocked face.

"Sam" She says, her voice very friendly and pleasant, as she takes a hold of Sam's hand. "Oh hunny." She begins with a sad expression, catching Sam off guard, "I'm sorry about your girlfriend."

Sam and I both tense up immediately.

"How'd you know that?" He asks.

"Well you were just thinking it, just know." She explains to Sam. Her eyes move towards me and I instantly straighten, feeling watched and under pressure.

"Jenny, such a beautiful girl" She smiles brushing a strand of my hair from my face. Her smile is so gentle that I immediately feel like I can trust her. "You sure like to give these boys a hard time, don't ya?" She laughs, and I giggle guiltily.

"I'd say so." Dean mutters inwardly, earning a harsh glare from me.

"You need to take it easy on these boys, ya hear?" Missouri chuckles "They can't help but worry about ya."

I chuckle, slightly embarrassed at having my mind read in front of Sam and Dean. She takes a hold of my hand lightly and she instantly tenses. She looks into my eyes shocked and pitiful. I look between a bewildered Sam and Dean, scared, wondering what on earth she has found in the dark cobwebs of my mind.

"What?" I ask scared "What is it?"

Missouri thinks something over in the back of her head before erasing it from her mind, "Nothing child." She shakes her head before looking to Sam and Dean "Why don't you boys tell me why you're here." She says, leading us to the couch.

Sam and Dean tell her about the house, but she isn't so sure it's the same thing that killed their Mom and Jess. They agree to bring her by the house to check it out, which of course means that I am going to be dropped off back at the hotel.

I drove back with Dean, Sam, and Missouri and assured Sam that I could make it in fine without his help. "Missouri was right about one thing" I mumble to myself as I unlock the door and step inside "Those boys do love to worry."

After I close the door I make sure to reline the salt and then make my way over to the bed. I lie on the bed and press the power button on the remote, continuing with the Law and Order Marathon.

After about three more episodes of Law and Order I get a call from Sam letting me know that they won't be home tonight. And he also informs me that it isn't the same creature that killed Jess, it is a poltergeist.

I sigh as I hang up the phone. Pressing the play button on the radio, I let the soft melody of Ray LaMontagne comfort me as I lay back onto my bed.

As I lie there, toying with the idea of an early bedtime, I can't help but go back to the look on Missouri's face today. There was something there, something she was holding back from me. What could she have seen that was that horrible? Could it be something in my future? Could it be something in my past? It had to have been extremely bad if she wouldn't speak of it in front of Sam and Dean.

Ughhh. I have to stop thinking about this. It is going to drive me crazy. In fact, I have to stop thinking about all of it. My entire life I have focused on the negative parts of my life, but never once have I just focused on all the really great things I have. And while my parents and sister may be gone, I still have a great family. It may be a weird and unconventional family, but it is a great one none the less.

I get under the blankets, a light happy smile on my face. From now on that is how it's going to be. I'm going to enjoy what I've got and maybe kill a few bad sons of bitches along the way.

* * *

I wake up to the sun shining through the window and onto my face, heating up my skin. Instantly remembering my pledge to be positive, I jump out of bed and over to the bathroom. Greeting myself in the mirror with a smile, I take my hair out of its ponytail. I turn on the shower and remove my clothes before stepping in.

As I lather the Shampoo into my hair the smile never leaves my face. It sounds silly, but I can't explain how good it feels to not worry about all the crap going on in my life. Once I get out of the shower I wrap a towel around me and step onto the linoleum floor of the bathroom. After running a towel through my hair and getting a comb through it I walk out of the bedroom and turn on the radio as I grab my clothes.

The only station I can find is a country station, but it'll do. I listen to the end of some song by the Rascal Flatts as I put on my underwear and then my jeans. As I am placing my pink Ramones shirt over my damp head the song switches to 'Man I Feel like a Woman' by Shania Twain.

I can't help but laugh at the memories. It was probably ten years ago when Jess and I danced to this song at one of our family parties. Jess dressed us both up in pink cowboy boots and cowboy hats and we stood up in front of our entire family, dancing our hearts out. Even though I was only five I still remember how much I enjoyed being just like my big sister as we danced in sync and wore our matching pink and sparkly outfits.

My smile grows and my hips start to shake ever so slightly to the music. I run my hands up through my hair as I start to sing the words to the song.

"_The Best Thing About Being A Woman  
Is The Prerogative To Have A Little Fun And…"_

As the song gets amped up I run to the radio and blast the volume. I Dance around the room, hips swaying wildly and arms thrown in the air.

"_Oh Oh Oh Go Totally Crazy Forget I'm A Lady  
__Men's Shirts, Short Skirts  
Oh Oh Oh Really Go Wild Yeah Doin' It In Style  
Oh Oh Oh Get In The Action Feel The Attraction_

_Color My Hair, Do What I Dare  
Oh Oh Oh I Wanna Be Free Yeah To Feel The Way I Feel  
Man I Feel Like A Woman"_

I dance rowdily around, jumping across the bed and shaking my hips madly. My smile is beaming as I continue to belt out the lyrics of the song.

"_The Girls Need A Break Tonight We're Gonna Take  
__The Chance To Get Out On The Town  
__We Don't Need Romance We Only Want To Dance  
__We're Gonna Let Our Hair Hang Down"_

I spin around on my toes and am caught off guard when I come face to face with Sam and Dean. Both of which have very amused looks on their faces. At first I pause, embarrassed and search for and excuse. But then I realize 'Who cares?'

I begin to dance wildly again, laughing at their silly expressions, "Come on Guys!' I yell over the music, "Don't you wanna dance?" I smirk as I sing wildly.

"_The Best Thing About Being A Woman  
Is The Prerogative To Have A Little Fun And…"_

I grab a laughing Sam and Dean by the hands and pull them towards the center of the room, wagging my arms back and forth to get them moving.

"_Oh Oh Oh Go Totally Crazy Forget I'm A Lady  
__Men's Shirts, Short Skirts"_

Sam finally begins to loosen up, laughing as he spins me around in a circle. I giggle as I turn towards Dean who is still laughing at my childish antics, but refuses to join in. I give Sam a smirk as I grab Dean by the hands and jump up and down, shaking him back and forth with my arms. This only causes Dean to laugh at me harder.

"_Oh Oh Oh Really Go Wild Yeah Doin' It In Style  
Oh Oh Oh Get In The Action Feel The Attraction_

_Color My Hair, Do What I Dare  
Oh Oh Oh I Wanna Be Free Yeah To Feel The Way I Feel  
Man I Feel Like A Woman"_

Sam and I laugh as our efforts to get Dean to join in our unsuccessful. The song is starting to come to an end, but our laughter still fills the room.

"Come on Dean! You gotta let loose!" I yell jumping up onto his back.

"Well I think you're having enough fun for the both of us." He grins before I jump off his back and continue to sing and dance through the end of the song.

"_I Get Totally Crazy  
__Can You Feel It  
__Come Come Come on Baby  
__I Feel Like A Woman"_

I laugh hysterically as I collapse back onto the bed behind me, blood pumping from adrenaline. Sam and Dean are chuckling as they remove their jackets that they never took off when they came in.

''So what?" Dean asks, "You just felt the need to break into random dance?"

"Maybe" I smirk, sitting up in the bed. "So how did the hunt go? Did ya kill the son of a bitch?!"

"Dean!" Sam yells frustrated to an unsuspecting Dean.

"What? I didn't tell her to…"

"It doesn't matter!" I interrupt impatiently, "So how did it go?!"

Sam sighs, irritated with Dean, before addressing me, "It went fine." He assures, "You ready to get going?"

"Um let me think about that…Yes!!" I shout, running into the bathroom and taking out my make up bag, placing it in my duffel.

"Let's go boys!" I throw my bag over my shoulder and heading towards the door, shaking my hips to the now nonexistent beat.

* * *

**A/N: Yea so the end was a bit cheesy, but Jenny needed some cheerfulness and this song came on the IPod while I was writing.**

**Review???**


	21. A Little Less Sixteen Candles

**A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me**

I bounce around my room, my hair flying around messily as I dance to my music. My hips shake as I make my way to my closet in my navy blue underwear and hot pink bra. As I look through my clothes my bouncing settles but my hips continue their movement. I consider a blue babydoll dress as I mouth the words to a song that Dean would never approve of me listening to.

I need to find the perfect outfit. I mean a girl only turns sixteen once and it has to be perfect! Plus spring has just begun, so it is finally warm enough to wear a cute casual dress. I flip through my dresses and sigh, not being able to find a good one. I am about to settle on an okay looking yellow halter top dress that isn't exactly what I want when I hear a knock on my door. By the time I turn around Charlie has already entered my room, running towards me with a hug.

"Happy Sweet Sixteen, Jenny Bean!" She yells, practically jumping me with a hug and being too excited to care about my lack of attire.

"Thanks" I laugh, hugging her back.

She breaks the hug to hold out a box wrapped with shiny pink paper and with a large hot pink bow on top.

"I think you might need this." She smiles.

"Ohhh. What is it?!" I ask excitedly, wrapping my blue bathrobe around my petite body and running over to my bed with the gift in my hands.

"You'll see" She smirks, walking over and sitting next to me on the bed as I rip into the present.

I remove the paper and quickly open the box. Once I pull back the tissue paper I scream happily at what I find.

"How did you know?!" I smile, wrapping her in a huge hug.

"I remember turning sixteen. I needed to dress perfectly too."

"Oh my god. Thank you so much! It's perfect!" I hold up the coral red dress by the small straps.

"Well get changed quickly because we're gonna be late, birthday girl."

After I put it on I smooth it out, admiring the floral stitching at the hem of the dress. The dress comes up to the appropriate length of mid thigh and looks amazing. Before leaving my room I grab a white cardigan and put it on, the sleeves only coming down to the elbow, and I slide my feet into a pair of white flip flops.

"Let's go." I smile to Charlie as I grab my cream colored hobo bag and loop my arm through hers. We march skip down the stairs, humming the birthday song and laughing as we almost trip over each others feet. Once we get to the bottom of the stairs I see the clock on the wall and realize that we still have thirty minutes before we have to leave for school.

"Wait. I thought you said we were gonna be late for school." I state, turning to Charlie who has a mischievous smirk on her face.

"All I said was we were gonna be late. I never said for school."

I look at her questioningly, "Well what are we gonna be late for?"

"Come on." She smiles, grabbing onto my hand and leading me towards the kitchen.

"Char, what's going on? I thought…." The thought dies on my lips as I come to one of the most surprising sights I could have imagined.

"Happy Birthday!" Dean and Sam yell, not in exact unison but close enough to make you smile. They are standing behind the counter with a giant stack of chocolate chip pancakes on a plate, which are covered in whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and a single candle.

"I can't believe you're sixteen, Jenn." Sam shakes his head astonished as he walks over and places a fluffy and sparkly birthday tiara on my head.

I smile, looking around at all the silly decorations with amazement in my eyes. There are pink and gold balloons all around the room and purple streamers hanging from the ceiling of the kitchen.

"You did all this?" I ask, a smile tugging on my lips. I don't even wait for an answer as I jump into Sam's arms.

"Thank you." I beam as he lifts me off the ground, squeezing me tightly around the waist.

He places me on the ground, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear and placing his hands on my shoulders, "You look beautiful, Jenny. Really."

"Thanks Sammy" I smile.

"And Dean..." I smirk, walking towards the eldest Winchester, "I thought ya hated me."

"Oh, I do." He says, in a very mockingly serious tone, "You are one major pain in the ass."

"Oh, yea?" I smirk.

"Definitely" He nods, and it doesn't take long before he breaks into a smile, "Happy Birthday, Jenn."

"Thanks Dean." I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me up so my toes graze the ground.

"So you have to be honest with me." I tell Dean as he places me on the ground. I look him directly in the eyes, all business "How bad did Sam screw up the pancakes?"

"Hey!" Sam exclaims offended, "My cooking is much better now!"

Dean laughs before answering me, "Don't worry they aren't bad."

"Thank you!" Sam huffs, walking towards the table with the plate of pancakes.

Dean leans over slightly so he can whisper to me, "I did a taste test to be sure. We're good." He nods, causing me to laugh.

"Thank you" I wrap my arm around his waist and lean my head against his chest in a side hug as we walk over to the table where Sam and Charlie are setting up plates and silverware.

* * *

"So where is this gift?!" I ask excitedly after we finish dinner. They have been teasing me all day and I have to leave soon for the party Charlie is throwing for me.

"Wow, this girl is impatient." Dean says, giving him and Sam a good laugh as we walk into the living room.

"Ha-ha, You're so funny Dean." I mock, "Now can I please have my gift?! Please!" I clasp my hands together under my chin, begging.

"Well until it gets here we can't really do anything about it." Sam informs me, sitting down on the couch with Dean and they each have a beer in their hands.

"Well how long until it's here?"

Sam goes to answer but is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. I look towards Sam and Dean curiously before they nod, giving me conformation that what is at the door is indeed my present.

"Let's go." Sam smiles as he and Dean stand up off the couch, walking towards the door.

I wonder what it is. In my mind I picture a delivery man on the other side of the door, holding a large box, or maybe a puppy. But once the door opens the thoughts of puppies and large gifts are thrown out the window.

"Oh my god!" I yell running and jumping into my present's strong arms.

"Hey Birthday girl." Ethan smiles, lifting me well off the ground.

"Oh. I missed you so much!" I squeal into his neck.

He places me back down on the ground, but keeps a hold on my hand.

"Thank you guys so much!" I smile towards Sam and Dean.

"You're welcome." They smile, "Now get going to your party." Sam smiles as he hands me my jacket and purse.

"Thanks." I take the jacket and bag from Sam and give him and Dean each a kiss on the cheek.

"Be back by midnight!" Sam yells out the door as we walk towards Ethan's rental car.

"We will!" I assure getting into the front seat as Ethan starts the car, placing one hand on the wheel and his other hand in mine.

* * *

'Woah! This is for you?" Ethan asks as we look around Charlie's house, mouths agape at our sight. I bet the playboy mansion has never had a party this wild. There are hundreds of kids, many I couldn't pick out of a lineup, drinking and dancing throughout Charlie's house.

"I think so." I laugh, watching as a guy slides down the banister, falling flat on his face. And even with a busted lip and bruised chin he stands up and throws his arms up in the air, yelling in accomplishment.

"Let's go find Charlie." I take his hand and lead him through the crowd. We don't see her in the living room, but once we enter the kitchen we immediately find her talking to a boy.

"Charlie!" I yell as we walk towards her.

"Hey! Nice turnout, right?!" She grabs a beer and hands one to me when she notices Ethan.

"Who is this Jenny?" She asks, elbowing me suggestively.

"This is Ethan." I introduce, "Ethan, this is my psychopath of a bestfriend, Charlie."

"Nice to meet you."

"You too." She smiles, "Do you want a beer?"

"Sure. Thanks."

We hear a loud crash from the living room causing Charlie to curse. "Crap! I gotta go check this out." She informs us before walking into the dining room where the noise was heard from.

"So…." Ethan says taking my hand once Charlie leaves, "You wanna dance?"

"Sure" I shrug, "Let's go."

I grab his hand and walk to the living room where all of the dancing seems to be taking place. We get into the crowd as 'Swing' by Savage comes through the speakers. It isn't exactly my type of music, but it's a party, right?

He lifts my hand and spins me onto the floor. I giggle before moving my hips to the music. He does some cheesy dance moves, effectively getting me to laugh. However he soon grabs my arms and wraps them around his neck as we dance to the music. I swing my hips as I look clear into his eyes, biting my bottom lip as he holds my stare. I feel the urge, the all too familiar one. I feel my face wanting to be drawn closer, and I can't help but give in.

He cups my face with one hand as our faces come closer. Our lips graze teasingly before finally connecting. It is so gentle and soft but also urgent. We both feel our strong need to be close to each other. I pull his neck closer as he tightens his grip on my waist. Our lips part, allowing our tongues to grace each other gently as we move softly to the pounding music. I feel so alive, like I am full of adrenaline. When our kisses start to become more passionate I break away, placing my thumb on his lips.

"Follow me." I inform him, leading him out of the crowd.

We make it through the living room and up the stairs to Charlie's bedroom. I decide against it because it felt wrong to fool around in my friend's bed and the same goes for her mom's room. We walk to one of the many guest rooms and step inside.

Once I close the door the room is filled with awkward silence. We finally match each others gaze and our bodies move closer. He holds his hands out, which I place mine in. He looks down at them before pulling me closer.

"I missed you Jenny." He smiles gently, staring deep into my eyes.

"Me too." I return the smile, bringing my hands to his neck as I cover his lips with mine. Just like the last one it starts gentle, but begins to get more passionate. Our tongues dance wildly as I pull him back towards the bed, pulling us both down as we reach the edge.

I run my fingers through his soft hair, moaning as he bites down on my lip. I quickly grab the hem of his shirt, dying to get rid of anything between us.

"Wait." He breathes out grabbing my hand, "We should stop."

"What?" I ask confused and hurt, "Don't you want to?"

"Oh Jen, Of course I want to." He sighs, standing up from the bed, "But you don't."

"Yes, I do!"

"Are you sure Jen? Because this is a big deal. Maybe you want to now, but what happens when I have to go back home? We're never gonna be able to see each other. How could we make this work?"

"I want to." I say standing up from the bed, removing my sweater and placing his hands in mine "Maybe we won't be together a year from now, maybe we won't live happily ever after. But I…I love you, and I trust you. You are the only person who knows the real me, and I know you would never hurt me."

He looks up at me shocked, but smiles "I love you too Jenny." He places a small kiss gently on my lips, "But…I…don't have a condom."

"Oh..." I sigh disappointed, before remembering, "Wait, I have one."

"You do?"

"Charlie gave it to me as a joke. Last week she said I was turning sixteen and I need to be prepared." I laugh, grabbing it out of my bag.

"What a good friend." He jokes walking to the bedroom door.

I am about to call out to his retreating form, confused, but I see his hand reach out and push the lock of the door. He walks back towards me and cups my cheeks with his hands. He captures my lips strongly, laying me back onto the bed. I grab his shirt and he successfully helps me pull it up, before throwing it to the floor.

He kisses my neck as his hand makes its way up my thigh strongly, causing me to arch my back as a moan escapes my lips. He pulls at the straps of my dress, kissing every inch of my shoulders. I turn him onto his back so I am straddling his waist, biting my lip as I hold the hem of my dress in my hands. I work up the courage before finally pulling it over my head so I am left in only my panties.

"You're so beautiful Jennifer Moore." He breathes out my real name, staring right into my eyes and not at my exposed body. I smile as he pulls me towards him and he turns so he is now on top. He kisses my swollen lips and I wrap my arms around him neck, needing him to be closer. I break the kiss and go to undo the button on his jeans, pulling down the zipper. I help him pull down his jeans, breathing heavily in anticipation.

* * *

"You okay?" He asks, as he holds me with my head rested on his chest.

"Yeah" I smile tiredly.

"You're sure. You're not hurt or anything?"

"I'm sure." I laugh, "It defiantly hurt, but I'm okay now. I'm more than okay." I snuggle into his arms as we lay in the mess of sheets. We stay here in our own world for what feels like only minutes, but eleven thirty comes sooner than I would hope.

"We should probably get ready to go." Ethan say, glancing at the clock.

"Nooooooo" I whine and hold onto him tighter.

"Fine, you can explain to Sam and Dean why your home late." He laughs, knowing it'll scare me straight.

"Fine, let's go." I mutter as I sit up from the bed, instantly missing the comfort of his arms.

I instantly find my dress and throw it over my head, trying to smooth out all the wrinkles. I grab my panties from the bed a slide them on under my dress.

"You almost ready?"

"Yea. Let's go." He smiles, taking my hand.

We find Charlie trying to kick everyone out as we exit the house. I offer to stay and help, but she refuses.

Ten minutes later I am curled up in the passenger seat of the car, watching as Ethan lays soft kisses across my knuckles which he holds close to his lips.

"How long are you staying for?"

"Two weeks" He answers, paying attention to the road.

"That's not too bad."

"But still not long enough." He sighs sadly.

"Well we'll just have to make it count." I reply with a knowing smirk.

"Oh yeah?" He laughs.

"Yeah." I smile, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on his lips. He pulls away and I just stare into his big blue orbs as they gaze at the dark street ahead.

* * *

**Sorry about the wait everyone. Computer troubles, Mono, Senior Year. Uhhhhh. But I promise to have the next chapter up by this time next week if not sooner. **

**Thanks for all the reviews! Please keep them coming!**


	22. Keep On Loving You

**Keep On Loving You**

"I wish you never had to leave." I sigh, my head rested on Ethan's chest.

"Me too" Ethan kisses the top of my head as we lay on the sofa, "We could just stay here, you and me and this couch."

"Well I don't know about that." I smile cleverly, looking up to his confused face, "What about my bed?"

"Funny." He laughs, tightening his grip around my waist.

"I thought so." I say cheekily, moving up so I am hovering over his lips "We would defiantly need the bed."

"Oh yeah" He nods before I crash my lips onto his with a smile. Our mouths form a smooth pace as he wraps his arms snuggly around my waist. My hands go to the nape of his neck, working my fingers through his hair. I kiss his lips hungrily and playfully as our hips make a soft rhythm.

"So about that bed…" He smiles out of breath, our noses grazing.

"Yeah, but what time is it?" I ask, beginning to trail kisses down to his neck. He lifts his arm up behind my head to check his watch.

"Almost 4:45."

"Crap." I mutter, lifting myself up and checking the watch myself to make sure.

"What?"

"Sam and Dean are gonna be home at five." I sigh, sitting back between his legs. It has been three days since the party and Ethan and I have been sneaking all over the house to get privacy. Luckily they had to go grocery shopping today because all that the refrigerator contained was a six pack of beer and a carton of milk with a questionable expiration date.

"Well that gives us fifteen minutes." He smirks, pulling me down on top of him.

"Oh yeah?" I pull away laughing, "And if they come early do you wanna explain to them that you now have my virginity?"

"Good point."

"That's what I thought." I laugh, bringing my lips back onto his. I open my mouth to give him entrance which he gladly takes. I massage his tongue with mine as his hands travel down to the back pockets of my jeans. Running my hands strongly through his hair, I nibble on his bottom lip.

"I told you to get the milk!" I hear Sam yell as the door opens. Ethan and I immediately jump up off the couch before Sam and Dean appear in the living room.

"And I told you I forgot. Get over it!" Dean rolls his eyes, before they see Ethan and me standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

My arms are crossed over my chest uneasily as Ethan and I try to look inconspicuous, which is difficult considering Ethan and I are both panting heavily, our clothes and hair messy.

"What's going on guys?" Sam looks back and forth between Ethan and me, sensing something unusual.

"Oh...Ah…" I ponder out of breath. Come up with something, anything, "I was just teaching Ethan some sparing techniques, right E?" I give him a very suggestive nod.

"Right, yeah. She was kicking my ass." He says, and we both let out a very forced laugh, letting it die down once we notice they are looking at us like we have six heads.

"Okay." Dean replies skeptically with a close eye on both of us.

"We'll get the rest of the groceries." I offer, looking for any reason to get out of their eye sight "Come on Ethan." I mutter grabbing Ethan's wrist and pulling him out of the room, ignoring Dean and Sam's eye line.

* * *

"Take off those sunglasses! You look like an idiot!" Charlie tells me, pushing the hood from the sweatshirt down off my head and removing my sunglasses as we wait in line.

"Hey!" I snatch the glasses back, "Someone could see me."

"So what? You're at a pharmacy. It's not like they know what you're getting."

I sigh, relaxing my stance slightly, "I know. It's just…it's weird getting something so personal somewhere so public."

"Well get over it." She says teasingly, "You're gonna be glad you got this. Trust me."

I look at her skeptically, but when they call me name I give a queasy smile before walking up to the counter and hoping no one I know walks by.

After my prescription is filled and they hand me the birth control pills, Charlie brings me back to the house. She isn't able to stay because she has a date but I was just beyond grateful she brought me to the pharmacy.

I was nervous about leaving Ethan alone with Sam and Dean but once I get back I am surprised to find them lounging on the couch and watching a sports game.

"Aw, Come on!" Dean and Ethan yell frustrated, throwing there hands up in the air. Sam is aggravate, but not as much so as Dean and Ethan.

"Hey Boys!" I interrupt their game with a worn-out smile, "Do you want to help start dinner?"

Dean takes a drink of his beer as he mutters, "It's like you don't know me at all." while keeping his eyes on the TV.

Sam stands up and walks towards me, "I'll help."

"Thank you." I smile grateful before turning and walking with him to the kitchen. Once we enter the kitchen Sam begins to go through the fridge.

"What do ya feel like? We've got chicken and…chicken." He chuckles.

"Chicken sounds good." I laugh, keeping my purse close to my side as I back up towards the bathroom, "I'll be right back. I've got to go to the bathroom."

"Okay, I'll just get started." He replies, busy reading the directions on a bag of frozen green beans.

I smile before turning around and opening the door to the bathroom. After I enter and close it behind me I walk over to the sink, taking out the paper pharmacy bag from my purse. Once removing its contents I pop the first pill out of the pack before placing in my mouth and turning on the faucet. I make my hands into a cup and fill it with water, then bring the cup to my lips. I swallow the pill and wipe away the water on my lips with the back of my hand.

Looking straight ahead into the mirror I can't help but notice how different I look. And it isn't my hair or my features, but my demeanor. I look happier, more independent. I never thought independence was something you could see physically change, but looking into the mirror I see that in the once scared and frightened little girl is now confident and poised.

* * *

"Be quiet! You're gonna wake em' up!" I laugh as Ethan accidentally knocks his knee into my dresser, sneaking into my dark room.

"Well maybe you could put a light on." He suggests, not thrilled at my soft giggles.

"What fun would that be?" I smile, reaching out for his hand as I kneel on my bed.

Ethan finally makes it to my bed and grabs my hands, intertwining his fingers with mine, "I'm glad you find me getting hurt so funny."

"Well what can I say?" I whisper bringing my lips close enough to his to feel his hot breath, "I like hearing you scream."

I am not surprised that he doesn't even respond before giving into the urge of my lips. I smile sexily into the kiss, loving how alive I feel as he lays us back down on the bed and runs his smooth hand up my thigh. He begins to make smooth kisses on my neck causing me to arch my neck, moaning as his lips travels down my collarbone and suck on my tender skin.

"Quiet." He whispers, moving back up to my neck, nibbling the soft skin. I bite my lip, to stop the cries of pleasure, but I can't help it. A loud cry escapes my lips, causing Ethan to place a hand over my mouth.

"You have to be quiet!" He whispers.

"Well then you have to stop doing that." I challenge out of breath.

"Jenny?"

Ethan and I freeze as we hear a groggy voice call from down the hall.

"Shit!" I whisper madly "Go! Get in the closet!" I yell, pushing Ethan off of me and out of my bed.

"What? Jenny…"

"Just get in the closet!" I grab one of my baggy band tees off the back of my bed, covering up my revealing lacey night shirt.

I lie back into bed, watching as Ethan scrunches down under my hanging clothes and closes the door to the closet.

"Jenny?" I hear a quieter but just as sleepy voice call from my doorway.

I turn in my bed before sitting up and running a hand over my eyes. I let out a yawn as I look at who is in the doorway.

"Dean? Is that you?" I make my voice sound innocent and tired like I was asleep.

"Yeah, are you okay? I thought I heard you crying."

He scuffles to the side of my bed, taking a seat on the edge.

"Oh well…" I try to remain my composure while searching for a cover, "My stomach is killing me. I think I'm getting a bug or something."

"Do you need anything? Some medicine or something?" He asks concerned as he places his hand on my forehead to check for a fever.

I really just want to get him out of my room, but if the pain is so bad that I was moaning I have to ask for some meds. So I put on my best pouty expression, "Can I have some Tylenol please?"

"Yeah. Sure thing kiddo." He smiles, ruffling my hair comfortingly as he gets up. "I'll be right back."

"Thanks." I offer wearily as he leaves the room. Once he is out of hearing distance I whisper to Ethan, "Stay in there. I'll get you when he leaves."

"You know this is _really _uncomfortable!" a bitter voice says from inside the closet.

"I'm so sorry. I'll try and hurry him up." I say apologetically, "Wait, be quiet!" I shush him as I hear Dean walking back down the hall.

"Hear ya go." Dean comes in and sits back down on the side of my bed, handing me the Tylenol and a small paper cup of water. I place the pills in my mouth and swallow with the water before handing the cup back to Dean and gently lying down on my side.

"Thanks Dean." I try my best to look like a tired and sick little child, sticking out my bottom lip slightly as I place a hand on my 'aching' stomach.

"You sure you're good? You don't need anything else?" He double checks protectively while pushing a chuck of my blonde hair out of my face.

"Yeah" I smile sleepily, "I just need some sleep."

"Okay." Dean stands up and places a small kiss on my forehead, "Goodnight, Jenny. I hope you feel better."

"Thanks Dean" I mutter, watching carefully as he walks out of the room.

Once he is out of sight and I hear his door close I collapse back on the bed with a sigh, "That was close."

"Ethan, you can come out now." I say in a hushed tone, no longer wearing the tired expression.

I sit up and take off the big shirt, watching as Ethan opens the closet door and uncurls from his scrunched up position on the floor.

"He didn't hear me did he?" He walks over to the bed, lying down next to me so we are facing each other.

"No you're good." I smile placing a soft kiss on his lips. It is soft and gentle as he runs a hand through my hair. The kiss becomes hungrier and he raises himself on top of me.

"We really shouldn't be doing this." I breathe between kisses, "What if Dean hears?"

Ethan pauses, looking at me cautiously, "Do you wanna stop?"

I look up into his blue irises that are looking down at me so deeply it makes my breath hitch in my throat, "Just keep it down." I order, grabbing his face in my hands and bringing it to my lips.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We've gotta tell them soon." I inform Ethan as I step back into my jeans.

"Why? I'm kinda enjoying sneaking around like this. It's so…"

"If you say romantic I'm so going to call you a girl." I threaten, placing my black wife beater over my head.

"Well it kinda of is." Ethan defends watching me get dressed, already back into his clothes.

"Well in my opinion…" I state, running a hand through my hair to tame the messiness, "Doing it on the bathroom floor next to my toilet isn't that romantic."

Ethan sighs, sitting down on the edge of the tub. "Look, I'm sorry okay. But I really don't see this news going over well."

He's right. I can't even imagine how mad they'd be at me, let alone Ethan.

"Don't be sorry."

I walk over to where he is sitting on the tub and take a seat on his lap, my arms wrapped around his neck, his around my waist.

"We don't have to tell them. Besides, sneaking around isn't that bad."

"Really?"

"Yea, I mean, I guess it is kinda romantic." I smirk, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Now let's get out there before they realize were gone."

* * *

**Thanks so much for all the great reviews! Please keep them coming!**

**XOXO**


	23. Dirty Little Secret Pt 1

**Dirty Little Secret, Part 1**

I rest my head against the passenger window of the Impala, watching as the airport shrinks smaller into the distance. I knew that Ethan couldn't stay forever, but now that he is gone I feel like I had no notice. I would give anything to have him back with me. I wish we could be together, even with the distance. However we 'mutually' agreed that we should be with people we can actually spend time with. I know what he said made sense but that doesn't make it hurt any less. It probably sounds naïve and silly, but in my head I dreamed of this big romantic moment where in front of everyone at the airport he declared his love for me and vowed to never leave my side. But instead he told me it wouldn't work out with the distance and we should both find other people.

"Hey. Are you doing okay?"

I snap out of my daze to see Dean glancing at me cautiously from the wheel. I sigh, hating the idea of pretending that I'm okay, but not wanting to talk about it.

"I don't want to talk about it." I say with a fair amount of attitude.

"Are you sur…"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" I snap stubbornly, turning to the side so I am no longer facing Dean.

"Jenny, come on."

"Oh my god! Do you now how to keep your nose out of other peoples business?!" I yell still looking out the window as some sad tears come to my eyes.

"Hey!" He scolds me before lowering his voice gently, knowing I am just hurt, "I get that your upset about this, but don't give me attitude. I'm just trying to help you."

I turn around to face him, my face hurt and broken, and I speak gently trying to show no emotion "I'm sorry."

* * *

I sit in first period, barely listening to Mr. Shirley go on and on about how to measure the degree of an angle. I am mostly concerned with the little doodles that I am making on my notebook, so concerned that I don't even notice when the bell rings to signal the end of class.

"Jenny." Charlie gives me a nudge and snaps me out of my daze.

"What?"

"Class is over." She stands up, collecting her books off the table, "What's going on with you?"

I sigh, grabbing my books off the table and walking into the hallway with her, "It's just the Ethan thing."

"Why don't you call him?"

"It's way too awkward." I rule out, opening up my locker.

"I just don't want to see you all gloomy. Why don't we go to a party tonight?" She offers excitedly.

"Sorry I can't tonight. I'm going out of town with Sam and Dean." It's been a week since Ethan left and they figured a good salt and burn would make me feel a little better.

"Again? Where do you guys go? You're always going out of town."

"Yea, well my grandma is really sick. We go and see her a lot." I don't even hesitate with my lie as I place my Geometry book into my locker.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetie. What does she have?"

"Some heart thing. I'm not really sure what it's called. I've got to get to health class, but I'll talk to you later." I smile half heartedly as I grab my health book and close my locker. I give her a small wave as I turn and begin to walk to my next class.

* * *

Sam, Dean and I pull into the motel after working the whole day. We arrived in Kernersville, North Carolina this morning and drove to the latest victim's house to talk to her parents. In the last two months four teenage girls have been murdered while babysitting in this small country town.

"I am never gonna babysit!" I inform Sam and Dean beyond crept out by this disturbing case.

"Who would trust you with their kid?" Dean laughs as we get out of the car.

"Funny" I say deadpanned but he still finds it hilarious as he throws his head back on the way towards the trunk.

"I'll go check us in. Can you bring my bags in for me?"

"I got them." Sam offers, throwing my duffel around his shoulder.

I walk to the motel's main office and enter to see an unbelievably cute boy sitting behind the counter and watching a basketball game on a small television. He has a little roughness to him and is wearing a Jack Daniels shirt with a dirty pair of jeans.

"Can I have a room please?" I ask placing my hands on the counter.

He looks up from the TV and does a double take to get one last look at the game before he gets up.

"King or two queens?"

"Two queens." I smile courteously.

"Cash or Check?"

"You take master card?"

"Yep"

"Here ya go." I hand him one of Dean's cards, which technically belong to a Mr. James Goulding.

"So what brings you to Kernersville?" He catches me off guard as he scans the card.

"Oh, my brothers are on business. I just decided to tag along."

"Well I'm glad you did." He says casually with a smile as he hands the card back to me with a room key, "I'll be seeing you"

I can't help but stutter at his boldness, "Oh…uh, yea I'll see you around."

I smile nervously as his fingers graze mine when I grab the card and key which seems to make him smile more. I realize how much of a dork I must look like so I give a wave and turn around for the door.

"Bye" I mutter, walking out the door and into the parking lot as I repeatedly call myself an idiot in my head.

* * *

"Got it!" I yell to get Sam and Dean's attention. After searching the internet for two hours I finally found a lead. And I have to tell you it felt so great to do something productive. I don't have to sit around and wallow over Ethan.

"What is it?" Dean asks as him and Sam watch TV from their beds.

"Two weeks before the first murder, Rachel Page, age 8, was hit by a car when she wandered onto the road in front of her house."

"And why does that make her our killer?" Dean asks not seeing my point yet.

"Well that night she was being babysat while her parents were out at a party. The babysitter was making out with her boyfriend on the couch and didn't notice Rachel leave until she heard the commotion outside." I say as I grab some articles fresh from our printer and bring them to Sam and Dean.

"So the girl blames the irresponsible babysitter for her death." Dean figures.

"And now she is punishing babysitters who don't do their job fully." Sam finishes, the pieces finally come completely together in both of their heads.

"Exactly. And guess who the babysitter was?" I ask and I am persuaded by Sam and Dean to continue.

"Kara Prout."

"Our first victim." Sam says, putting the last piece of the puzzle together.

Dean nods his head satisfied, "Good work Jenny."

"Yeah, good catch."

"Thanks." I say pleased, but wanting to focus on destroying this spirit, "I found out she was buried at Saint Thomas' Cemetery which is only ten minutes away. I figure we could just take care of it tonight."

"The sooner the better" Dean agrees getting off of his bed and grabbing his weapon bag off the table. "Let's hit the road." He adds his normal smirk as he places his favorite gun in his coat and throws the bag over his shoulder. I grab one of Sam's baggy sweatshirts from his bed and follow them out of the door.

We get to the cemetery and I man the flashlight and look out as Sam and Dean dig up the grave. In a shockingly short amount of time the hole is completely dug and they have the casket open, revealing the gross and smelly corpse of Rachel Page. They climb out of the hole and Dean shakes the canister of salt followed by Sam who squirts in some lighter fluid.

"I'd say you should have the honors." Dean brushes some dirt off his jeans before reaching into the pocket and pulling out a box of matches.

"Me?" I ask astonished. The only other time I was able to actually burn the bones was when Sam was MIA and Dean was getting his butt kicked by the frickin' spirit.

"Yeah you" Dean assures me, pushing for me to take the matches which I anxiously do.

"Okay. Here goes nothing." I say as I grab hold of all the matches in the pack and light them against the box just like Dean does every time I've watched him salt and burn. I drop the fiery pack into the hole and watch as flames soon erupt from it charring the young girl's bones inside of it. We let it burn out before covering back up with the dirt and collected our supplies to head back to the motel.

* * *

I sit curled up on the big comfy chair in the corner of our motel watching the end of Die Hard on TNT. Dean and Sam had fallen asleep towards the middle of the movie, but the three cups of coffee I had this morning are keeping me awake. My head is cradled in the valley my knees create and my arms are wrapped around my legs. I sit comfortably with his presence looming in my mind. I remember looking into his eyes at the airport as he told me this wouldn't work out long distance. I remember as he tried to assure me that I should be with someone who could be there for me daily and treat me like I should.

Just thinking about it makes me want to scream out how much it sucks! I want to be with him! And now we haven't talked since that glorious day. I want to talk to him! He is the only person who knows exactly who I am. He knows all of my secrets and about what Sam, Dean and I really do.

I breathe heavily as I grab my cell phone next to me and stand up from the couch before walking out of the motel room. As I dial the number I sit on the curb of the parking lot in front of the space next to the Impala. I press the send button before I can think and convince myself this is a stupid idea. The ringing starts and my heart rate increases with every second. I think of hanging up the phone, but when I go to remove the phone from my ear he answers.

"Hello?"

"Hey." I say, smiley, so maybe he won't think I find it as awkward as I do, "It's Jenny."

"Jenny?" He sounds shocked and a little busy, "Hey, I haven't talked to you in a while."

"Oh…well…" I think of telling him I thought it would best to cool off after what happened, but I really don't want to bring that situation up, "…I'm on a hunt with Sam and Dean."

"Really? How's it going?"

"Good. I got to salt and burn a dead eight year old girl with a fetish for killing babysitters." I say as I pick at my torn jeans.

"Do I want to know the details?"

"Probably not." I laugh "So what's new with you?"

"Oh nothing much, I'm just…" He stalls as I hear a voice in the background.

"_Are you ready to go? The party started an hour ago."_ My mind freezes hurt as I hear the voice of a teenage girl in the background.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the wait everyone. I have a huge honors genetics project due Friday and it's been sucking up all of my time. Senior year is so overrated!**

**P.S. Thanks so much for all your reviews :) :) :)**


	24. Dirty Little Secret Pt 2

**A/N: So I may be hiding under a rock for the next few weeks after you read this. haha. ****Please don't kill me. I promise it's leading to somewhere important that will bring Jenny and the boys closer together :)**

* * *

**Dirty Little Secret, Part 2**

"_So what's new with you?"_

"_Oh nothing much, I'm just…" Ethan stalls as I hear a voice in the background._

"_Are you ready to go? The party started an hour ago." My mind freezes hurt as I hear the voice of a teenage girl in the background._

"Oh…Uh…" He stutters and I can almost hear him praying that I didn't hear her, but I did. It feels as if my body shuts down. I can hear him trying to talk to me, but I pull the phone away from my ear and close it shut, before staring at the device in my hands. It's been two weeks and he's already found someone new. Two weeks after he dumped me at the airport he is off with some other girl.

Before I know it tears are falling down my cheeks and coating my lips with their salty flavor. I sit, crying silently for almost twenty minutes as I cradle my head in my hands, wiping my nose with my sleeve every once in a while. Soon I feel a raindrop fall down on my face, mixing in with my tears. I think of going inside, but I know that I will wake Sam and Dean up with my crying and then they won't rest until I tell them what has happened.

I hear shoe scuffs on the wet ground and look up to see the boy from earlier. He looks apologetically as he walks over, closer to me.

"Sorry to interrupt, but you should probably go inside."

"I can't." I say quietly, looking down at my converse clad feet and wiping away my tears.

"Well it's raining and you're gonna freeze to death."

"It'll be less painful than going in there."

"Okay." He says walking in front of me, lowering a hand for me to take "Then come to my room…just to keep warm." He assures.

I finally look up into those beautifully bold brown eyes. I glance between his assertive eyes and his hand before finally taking a hold of his hand. He smiles as he pulls me into a standing position and I place my phone into my back pocket. He leads me to the first room next to the office and unlocks the door, holding it open for me. I look around the nice room impressed as I hold my shivering body.

"So you run the place or something?"

"Uh, no. I'm the boss's kid…Johnny." He explains as he walks to the bathroom, coming back with a large white towel. "Here you go." He says wrapping it around my thin frame.

"Thanks. I'm Jenny." I smile kindly as he walks towards his stereo which is resting on his nightstand.

"So if you don't mind me asking Jenny, what were you crying about?"

"It's a long story." I chuckle slightly as I sit down on the bed.

"I've got time." He assures, placing a CD in the CD player and walking back to me. He sits down on the bed, "Come on, tell me."

I sigh uneasily, but finely give in and talk to him. It really is so much easier to discuss these things with people you don't know. I tell him all about Ethan. I tell him about the party and the week after, and I tell him about the little slut on the phone.

"Whoa." He says quietly.

"Yea. I just…I thought he actually cared about me. I feel so stupid."

"Don't." He assures standing up and walking towards his mini fridge, "It's not your fault the guy is an ass."

I laugh away my tears as I watch what he pulls out of the fridge.

"What are you doing?" I ask sneakily.

"I think you could use this." He walks towards the side table with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two glasses.

"Oh, I don't know." I shake my head unsurely, trying to fight off the urge to take it.

"It'll help, trust me." He nods as he pours the whiskey into the clear cups. He screws the cap back on and walks towards me with the glasses, holding one out towards me as he sits next to me on the bed.

"Drink up." He holds his cups up, asking for me to do the same.

I still glance at him unsure, looking back and forth between him and the glass. Finally after he throws me a smirk I give in and clink my cup to his.

"Cheers" I smile. We both throw our glasses back, allowing the liquor to coat our lips. It burns slightly on the way down causing me to grimace, but once it is down I smile in satisfaction.

"How about another?" I push my now empty cup back towards Johnny which he gladly refills.

* * *

The morning sun dances threw the curtains, touching my face gently. I squirm at the warmth and flutter my eyes open which causes my head to erupt with pain. Letting out a groan I rub my head and squinted eyes as I sit up in the bed. Easing the pain in my eyes I hold the sheets close to me as once I feel the chilliness of the room.

_What happened last night? _

Just trying to remember makes my headache intensify. I open my eyes only a peek to look around the room to check my surroundings and my breath stops at what I find, instantly snapping me out of my funk. I see the hotel boy, whose name escapes me at the moment, lying in the bed next to me. From what I can see he has no clothes on and looking down at my own attire I can conclude I certainly do not.

"Shit! Oh Shit!" I scream jumping back off of the bed, holding the sheets even closer to my chest.

The boy awakens scared, jumping out bed, but relaxes with a laugh once he sees that it is me.

"God, you scared me."

"What the hell happened last night?!" I yell frantically as he gets into his boxers.

"Like you don't remember." He chuckles, walking over towards me "You were pretty amazing last night. Not many girls can…"

"Shut up! Just shut up! I just…I've …I've gotta get out of here." I mumble in a daze as I collect my clothes which are scattered all over the floor. In what feels like small flashes I step into my underwear and jeans before grabbing my bra off the side table, placing it on my chest and clipping the tab in the back. I find my white T on the top of the lamp shade and place it over my head, disgusted with my own self.

I throw around the comforter on the bed, looking for my black and pink converse. I pull up the pillows when I feel a hand around my waist.

"How long are you going to be in town for?" He whispers in my ear, causing me to jump back and out of his arms.

"Leave me alone!" I yell frustratingly, continuing my search "Where are my shoes?!"

"I don't know!" He yells at me, annoyed, "What the hell is your problem?"

I freeze in my current position of searching, before snapping my head up towards him.

"What is my _problem_? What is my…" I break off, laughing bitterly, "You know what?" I ask with distaste, "You are the lowest piece of scum that I have ever met in my entire life. And you can go fuck yourself!" I snap as I turn and open the door to the motel room, walking out into the daylight.

"That's okay!" I hear and pause in my place, but don't want to give him the satisfaction of turning around, "I think you took care of that for me last night! So don't try and act all high and mighty you little slut!"

I let out a deep breath and try repeatedly to convince myself that I am better than him and I don't need to respond.

"Oh and here are your shoes bitch!" He yells, throwing them it the parking lot, "No wonder your boyfriend found someone new!"

That's it.

I turn around and run at him full speed, not giving him a second to think before I have him on the ground.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" I yell, punching him in the face and causing him to fall on the ground. I scream madly as I hit him repeatedly, not stopping when he throws me a few good blows. He struggles to get on top, but I hold him down strongly as I yell at him through gritted teeth.

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A SLUT EVER AGAIN!!!"

"Get off me bitch!" He yells, but I am far to gone into my rage induced blackout.

I feel strong arms wrap around my waist, but I don't even begin to stop swinging as I am pulled away from the dick face. I thrash wildly in the sturdy arms that try and restrain me.

"Jenny stop!" I hear them yell and begin to recognize the voices, which start to snap me out of my daze. I can finally see clearly and observe Sam trying to get my attention as Dean holds me back.

"Jenny, what the hell is going on?!" Sam asks with his arms on my wrists.

"That bitch attacked me!" The boy yells from his position on the ground.

"Shut up!" Dean yells strongly to the boy, placing me down now that I have stopped struggling, "Jenny, What did he do?"

I back up and look back and forth between Sam and Dean, scared.

"He…I…He…" I break off not sure of what to say.

I don't want to let them know what happened. They would totally flip, and as much as I want to see this kid's limbs ripped from his body, Sam and Dean don't need another mark on their record. Plus I would never see the light of day again.

"Nothing, it was nothing. Can we go now please?"

"Jenny…" Sam starts.

"I took care of it, okay!" I yell grabbing my sneakers, giving the boy one last disgusted look before turning back to Sam and Dean, "Now can we go?"

Sam and Dean look between my pleading face and the boy's beaten one. Afraid of what they are going to say I decide to just insist.

"Whatever. I'm leaving. I'll get my things and take the bus!"

I turn around stubbornly and walk to our motel room, stomping my feet with every step. Entering the room I immediately grab my bathroom bag and clothes, throwing them hastily into my duffel. My breathing is heavy as I zip up the bag and throw it strongly over my shoulder and exit the motel room, slamming the door strongly behind me.

As I glance to the side I see Sam and Dean discussing something and the boy is no where in sight. They catch my eye so I look towards the road quickly as I walk off towards the side walk.

"Jenny!" Sam yells as he begins to walk after me.

"Jenny!" He repeats louder and with much more force but I refuse to stop my fast paced stride from halfway across the parking lot.

"Jennifer Elizabeth!" I hear and immediately stop in the middle of the parking lot. Sam has only called me that twice before. The first time was when he and Jess found out I was smoking and the next was when he came home from school early to find Katie and I had put pink streaks in our hair.

"I just want to go home!" I try to yell, but it comes out sounding exhausted.

"Then we'll go! But don't you ever try and take off on us!" He yells upset which makes me even more aggravated. Why is he so mad at me?! He should be in protective mode right now.

"Fine!" I start stomp off towards the Impala and walk right past Sam, "Hurry up with your crap because I don't want to be here any longer!"

"Hey!" Sam yells, coming up behind me quickly and grabbing my arm. He turns me around swiftly so I am facing him and I try to pull my arm out of his grasp.

"Hey, Let go of me!"

"No. We need to talk, Jenny! What the hell is going on?!"

"Nothing! Jesus Christ! Can we just go?" I beg ripping my arm out of his grasp and walking towards the Impala where Dean is resting against the side door.

"Jenny! You need to tell us what happened!"

"Nothing happened! The guy was just being a dick!" I exclaim, turning so I am facing both Sam and Dean.

"Well he had a different story." Dean says stepping away from the Impala.

My breath hitches in my throat, hoping and praying that the douche bag didn't tell them everything. Cautiously I open my mouth to speak "What did he tell you?"

I can tell this is hard for both of them. Dean looks pissed and slightly uncomfortable with the situation and Sam just looks like he wants to rip someone's head off, which is completely the opposite from how it usually is.

"He said…He said you two slept together last night." Sam tells me.

"That's a lie!" I spit out before even thinking. I feel bad for lying but there is no way that they could know the truth. I don't even like knowing the truth.

Dean and Sam both look at me questioningly, "You sure about that?" Dean asks.

"Yes!" I assure, "I was coming back from the coffee place down the street and I bumped into him. He started hitting on me. When I told him to beat it he started calling me a slut and was trying to touch me. So I hit him! Okay!" I breathe out heavily, partly from being tired and partly from feeling guilty.

"So are you guys still mad or what?" I ask looking back and forth between Sam and Dean's unreadable faces. Their expressions were changing almost every second.

"Mad?" Dean says, not being able to stop the small chuckle, "Try...delighted. In fact I don't think I've ever been this proud!" He defiantly has a proud smile on as he comes over and places an arm around my shoulders, which makes me feel even guiltier.

"But it does make me want to go and punch that jerk's face in myself."

"Please don't." I say pleadingly, backing up from Dean, "Can we _please _just head home."

Sam nods his head and walks towards me, placing an arm around me, "Yea. Let's get out of here."

He holds me tight and I can almost feel his guilt for accusing me. I bite my lip to keep my secret from spilling out of my mouth as I rest my head against him on our way to the car.

"I'm sorry Jenny. I should have trusted you. I know you would never do something like that."

"It's okay Sammy."

I bite my lip in shame as he places a kiss on my head before closing the backdoor, leaving me with my own thoughts to eat me alive.

* * *

**A/N: Searching for the perfect size rock to hide under as I type...**


	25. Bittersweet Memories

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed this story! 100 reviews! I can't believe it! I love you all who review. X O X O**

**Please continue to read and review!**

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

"Jenny." I hear as a soft knock wraps on my bathroom door "It's me." Charlie informs as she opens the door and looks down at me sadly.

"I'm going to have to tell them, aren't I?" I ask as I sit up slowly from my place on the floor.

Charlie walks over next to me quietly, sliding down so she is sitting next to me with her back against the toilet. It is now when I notice the small brown bag she has in her hands. Completely forgetting my previous question I throw out another.

"What is that?"

"Something you need." She says quietly, placing the bag in my hands.

It feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. And I can't seem to stare at it long enough. After taking a deep breath I finally get up the courage to open the top of the bag for a peek. Once my eyes catch a glimpse of the white and purple box on the inside I immediately close it and shove it back into Charlie's hands.

"Maybe it's too soon for this. I mean I still could just be late." I am trying harder to convince myself than I am to convince her.

"Sweetie, I now this is hard, but you can't just ignore it. You have to deal with it." She places a comforting hand on my shoulder as she holds up the bag "Just take it. I'll be right here with you. I promise."

I bite my lip as I hear her plea. My head nods silently as I grab the bag from her hands. I follow the appropriate directions and place the white stick down on the counter, not worrying about the germs I am leaving on the porcelain.

As we wait for the three minutes to pass Charlie keeps a comforting grasp on my hands, letting me know that I am not alone right now. The time drags on through the silence, with neither of us daring to speak until it is ready.

"It should be done." Charlie informs me softly, looking up from her watch.

I nod my head as I watch the pregnancy test, praying softly for this to all just be some bad dream. I stand up carefully and Charlie gives my hand one last squeeze. I walk to the counter and pick the test up in my hands. My eyes see the small pink plus, the one that represents everything I was dreading, and my heart instantly drops. I let out a shaky breath as I turn around to Charlie.

"It's positive." I say, letting out a large and helpless cry.

Charlie immediately jumps up from her spot on the tub and wraps her arms around me, rubbing a soothing hand on my back as I fall apart in her arms.

"It's gonna be okay, Jenny Bean" She is trying to stay hopeful, but her voice falters, "We'll figure this out. You're gonna be okay."

* * *

"_Push Jenn. Come on, you're doing so good." Sam says encouragingly as he lets me squeeze his hand tightly._

"_Just a little longer." Dean encourages from the other side with a hand helping to support my back and another clutching my other hand.._

"_Ahhhh! Just please make it stop!" I cry through the panting and excruciating pain._

"_One more push, Jenny." The doctor says, "You're almost there!"_

"_No please! Don't make me do it anymore! Please! I can't!" I cry, laying my head back onto the hospital pillow._

"_Yes you can. Come on." Sam and Dean persuade as they pull me back up. _

"_You're almost done. Don't you want to meet your daughter?" Dean persuades as Sam puts a cool washcloth to my sweaty forehead._

"_Ugh!" I cry, just wanting the pain to be over._

"_Come on Jen. This is it. Push!" The doctor coaches as another contraction hits and I bear down with my chin to my chest, gritting my teeth._

"_Ahhhhh!" I yell, grabbing their hands tightly as my body feels like it is being ripped in two._

"_She's out!" The doctor smiles and I look down to see him holding her up. He doesn't even give her a wipe before he places her directly onto my chest. But once I see her little face and hands I don't even mind all of the blood as I pull her closer to me._

"_Hey, baby girl." I cry, giving her a kiss on the head as happy tears pour down my face "You're so tiny!"_

_A doctor allows Sam to cut the cord before he takes her from my arms to the corner of the hospital room, giving her a good cleaning. _

_Sam smiles, getting a wet strand of hair out of my face and giving me a kiss on the forehead. "You did it Jen. She's beautiful. Just like her mom." _

_I hold onto Sam's hand which continues to cup my face, "I couldn't have done it without you…either of you." I say, turning towards Dean._

"_Here you go momma." The Doctor exclaims happily, placing my daughter in my arms. She is bundled in a blanket and has a pink hat on her head, covering her light blonde hair._

"_I'm so proud of you Jenny." Dean gives me a kiss on the cheek before placing a hand on the baby in my arms "Did you decide on a name for her yet?"_

"_Yea" I smile, looking into my daughter's beautiful blue eyes "Jessica…Jessica Lynn. What do you think?" I ask looking up to a beaming Sam and Dean._

"_It's perfect." Sam says, tears rimming his eyes. I look back down at the little girl in my arms. Her blond hair is very thin and faint and as I bring my hand to her mouth she begins to suckle my pinkie finger gently._

"_I don't know about the name." I hear someone say sardonically and I snap my head up. _

_The hospital room is now dark and Sam, Dean and the Doctor are nowhere in sight. I look down and I am relieved to see my daughter still secure in my arms. The voice comes from a shadowy part of the room where I can only see the outline of a figure._

"_I mean, is it really that nice of a gesture?" Finally the figure comes to light. Her blond hair is perfectly waved as she steps out in a white nightgown. _

"_Jess…" I breathe out "You look beautiful." _

"_So this is my niece." There is an attitude of carelessness that doesn't remind me of Jess at all._

"_I named her after you."_

"_I heard." She informs coldly, "Real nice by the way. Honor you're sister with you're bastard child."_

"_Wh…What?"_

"_Who is the father anyway? Oh, that's right." She smirks, "You don't know."_

"_What's happening?" I wonder out loud, shaking my head, "You're not my sister."_

"_I'll give you that one. I mean the little sister I left behind would never be stupid enough to get knocked up at sixteen. Nice one."_

"_Shut up." I cry, shaking my head._

"_It's not my fault you turned into a slut. It's a shame because you had so much potential. But now you're just a big disappointment." _

"_Stop!" I yell._

"_Mom and Dad hate you now too. Why wouldn't they. You're a little slut!"_

"_Stop it! Stop! Just stop!"_

_---_

"STOP!"

I wake up in a cold sweat, similar to the one I had in my dream. Looking down I see no baby and, luckily as I place a hand on my stomach, no baby bump. I scoot up so now I am sitting up on my bed, with my back against the wall. My arms cradle around my legs as tears fall softly down my face.

It was almost two hours ago at seven o'clock when I finally worked up the courage to call the local clinic. And after hanging up the first time I made an appointment to take an official pregnancy test for tomorrow.

Tears come pouring down my eyes as I begin to choke on my own sobs. I just feel alone and scared. I really want to talk to Sam, but the thought of telling him scares me half to death.

How could this be happening? I'm only sixteen years old. I'm not even old enough to take care of myself and now I might have to take care of another human being. Someone so innocent, with no idea of what goes on in this horrible and messy world we live in.

I let out a shaky sob as tears begin to fall onto the bare of my legs, not covered by my black shorts.

_Knock knock_

"You okay, Jenny? I thought I heard you yelling."

I look up quickly to see Sam opening the door and sticking his head in with a smile. Seeing his face causes me to let out another giant sob, and he immediately becomes aware that I have been crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, coming quickly to me. He sit's down on the bed in front of me, his hands comfortingly on my knees.

I shake my head through my heavy cries. I can't tell him this. It will completely ruin him. Sam has done so much for me and I don't want him to feel like a failure.

"Jenny" He says strongly, cupping my cheek in his hands, "Are you okay?"

"N…no" I choke out through my heavy sobs.

"Then tell me what is wrong." His voice is so soft and gentle as his thumb caresses my cheek, wiping at my tears.

"I…I…You're gonna hate me." I cry, shaking my head.

"Hey, hey." Sam soothes, "I could never hate you."

"I hate me!" I yell, causing Sam to raise his head slightly, even more unsure and scared as to the subject of our conversation.

"I'm so sorry Sammy." I cry, "I let you down. I let everyone down!"

"Hey" He stops me with a hug. My crying face rests gently on his shoulder as he runs a strong hand up and down my back.

"It's okay, Jenny. It's all gonna be okay."

"How do you know that?" I question, unconvinced and helpless.

"You have Dean and me with you. And we are _never_ going to let anything happen to you." He says with his forehead rested upon mine.

I nod my head, ready to get this off of my chest. Pulling back from the hug, his hands still rested on my knees, I look up into his chocolate colored orbs.

"I'm pregnant."

His face is slowly turning to one of horror and disbelief. The expression alone turns me back into a blubbery mess. Tears pour down my cheeks as I can see him pull his hands back from my knees and process this information. He stands up from the bed, pacing back and forth while giving me glances of dismay.

"You…You can't. You've never…." His eyes are so lost, like he isn't sure what to believe.

"I'm so sorry." I cry, no longer able to look him in the eyes "I'm so so sorry."

He finally stops his pacing, standing directly in front of me, "Are you sure?"

"I took a test." I wrap my arms around the pit of my stomach, "It was positive."

"Well, maybe it's wrong. They can be wrong. You know that!" He grasps at straws as he refers to the situation that we both remember so well, when he and Jessica had a false alarm.

"I know." I cry, "I tried to tell myself that. But I'm late and I keep having these cramps, I'm vomiting, and I am peeing all the time!"

He shakes his head, letting out a few tears.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I didn't want this to happen. Please don't hate me." I say as hard sobs begin to wreak my body, "I'm so sorry."

I feel Sam sit back down on the bed and pull me into his chest roughly, allowing me fall apart in his arms. My back heaves as I choke on the hard sobs coming out of my mouth.

"Shhh…" He soothes and I can hear the cries from him as well, "It'll be okay. I promise."

"I didn't mean to." I cry, "Please…please don't hate me"

"Shhh…" Sam rubs my back gently and kisses the top of my head as he softly whispers through his tears, "I love you."

* * *

"How could you do this Jennifer?!" Dean asks looking down on me, "Who…Who did this to you? I want his name _now_!"

It is the question I was wondering myself. I have no idea. I pray that it's Ethan, but who knows. I bite me lip, wondering if I should just tell them that it's with out a doubt Ethan's baby. But if I do they are defiantly going to hunt him down and let him know, and knowing Ethan he would want to step up and raise the baby. That would then leave me with a man that may or may not be the father of a baby that I am too young to have. I can't lie. Feeling like a slut is bad enough, I don't want to add selfish liar to the list.

"I…I don't know." I sigh.

Sam and Dean both look at me curiously "What do you mean, you don't know?" Sam asks, scared.

"I…"

"Jenny, did someone…did they…" I can sense what Dean is alluding to.

"No!" I yell, "No, not that." My response gives Sam and Dean immediate relief.

"Well then who is the father?"

"I don't know." I cry, "But it might be Ethan."

"Ethan?!" Dean yells, "We bring him down here and this is how he repays us!"

"Dean!" Sam yells, before motioning back to a crying me, which causes Dean to calm down immediately.

"What do you mean it might be Ethan's?" Sam asks.

"Well…" Oh god. I think the thought of the actual childbirth maybe more appealing than this conversation. "There was this other guy…"

"Jennifer..." Sam sighs, disappointed "Who was it?"

"That guy from the hotel. The one I punched in the face."

"So you lied to us. You _did _sleep with him!" Dean and Sam both look visibly angry, Dean more so.

"I'm sorry." I cry, "It's just…Ethan had a new girlfriend and this guy let me talk to him about it. I didn't want to sleep with him, but we drank a little and well…"

"Oh God." Sam groans.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back. The guy was a pig. He…he started calling me a slut because I didn't want to sleep with him again the next morning."

"That's when you punched him?" Sam questions.

"I would have punched him!" Dean states.

"Please, Can we just deal with this tomorrow at the appointment? I just want to sleep." I say fed up and uncomfortable with the conversation. I don't want to have to think about this right now.

Sam and Dean defiantly want to talk more, but my exhausted and tear stained face must get them.

"Sure." Sam says coming over to help me up which I quickly do myself once I notice.

"I can walk by myself." I mumble.

* * *

"Stop fidgeting. You're making me nervous." I tell Sam and place a hand on his knee for a moment to stop it from jumping.

He looks up, obviously not aware of what he was doing and looks at me sheepishly, "Sorry"

"Were you this nervous with Jess?" I ask.

He thinks back to the time him and Jess had their scare, "Yea, pretty much."

"What about Jess?" I ask, catching him off guard, "Was she nervous?"

"Uh…Yea, She was. But don't you remember?" He asks.

I do remember, like it was yesterday. It was one of the scariest times of my life. I only lived with them for a year and figuring they wouldn't want to handle both a teenager and a baby I thought I might be hitting the road.

---FLASHBACK---

_September 2004_

_I come home early from school, closing the door behind me. Usually I have to stay after for math class on Wednesdays, but I actually understand what we're learning this week. _

_I walk into the living room and place my messenger bag down onto the coffee table. I am about to call out for Sam and Jess, who should be home before their afternoon psychology class, when I hear them speaking loudly their bedroom. As I get closer to the door I can hear the conversation._

"_Maybe it's wrong. I mean I'm not even that late."_

"_Can they even be wrong?"_

"_I don't know!" Jess huffs._

"_Hey, it's okay. If you are pregnant we'll deal with it…together."_

_Pregnant. Jess is pregnant. Oh my god. They are going to be having a baby, a small person that depends on them and only them. Then where does that leave me? I can't expect them to take care of a moody teenager and a crying baby all at the same time. They're only twenty one for god sakes. _

_I go to my room and try to concentrate on my homework at my desk, not wanting to face them right now because there is no way they are going to tell me the truth about what is going on. I am in my room until they comeback from their psych class. They call out to make sure I got home and I respond shortly. In about half an hour Sam comes knocking on my door._

"_Dinner's ready, Jenny."_

"_Can I eat in my room?" I ask, not looking up from my computer._

"_Why. What you working on?" He comes further into my room, sitting down on my bed._

"_It's one of those 'get to know you' essays the teachers just love to give out in the beginning of the school year." My smile is less than enthusiastic._

"_Well, how about you come and have some dinner at the table and then I'll help you finish it." He offers._

"_Hmm…" I say sneakily "Any chance that by help you mean do it for me?"_

"_Nice try." He says standing up "Now let's go."_

_I smile as I join him and walk into the kitchen where Jess is putting the pasta and salad on the table._

"_Hey." She smiles as I sit down at the table and pulls on my ponytail lightly, "How was school?"_

"_It's school, so…well it sucked." I smile brightly as I put some salad on my plate and cover it with a little ranch dressing. "What about your day? Anything eventful happen with you guys?" _

_They give each other a small nervous glance from across the kitchen, and they must think I'm stupid because they think that I can't see it._

"_Nope, nothing. What do you want to drink?" Sam asks, trying to change the subject._

"_Diet coke, please." I say, watching as they act like they obviously have a secret. These two are so ridiculous. They can't keep a secret from anyone._

_Sam brings over the sodas and him and Jess both sit down with me at the small round dinner table. Some endless and dumb conversation goes on for about fifteen minutes when it finally becomes to much for me to deal with._

"_So are you guys going to tell me?" I cut them off in the middle of their conversation, causing them to both look at me curiously._

"_Umm…Tell you about what?" Jess chuckles._

"_About the baby." I say, causing Jess's smirk to clear up fast. Her and Sam both place down their silverware, looking at me curiously._

"_How?…Have you been spying on us Jen?" Jess asks scared and defensive._

"_No! I got home from school early and heard you in the bedroom. This is my house to you know!" I yell, offended that I am being accused of snooping, "Well for now at least." I sneer as I stand up from the table and walk towards my room._

---END FLASHBACK---

"Jennifer Jeurgens" I hear, causing me to slip out of my daze. I look to Sam and we both stand up, walking towards the nurse in purple scrubs. She takes my height and weight in the hallway before leading Sam and I to an exam room. After taking the normal routine information she pulls a gown and a small blue blanket out from the large drawer under the exam table.

"You're going to need to change into these. I'll give you some privacy." She informs me before leaving.

I glance up at Sam nervously. This all feels so surreal, and nothing is going to make it feel real. I just want to go home and not have to deal with any of this, ever.

"I can leave, Jen." Sam motions towards the door.

"No!" I grasp his hand, "Please don't go. Could you just…turn around?"

He nods and obliges to my needs. Once I have the gown on and tied in the back I sit down on the table, letting my legs dangle down off the side and the small blue blanket rest on my lap.

"You can turn back around." I inform him.

He turns around, walking back over to me and sitting in the chair next to me. We both sit in awkward silence until the doctor comes in. She is a woman that appears to be in her early thirties and has pretty dark blond hair that is cut in a bob and frames her face nicely.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lewis."

"Hi." Sam and I both say politely but quietly.

"So Jenny, we're gonna start off today by taking some blood and then we're going to do a pelvic exam."

I nod uncomfortably. And for once the needle didn't sound like the worse part of the doctor's appointment.

"And this is?" She's motioning towards Sam.

"My brother"

"Okay. Well he can stay for the blood work, but he's going to have to leave for the exam." She informs both of us politely.

"Okay" I nod, grasping onto Sam's hands as she makes her way over with the blood work equipment.

The blood work is done quickly and Sam leaves as the doctor gets the equipment for the pelvic exam, but not before giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

The doctor comes back with the necessary tools and tells me to put my feet in these stir ups, which are about as fun as they look.

She informs me she is going to begin and I close my eyes, trying to think of anything else. I just want to enter a world where none of this is real.

---FLASHBACK---

"_Jenny, I'm sorry. Will you please just open the door?" Jessica asks from outside of my room._

"_Why should I?!"I yell from my spot, curled up on my bed._

"_Because we need to talk about this."_

"_About what?!" I yell stubbornly. _

"_Sweetie, why would you think we would make you leave? That's just crazy."_

_My head rises instantly. I slowly get off my bed and walk over to my door, unlocking and opening it._

_I peek my head through the small crack of space, "You wouldn't make me go?" _

"_Of course not Junebug…" She smirks, using my childhood nickname given to me by my Dad, "I hate to inform you of this, but you're never getting rid of us" _

_I open the door a bit more, a smile growing happily on my face, "So I'm going to be an aunt?"_

"_We're still not sure about that one." She laughs, "But you'll always be a sister. Don't ever doubt that."_

_Jessica opens her arms wide enough for me to step into them, which I do. I squeeze her tightly before stepping back, addressing both her and Sam who is sitting behind her on the couch._

"_I'm sorry I freaked out on you guys." I apologize, "I guess I just got scared that I would lose my family again."_

"_Well that is never going to be an issue…" Jess places a hand on my cheek as Sam walks next to her, placing an arm around her waist. _

"_You'll always have us, Jenny." Sam adds._

"_Promise?" I ask._

"_Promise" He assures, pulling me lovingly into his and Jessica's embrace._

_I giggle as Sam ruffles my hair playfully before we all pull away from the hug. Jess glances at the clock before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the couch._

"_Perfect timing, Junebug. The Office is about to start."_

_We both walk over and collapse onto the couch as Sam slowly walks over with us, giggling at our mandatory weekly routine._

---END FLASHBACK---

* * *

Sam opens the front door for me and I walk in cautiously. I feel so on edge. Everything in my life is so unpredictable, I am afraid of what may happen next. Sam walks in behind me and closes the door, placing a hand on my back as I stay standing in the entryway.

"You want to go up stairs and get some rest Jenny?" His voice is gentle and careful as he speaks to me.

I only glance up at him once before looking back down and nodding my head, my lips not once moving.

"Sammy?"

I hear Dean call from the back office. I sigh immediately, knowing Dean is going to have to find out as well. This knowledge causes my stomach to turn in an unsettling fashion as small Goosebumps form on the pale skin of my arms. As my body tenses Sam immediately puts an arm around me, pulling me close and allowing me to rest my head against his chest.

"It's okay" He whispers soothingly into my ear.

"Sam?" Dean asks, becoming visible as he walks out from the living room, trying to assess the situation with his eyes, knowing that it would be easier on me to not have to ask any questions. Unfortunately he must not be able to tell because he begins to part his lips, so I decide to choose this moment to speak.

"Sammy, I'm really tired." I can hear my voice sounding weak and worn-out, "Can I stay home from school tomorrow. I just want to sleep."

Dean looks confused and curious as Sam looks down at me tenderly, "Yeah sweetheart. Why don't you go upstairs and get in some comfy clothes. I'll be up in a minute."

I nod, before walking past Dean and up the stairs, too scared to look him in the eyes. I get to the top and begin to walk down the hallway but I stop in my place, listening as Sam walks into the living room and Dean follows him.

"Sammy, what happened? Is Jenny okay?"

"I highly doubt that." Sam sighs.

I walk back to the stairs, sitting down on the top step and leaning my head against the wall, my body no longer having the strength to hold it up.

"So she is pregnant?"

"No" Sam says and I can hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"No?" Dean checks, "Well that's good news…Isn't it?" Sam's face must not be showing as much enthusiasm.

"She has Gonorrhea Dean." I swear I can hear the single tear travel down Sam's cheek.

"She…She has…What?! How?!"

"The doctor said that the Gonorrhea led to her getting something called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. And that apparently the symptoms mixed together can very occasionally resemble pregnancy."

"And what about the test she took? It was positive!"

"They can be wrong Dean." Sam explains.

"Jesus…" Dean's voice lowers as he takes in all of the information, but it doesn't stay that way for long, "What was the name of that motel we stayed at?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to kill the fucking bastard!"

Dean yells as he walks into the hallway. I watch as he hastily grabs his brown leather jacket off the coat rack. He throws it on before turning around to yell to Sam, but once he does he sees me at the top of the stairs, watching and listening. He instantly pauses, staring sadly at me, which spooks me out of my statue like stillness. I immediately jump up and make a run for my room like a scared little child, entering my room before Dean can call for me.

I shut the door behind me, pressing it strongly to make sure it is closed. Once it is I wander into my room. Thoughts can't even seem to make it to my brain as I pace back and forth slowly, hugging my body with my hands.

I hear the door open and stop my pace, turning towards the open door to see Dean standing there, still in his leather Jacket. He walks in and closes the door before walking closer to me.

"I'm sorry about what you heard back there Jen." His voice is quiet, more vulnerable than I have heard since I've known him. "Are you okay?"

My heart is beating quickly as I stutter "I…I…Yea…I…" Finally I compose my breathing and manage to get out a full thought, "I don't think so."

I look up at Dean, who nods his head understandingly. I open my mouth to speak, struggling to find the words yet again as my breathing is labored and my heart is thumping and an uncomfortably fast rate.

"I just…I feel so…I feel…stupid. And I feel gross and…and dirty!" Tears build up in my eyes as I bite my lip, shaking my head, "And I feel…I feel so ashamed."

Dean looks down at me sadly, wanting to take away all of the pain that I am feeling. I know that he will eventually give me a hug, but I feel so alone that I can't wait as I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"I'm sorry." I cry into his chest.

He wraps his arms around me strongly, squeezing my shoulders. I feel him rest his cheek against my head, running his hand over my soft but messy honey blonde locks.

"I never meant for this to happen." I cry.

"I know" He speaks, placing a kiss on the top of my head, "I know you didn't."

I cry until it hurts, until I am so tired that my legs are practically giving out from under me. And Dean is with me the whole time, hushing my cries and rubbing a soothing hand across my heaving back. As my cries are now soft incoherent mumbles and my body is close to limp, Dean scoops me up in his arms and carries me to my bed, laying me softly down on the cotton sheets. My eyes are closed and I am close to sleep as I feel him cover me with the blanket and place a small kiss on my forehead. I adjust my self tiredly before whispering with my last awake breath.

"I love you, Dean."

And before my mind completely drifts into unconsciousness I hear him speak quietly.

"I love you too, Jenny."

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**Reviews are love!**


	26. Shadow of the Day

**A/N:** Sorry it's taken so long guys! The first semester just ended last friday so I had five tests tat week and two projects due on friday. I was busy, busy, busy. And a special thanks to whereinthewrld who gave me a genius storyline for Jenny! It's not coming up for a few more chapters, but it's gonna be huge! Thanks so much! X O X O.

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**Shadow of the Day**

"_Shut up!" I cry, shaking my head._

"_It's not my fault you turned into a slut. It's a shame because you had so much potential. But now you're just a big disappointment." _

"_Stop!" I yell._

"_Mom and Dad hate you now too. Why wouldn't they? You are a little slut!"_

"_Stop it! Stop! Just stop!"_

I jump up in my bed, panting heavily as beads of sweat coat my light skin. This is the fourth time I have had the same dream. She would taunt me mercilessly and call me a slut with such hatred and anger it left me shaken up all night.

And in my usual routine, I stand up from my bed and tiptoe down the hall, careful not to hit the one floorboard by Dean's bedroom that squeaks. I pass it quietly and walk into the entrance of Sam's bedroom. I walk quietly to the side of his bed, making sure I don't stub my toe on his bed like I did last time.

"Sam" I whisper quietly, trying to wake him, "Sam"

He turns over, mumbling words of nonsense as he battles with sleep.

"Sam" I repeat, finally getting him to open his eyes. They are only open slightly as he looks up at me with sad eyes.

"Another nightmare?"

I nod my head sadly, but not looking him in the eyes. Having nightmares as a kid was embarrassing and this is about ten times worse.

"We really should talk about this, Jenny." He says, sitting up a bit more, wiping his exhausted eyes.

"Not now. Please."

I plead with puppy eyes and a quivering lip, and it doesn't take long for Sam to give in.

"Come on."

He pulls back the dark blue covers that I helped him pick out and scoots over, allowing me to crawl in.

Once I lay down he puts his arm around me, pulling me close as I rest my head on his chest. No longer having any doubts of my safety, I immediately fall asleep after he places a small kiss protectively on my forehead.

* * *

"Jenny…" Someone whispers softly, causing me to turn over and stubbornly bring a pillow to my exposed ears.

"Come on, sleepyhead." Sam laughs "We have a hunt to go on."

My head immediately snaps up with my hairs sprawled messily across my face "What?!"

"Hunt. Today. Get Ready." Sam says as he gets clean clothes out of his dresser drawers and places them in his duffel bag, which is at my feet.

"How far away is it?" I ask tiredly, getting up and flattening out the wrinkles in one of Dean's large AC/DC shirts that I use as Pajamas.

"Chicago." Sam informs me, "Hurry up because we want to get there by tomorrow."

"Okay." I yawn, walking out of the room and down the hall to mine. I wasn't thrilled about leaving this early but at least it distracts Sam from inquiring about the dreams.

Once I get into my room I pack enough clothes for a week, just incase it takes that amount of time, which is enough to fill two duffels. And I make sure that my IPod and Laptop are fully charged before putting them in their cases along with the appropriate chargers and other accessories.

I ponder weather I shoulder change out of my Band T and flannel plaid pajama pants, but decide against it. I'll probably sleep most of the ride anyway.

"Ready?" Dean asks popping his head in through my door.

"Yeah" I nod "Can you just grab this bag for me?" I ask, pointing to my laptop case which I cannot fit in my arms that are occupied with my other two bags and my purse. He nods his head before grabbing my extra bag.

"Nice shirt, thief." He mutters to me before walking past me and down towards the Impala.

* * *

Once we got to the city Sam and Dean went out to do some undercover work, which hilariously required costume. I stayed back and did some research about our phantom killer which had already taken the life of a man, Ben Swordstrom, and more recently a young woman who worked at a downtown bar, Meredith Mcdonell. After looking up all of the information on them the internet had to offer I decided to take a nap.

I've been lying on the surprisingly comfy bed for about fifteen minutes when I hear the door open and once I glance up I see Sam enter the motel room.

"How's the research coming?" He asks, throwing the keys down on the table.

"Done." I smile up at him.

"And how are you feeling?" He asks concerned, making me groan.

"I feel fine. My antibiotics are working so the nausea is gone."

"How about mentally?" Sam asks, staring me down like he thinks I'm not telling him how I feel. Maybe I'm not. But this really isn't the time to talk about how I'm feeling. We've got a case to work on and I know that it should come first.

"I'm fine, okay? Where's Dean?" I change the subject. Which Sam definitely takes notice of, but decides not to call me on.

"Down at the bar where Meredith worked. I told him I'd meet him there." He explains, looking over the research that I printed out.

"Can I come?"

"To a bar?" He asks skeptically.

"No." I smile "To a Bar _AND_ Grill. Completely different."

"Oh really?" He laughs.

"Yep. Plus I'm starving. Please Sammy."

He sighs reluctantly "You can come, but you have to stay with me the whole time."

"Deal." I stand up and grab my jacket.

"Let's go." I smile as Sam grabs the entire stack of papers I printed out on the victims and places them in his father's leather bound notebook.

* * *

We enter the building and after glancing around we see Dean at the bar flirting with one of bartenders. Once he catches our glance he finishes off a shot before saying goodbye to the brunette and walking over towards us as we sit down at a small table.

"Talked to the bartender..." Dean informs us.

"We saw." I grin, "Nice work ethic by the way."

"Hey. I'm offended…"

"Dean." Sam interrupts, wanting to get down to business.

Dean rolls his eyes before informing Sam, "There's nothing to find out. Meredith worked here, she waited tables. Everyone here is her friend. Everyone here says she is normal. She didn't do or say anything strange before she died. So what about that symbol? You find anything?"

I begin to faze out of the conversation, having been informed of it all on the ride over. I put my elbow on the table, propping my head up on my hand, watching as a group of boys down a round of Irish car bombs. I laugh as one boy doesn't drink his quick enough and his face turns sour, spitting out the remains of the drink in his mouth as it begins to curdle.

"Sam?" Dean asks, bringing my attention back to our table.

I look over to see Sam stand up and begin to walk across the bar. He approaches a girl with pixie blond hair. His hand taps her on the shoulder and when she notices him she immediately embraces him in a hug. A sense of anger bubbles in my stomach as Dean throws me a questioning gaze. Shrugging my shoulders we both stand up and walk over towards him and his 'friend'.

"Gosh, Sam. What are the odds we'd run into each other?" She says with an annoying smile. I harden my stance with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Yea I know. I thought I'd never see you again." Sam sounds friendly, like he actually likes this girl, which makes my hatred for her grow.

"Well, I'm glad you were wrong." She offers Sam a smile and they just stare at each other which is just plain sickening. I feel like I may vomit when Dean steps in, clearing his throat suggestively.

The blonde snaps her head towards him rudely, defiantly catching Dean off guard, "Dude, cover your mouth."

"Uhh…Yea, I'm sorry Meg" Sam begins. So the tramp's name is Meg. "This is my brother Dean."

She opens her mouth wide in realization, "Ohh…So this is Dean."

Dean smiles cockily, "So you've heard of me?"

"Oh yeah. I've heard of you. Nice, the way you treat your brother like luggage." She says, disgusted with him.

I open my mouth, shocked, as Dean looks at her confused, "Sorry?"

"Why don't you let him do what he wants to do? Stop dragging him over god's green earth?!"

That's it. I can't take skanky little miss know-it-all anymore.

"Excuse me! Who the hell are you?!" I yell, stepping forward slightly with a strong stance and my hands on my hips, "You don't even know Dean, so why don't you just shut your mouth!"

"Jenny!" Sam scolds, but Dean is still wiping off shock from Meg's attack.

"No! She can't just attack Dean like that!"

"You must be Jenny." She smiles sweetly and I can tell she is trying to get me on her side.

"Wow, you're smart. How'd you figure that out?" I laugh mockingly with a little bite.

"Listen, I know you may feel threatened. Your sister was…."

I immediately jump closer, with such strong anger and my fists clenched so tight that I can feel my fingernails pierce the inside of my palm.

"Don't you dare talk about my sister! And don't you try to be nice to me! I swear to god, if you ever talk about her again I will fuc…" I am cut off by Dean's hand covering my mouth and one of his arms wrapping around my torso.

"We're just gonna head over here." He informs with a fake smile as he nods towards the other side of the room. He then walks me towards an empty table away in that direction, his hand still covering my mouth as I fume with anger.

"Someone needs a serious therapy session." He sits me at a table, and removes his hand from my mouth.

"I'm sorry, but who the hell was that girl? Acting like she knew all about you! And how dare she talk about Jessica?! I fucking hate her!" I yell the last part in her direction, knowing well that she can't hear me, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Hmm…" Dean smirks, "Would this have anything to do with Sam maybe liking her?"

"He doesn't like her!"

"Jenny?" Dean questions.

I sigh, before I roll my eyes and admit defeat, "Maybe. But it's just weird. Sam has always been with Jess, for as long as I've known him." I bite my lip uncomfortably, "I don't know if I can stand seeing him with anyone else."

Dean nods, sitting down next to me, "Sammy's a big boy Jenny. And you realize that he probably at one point or another is going to meet someone he really likes. You want him to be happy right?"

I nod, feeling guilty, "I do. It's just going to be hard, that's all."

Dean places a hand on my shoulder comfortingly, "Come on, Lets get out of here."

I smile up at him, "But I still don't like that girl."

"Me neither." He confirms, and I stand up from my chair.

We walk to the exit and stand outside, rating how drunk girls are as they walk by while we wait for Sam to come out.

Once he does he has a private chat with Dean before they call me over. "You're going to head back to the motel with Dean." Sam informs me.

"Where are you going?"

He and Dean exchange an awkward glance, and I immediately catch on, "Please tell me you're not going with Meg!"

"Jenny…"

"No! Sam, she's a bitch!"

"Jenny! I think there is something going on with her. So I'm going to go and check up on her and make sure there is nothing out of the ordinary."

"Oh" I nod, wanting to ask exactly how they met, but deciding this may not be the best time, "Will you be back tonight?"

"Yeah" He nods, "Just go back with Dean. He'll pick you guys up some dinner on the way."

"Okay, I'll see you back at the motel." I give Sam a goodbye smile before turning around and walking the two blocks back to our motel with Dean.

* * *

"Ughhh! This case is hopeless!" I groan with a mouthful of pepperoni pizza as I sit Indian style on my bed, looking over the victim's information.

Dean holds his finger up to me, finishing a conversation on the phone. "Of course. Thanks so much, Amy. You really are a true American. I'll have to call you back later about that drink. Okay, bye." He says with his flirting smile before hanging up the phone.

"What was that?" I laugh.

"If you laugh I won't share the new info I just got from my 'friend' Amy at the police department." He says as he crosses his arms over his chest and cocks his face threateningly.

I quickly close my lips, dying for the news. "I won't speak. Promise."

"Well…" He begins standing up, "Turns out Meredith was adopted."

"Okay?" I don't see the point yet.

"She was born in Lawrence, Kansas."

* * *

This is what I have been waiting for, the chance to finally kill the evil son of a bitch that took my sister away from me forever. I want to rip this bastard limb from limb, and it just happens to be a bonus that Meg may be collateral damage.

I come out of the bathroom in a fresh pair of low rise jeans and a knitted grey shirt decorated with small black skull and cross bones. I walk down the hallway towards the bedroom where Sam and Dean are getting ready.

"I'm not gonna live this life forever." I hear Sam say in a very gentle voice, so I decide to back up against the wall so I won't be seen. "Dean, when this is all over you're gonna have to let me go my own way."

"What about Jenny?" Dean asks, this is exactly the question I was just thinking in my head.

"Don't you want her to have a normal childhood, Dean? Do you really want her to grow up like we did?"

"So…So that is gonna be it. You guys take off and go live some apple pie life and I don't get to see either of you again?" I can tell Dean is hurting. He probably feels just like I do. Like he is going to be loosing the only family he has if we leave.

"You'll see us, just not as much." Sam explains.

I have that fear rolling around in the pit of my stomach, the one that I now find all too familiar. I feel as if I have a large lump in my throat and as if tears could spill over at any moment. Finally I step out from behind the wall and into the bedroom where they are having their heart to heart.

"I don't wanna leave after this Sam." I tell him as my chin quivers, scared.

Sam and Dean look up at me, Sam stares at me sadly, "Jenny…"

"No. I don't wanna leave Dean. Why can't we just stay together?" I beg Sam, my voice raising and tears brimming in the corners of my eyes.

"Jenny, you deserve to be a teenager." He says starting to get choked up and I know that he is just trying to do what is best for me. "You deserve to have friends that you don't have to lie to and you deserve to…to be normal."

"Sammy, I want those things. I really do." I say, "But not as much as I want a family. And you and Dean, you are my family." I look to Dean with a teary smile before turning back to Sam, "I can't lose another person I love. Please don't make me."

Sam sighs, overwhelmed and grabs one of the duffels full of weapons from off the bed, "We'll talk about this later. We've got to work now." He throws the bag over his shoulder before turning around and leaving.

I bite my lip, holding back the tears that are still threatening to spill over. My legs feel as if they are frozen in place and my stomach is an empty hole.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder I lift my head up and look back, seeing Dean there sadly. Sam defiantly affected him too. Finally I turn my body around completely, falling instantly into Dean's embrace with a hollow sigh.

"I don't want to leave you, Dean." I whimper, letting a tear fall on his flannel shirt as I bury my face inside.

"Well hopefully that'll never happen." He rubs a strong hand through my wavy locks before giving me a protective kiss on the head. I can tell he is trying to give me hope, but he really isn't sure himself. "Come on." He says pulling back and pushing my hair behind my ear.

"Let's go kill this bastard."

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**A/N:** Please Review :)


	27. Shadows of the Night

_A/N: Hey everyone! I'm so sorry about the wait. I've been really busy with the holidays and I've been so stressed lately. Btw. If anyone knows anyway to get rid of nightmares please let me know! I could really use some good sleep! They are driving me crazy!_

_I promise to have the next chapter up by friday so I hope you all can forgive me for how late this one is!_

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**Shadows of the Night**

"Get your ass out of my face!" I whisper strongly as we climb up the elevator shaft of the abandoned warehouse.

"Shhhh." Sam whispers, motioning how close we are to the floor where Meg is holding her ritual or whatever it is she does.

Sam and Dean get all the way to the top with me close behind. Sam gets through the bars of the shaft first, immediately raising his gun with precaution to Meg who is standing over her alter. Then Dean pulls himself up and into the room before turning back around and grabbing onto my hand, pulling me up.

Now, shotguns in hand we walk quietly to the back of the room, hiding behind some empty old wooden boxes with our shotguns raised.

"Guys, hiding is a little bit childish, don't you think?" Meg exclaims, not bothering to turn around from her alter.

"That didn't go like I planned." Dean mutters towards Sam and me.

"Why don't you come out?" Meg says, turning around towards us.

Slowly we come out from behind the boxes. I lower my gun only slightly but raise it immediately when I see Sam and Dean's guns raised.

"Sam, I have to say this puts a real crimp in our relationship." She says with her cheeky attitude.

"Yea tell me about it." He bites.

"So where's your little Daeva friend?" Dean asks.

"Around. And that shotgun is not going to do much good."

"Don't worry, bitch." I smile, "The shotgun is not for the demon."

"So who is it Meg?" Sam asks, "Who's coming? Who are you waiting for?"

She looks us over before giving one of her sly smirks, "You"

Soon a dull roaring sound fills the room and as I look around I see the shadow on the wall. The creature is flying down into the room and before I can do anything it gets Sam, slashing him across the face.

Dean goes to block me and ends up getting hit, landing in a pile of old crates. I look around scared at a bleeding Sam and Dean before the Daeva slashes me across the chest, causing me to fall back. I feel the pain in my forehead as I twist around and bang it against the floor, but then it all goes black.

* * *

I wake up with a strong pain in my head which makes it too difficult to open my eyes. As I become more conscious I can feel my arms tied behind me around a post. I can't even remember anything, and it hurts too much to try and figure it out. There is a dull roar that makes me want to open my eyes, and when I hear the high pitched scream of a woman I instantly pull them open.

I see Meg being dragged on the ground and she is pulled towards the large window, away from me. She goes through the window and her scream becomes muffled before there is the distinct sound of her hitting the ground.

I then notice Sam running to where Dean is tied to a post next to me and cutting him free.

"Sammy." I mumble through the pain.

"Jenny!" He sighs in relief as he and Dean both run over to where I am tied up.

"Are you okay Jenny?" Dean asks, trying to check me over as Sam cuts me free.

"Yeah." I say breathless, tiredly smacking away Dean's hands with my newly freed ones, "Just a headache. But what happened with Meg? Did you kill the Demon? Is the bastard dead?"

"Slow down." Dean says, helping me stand up from my sitting position.

"Did you kill it?" I ask hurriedly to Sam and Dean, too excited to calm down.

Sam sighs and I can tell it isn't the news I was hoping for, "It wasn't the right demon."

"But I thought…"

"It was a trap." Dean informs me, "They just wanted to get to our dad."

"Fuck." I sigh. I so badly wanted that evil son of a bitch to be dead.

"Come on." Sam says, placing an arm around me, "Let's get back to the motel."

I nod sadly before following them. They slowly help me get down the elevator shaft and once we get to the bottom we walk to the Impala and get in.

"Fuck" I mutter, looking into the rearview mirror at myself.

"What?" Dean asks as him and Sam look back at me.

"This was my favorite shirt!" I exclaim with as much force as I can while I inspect the shirt that is covered in blood from where the Daeva scratched me below my collarbone.

Dean shakes his head before turning back to the front of the car, and putting the key in the ignition.

"How's your head?" Sam asks, causing me to raise me hand to the wound I got when I smacked my head on the ground.

Looking in the mirror I see the large purple bump right by my hairline and it has blood trailing down the side of my face. I give it a light touch and immediately wince in pain.

"It's peachy" I sigh, laying back down in the seat.

Once we arrive to our hotel, Sam grabs the weapon bag and gets out of the car. Dean and I follow him up to our floor.

"You couldn't just leave that stuff in the car?" Dean asks, grabbing our room key from his pocket.

"I said it before and I'll say it again, I'd rather be safe than sorry." Sam replies, looking around to make sure we weren't followed.

Dean opens the door and we all walk in, but we don't make it far.

"Hey!" Dean yells and I look to see a man standing in the dark by the window.

Sam immediately turns the light on and the man turns around. But the man doesn't look threatening, he looks loving. I look to Sam and Dean who both have astonished looks on their faces. I let my guard down a bit, thinking this man isn't too much of a threat or he would already be on the floor. I look back up at Sam who looks like he might cry at any moment.

"Dad" Dean says.

My mouth drops open as Dean walks to him and they embrace in a hug. I have only seen one picture of this man and the only time I hear anything about him is when I overhear Sam and Dean fighting. It is usually about how Sam never listens to him and all Dean does is take his orders.

Dean and his dad, who if I am correct is named John, walk slowly towards each other before strongly embracing each other in a hug. They both hold on sturdily and as they break apart Sam walks over, and I follow him awkwardly.

Dean and I watch carefully as Sam and John find each other's eyes.

"Hi Sam." John says, trying not to show much emotion but I can see how much he cares for Sammy.

"Hi Dad." Sam replies quietly, nervously.

John gives him a loving smile as Sam places the weapon bag down on the floor, careful of his tender shoulder. I look at the man nervously as he notices me.

"You must be Jennifer." He says.

"Oh…Uh…" I look at Sam and Dean nervously, how did he know that?

He catches my confusion before filling me in, "I believe you met my friend Missouri."

"Oh…" I smile shyly, "Yeah. It's nice to meet you Sir." For some reason this man's presence made me feel like he should be addressed as a 'Sir'.

He sticks his hand out and I shake it as strongly as my fatigue will allow.

"It's nice to meet you too. And I should thank you for taking care of my boys. They give you much trouble?"

I giggle at his humor, "A little, but I dish it back so I'd say we're even."

He smiles at me before Dean informs him about the hunt being a trap, but John had already suspected. They converse about the hunt before jumping into the larger picture, the Demon, the bastard that killed his wife and my sister.

"It knows I'm close. It knows that I'm gonna kill it, not just exercise it or send it back to hell, but actually kill it."

"How?" Dean asks.

John looks at Dean with a smile, "I'm workin' on that."

Sam asks John to let us join him in the hunt for it, but John won't allow it. I look on sadly as he explains to Sam that he couldn't let them get hurt.

"Listen Sammy…" John begins, "the last time we were together we had one hell of a fight."

"Yes sir." Sam replies a little cold, but I can tell he is just afraid to show the emotion he really feels.

"It's good to see you again. It's been a long time."

"Too long."

Sam finally begins to let a smile tug on the corner of his lips. They walk together, wrapping their arms around each other in a hug. I see John let his own tears fall down his rough and unshaven cheeks and Sam breathes uneasy, too full of emotion.

They back up and Sam is a little awkward as he looks in multiple directions. But John has such a proud smile on his face. I can't help but smile myself as I see Sam reconcile with the father he thought hated him.

I look up at Sam happily when they shrill roaring of the Daevas returns to my ears.

"Ahhh!" John yells as they throw him back onto the kitchen floor. I look around scared as the same happens to Sam. Turning helplessly to Dean, I try to reach for him when I get hit myself, slashed across the face.

"NOOOO!" Dean yells as I hit the floor and look up to see Dean getting pushed onto his back.

I look over to John and the Daevas have him pressed up against the cabinets, continually taking swipes at him. He cries out in pain and I try to make my way over to him, knowing their purpose is to kill him. But as I crawl closer a Daeva is on me and it scratches me deeeply across the back.

"Ahhhh!" I scream as I curl onto my side and the Daeva slashes me across the stomach repeatedly. I lie in agony and can't hear anything over the sound of our screams.

I hear Sam yell something and before I know it the room is filled with a bright light. Soon smoke makes its way to my mouth and causes me to cough ferociously. I try to stand but the pain in my stomach is too powerful for me to hold myself up.

"Jenny!" I hear Sam yell through his own coughs.

"Over here!" I cry, my throat feels like it's on fire.

Through squinted eyes I see Sam coming towards me, he grabs onto me and pulls me up. I scream as my cuts are pulled, causing extreme pain, but I just hold on to Sam tighter. He leads me out behind Dean who is supporting John and we quickly get out of the building and run in the ally where the Impala is.

"Alright, come on." Sam speaks rapidly, opening the Impala door and lowering me quickly but carefully onto the seat. "We don't have much time. Once the flare is out they'll be back."

"Ahh!" I squirm as the cut on my back touches the leather of the Impala. Sam gives me a reassuring pat on the knee before closing the door and turning to Dean and John.

I look through the window as Dean lets his father off of his shoulder. He speaks strongly and Sam throws it right back, letting me know they obviously don't agree. I try to continue watching but the pain in my back and stomach soon become too much and the blood is coming out at a fast pace. I bite my lip strongly, muttering a few curse words, as I grab my sweatshirt from beside me and place it on my stomach. I try to stop the large flow of blood, but as as I lift up the sweatshirt I can see that it is covered in crimson and the blood has not slowed.

I look through the window to see Sam and Dean watch their father walk towards his truck. I try to lift my hand to knock on the window and get their attention, but it is too far for me to reach.

"Sam! Dean!" I yell through raspy breaths, but they don't see me.

"Sammy!" I cry, finally getting his attention as his father's truck is driving away.

There heads both snap towards me, opening the door quickly. "What is it?" Sam asks worried, but not fully here.

"The blood won't stop." I mutter, lifting up the sweatshirt to show them.

"Shit!" Dean bites as he quickly runs to the trunk, probably for the first aid kit.

Sam sits down next to me, now his attention is solely focused on me. He places the sweater down on my stomach hard, so hard that I can't help but cry out in pain.

"Ahhh!"

"Shhh." He soothes, "I know it hurts, but we have to get the bleeding to stop. You're gonna be fine." He assures.

"Sammy, start driving. I'll start to patch her up." Dean exclaims, giving Sam a little pull.

Sam backs out of the seat and Dean immediately takes his place. Sam starts the car and begins to drive off and Dean lifts up the sweatshirt, now soaked with my blood.

"I'm sorry" I whisper quietly to Dean as he gets the appropriate tools out of the first aid kit.

He grabs the thread and needle before looking up at me "Sorry for what, sweetheart?"

"I…" My breath hitches and I cough up some of the smoke still in my lungs, "I got blood on the Impala."

He smiles up at me before preparing the needle, "Don't worry about it. You'll just have to clean it up when you're all better."

I smile faintly at his humor as I begin to allow sleep to over come me.


	28. Better Together

**Better Together**

I pass my pancakes back and forth on my plate, ripping apart the small rounds with my fork. As I look around the table I see Sam reading the paper and Dean stuffing his face. Things have been extremely dull at the Winchester house. School's mid-winter break just started and I will be damned if I spend my week off from school just sitting around the house.

"Hey guys, I was thinking we should take a vacation." I say, slightly looking up from my pancakes.

"Vacation?" Dean asks, and you would think he's never heard the word before in his life.

"Yea," I nod happily, "I mean, I have the week off from school and we never do anything together that doesn't involve hunting. It'll be fun."

"I don't know Jenny." Sam looks skeptical, "I don't know where we could go on such short notice."

I look back down at my food. Spending some quality time with Sam and Dean, that doesn't revolve around burning bones or doing research, is something that I really want. There has got to be somewhere we can go. Then in an instant the light bulb goes on in my head.

"I know!" I say excitedly, "Charlie has a beach house in Florida. I'm sure she'd let us use it."

"And her Mother wouldn't mind us using her house?" Sam checks.

"Please. Her mom wouldn't care if we burnt the place down as long as it didn't interfere with her work."

Dean and Sam nod knowingly, both having spoken with Mrs. Morgan before and not having a good experience.

"So can I go call Charlie?" I plead, biting my lip in anticipation.

Sam looks towards Dean before looking back at me, happy to see my excitement and nods his head towards the phone, "Go ahead."

"Yes!" I smile, jumping up and giving him and Dean a kiss on the check before running for the phone.

I talk to Charlie and I don't even have to finish the question for her to give us the thumbs up. She gives me the directions, tells me where the spare key is hidden and the names of the best restaurants in the area.

After I tell Sam and Dean the news I immediately start packing so we will be ready to leave the next morning bright and early.

* * *

"I bet you five bucks I can get it in his mouth." I smirk towards Dean with a rolled up straw wrapper in my hands as we watch a sleeping Sam, who is lying in the passenger seat with his head slumped back and mouth agape. We have been driving for two days straight and decided that instead of stopping to sleep at a hotel Sam and Dean would take turns driving so we could get there faster.

"I bet you five bucks he wakes up a throws a hissy fit." Dean looks at me in the rearview mirror as the bright Florida sun comes through the windows.

"And what happens if were both right?" I check.

"Then we both win," He smiles, "And Sammy loses."

We both laugh as I lean back on the seat, lift my hand up gently with the wrapper pressed between my thumb and pointer finger. I carefully toss it and Dean and I watch as it bounces of his Sam's and goes into his mouth.

I fling my hands up in triumph as Dean and I laugh at a now awake Sammy. He throws his head up, coughing at the disturbance in his mouth. He feels the small paper with his tongue and immediately retrieves it with his hand.

"What the hell?" He snaps towards Dean and I, not sure to which of us did it, "I was sleeping, I could've choked!"

"I guess we both win." I laugh to Dean which earns us another harsh stare from Sam.

"Come on, Sammy" Dean says, giving Sam a playful slap on the arm, "We're on vacation. Lighten up a bit."

Sam rolls his eyes and I can't help but laugh at the silly antics. Looking out the window as we come closer to our destination I see the beach and as I take a deep breath in the scent of sea salt and sand tingles my nostrils, sending chills down my back an making me smile.

"Are we almost there Dean?" I ask as he looks at the piece of paper with the address on it.

"I'd say so." He smiles as the Impala turns into a driveway. I look up at the house which is a grayish tan color. It's a large two story house with big windows to look out at the ocean.

"Oh my god."

As soon as I can I open the door and jump out of the door, "This is amazing!" I laugh with thrill.

Sam and Dean watch with amusement as I jump around excitedly like a child while they grab our bags and follow me towards the house. Once we make it up the front steps I walk across the porch to a small potted plant. After I move the pot I lift up the small box cut out in the deck and find the key like Charlie described.

"Ready." I smile as I put the pot back and walk over to the door, unlocking it.

We step inside and Sam and Dean immediately drop their bags in awe. The large living room is the first thing we see, with a beautiful fireplace and big plush couches surrounding a TV. I walk in further and see the dining room but the only thing I care about is the view. There is a large glass window which allows you to see the ocean which is literally the backyard of the house.

"Can we go swimming?" I beg turning towards Sam and Dean, "Please!"

"Go get in your suit." Sam says, handing me one of my bags.

I let out a loud squeal before turning and running up the stairs. I claim the room that isn't as big as some of the others but in my opinion has the best view. Quickly I change into my black two-piece. The top has thick halter straps and silver and gold beads that line the cleavage and the bottoms are plain black. I also grab my pink board shorts and put them on before grabbing my orange beach towel, decorated with yellow fishes, and I head down stairs.

"Hurry up!" I yell on my way down and I am soon followed by Sam and Dean in their swim trunks and t-shirts, each with a towel draped over one of their shoulders.

"Let's go."

I quickly walk off the back porch and smile as the sand, which is warm from the bright and beaming sun, caresses my feet and tingles my toes. Once I find a nice spot between the house and the water I place down my towel, but when I lay down I place my body on the sand, loving the warm feeling on my back.

"So are you goin' swimming or what?" I hear and open my eyes to see Dean looking down at me and both him and Sam have there t-shirts off, ready to get in the water.

I jump up instantly, running to the ocean, with Sam and Dean close behind. Once my feet touch the water I immediately jump back surprised.

"It's _cold_!" I say to Sam and Dean who are on each side of me as goose bumps crawl up my arms.

"Really? Cold?" Dean asks with a suspicious tone and I immediately get a bad feeling, "Sammy did you hear that? Apparently the water is _freezing_."

"Really?" Sam says with the same manner.

"Oh no." I warn, knowing what they want to do, "Don't you dare!" I yell, trying to back up but Dean already has a hold on my waist.

"No! Put me down!" I yell with laughter.

"Come on, Jenny. You love the beach." He jokes and walks me closer in with Sam holding my legs as I begin to kick them wildly.

"Ahhh!" I scream as they throw me into the chilly water. I stay under the water for a moment letting the coolness prickle my senses. I stand up with my wet hair draped heavily across my shoulders, looking at Sam and Dean who both are laughing wildly at me.

"I'm gonna kill you!" I yell, running towards Sam and Dean who immediately turn around and dash.

Sam runs much faster with his long legs so I decide my best bet is with Dean. He runs up to our deck before circling and going back to the water where I finally catch up with him.

"Ahh!" I laugh infectiously as I jump onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. I try and pull him down into the water but he puts an arm around my waist and pulls me off of his back so I am in front of him. And in no time I am hanging up side down, screaming as I hear Dean laughing and I see Sammy walking over with the same amused expression he had earlier.

"Put me down!" I yell, trying to curl my body up and remove Dean's arms from around my waist.

"You gonna stop chasing me?"

"No way!" I yell stubbornly as I still try and work on Dean's arms.

"Then no luck." He shakes his head with mock disappointment and he begins to walk deeper in the water, making my head become closer and closer to the surface.

"Sammy! Help me!"

"After your little basketball game back in the car I think you can take care of yourself."

My mouth drops with shock at his response. I guess I now have to resort to desperate measures.

"Oh! My stomach!" I grimace, pretending that my wounds were being tugged as I hang inverted, when in reality they have been healed for two weeks and haven't given me any trouble.

"What? Is it your scars?" Sam asks, as Dean immediately puts me down right side up.

I hold my stomach in mock pain as Sam and Dean now stand in front of me worried and try to remove my hands to see if there is anything visibly wrong.

"What's wrong Jenny?" Dean asks with fear.

"You…You…" I stutter before snapping my head up "You got me wet!" I yell before taking my hands and shoving them both back into the cold ocean water.

I laugh, clapping my hands in accomplishment, as they are submerged in the water. They re-emerge and their faces are still full of shock but it only takes one look to each other before they jump up and out off the water, running at full speed towards me with a smile on their faces as I scream with laughter in anticipation.

"Some one order a pizza?"

I turn and see Dean coming outside through the back sliding door with dinner. Sam and I are relaxing around the outside fire pit, sitting directly on the sand as the sun sets at the water's horizon. He and Dean are still sporting their swim trunks and shirts while I have a white sundress over my swim suit.

"Thank god! I'm starving!" I exclaim hungrily as Dean places the pizza down on the ground before joining us around the campfire.

"I brought beer," Dean hands Sam a bottle and keeps one for himself before holding a can out to me, "and an orange soda for you."

"Thanks Deano!" I smile, popping open the can and sipping it quickly as orange fizz pours out from the top.

Dean opens the box and we each grab a slice, Sam and I opt for the half that is Hawaiian, with pineapple and ham, while Dean grabs a slice of pepperoni. I take a bite and wipe away the small amount of grease that is left on my lips as the waves crash with a soft bellow on the ocean line.

"Hey Sammy" I smile, picking a pineapple of the top of my pizza, "Catch!" I laugh as I throw it towards him and it hits him on the cheek before falling to the ground.

"Hey!" He tries to stay serious but he can't help from laughing along with Dean and I.

"Fine your turn." He says, grabbing a piece of pineapple off of his slice and throwing it at me. I'm not prepared and it bounces right off my head as I turn back from laughing at Sam with Dean.

"Not so funny now, is it?" He chuckles hysterically, throwing his head back slightly.

"Hey! Not fair! I wasn't ready!" I whine like a little kid, "I want a do-over!"

"Really?" He challenges.

"Oh this is gonna be fun." Dean mumbles as he watches the scene unfold.

"Come on. Give me your best shot!" I smile, standing up on my knees so I have more leverage.

Sam shakes his head with a smile before grabbing another chunk of pineapple, arching his arm back slightly and throwing it in my direction.

I go up higher on my knees and move so I am in the line of fire, feeling a smile tug on my lips as the cooked fruit goes right into my mouth.

"Yes!" I put my arms up in victory, beginning to softly chew the food in my mouth as Sam and Dean jokingly applaud me.

We finish our pizza and I instantly dig into the marshmallows, sticking two on a stick before holding it over the fire.

"Can we go for a walk?

"Sure," Sam says, as I eat my marshmallows, "But first I have a surprise for you."

My head instantly snaps up towards Sammy.

"Me? Is it shiny?!"

"Not exactly." He laughs and stands up from the fire, "Wait here."

I look to Dean with a questioning glance but he shakes his head, "I have no idea kid."

"Why do you always call me 'Kid'? I'm sixteen!"

"You'll always be a kid to me squirt."

It only takes a minute for Sam to come jogging back out of the house, and in his hands is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. I jump up from the sand as he comes closer. He has a gorgeous acoustic guitar that looks just like the one that I lost in the fire at Stanford.

"You're kidding?! Is that really for me?!"

"Well I certainly am not using it myself."

"Oh my god!" I scream, running and jumping into his embrace, my arms securely around his neck.

"I figured you could play at the campfire."

"Oh I don't know." I wince, "It's been a while since I've played. I probably suck by now."

Sam shakes his head, putting the guitar in my hands and sitting us both down.

"No way. Come on, Play that Jack Johnson song you used to be obsessed with."

"I was not obsessed!"

"Just play."

"Yeah Jenny, I've never heard you sing or play guitar." Dean encourages me, "Well unless you count humming AC/DC in the car."

I roll my eyes as I begrudgingly get into a comfortable Indian style sitting position with my guitar resting on my legs.

"Fine, but you can't make fun." I say with harsh eyes to Dean, I know Sam would never dare make fun of my singing.

Dean nods his head and I look down and with one final breath I start strumming the chords to the song.

_There's no combination of words _

_I could put on the back of a postcard, _

_No song that I could sing _

_But I can try for your heart, _

_Our dreams, and they are made out of real things, _

_Like a shoebox of photographs, _

_With sepia tone loving,_

_Love is the answer _

_At least for most of the questions in my heart ,_

_Like why are we here? And where do we go? _

_And how come it's so hard? _

_It's not always easy,_

_And sometimes life can be deceiving, _

_I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together_

_MMM, it's always better when we're together _

_Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together _

_Well, it's always better when we're together _

_Yeah, it's always better when we're together_

_And all of these moments _

_Just might find their way into my dreams tonight _

_But I know that they'll be gone, _

_When the morning light sings _

_And brings new things,_

_But tomorrow night you see _

_That they'll be gone too, _

_Too many things I have to do, _

_But if all of these dreams might find their way _

_Into my day to day scene _

_I'll be under the impression, _

_I was somewhere in-between _

_With only two, _

_Just me and you _

_Not so many things we got to do, _

_Or places we got to be _

_We'll sit beneath the mango tree now_

_Yeah, it's always better when we're together _

_MMM, We're somewhere in-between together _

_Well, it's always better when we're together _

_Yeah, it's always better when we're together _

_MmMMmm MmMMm MmMMm _

_I believe in memories _

_They look so, so pretty when I sleep _

_Hey now, and when, and when I wake up, _

_You look so pretty sleeping next to me _

_But there is not enough time, _

_And there is no, no song I could sing _

_And there is no combination of words I could say _

_But I will still tell you one thing, _

_We're better together_

I finish strumming the final chords of the song and after it's done my heart practically skips a beat and it takes me a few more seconds before I finally pull my head up, a skeptical expression is clear on my face as Sam and Dean smile at me, beaming is more like it.

"Good?" I ask unsure.

"Amazing, kid."

* * *

After walking all the way to the other end of the beach and noticing how exhausted I looked, Dean let me spend the walk home on his back.

"I get to pick the movie when we get home." I mumble against Dean's shirt.

"I think you'll be going to bed when we get home."

"No," I manage to lift my head up, "It's only nine o'clock."

"Well it's been a long day. I promise you can pick a movie for tomorrow night." Sam assures me.

"Fine" I mutter, relaxing once again onto Dean's back as he lifts me up and repositions me.

"Thanks for the guitar Sammy. And thanks for taking us on a vacation. I miss family vacations." I smile tiredly as my eyes shut.

I feel Sam rub my back tenderly and place his sweatshirt around me before I fall to sleep about a half a mile from the house.

* * *

I jog back up the coast line with my IPod attached to my arm and Boston blasting into my ears. My arms go back and forth in a steady pace while my feet move quickly. As our house comes into a better view and I see Sam and Dean out on the beach I slow down to a fast walk.

"How was your run?" Sam yells as he throws the football he's holding to Dean.

"Great." I breathe out, exhilarated, "I'm just gonna jump in the water to cool off."

I kick my sneakers off my feet and remove my socks before taking off my blue shorts and white wife beater to leave me in a white and baby blue polka dotted bikini. I run up to the shoreline and dive into the water, enjoying the coolness for only a few moments before resurfacing and walk back onto the sand. I run my hands through my soaking hair to keep it from dangling in my face and walk over to where Sam and Dean had placed some towels.

I lay my back down on the ground, loving the feeling of the hot sand against my skin. I feel the hot sun softly heat my body and drift off to sleep while my fair complexion gets a soft tan.

When I awake I take notice of Sam and Dean, who are both asleep on their large beach towels.

"Sam." I say with the hint of laughter as I shake him out of his slumber.

"What Jenny?" He asks annoyed, slapping my hand away.

"You want some revenge?" My eye has an evil glimmer which Sam immediately takes notice of.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come with me." I smirk, standing up and leading him over to Dean, kneeling down next to his sleeping body.

"This is gonna be fun."

About ten minutes later we have Dean's body cover from his chest to his feet in sand. Sam works on perfecting the mermaid tail that I started at Dean's feet while I begin to work on the size double D boobs resting on his chest. I giggle silently as I carefully place more handfuls of sand onto his upper body, making sure I don't wake him up quite yet.

When I get them to the appropriate size I lean back to check my work, "Something's missing."

"What do you think?" Sam asks, now standing behind me and looking over Dean's form with a smirk.

I tilt my head to the side in thought before gaining the idea "Ohhh…." I smirk wickedly "I know."

Sam glances to me questioningly as I run to the water line, grabbing handfuls of seaweed in my hands and being too excited to cringe at the slippery feel. I run back with the wet brown plants in my hands and kneel next to Dean, placing the seaweed down before standing back up with Sam and admiring our work.

"Perfect." He laughs at the long brown seaweed hair Dean now has falling against his shoulders.

"Nice work partner." I smile, giving Sam a high five. We grin at our creation in accomplishment before Sam turns to me.

"So what do we do now?"

"This" I bend down to the sand and pick up a small seagull feather, "Would you like the honors?"

"You bet." He says, grabbing the white and gray feather out of my hand and walking towards Dean's head.

Sam kneels down placing the feather out so it barely touches the tip of Dean's nose and only gives it a small twitch. It takes a moment for Dean to wake up and another for him to realize he is awake, while Sam and I watch him closely. He pops his eyes open when he feels the sand all over his skin.

"Hahaha!" Sam and I laugh as Dean looks around wildly, trying to figure out exactly where he is. Sam throws his head back, clapping his hands together in laughter.

"Wh….?! What the fuck?!" Dean yells, seeing his body covered in the itchy beach sand.

Through my laughter I turn to my bag of things and grab my cell phone out of one of the pockets, instantly turning on the camera. I point it towards Dean and just as he notices the large female boobs molded onto his chest and stares at them with wide eyes I take the picture.

Sam walks next to me and we give each other a smiley glance before turning back to a pissed off Dean and laughing our asses off.

"This is so not funny." He shrugs, struggling to get out of the sand that enclosed him.

"No man, it's friggin' hilarious." Sam chuckles, helping Dean stand up.

"Ugh, this is _gross!_" Dean mutters loudly as he tries to get all of the seaweed off of his head.

"Don't be a baby, Dean. It's just a little prank." I smirk which earns me a death glare.

"Oh, you just wait for the revenge sweetheart."

I try to look like I'm not scared, but it defiantly leaves a sour feeling in my stomach. I've heard about the Nair in the shampoo incident and I defiantly don't want anything like that happening to me.

"I gotta wash off." Dean sighs as he begins to walk towards the water.

I turn towards Sam and grab onto his arm, giving it a pull, "Come on Sammy. Let's go swimming."

He walks with me but I decide to run ahead and get in the water deep enough so I can dive. I resurface and turn around to Dean and Sam who have the water up to their knees.

"Come on!" I splash some water in their direction, trying to coerce them to come in farther.

* * *

"The shower's all yours." I tell Sam as I walk down the stairs in my pajama shorts and Led Zeppelin shirt, plopping down on the couch next to Dean.

"What are we watching?" I ask, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Something with Ben Stiller" He mumbles.

I watch the screen and laugh at the spiky black hair and ridiculous outfits, "Oh my god, this movie is the best!"

Dean looks at me not too amused, "What is it?"

"Zoolander!" I say in a tone that implies how _everyone _should now about this movie, especially when Dean gives me one that implies he has no idea of what I am talking about.

"Come on, Dean! Blue Steel!" I say exasperated, earning me another clueless glance. "Just watch the movie." I sigh, turning to face the screen

A little over an hour later Sam, Dean and I are all sitting around the television while the end credits role down the screen. Sam and I laugh hysterically while Dean does his best impression of the 'blue steel'.

"Stop it!" I laugh so hard it makes my stomach ache and give Dean a playful slap, "It hurts!" I have tears coming out of the corner of my eyes.

Dean retracts his lips from their extremely pouty position and lets out a soft laugh, enjoying the moment with Sam and I. We let the laughter die down to quiet and quote a few lines from the movie before the next movie starts.

"You gonna head up to bed?" Sam asks, noticing my head drooping on to his shoulder.

"Wh─" I snap my head up and out of my almost slumber, "No…No. I'm fine."

"Come on. You should get to bed." Sam smiles, knowing I'll be asleep within five minutes.

"Sammy." I whine, "I wanna stay up."

"What are you five?" He laughs standing up, "You're gonna fall asleep in a few minutes anyway and then I'm gonna have to carry you upstairs."

"Yeah. And you way a ton." Dean scoffs teasingly, earning a slap from me.

I shrug my shoulders, relaxing into the couch stubbornly. "Well I'm not getting up."

Just by placing my head into the soft couch cushions my eyes droop a bit in sleepiness. I don't even realize it, but apparently Sam does.

"That's it." He exclaims and before I get a chance to open my eyes I feel him grab me and throw me over his shoulder like a firefighter.

"Wh─What the hell?" I mumble against his back as he turns towards the stairs.

"Say goodnight to Dean." Sam tells me.

"G'night." I giggle, "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

Did I mention I tend to get a bit silly when I'm tired?

"See you tomorrow Jenny Bean." He chuckles.

"I see your bum Sammy." I snicker as my head hangs right above his bottom while he walks me up the stairs, earning a chuckle from Dean in the distance.

Sam grins at my antics, knowing that when I'm sleepy I might as well be drunk.

* * *

"Jenny!" I hear someone yell in a hurry.

I squeeze my eyes tight in frustration. Is it too much to ask for a girl to get some sleep?

"Jenny, Come down here!" I recognize this as Dean, which mean he won't stop yelling into I get out of bed and come to meet him.

"God dammit!" I huff, throwing the comforter off of my body and huffing down the stairs with my disheveled hair and clothes.

"If you don't mind I was trying to sleep in past eight o'clock!" I yell as I enter the kitchen, placing a hand on my hip, "Which I get is a lot to ask, ON VACATION!"

Even with all of my attitude, Dean doesn't return my banter and Sam doesn't scold me for yelling. They just sit there at the table, staring at me.

My face turns into concern, "What's wrong?"

"A friend of ours, Daniel Elkins─ He's dead."

"Oh my god. " I breathe out shocked, "He was a hunter?"

"Yeah. And he worked a lot with our father." Dean is looking down at his coffee, but I can hear the sorrow in his voice.

"I'm so sorry guys."

"Thanks Jen." Sam smiles, "But Dean and I are going to be heading up to check out what happened. So we're gonna have to drive you back home today."

I'm defiantly sad that we have to cut our vacation short. I have been having so much fun with Sam and Dean these past few days, but I get that they have to go.

"Yea, sure. I'll go start packing."

"And Jenn,"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"We might be gone longer than usual."

* * *

**R/R?**


	29. In My Time of Dying

**In My Time of Dying**

"So how are you feeling Jenny? Anymore nausea?"

I shake my head as Dr. Lewis begins my checkup to make sure that my infection is gone and that I'm in perfect health once again.

"Nope. I feel great."

"That's what we love to hear."

Normally I hate Doctors, but her smile is so refreshing and infectious that I can't help but smiling as well.

"So I'm going to do a pelvic exam and then ask you a few questions. It's just standard for all teenagers that test positive for STDs."

"Okay."

I lie back on the table and get the worst part of the appointment over with. It's uncomfortable to say the least, but at least this time I'm not worried about weather or not I'm pregnant. That makes it _much _easier.

After a few minutes Dr. Lewis finishes up and lets me take my legs out of the stirrups and sit back up.

"Everything looks great Jenny. Now before you go I just have to ask a few standard questions."

"Sure." I nod.

She grabs her clipboard from the table and turns back around to face me, sitting back down in her chair.

"Okay, first question, How many sexual partners have you had?"

"Two"

"Have you ever practiced unsafe sex?"

"Ummm…" I bite my lip, unsure, "I don't know. I was always safe with Ethan. But with the other guy I kind of…blacked out."

I look down ashamed, afraid that this doctor is thinking how disgusting I am at the moment.

"Do you normally drink so much that you blackout?"

"No. In fact I only remember having the first drink. After that I don't know why I decided to keep drinking."

She thinks something over for a moment before looking back up at me.

"Jenny, if you don't mind I'd like to run a drug test on your hair."

_Wait─What?!_

"My hair? For what?"

"Well the fact that you can only remember the first drink makes me wonder if you were slipped a date rape drug."

My heart instantly stops and I look up into her eyes, scared. Just the word rape makes my face turn pale and my heartbeat slow.

"It might not be the case Jenny. I just want to be sure, if I have your permission."

"Uh…yeah, sure."

Dr. Lewis puts her hand on my knees comfortingly, "I'll be right back."

* * *

_Ring, Ring_

I place down my pencil on my open notebook and pick up the phone from infront of me on the kitchen table.

"Hello."

"_Hey Jenny." _

The moment I hear the voice I immediately know who it is.

"Sam! How are you?"

"_We're good."_

"And your Dad?" I ask carefully, knowing that it is never an easy topic with him.

When Sam called me last week to tell me that they ran into John on their hunt I thought I had an aneurism, especially when he told me they were hunting vampires! Dean had taught me months ago that they were a big hoax. But I guess we know more than anyone how life can be full of surprises and nothing can be expected.

"_He's good. I just wanted to call and let you know that we are on our way to Ohio."_

"What? Why?"

"_There is something going on there, something with The Demon."_

My breath hitches in my throat as I check to make sure I heard him right.

"You mean _The Demon_?"

This bastard killed my sister and turned my life completely upside down. If I could have one thing it would be his head on a platter.

"_Yea Jenn. We think so."_

"Oh…" I start to process everything and get in the right mind set, "Well then should I come out and meet you?"

"_No. Not now."_

"What? Why?"

"_Because this is too dangerous. You aren't ready yet."_

Something about Sam's voice sounds cold and distant. Not towards me in particular, but just in general.

"Bu─"

"_I'll call you as soon as I can, okay Jenn?"_

I want to object but he sounds hurried and preoccupied so I decide to concede for the moment.

"Fine. Bye Sam."

"_Bye, love you."_

I slam the phone back down into its place, upset that Sam is leaving me out of the hunt that I've been spending months training for. How could he do this to me?!

_Ring, Ring_

I sigh, wondering if is Sam calling back to make sure that I am not mad at him. I know how much he hates it when we don't get along.

"Hello."

"_Hey Jenny, It's Dr. Lewis."_

_**Shit**_

"Oh, Hi."

"_I've got your test results back, I'd like for you to come down to my office."_

My stomach drops; I don't need a medical degree to know that she has bad news.

"What is it? Did he slip me something?"

"_You really should come down to my office Jenny."_

"Well I'm out of town," I lie, needing the information now, "So just tell me."

I hear her sigh heavily on the other side of the phone before letting me know.

"_Your hair tested positive for traces of Rohypnol."_

"Wa─ You mean this guy slipped me a roofie?"

"_Unfortunately. Now when you get back into down I'd like for you to make and appointment with either me or one of my associates."_

"Uh…No…That's okay. I have to go now. Bye."

With a shaky breath I place the phone done onto the table in front of me. Sobs begin to rack my body immediately as I lower myself to the ground, no strength left in my legs.

* * *

"Okay Class," Mr. Cooper slams his book shut causing me to awake from my slumber with a bolt, "Finish reading act five tonight and I'll hand out the review for the test tomorrow."

I lift my head up to see the entire class gathering their things and I begin to do the same as they all walk towards the door. Running a hand through my messy hair and over my sleepy eyes I place my purse over my shoulder and stand up from my desk, beginning to walk towards the exit.

"Ms. Juergans, Could you I speak to you for a moment?"

I look up to see Mr. Cooper placing his teaching book into his messenger bag. I look around nervously for a moment before walking towards him.

"Uh…sure. What's up?"

As I try and focus I take notice of a small cut on his eyebrow, which appears to be surrounded by a slightly healed bruise. The small cut can't take away from his amazing features. He is defiantly a good looking man, with a strong jaw line and what looks to be an amazing body hidden underneath his school attire.

"I was just wondering how things are going Jenny." He tries to sound casual, but I know he is trying to get at something.

"Things are fine…" I say, confusion in my voice, "Why?"

He rests his hands on his desk, letting his arms bulge in the right places and looking me in the eye.

"Well, honestly I'm worried about you."

"Me?!" I ask shocked and no longer paying attention to his arms, "Why? Is this about falling asleep because I was up all night working on a paper." My voice raises and quickens with fright, "I promise it won't happen again."

I hope he believes me. I don't see why he wouldn't. But what can I say? I get extremely nervous when lying to people, especially teachers.

It's just been so hard for me to sleep lately so I've been staying up late for the past couple nights, waiting by the phone. Sam and Dean are away on possibly the most important hunt ever and they've been gone longer than usual.

"Wait, Calm down." He assures, "This isn't just about today. I've noticed you have had trouble focusing for a while lately. And your work has been mediocre at best."

I look at him and sigh frustratingly, "I'm sorry, okay? But I'm doing the best that I can."

"Listen, if there is something going on I can help you."

He looks very sweet and I know he is just trying to help me, but I can't let him think something is going on. Not even Sam and Dean know about what Dr. Lewis told me.

"Nothing is going on." I try and smile, "I'll try harder."

He looks at me skeptically but eventually nods his head.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nod in return before turning and walking out of the classroom. I get to my locker and place my books inside, taking a moment to rest against the door. Taking in a deep breath, I pray that he doesn't try to dig any further into what is going on.

* * *

A week later I'm at home all by myself still. It's the end of the first week back from vacation so I'm swamped with work. I had two tests and a quiz today.

"Thanks for the ride home."

I wave to Charlie and run into the house, making a bee line for the phone. Sam hasn't called in a few days and I can't help but get worried. There are two messages one the machine and I click the play button as I drop my purse next to the phone.

The first message is from the library about an overdue book so I click the skip button immediately. I rest my hands on each side of the phone, waiting anxiously for the message. However nothing can prepare me for what I hear.

"_Jenny, It's me." _I hear the tears in Sam's voice and my stomach drops in an instant, _"There…There was an accident. We're at Saint Vincent's hospital in Jefferson City. Dean…he's…It's not looking good and I really think you should get here soon. I…I have to go. Get here soon."_

I stare at the machine as my fresh tears drop onto the speaker. I can't move, think, or breathe at this point. I just stand in the same spot, staring at the phone as tears make their way down my delicate cheeks.

And then before I can blink, I run for my purse and the emergency money from under the sink. Quickly I call a cab to take me to the bus station and grab the first bus ride to Jefferson City.

* * *

I run into the hospital, looking around at all of the people frantically. I see a blonde nurse at the front desk and run up to her, my voice out of breath.

"My brother is here. Dean Jeurgens. What room is he in?"

She looks up at me, calmly, before looking down at some of her papers. I want to smash her head in for looking so calm, but I know this must be an everyday occurrence for her.

"Room 327. You can take the elevator up to the third floor. Or the stairs are right there."

"Thanks."

I offer her a quick smile before turning and running towards the stairs, not wanting to wait for an elevator. When I get to Dean's floor quickly and out of breath it doesn't slow me down. I see the arrows that point to rooms 301-330 and run down the hall, watching the room numbers rise until they get to the one I'm looking for.

I grasp the doorframe and swing inside; coming to a screaming stop once I glance inside.

"Thank god." I cry, seeing Dean sitting up in his bed.

"Jenny."

I look from Dean's bed and towards the voice to see Sam standing across the hospital room. He actually looks more torn up than Dean. His left eye is covered in a huge bruise and swollen so much that his eye barely opens.

"Wha…" I stutter, looking between the two brothers, "Are you both okay? On the message you said…"

"Dean was in a coma, but everything's okay now." Sam assures me, walking forwards and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I look at him testingly, wanting more information, but my eyes find Dean again and I immediately walk over to his bed. I sit on it, careful not to hit him or any of the many wires surrounding him.

Dean places a comforting hand over mine, giving me a reassuring look with his eyes. However I still need to ask and be sure.

"You sure you're okay?"

Tears are rimming in the corners of my eyes. All of the emotions that have been with me throughout the ride up are coming to a head.

"I'm fine." Dean nods, offering me a reassuring nod.

"When I got the call… I thought─I thought you─"

"Hey." Dean quiets me, giving my arm a slight tug, "Nothing is going to happen to me or Sam. You got that? You're going to be stuck with us for a while." He says the last part with a smile.

I try to give him one back, but the emotions running through me are just too powerful. Tears leak from my eyes while I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. If I had lost Dean…I don't know what I would do.

"Good." My voice cracks as I can't hold myself together anymore.

Dean sees my composure breaking and immediately grasps my head gently, pulling it down to rest on his comforting shoulder. Hard sobs choke my throat as I release them into his white hospital shirt.

"Shhhh…" He soothes as he strokes my hair soothingly.

"It's okay Jenny." I hear Sam speak from behind me, placing a comforting hand on my back, "We're okay."

"What's going on in here?"

I look up shocked to see John standing in the doorway. He looks a little rough and I can tell that he hasn't shaven in a few days. But he isn't in hospital clothes so I'm not worried about him too much.

"Hi, Mr. Winchester." I try to smile while I wipe at my tears, but a hiccup escapes, "Are you okay?"

"Oh, it's just a few scratches." He scoffs, walking closer to Dean's bed and staring at Dean caringly, "How you doing, son?"

"I'm fine Dad." Dean replies, not used to seeing his father so worried about him.

John nods, having a hard time looking Dean in the eyes. I have the feeling he wants to speak to Dean about something and I'm extremely curious as to what it is, but I know I should leave John to speak to him privately.

"Uhhh….I haven't eaten in almost two days. Can you take me to the cafeteria?" I look up at Sammy and rub a small hand on my stomach for effect.

This actually wasn't a lie. I haven't eaten in a while and my stomach was getting ready to eat itself if I didn't make it happy soon.

"Sure, Jenny. Come on." He places a hand on my shoulder and looks to Dean and John, "We'll be back."

"I'm glad you're okay." I smile to Dean, softly running my fingers through the top of his light brown hair and placing a kiss on his cheek. He smiles back and gives my hand a gentle squeeze, but releasing it as I walk off with Sam, keeping my eyes on Dean until I leave the room.

Once I get into the hallway with Sam I instantly wrap my arms around his torso while we walk, resting my head on his chest as tears still rest at my eyes.

"I missed you Sam."

He wraps his arms around me tightly and places a kiss on the top of my head.

"You too Jenny."

I hold onto his embrace all the way down to the cafeteria. Even though he said only Dean's name on the message I was nervous about his own safety on the ride over. But I really never stop worrying about Sam.

"You want a soda?" Sam asks once we get to the cafeteria, holding up a can.

"Sure. And can I get some chocolate cake?"

"It's nine in the morning."

"Please." I pout, pleadingly, "I forgot to bring food with me on the bus and my blood sugar's low."

Sam shakes his head with a smile, "Just this once."

"Yes" I smile, immediately running for the desserts.

Sam and I sit, him drinking a coffee and me with my soda and chocolate cake. As I eat Sam fills me in on the situation. He tells me all about Meg being possessed and then exercised, John being possessed by the YED but how it escaped before Sam killed it, the kamikaze demon truck driver, and finally Dean's reaper.

"Wow."

"I know."

"But everything's okay now?"

"Everything's fine. I'm okay, my dad's okay, and the Docs think Dean could get out of here in a few days if his tests are good."

I still have an uneasy look on my face, but Sam gives me a reassuring smile and I can't help but to return it. Why should I think anything will go wrong now? Isn't it possible we could finally just be having some good luck? Not that it happens often in this family.

"Come on. Let's go bring Dad and Dean some coffee."

I take my last bite of chocolate cake before standing up with Sam and walking out of the cafeteria, throwing out my plate on the way as Sam grabs two coffees.

We walk up to Dean and John's floor and head to Dean's room. But once we get there John isn't in the room anymore.

"Where's Dad?" Sam asks.

"He was feeling tired so he went back to his room."

When Dean speaks he doesn't look Sam in the eye, which I immediately take notice of.

"I'm gonna go bring him his coffee. Stay with Dean."

"Okay." I nod, giving Sam a nod as he walks out of the room.

"Here." I walk over to Dean, holding out his cup of coffee.

"Thanks, Jenn."

"You're welcome." I smile, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"You want to watch TV?" Dean asks, scooting over to make room for me and handing me the remote.

"Of, course."

I grab the remote and lie down next to Dean with my head rested gently on his shoulder as he takes a sip of his coffee and places it on the side table. Flipping through the channels provides little result so I just decide to put on some old movie that neither Dean nor I have seen before. We're watching it for only a moment when someone's voice comes over the hospital intercom.

"_Dr. Dylan to room 425. Dr. Dylan to room 425. We have a code blue_."

Dean instantly tenses next to me and by the time I look up he is jumping up from the bed.

"What is it? What are you doing?!" I yell as he pulls all of his wires off, even pulling out his own IV, "DEAN, STOP IT!"

"That's my Dad's room!" Dean yells before he runs from the room.

My mouth drops and I take off after him, following as he runs up the stairs and takes a right. I try to yell after him, but I soon realize that he isn't going to stop until he has his father in sight.

I chase him down the hall and from a distance I can see him come to a screeching halt, and as I get closer I see Sam by his side. My pace slows once I see the tears falling down his face, scared at what I might find. My feet move with every thump of my chest as I watch Sam and Dean staring helplessly into the room while nurses move in and out.

I finally come to the door, standing a few feet behind Sam and Dean, and my heart instantly drops. Mr. Winchester is lying on the hospital bed with tubes sticking out of his body and the doctor using the paddles to shock his heart, which I have seen a million times in movies but it is much more violent in person.

"Okay, that's it. Time of Death 10:41 a.m."

And just like that, he is gone.

* * *

**A/N:** So sorry for the wait everyone. Some of you kno how much trouble my computer has been giving me, but I finally have this up. I'm sending the laptop in for a warranty soon, so after that I will have no more problems what so ever!


	30. Jenny Don't Be Hasty

**Jenny Don't Be Hasty**

It has been two weeks since John was pronounced dead and three weeks since I found out that I'd been raped. Sam, Dean, and I are staying at one of their father's old hunting friend's house. His name is Bobby Singer. He is a bit rough around the edges and has a mouth like no other. However I find that he's a bit of a teddy bear at heart.

"Do you want some breakfast Bobby?" I ask, walking into his office with a plate of pancakes and bacon that I made.

"Oh Jennifer," He looks up from his numerous books, "You didn't have to cook."

"You've been letting the boys and I stay here for weeks. It's the least I can do."

"Well it looks delicious. I'll be in the kitchen in a moment. Just let me finish up here."

I walk back into his kitchen and place his plate on the table before going back to the stove and filling up three more plates with pancakes and bacon for Sam, Dean, and I. When I am done I walk to Bobby's back door which leads out to his backyard, if you can even call it a yard. It's covered with cars, most of which are never going to touch the black cement of the highway ever again.

"Sam! Dean!" I call to them as they stand by the Impala, turning towards me.

"Breakfast is ready. Come inside."

Dean wipes of his hands with a grease rag before walking towards the house, leaving Sam staring after him for a few moments before following.

Dean hasn't really been dealing with John's death at all and I know that it is really getting to Sam. Not only is he confused by Dean's indifference when the man spent his entire life trying to please him, but I think Sam is also worried because he has twice seen what not dealing with death can do to a person, with me. And to be honest I'm scared for Dean too.

"This smells terrific Jenny." Dean mutters, sitting down across from Bobby and immediately digging into his plate.

I continue to stand until Sam walks in and I give him a smile and a pat on the arm before we both sit down at the table.

"So Dean…" I start, trying to find conversation, "How long until the Impala is up and running?"

"Not to long." He answers bleakly, putting more food into his mouth.

I roll my eyes tiredly. Why is starting a conversation like pulling teeth around here?

"Hey Bobby, Do you have any cars that Dean and I could borrow for the day?"

I snap my head up in surprise towards Sam. Where are he and Dean planning to go? They can barely talk to each other in the first place.

"I might. It ain't gonna be nothing special."

"Anything will be fine Bobby. Thanks." Sam smiles politely before taking a bite of his pancakes.

"Where are you guys going? Is it a hunt?"

Sam and Dean glance at each other before Sam swallows his bite of food and answers me.

"No, not a hunt…"

"Can I come with you? Please."

"Jenn─" Sam sounds tired and agitated, but I really want to get out.

"Sam, please. I haven't left this house in two weeks. No offence Bobby." I add the last part quickly. I really do appreciate him letting us stay here.

"None taken"

"Please Sammy!"

"No Jenny!" He bites, lowering his tone when he realizes how loud he was, "Listen, I don't know what we're getting into and I don't want you there."

I glance at him hurt before a scowl takes over my face, "Fine! Enjoy your breakfast."

I throw down my silverware and napkin before turning around and stomping my feet out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my guest room.

* * *

A few days later I sit with Bobby in his office, doing some research on the many theories of how to kill a zombie. I spent my first day without Sam and Dean just sitting in my room but Bobby has been letting me help him and I love it. I love working with such a veteran hunter, I've learned so much already.

"Yeah Luke, Some of these ideas are buckets of crazy, but this one sounds legit."

"Yep. No problem. Bye."

"Is he gonna call tomorrow?" I ask once Bobby puts the phone down.

"Yea. After his trip to the cemetery he'll call to tell us how it went."

"Great." I smile, closing the book.

"So you ready for bed kid?"

"I might just watch a little TV if you don't mind, Bobby."

"Of course not. We'll g'night kid. You know where I'll be." He gives me a small pat on the shoulders before heading to the stairs.

"Goodnight Bobby."

After I see him make his way to the top of the stairs and here his bedroom door close, I begin my nightly routine.

Walking over to his desk, I open the bottom drawer and grab the large bottle of Jack Daniels. I take the glass out of the same drawer and pour in some of the copper colored liquid. Quietly, I put the bottle back in the drawer and walk into the living room, sitting in front of the TV and taking a large gulp of the whiskey. It burns on the way down, but I like the feeling.

I hate this. A few years ago I was a normal kid with normal parents and an older sister that was in college and dating the love of her life. Now I'm sitting on the floor of the love of her life's surrogate uncle and waiting for him and his brother to get back from killing some crazy psycho clown. At least that's what Bobby said, because I was just too stubborn to stop being mad at Sam and talk to him. Which I realize now is extremely stupid.

I finish the glass and walk back on wobbly feet to Bobby's office grab the bottle, bringing it with me into the living room. I pour some more into my glass before I place the bottle into my duffel bag, and I watch the TV as I finish the glass off. Once it's done my mind is completely free. I don't have to think about Jessica, or the demon, or the fact that I was raped and didn't even know it.

* * *

"Jennifer. Wake up."

"Ugghhhh…"

"Sam and Dean are on their way."

"WHAT?!"

I sit up quickly, and my head explodes in pain which causes me to cringe. Once I give my temples a small rub I look at Bobby with wide eyes. Sam and Dean have only been gone for five days. Don't get me wrong, it's felt like much longer, but I figured they'd be gone for much longer on their first hunt back.

"They called and said they aren't far away. You should start packing up your things Jennifer."

I wipe the tiredness out of my eyes quickly and make sure that all of my clothes are in my bag. Once I'm done I grab my shorts and hot pink Ramones shirt, and then I head up to the bathroom.

It only takes me a few moments to change and then I grab my bathroom bag, using the toothbrush inside to brush my teeth and then zipping it back up. I take off down the stairs, wanting to get everything together before they get here, but once I get to the bottom I smack into something large and fall back onto the stairs, my head feeling like a jar full of marbles rolling around inside.

_Stupid hangover_

"Oh shit! Sorry Jenny. I was just coming to get you."

I look up at Dean hovering over me before he reaches out and pulls me into a standing position.

"Thanks." I mutter before pointing to the living room, "I have to go finish getting my stuff together. I'll be ready soon."

"Okay. Just meet us in the kitchen Jenny."

I grab my duffel bag from next to the couch and with a huff I throw it over my shoulder and walk into the kitchen to see all the boys around the table.

"Hey. You ready to go?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Thanks Bobby." Sam says as he and Dean stand up from their chairs, giving Bobby a strong handshake.

"Thanks for letting me stay here Bobby." I smile, "I really appreciate it."

"Sure thing, kid."

I give Bobby a small hug before walking out to the car with Sam and Dean. I throw my stuff into the trunk before I plop myself onto the seat with a huff.

"So how was your hunt? What was the deal with the killer clown?"

"Someone is in a better mood." Dean remarks, "When we left you wanted to rip our heads off."

"I'm sorry guys. I just─I─I don't know, but I'm sorry."

Sam turns around, staring at me, "Are you sure there's nothing going on?"

I put on my assuring smile and nod my head, "Of course."

He nods, I'm not sure if he believes me, but he certainly accepts it for now.

* * *

That night I sit on the couch, watching a scary movie as I paint my short nails in a black polish. It gets to the part where the killer is about to sneak up on its third victim when Sam walks into the room, a bowl of popcorn in his hands.

"Ohhh, You're awesome!"

"I thought you might like it." He chuckles, "Why are you painting you're nails black? Are you going Goth or something?"

"No. Black is cute. And it goes with everything."

"Oh. I see."

I grab some popcorn with my right hand and stuff it into my mouth. It has the perfect mixture of salt and butter and it tastes fantastic.

"So Jenny…"

"So Sammy…" I mock, knowing his tone is serious and I'm really not in the mood for a serious talk.

"Jenny…" He warns, causing me to sigh.

"What's up Sam?"

"I need you to talk to me."

"Ummm…About what?" I try and give him a nice perky smile, like absolutely nothing is bothering me.

"Listen, I know you've been having a really hard time lately. The whole Gon─"

"Sam!" I stop him, flinching just at the thought of the topic, "I don't…I don't want to talk about this."

"I know that. That's why I haven't been pushing you to."

"Oh. Cus' you're not pushing me right now?!"

"What is going on Jenny? I know what happened to you sucked, bu─"

"No you don't!" I yell, tears coming to my eyes, "You don't know anything about what happened to me!"

Sam's face turns from saddened to shocked immediately as I yell at him, knowing that something isn't right in my head, and knowing that he doesn't have all of the information.

"Jenn─"

Sam reaches out to touch my hand but I jump up, pulling away immediately.

"No! Just leave me alone!"

I run away to my room and slam the door, tears shaking my body as I collapse onto my bed.

* * *

**A/N:** Finally got my computer back from geeksquad! It took longer than expected but they did an amazing job! They replaced my entire keyboard and got me a new battery cus mine was a piece of crap. So I am officially back now, and things are gonna get really good...

lol. That felt a little cheesy :p

Oh and I love all my reviewers! Thank you so much!

~Mary


	31. Closer

**WARNING!** This chapter deals with rape.

* * *

**Closer**

_Ring, Ring_

I grab the phone next to my bed and answer it tiredly.

"Hello."

"_Hello, Jenny. It's Dr. Lewis."_

My eyes bulge as I whisper loudly into the phone.

"I told you to stop calling me!"

"_But Je─"_

"No! Stop calling me or I'll get a restraining order! I mean it!"

I slam the phone back into the receiver as I try to regulate my heavy breathing. I feel bad for yelling at her, I know she is just trying to help, but if anyone ever found out about what happened it would never be the same ever again. I can practically see Sam and Dean's looks of pity for the next few years, even when or if I get over it.

But I'm really not sure if I ever will get over it. This boy's face haunts me everyday.

"Jenn, Dinner's ready."

I look up at Dean, holding my door open just enough to fit his head in. I haven't really left my room since I yelled at Sam last night. I think they are just trying to give me my space, but I am scared because eventually they are going to want to talk about what happened.

"I don't feel good, Dean. I think I might just stay in my room."

This immediately gets Dean's attention and he opens my door fully, walking over to my bed and sitting down on the edge, placing his hand on my forehead.

"You don't have a fever."

"I know," I pout, "But my stomach is killing me. Can I just stay in my room tonight? Please Dean?" I add the last part with a sad pout that I can see wins Dean over.

"Do you want me to bring you something?"

"Maybe some ginger ale?"

"Sure thing, kiddo. I'll be back in a minute."

"Thanks Dean."

A few minutes later he comes back with the ginger ale and a worried Sam. After assuring them that I just need some sleep they let me be and I fall into a deep slumber with my Ipod playing in my ear.

* * *

_**You let me violate you  
You let me desecrate you  
You let me penetrate you  
You let me complicate you**_

"_We're gonna have some fun."_

_**Help me; I broke apart my insides  
Help me; I've got no soul to sell  
Help me; the only thing that works for me  
Help me get away from myself**_

_I look up into his eyes, full of lust and fury. He thrusts into me repeatedly as I let out whimpers of pain, tears leaking out from my eyes. But I can't speak, or even move as he abuses my body. _

_**I wanna fuck you like an animal  
I wanna feel you from the inside  
I wanna fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed**_

"_You like that, don't you?"_

_He moans on top of me, and I can see the sick thrill in his eyes as he feels powerful, like he is in control. I want to scream, yell, break free, but all that I can do is cry, low moans and whines coming from my soft lips._

"_Yea, you like it!"_

_---_

I cry and jump up from my bed in a cold sweat, panting heavily, scared as the music still plays in my ears. It takes me a few moments to realize that I have my Ipod on, so I quickly rip the buds form my ears, discarding them onto my nightstand. And a few moments later I make another discovery, the song, the one in my dream, the one that I was just listening to, was from the album he played when I got to his room.

Was my dream real? Was I just remembering what happened? Or was it all just something my head made up?

I look around my room scared, and make a run for it quickly. My feet carry me all the way down the stairs and into the living room. I grab the telephone in my shaky hands and go to sit at the desk in front of Sammy's computer.

I use the computer to find the number I am looking for and dial it before I can change my mind. Every ring is like a signal for me to hang up, but I can't bring my self to do it, I need answers.

"_Kernersville Inn, This is Johnny. Can I help you?"_

I instantly recognize his voice, it has been playing over and over in my head since that night. My breath hitches as I go to speak. I have no idea what to say to him.

"_Hello, is anyone there?"_

"Uh…Johnny?"

"_Yea, do I know you?"_

"Yea, my name's Jenny. You…uh…You…raped…me."

It comes out in a tearful whisper, but loud enough for him to hear.

"_Wh─"_

"I'm not going to press charges." I assure him quickly, afraid that he'll hang up. "I just need to know what happened. Why me?"

There is a long pause, and I am almost positive that he has hung up, but at the last moment he speaks up.

"_You were the blond one, the one that attacked me."_

"Yea. That was me." I bite my lip to hold in a sob, "So why did you do it?"

"_Listen. I have to go. Just be more careful with who you trust next time."_

"Wh─"

"_And if you ever feel like having a good time, call me. You were pretty amazing."_

"I was unconscious!"

"_Not completely. Those little moaning noises you made…and your body…M'hm."_

"You are a sick fuck." I shake my head, tears falling from my face and coating my lips.

"_If you'll excuse me I have to get back to work. Nice chatting with you Jenny. Call again anytime."_

I can practically hear him smirk before he hangs up, leaving me with my mouth agape into the phone as my back heaves slowly.

I hear the dial tone and hang up, resting my elbows on the desk and cradling my head in my hands as sobs rack my body. I can hear him moaning over me, his face looking down at me with lust as he took away part of my innocence.

* * *

"Jenny…"

"Jenny, wake up…"

I jump up, trying to push away whoever is grabbing me.

"GET OFF─!"

"Whoa! It's just me!" Sam yells as Dean runs in, hearing the confrontation, "Are you okay?"

It takes me a second to wake up my mind, but when I do I know that I can't tell him anything. So I brush it off, acting like nothing happened.

"Yea, of course." I mutter, standing up from the desk and walking to the kitchen.

"Really? Because you look like you've been crying."

I look into the reflection of the small mirror on the kitchen wall, seeing my tearstained cheeks and large bags under my eyes. But I just give them a wipe and go to get some food.

"Well I wasn't."

When I turn around from grabbing some bread out of the cabinet I find Sam and Dean staring at me solemnly from across the kitchen island.

"Jenny…"

"What is this, an intervention?" I chuckle bitterly.

"We know something is going on." My smile drops as Dean speaks, scared that he and Sam are figuring out my secret.

"What are you talking about?"

Sam answers, "Jenny, you've been locked up in your room, you're extremely irritable. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on."

"Oh," I bite back cynically, "So you two have me all figured out, is that it?"

"No. That's not what we're saying. We─"

"You're right! You have no idea what the fuck I'm going through!"

"Jenny!" They both scold.

"No! So stay out of my business!"

And for the second time in one week I stomp off to my room and slam the door strongly behind me.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And the song lyrics were 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails, very creepy song.  
****And a special thanks to whereintheworld for helping come up with this amazingly dramatic storyline at a time that I was struggling with major writer's block. **

*****New one shot for Jenny is going to be posted immediatly after I post this, so I hope you guys check it out!*****


	32. Shattered

**Shattered**

"Jenny, Are you awake?"

I squeeze me eyes tight, my back to Sam, as I lie in the fetal position on my bed wanting to just shut out the world. However this is complicated when two anxious Winchesters won't get off my back.

"Not anymore."

"Dinner's ready."

Sam walks over to me as I turn around to face him, sitting up on my bed.

"I think I might just stay in my room tonight. I'm not feeling too great."

"Jenny, this is the third night in a row. You need to come downstairs for dinner."

"I don't want to. Please Sam."

Usually he concedes by now, but he doesn't seem to be giving into my act. I can tell he feels bad, but his face holds stern as he responds.

"No, I want you to come down for dinner."

"Sam, Please." I try one last time.

"No Jenny. You haven't come out of your room in three days. You need to come downstairs." He gives me a strong look, letting me know that he means business. Finally I realize that this isn't a fight that I am going to win and I drag myself out of bed with a large roll of my eyes.

"Fine. Whatever." I mutter as I stomp out of my room, not bothering to change out of my flannel Pajama bottoms and one of Sam's baggy sweatshirts.

I trudge down the stairs with a sour look on my face for every step. Once I get to the bottom I enter the kitchen and see Dean putting three plates covered with steak, green beans, and mashed potatoes on the table.

I stomp over to the table and plop myself down into the seat with an angry growl planted on my face. Dean slows his movements and throws me a questioning glance, but I just cross my arms and glance in another direction.

"Okay." Dean mumbles, finishing the transfer of food and sitting down across from me.

It doesn't take long before Sam comes into the kitchen with an exhausted expression on his face and sits down at the table.

"Dig in." Dean says before him and Sam pickup their silverware.

Dean cuts up his steak before placing it into his mouth while Sam starts on the potatoes. I just sit back with my arms crossed, burning a hole through the table with my eyes.

"Eat up, Jenny. It's going to get cold." Dean mutters between bites.

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat Jenn." Sam tells me, not looking up as he pierces some green beans with his fork.

"I said, I'm. Not. Hungry."

Finally Sam glances at me, not giving into my attitude, "I'm not fooling around Jennifer. You haven't eaten in three days. I want you to eat _now_."

I know what he is worried about. I've been distant, not speaking or eating for days, and when I do speak it is laced with anger and distaste. And Sam knows that this is what happens in the early stages of my depression. I know that it's happening. It's like a creature eating my body from the inside, and I've already given in to it. It's taking control of me and I don't have enough energy to stop it.

"Eat Jenny. _Now._"

A scoff escapes my mouth before I stand up and begin to walk off from the table. Dean sighs at my growing attitude, but Sam instantly jumps up and runs after me. He grabs onto my arm and spins me around to face him.

"Get back to that table now!"

I try to jerk my arm up but his grip is to strong so I give him a strong push on his chest with tears in my throat, "You can't tell me what to do! You're not my father! He's dead! So stop trying to act like him and just leave me alone!"

Sam's expression goes blank, he loosens the grip on my arm and I turn away and run up the stairs to my room, slamming the door loudly behind me.

My shaking legs walk to my bed, trembling with each step as I find it harder to get oxygen to my lungs. Finally my legs give out as I fall onto my unmade bed, tears pooling silently in the rims of my eyes. My breathing is staggered and my vision is appearing to me in flashes, some of the present and some of the night that is haunting me. I don't actually remember it, but I can picture it. Me lying there, barely conscious as Johnny takes advantage of my body. I place a shaky hand to my chest and feel my heart beating wildly against it.

I put a trembling hand on my bedside and push myself into a standing position. Walking into the bathroom, I go to the shower and turn on the hot water knob. Hopefully it will calm me down a bit.

I take off Sam's baggy sweatshirt, leaving on the tank top I have on underneath. I carelessly push the elastic from my pajama pants over my hips and let them fall to the ground before stepping out of them with my hands on the sink to keep my balance.

My head is hanging down while tears work their way out of my eyes and my breath makes its way out of my throat in quick raspy pants. I want to end this feeling, for it to come to a stop. Without as much as a single thought I run to the shower, throwing open the curtain and stepping in side. I don't even notice that I am still partially clothed as I dig through my shower supplies and grab my razor.

Once I have it held in my hands I step out of the shower, sitting on the edge of the tub as the steam coats my wet skin. My labored breaths become greater like they always do once I get the razor in my hands, but I know how it all goes away once I make that first slice. However, when I get the cool metal to my skin I pause. One half of my mind is screaming at me to just do it already, but the other half can't bring myself to do it.

"Just do it." I cry to myself, tightening my hold on the razor.

"Fucking do it!" But no matter what I do I just can't make my body act.

"Ahh!"

I scream piercingly, pulling the razor above my head and hurling it across the bathroom with excessive force.

I stand up from the tub and stomp over to the sink, "God dammit!"

I raise my hands over my head once again, hot tears pouring down my beet red cheeks, and crash them down into the mirror. It breaks into little pieces, shattering onto the tiled floor of my bathroom. A sob escapes my mouth as I lower myself to the floor with all of the smashed pieces of my mirror.

I feel the shards of glass digging and making cuts into my soft flesh, but I don't have the strength to pull myself up. I cry in deep sobs as I pull my shaky hands up from the ground to see them covered in blood and scratches, and some glass still embedded in my skin.

"Jenny!"

I look up to see Sam and Dean run into my room, looking around madly with worry. Once Sam catches my eyes I can practically see his stomach drop.

"Oh god."

"Jenny!" Dean calls out as he runs to the bathroom, careful of the glass as he kneels down next to me and reaches out towards me, "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Don't touch me!" I cry, pulling back from his gentle hands.

Sam is now by my side as well and grasps me by the arms, "Jenny, what─"

"Don't! Stop it!" I trash from his grasp and pull myself away from Sam and Dean, leaving a trail of blood as I pull my body across the floor.

All I can see in my mind is that boy, his face hovered over my body, grunting and moaning as he thrusts into me roughly.

"Ahh!" I bite my lips to stop from crying out as my exposed thighs are cut with more glass.

"Jenny! What's wrong?" Sam asks, speaking with his hands as he and Dean both stand up carefully.

"Just leave, please! Just get out!"

"We're not leaving Jenn." Dean tells me, scared for me, "Why don't we get out of the bathroom and get you cleaned up."

I grasp my hands on the toilet bowl, pushing myself into a standing position with my head shaking angrily and tears running down my face as I cry in hysterics, "You…You can't clean me! I'm too dirty! I'm disgusting!"

"Jenny, what are you talking about?" Sam tries to approach me calmly.

"DON'T!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I back into the corner, scaring both Sam and Dean, "I'm a gross, dirty slut!"

"Jenny, you just have to calm down! We want to help you, okay?" Sam tries to sooth me.

My voice finally lowers as my body relaxes slightly, "I'm just…I'm so tired…I'm just so tired."

"I know you are. Just let us help you."

"I can't control it. I can't control anything."

My eyes droop and my limbs start to get tingly, maybe from pain, maybe from blood loss. I feel my legs begin to give out and before I know it I am wrapped up in Sam's arms, crying as he picks up my scrapped and bloody body off of the floor.

"It's okay." He calms me.

I try to struggle, but as Sam walks me by the mirror I see myself, cuts all over my wet body and blood dripping off of me, onto the floor. And the ground is covered in blood coated glass and smears of blood from where I dragged myself across the floor. Almost like a switch my body turns off, my eyes are open but there is no light behind them. I can hear and see everything around me, but I am distanced, not a part of it at all.

"You're gonna be okay." Sam brushes a hand through my sopping wet hair as he lowers me onto my bed, "How many stitches do you think she needs?"

"I don't know if she needs any." Dean replies, "There's a lot of blood, but I don't think the cuts are too deep. She probably just needs some disinfectant."

"Jenny?" Sam asks, beginning to get worried that I am no longer moving or crying.

"Jenny!"

Sam cups my face, icy to the touch, and tries to get some spark of acknowledgment into my eyes, "Come on, look at me Jenny!"

"Should we take her to the hospital?"

"No. Just get me some clothes for her, pajamas and some underwear."

Dean does what he's told and comes back with a pair of my pajama shorts, a long sleeved black shirt, and a pair of underwear.

"We should probably clean her up first. Or else she's going to get blood all over these."

Sam nods and goes to get the disinfect. When he comes back him and Dean each take some gauze and wet it with the alcohol disinfectant. They start at my feet and work their way up until they have my hands clean. They apply a few band aids to the larger cuts that continue to bleed and then throw away the dirty supplies.

"I guess I should…" Sam says to Dean, picking up the fresh clothes from the end of my bed.

"Yeah, well. I'm gonna go…away."

Dean turns for the door, not wanting to see that part of me, and Sam rolls his eyes, beginning to lift up my tank top.

_I am positioned in his bed. He removes my shirt as I just lie there without protest, not able to move a single part of my body to stop him. He takes off my jeans and his eyes light up, staring down at my petite body._

"_We're gonna have some fun."_

"AHHHHHHH!!! GET OFF OF ME!"

I thrash around wildly with my eyes closed, hitting the person who is touching my body, trying to get me to expose myself.

"Leave me alone! Please!" Tears now pour out of my eyes.

"Jenny! Jenny! It's us!"

I feel my body pinned down on both sides and someone grabbing my face, giving it gentle but urgent taps. Finally I pry my eyes and look up, relieved at who I see.

"Sam?" I cry.

"Yeah it's me."

"Sam!" I sob, throwing myself up into his arms, "Don't leave me Sam. Don't let him get me!"

I sob into Sam's chest as he sits next to me on the bed, enveloping me in his arms and exchanging worried glances with Dean.

"Don't let who get you?"

"Please don't leave me!"

Sam rubs my back as it heaves violently, my arms squeezing tighter and tighter around his neck, tabling his question for the time being. He whispers soothing words and strokes my back gently, lulling me to sleep and laying me back into my bed.

* * *

"What the hell was that?"

"You think I know, Dean?!"

The boys lower their heads tiredly, rubbing there eyes, wishing that this was all a dream that they could wake up from.

Sam sits down at the dining room table, running over all of the events of today in his head before coming to a conclusion, "I think we need to call someone."

"What do you mean someone?"

"She's falling back into a depression Dean, I can feel it. She needs a therapist. Maybe if we caught this a little earlier we could handle this ourselves, but we are in way over our heads here. We need help."

"Don't I know it." Dean sits down across from Sam, "And what was with that 'Don't let him get me' stuff?"

"I have no idea." Sam shrugs tiredly, "I figure we can let her cool down and sleep for a bit and then see if she'll talk to us."

"Sounds like a plan."

Sam and Dean sit in a silence for almost an hour, each having a few beers in that amount of time. The thing that disrupts their silence is a muffled scream.

"You heard that right?"

Sam looks to Dean who gives him a nod in return and in a second they are both going up the stairs. Sam gets to the door first and throws it open, his stomach dropping at what he finds.

"Where is she?" Dean asks, stepping inside and making sure to inspect all corners of the room.

"I think I have an idea."

Sam walks across the room sadly, stopping in front of the window, the open window.

* * *

**A/N: I hope that you all liked this chapter! Very dramatic right? And this isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I'll have the next chapter up soon. It might be a bit shorter than usual but something REALLY BIG is gonna happen. **

**Reviews are always appreciated!**


	33. And So You Fell

**A/N:**

…**And So You Fell**

As soon as I hear their footsteps leave the hallway and go downstairs I jump up from my bed, walking immediately to my dresser and putting on a pair of jeans and a black wife beater. However once I catch the sight of my scratched up arms in the mirror I throw my black long sleeved shirt on over it that Dean took out for me.

My purse is lying by my door so I quietly go to grab it and throw it over my shoulder when I hear Sam and Dean's voices downstairs.

"_I think we need to call someone."_

"_What do you mean someone?"_

"_She's falling back into a depression. She needs a therapist. Maybe if we caught this a little earlier we could handle it ourselves, but we are in way over our heads. We need help."_

My breath hitches in my throat. They're going to send me off to some shrink. One who will have all of my medical history and alert Sam and Dean of what happened to me. She'll tell Sam and Dean and they'll know what a disgusting and tainted girl I am.

I walk to the first aid kit by the side of my bed and pull out one of the items, quickly stuffing it in my bag and making my way to my window. Once the window is open I step out onto the steep roof and come to the edge, reaching across and stepping onto the tree that I sometimes go out on to read. I try and take my time climbing down, but I loose my footing slightly and fall to the ground, landing on my arm and letting out a painful scream.

The snap from my arm and throbbing in my ribs barely phases me as I get up and run as fast as possible, knowing that Sam and Dean will have heard my scream and are probably running upstairs at the very moment.

I reach my destination, the bus stop at the corner, and sit on the bench, finally able to lift up the sleeve of my shirt to inspect the wrist that I can tell is either broken or badly sprained. I want to inspect my ribs, but letting the death grip I have on my left wrist go is not an option. I just do my best to standup straight as the bus pulls up.

I get onto the bus and find a seat all the way in back. My hair is still a bit wet, but at least I'm in my fresh clothes. My face is solemn and occasionally twinges in pain as passengers get on and off the bus which makes a handful of stops before getting to the one I need.

I step off the bus, walking down the street filled with large and upscale houses, stopping at the very familiar house. However today it has a couple dozen cars parked in front and music blasting from the windows.

The door is unlocked so I step inside, met with rowdy teenagers and the smell of booze. They are running all over so I go through the crowd awkwardly, trying not to bump into anyone.

"Jenny! What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it!"

I jump at the yelling, but relax once I see that it is only Charlie. Straight away I try to make the hold on my wrist seem normal and relaxed and ignore the severe pain in my side.

"Yea. I decided to come. You gotta enjoy summer while it lasts, right?"

"Right! Now let's get you something to drink. What are you in the mood for?"

"I'll take whatever." I shrug my shoulders, following her into the kitchen.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea! What? Why?"

"I don't know. You seem a little out of it."

"I'm fine." I smile as we get to the alcohol, "I just drank a little on the way over here, so I'm a little tipsy."

"Oh…" She laughs, "Well just make sure you take it easy."

"Sure thing."

"I have to go make sure no one has thrown up on my carpet or broken my mom's glass shoe collection. I'll be right back."

I smile and nod as she leaves the kitchen, instantly grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the table and making my way out the back door and onto the back patio, not bothering to meet the glances of any other teens.

Even over the loud music the only thing I can hear is his voice over and over again in my ear.

"_Those little moaning noises you made…and your body…M'hm."_

I sit down onto the ground carefully as tears fill my eyes, my back leaning against the wall as I open up my purse, taking out a small orange bottle that I took from the first aid kit. With shaky hands I dump half of the bottle into my palm. I bite back a tear of doubt before throwing them into my mouth and gulping them down with a big swig of whiskey.

I take out my phone quickly, hitting the number one speed dial followed by send. It only rings once when it is picked up by an urgent voice.

"Jenny, Where are you?"

"I'm so sorry Sam." I cry sadly, my voice feeling dull and tired.

"It's okay. Just tell me where you are. Dean and I will come get you."

"You did everything you could. You really tried. I'm just sorry it wasn't worth it. I love you Sam." My voice pitches as tears make their way to my eyes.

"Jenny, what are you talking about?" His voice shows that he is becoming aware of the danger I am in.

"It wouldn't stop Sammy. It was never going to stop. I had to make it stop." I shake my head sadly as my eyes begin to droop, the effects of the pills beginning to take toll.

"Oh god─ Jenny, what did you do?!"

"I had to make it stop…It wouldn't stop."

"What?! Jenny you need to tell me where you are!" I can hear the cries start to come from him as he struggles to speak.

"It's too late." I say as my speech begins to slur, the feeling in my face is leaving me.

"Wh─" The phone is pulled away from him and before I know it the older Winchester is on the line.

"Jenny, kiddo, it's Dean. I need you to tell me whose house you're at."

His voice is urgent, but calm, knowing that if he becomes irrational it will make me more unreasonable.

"The party─"

"What? What party Jenny?" He waits for my voice to answer him, but becomes nervous when I don't. "Jenny?! Answer me!"

"Charlie."

As I feel the medicine start to fully take over and I can't help but smile, for the first time in a long time I hear…silence.

* * *

**Review??**


	34. Scar Tissue

**Scar Tissue**

When I awake my eyes find the blinding white ceiling. I try to lift my head up, but I feel a strong resistance on my face, and when I bring my hands to my mouth I feel the tube that is going in my mouth and irritating my throat.

_Where am I?_

"Uhhh." I try and yell through the tube, beginning to struggle.

After only seconds I begin to thrash wildly, and in an instant a male doctor in green scrubs and a lab coat and a nurse in pink scrubs come rushing into my room.

"Jennifer. It's okay! You're in a hospital! We're taking care of you!"

The doctor looks me in the eyes while the nurse tries to sooth me.

"Do you want me to take the tube out?"

I nod my head as much as the restricting equipment will allow and the doctor nods back at me, pushing a small amount of medicine into my throat.

"Okay, when I say so I want you to blow out as hard as you can."

I nod and he undoes the Velcro that holds the contraption to my face and lifts my head up of the soft pillow to give me leverage.

"Okay, now."

I blow out as I hard as I can and the doctor pulls the tube out at the same time, aggravating my sore throat and causing me to cough once he gets it out.

"Very good."

He puts the tube in the trash while the nurse sucks the excess fluid out of my mouth. I push her hand away, looking at the doctor.

"Wh─" I cough, not use to the roughness of my voice and realizing that I have to speak in whispers, "my brothers"

"You're brothers are in the cafeteria. They were up here for a while, but they were long overdue for some coffee."

"How long?" I rasp out and the doctor seems to understand what I am saying, bringing over a metal stool and sitting down next to me.

"You've been unconscious for a little over two days. Do you remember what happened?"

I look down at my hands, picking at the firm blue cast that I discover on my left wrist. I really do remember the events of that night; I just can't bring myself to talk about it.

"Well you swallowed half a bottle of Vicodin with whiskey. We had to pump your stomach. You also suffered fractures to your wrist and rib bones."

His voice is harsh, but I know that he isn't trying to make me feel bad, he is trying to make me admit what I did, to talk about it.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself. I just…I wanted it all to stop."

"You wanted what to stop?"

"The voices…in my head. They were so loud." I tell him, tears rimming my eyes, "I couldn't even sleep without the nightmares."

"Do you want to tell me what the nightmares were about?"

I shake my head violently, "No."

He nods understandingly and grabs a folder from the end of my bed, flipping it open and looking through the many pages.

"Well I had your doctor fax over your medical history, Jennifer. And it says here that a few weeks ago you tested positive for Rohypnol. Would that have anything to do with what happened the other day?"

"What?! That's none of your business!"

"Calm down," He tells me, placing a soothing hand on my arm, "I just want to help."

"I don't need any help."

"I think we both know that's not true."

Tears start to stream down my eyes and I wipe them away quickly, "Just don't tell my brothers, okay? I don't want them to know. It'll only hurt them. They don't need to know."

"And you think being here know isn't hurting them? If you tell them they'll help you get better. And I think you'll all be a lot happier than you are now."

I look up as the doctor stands, pushing his stool back and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Your brothers are going to want to know that you're up."

I nod through my tears, letting him leave. I hate him so much for putting me on the spot, but I can't fight the feeling that he's right. I just wanted to protect Sam and Dean from what happened to me. I also feel so ashamed, like they would some how think less of me for being stupid enough for letting it happen. I just wish that I never left the motel room that night. Then none of this would have ever happened.

I let my right hand rub my throbbing throat as the cries bother it even more. I used to be a normal teenage girl. Now I'm the girl I used to find pathetic and disgusting, the dumb and irresponsible girl that overdoses at some high school party.

"Jenny…"

I look up from my bed at Sam and Dean standing in the door. The next thing I know Sam is walking towards me as tears fall down his eyes. He wraps his arms around me as I sob into the blue fabric of his shirt that smells like it hasn't been washed for a few days, but I still breathe it in deeply.

He pulls back, staring at me thankfully as he runs a comforting hand over my hair, checking me over himself before sitting down on the edge of my bed, taking my hand gently in his.

I feel someone place a strong but tender hand on my shoulder and I look to see Dean on the other side of my bed.

"You gave us one hell of a scare kiddo."

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean─"

"It's okay." Dean shushes, letting me collapse into his embrace as he senses that I'm not anywhere near ready to talk about it. He rubs the top of my back soothingly as my head rests against his stomach and he kisses the top of my head.

* * *

I'm awoken for the second time in my hospital stay to see a girl setting up a tray of food on my table. She is a beautiful and petite girl, probably in her early to mid twenties. Her medium length hair is chestnut brown and she has on a pair of blue jeans, a cute but sophisticated long-sleeved black sweater, and a pair of black high-heeled stilettos.

"Hey, you're awake."

I think of giving a bitter comment back, but she smiles genuinely and it actually makes me feel a little better.

"Hi. Who are you?"

"My name's Anne." She says, wheeling over the table so it goes across my bed.

"I'm Jenny." I smile, "And I hope you don't mind me asking, but who are you exactly?"

"Well I work with the hospital. I'm a tutor for the pediatrics unit, and I'll be helping you with your work while you're out of school."

"Oh…okay. Well nice to meet you."

"You say that now" She laughs, "But wait till I'm making you do geometry homework."

I laugh with her before taking a look at the food in front of me. The pancakes don't look too bad, but the bacon is all flat and rubbery.

"This looks appetizing."

"I know, the food here sucks. But I figured the pancakes would be easier on your throat then the chicken. So I made the chef heat up some breakfast for you."

"Thanks."

"No problem. And what do you want to drink? There is milk, juice, soda, and milkshakes."

"Milkshake, please." I smile and she nods, turning and leaving my room.

"Be right back, Jenny."

I start in on the food once Anne leaves, eating the pancakes in small bites so I don't hurt my throat. It is rough on the way down, but the food feels great as it fills up my previously empty stomach.

"Slow down, tiger."

I look up to see Dean and Sam walking into the room, smiles on there faces.

"Hi." I look at them awkwardly, still unsure where I stand in their eyes.

"I see you got some food." Sam says, sitting down on the end of my bed.

"Yeah. My tutor brought it in. She's really nice." I smile, feeling more comfortable as Sam starts conversation.

"That's great."

"All they had was vanilla Jenny. I hope that's okay." Anne speaks as she walks back in and takes notice of the new faces in the room.

"Anne, these are my brothers, Sam and Dean."

"Hi, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

She shakes Sam's extended hand and nods to Dean who I can tell is looking over her body longingly.

"Here you go Jenny."

"Thank you so much." I say with enthusiasm, slurping the drink immediately as she places it in my hand while Sam gives here a thankful smile.

She chuckles at my eagerness, but a phone in my room rings and she picks it up in the corner of my room.

"Yep…Okay…I'll let her know."

Anne hangs up the phone and turns back around to me, the same bubbly smile on her face.

"So that was Dr Lee, the Psychiatrist. He said he should be here in about ten minutes for your appointment."

A look of sourness immediately passes over my fragile features and everyone takes notice. Apparently all suspected overdoses need to be seen by a psychiatrist before you can even think of getting out of this place. Sam grips my hand and squeezes it tight as I turn to him and Dean with a sad pout.

"You guys, I really don't want to talk to him."

"It'll be fine, Jenny." Sam urges.

"And who knows kiddo," Dean adds with a hand on my shoulder, "Maybe you'll like talking to someone."

"Please, don't make me do this."

Sam and Dean look down at me, trying to come up with another way to win me over, but the final bid comes from Anne.

"Jenn, Doctor Lee is really nice, you have nothing to worry about. And how about while you talk to him I can take your brothers down to the faculty cafeteria and sneak you some of the chef's famous cake."

The boys turn there eyes back down to me quickly, hoping that I give in, which after I sigh I finally do.

"Fine. But only if it's chocolate."

* * *

"I believe that you don't want to commit suicide, Jenny. But what happened the other night is still very alarming. I just want to do all I can to help you."

"Well I don't see how upsetting my brothers will help me."

"It's not about upsetting your brothers. It's about letting them help you."

"Well I don't need their help!"

Dr. Lee takes in a deep breath, placing his notepad down in his lap and taking off his glasses to get a better look at me.

"So you don't think about the rape at all? That wasn't the last thing that went through your head before you took the pills?"

Tears start to leak from my eyes as I look down at my hands, thumbing one of the ties on my robe that is covering my gown. I know that what he is saying is true, that the sound of that boy's voice was what I was trying to silence.

"How do I─" My voice cracks, "How do I tell them? I can't just blurt it out."

"I can help you tell them if you would like."

"No─" I shake my head, "I need to do it by myself. I can't have anyone else tell them. Just…What do I say?"

After talking for another fifteen minutes with Dr. Lee he leaves my room, soon enough for Sam and Dean to come in with a plate of cake. They place it down on my table as I sit Indian style on the bed, retying my light blue robe tightly around my torso, not able to look at them quite yet.

"So Anne wasn't exaggerating about this cake." Dean raves, "And speaking of Anne, you think you can help a brother out?"

Dean nudges my shoulder slightly and I don't even chuckle, alerting them that something is off.

"Are you okay Jenny?" Sam asks.

"I─"

"Yea kiddo?" Dean encourages.

"I think I'm ready to talk about what happened."

I look up from my robe finally with tears in my eyes as Sam sits down on the edge of my bed, and Dean follows suit quickly on the opposite side.

"Just please don't be mad at me."

"We could never be mad at you, kiddo." Dean smiles, squeezing my hand quickly.

I take in a deep breath, looking down as quiet tears pool in my eyes but don't make their way out yet. My breathing is at a normal rate but is coming in sharp inhales.

"You remember that night at the motel we stayed at? The guy who I punched?"

"You mean the guy who gave you Gonorrhea?" Dean asks.

But he is instantly regretting the answer when he sees a tear finally fall from my eyes, but I quickly wipe it away, nodding my head.

"Yeah, him. Well…He's why I did it."

"You took the pills because of the std? I thought you said you were over it? You told me you were just glad you weren't pregnant." Sam replies.

"Yea, well─" My voice breaks as I try to get the words out, "that was before the second doctor's appointment."

"What second appointment?"

"You and Dean were hunting with your Dad."

"Well what happened?" Dean asks, nervously.

"She uhh…Well the doctor did this test. And it was…positive." My voice gets high pitched as I quietly squeak out the last word through my tears.

Sam and Dean exchange nervous looks before looking back down at me. Sam slowly begins to rub a hand up and down my arm, my cast making it hard for him to hold my hand.

"What kind of test Jenny?"

"It was─"

"Yeah?"

"It said─"

My voice breaks, unable too continue again, and Dean places a comforting hand on my hand, "What did the test say Jenn?"

"It─ It said─"

"It said what Jenny?"

Just tell them. You can do it. Just say it. Say it! _Say it!_

"It said I was raped!" I finally blurt out with a sob, grasping my hand to my mouth in shock that I said it so loudly.

There faces immediately turn from comforting to angry, rage filling there eyes. After the look of being punched in the gut wears off Dean gradually clenches his chin, trying to restrain himself from screaming and Sam looks like he doesn't even know where to begin to process the information.

"You─ He─"

"I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't stop picturing it, dreaming about it, hearing his voice in my head!" I cry through gritted teeth.

"It wouldn't stop." My cries are quieter as Dean meets my eye line and his face softens as he looks at my broken form, "I just wanted it to stop."

I unsuccessfully try to control my breathing before continuing, "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I didn't mean to hurt you guys. I just─ He─ He raped me."

Finally my voice breaks and I fall apart, my body giving out and heaving violently in sobs, but I feel Sam hold me up in his arms, tightly and protectively as I grasp onto his shirt.

"He─ He─"

I sob into his shoulder as he soothes my heaving back with soft but firm strokes. I feel another hand softly wiping the tears from my cheek and I open my eyes just enough to see Dean with a hand on my face, staring right into my glossy orbs. He leans in, placing a soft kiss on my forehead, and once he pulls away I see a sight I never thought I'd see. Dean Winchester, one of the bravest people I've ever met, has a single tear painfully making its way down his cheek.


	35. Lesson Learned

**A/N:**** First of all I am so sorry it's taken me so long to update. The end of senior year has been very cruel to me. lol. But I am officially done as of yesterday! Yesss! So I spent last night watch the finale of American Idol and writing(YAY LEE! I actually used his version of hallelujah to inspire me for writing.) I feel so bad about the wait so this is a bit longer then usual. Hope you all like it! **

**Love ya! X O X O X O X O**

**

* * *

**

**Lesson Learned**

"So remember," The doctor tells Sam, Dean and I, "No being alone for the two weeks. Eating, sleeping, even showers all need to be supervised."

I roll my eyes and bite my lip, not looking forward to the showering part of this scenario. Sure I will have a shower curtain as a barrier so I won't really have to be exposed, but it's still just weird! I get my last item of clothing into my suitcase and zip it up awkwardly with my one useful arm, carrying it over to where Sam and Dean are speaking to the Doc.

"I'm ready."

Sam puts an arm on my back, ready to lead me out of the room, but the doctor puts his arm out to stop us.

"Actually. I have to talk to your brothers about one more thing. Do you mind waiting outside for just one moment?"

I sigh at the tone that I find a bit condescending, but Sam nods his head and gives my arm a pat, "Go ahead Jenny. We'll be out in a second."

"Fine."

I offer a feeble goodbye to the doctor and exit the hospital room. I look down the hall, thinking of going down the hall to the lounge. However I hear the Doctor begin to speak and can't help but stall, wanting to listen.

"_So I just wanted to make sure before you left that you understand that you need to pay a lot of attention to Jennifer in the coming months."_

"_We're aware of that Doc."_ Dean says in a way that I'm sure earned him a glare from Sam.

"_She is very fragile right now. Try not to let her get too distant from others, but make sure that she doesn't try and put too much on her plate at once. I know that Dr. Lee will be seeing her weekly, but feel free to call him or myself at any time if you feel that anything is off."_

Great! Now there is more inspiration for them to not give me any privacy in the months to come. I might as well just kiss the life I knew goodbye. Of course after everything I would be stupid to think that it would go back to the way it was before.

"…eavesdropper"

I turn quickly to see Anne by my side, a smirk on her face while she catches me in the act.

"Sorry. Just curious." I smile sheepishly.

"Sure girly. Come on. Let's go read some trashy magazines in the lounge."

Anne takes my suitcase from my hand and leads me out of the hallway. We get to the pediatric lounge and sit down on one of the couches, finding a good issue of US Weekly almost immediately. Anne tries to cheer me up by showing me some pictures of the always crazy Britney Spears, but I can't give her more than a small smirk of acknowledgement.

"We're all ready Jenny."

I look up to Sam and Dean with relief. Nothing sounds better than getting out of here right now.

"Hey Anne." Dean says as I stand up, no doubt adding his charming smirk that makes all the girls go weak in the knees.

"Hey guys. I was just keeping Jenny company."

"Thanks Anne," I turn to her as I grab my bag, "I'll see you on Wednesday for tutoring."

"Yep. Try to get in some reading before then, okay?"

"Can't wait."

Sam gives Anne a polite wave and smile, while Dean opts for another one of his grins. I just roll my eyes and walk off with the polar opposite brothers.

The car ride home is silent, everyone to nervous to think of something to say. I can see Sam attempt it a hand full of times, but he must realize that it sounds silly before it can reaches his lips. Dean doesn't try to speak as much, but he glances back at me in the rearview mirror almost every minute. Whenever I catch him looking he immediately averts his eyes, pretending to be upset about the person behind us driving too close to his baby.

I finally see the sight of our home and am overcome with a bittersweet feeling. On one hand I am thrilled to be somewhere familiar without the nagging doctors and nurses. However the house also holds some painful memories of the past, like my still open bedroom window and the skid mark on the ground where I fell from the tree.

I get out of the car with Sam and Dean, staring up at the intimidating two stories, unsure if I want to run in and jump on the couch or take off in the opposite direction.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump at the sudden contact, turning to face the culprit. Sam moves back, regret gracing his features immediately. I try and smile, to assure him that he didn't send me into some violent flashback of my assault.

"Sorry Sam. You surprised me."

He shakes his head immediately, "It's fine. You ready to go in?"

I nod slowly, as convincingly as possible. I walk up the stairs and let Sam unlock the door, Dean finally catching up to us with my bags in his arms.

The door opens and I step inside. Once I get in a smell the familiar aroma I can't fight the tears that come to my eyes. Not because it hurts too much, or because it reminds me off what happened. But because I thought I'd never smell that smell again, the mixture of Dean's cologne, my favorite perfume, and the incense that I buy all the time downtown. I quickly wipe them away, not wanting to scare the boys and make them think I that I'm having a meltdown.

"I'm actually am kind of tired. Do you mind if I crash on the couch?"

"You don't want to sleep in your room?" Dean asks.

"Well I just figure if you too have to keep me in sight it'll be easier if I'm on the couch."

Sam and Dean nod slowly, slightly uncomfortable and surprised that I brought up my psych watch. They don't seem to be in the process of forming words so I try and help them along, "So is it okay?"

Sam and Dean perk up immediately, "Oh yeah, of course."

I try and offer them a smile before I go to the couch, letting my body fall into the familiar cushions. I bury my head into the pillows and close my eyes, falling asleep as Sam and Dean settle down in the chairs around me, putting the television on quietly.

* * *

The smell of something cooking wakes me up, and I am surprised to see that it is already dark out. I sit up and want to smile at the sight of Sam asleep in his chair, a book in his lap.

The sound of something falling in the kitchen catches my interest and I stand up, giving my free arm a good stretch before heading out of the living room.

My heart is warmed at the sight, but I can't get a smile on my face as I walk closer. Dean making dinner, something he usually does at this house. But it feels different somehow, and I find it so caring and sweet.

Dean looks up and catches my eye, "Hey…How was your nap?"

"Uh…refreshing."

"Good. That's good." He plays awkwardly with the large spoon in his hands as I fumble my fingers.

"Well dinner is ready, so would you mind getting Sam?"

I nod, wanting to get to the eating part quickly. The idea of everyone's mouths being filled with food, preventing them from talking, sounds very appealing to me. I tap Sam gently on the shoulder and alert him about dinner, having him follow me into the kitchen where we sit at the table as Dean brings over the food.

"You made Chicken Parmigiana?" I look up at Dean.

"Well I figured since it's your first night back you should get your favorite meal."

I nod my head, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. I grab the plate that Dean makes for me and immediately take a bite, the taste buds going crazy in my mouth.

"This is so much better than hospital food." I chuckle shyly.

The food is gone from my plate before the blink of an eye. The taste of home cooked food really makes my stomach pleased. Food is the one of the things that I missed while in the hospital. The thing that I missed the most was taking a nice long shower, but since my suicide attempt I am not allowed to do anything without a watchful eye. And since there are no shower curtains in the hospital bathrooms I haven't done more than shampoo my hair in the sink for the two weeks. I am in desperate need of a Silkwood shower.

"How was your dinner?" Sam grabs my attention as he clears the table.

"Oh…It was great. Thanks."

Sam nods his head, still having to get used to my non-enthusiastic self. I stand up, walking to the counter where Sam and Dean are clearing up. It takes a few moments of me standing there awkwardly for them to look up, realizing I need something.

"Yeah Jenn?"

"Uh─Well─"

"Whatsup?"

"I kinda need to take a shower." I say awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck with my non-casted hand, "And the doctor said that I'm not allowed to take one without someone making sure I'm─ Well, that I don't─"

I can't really form the sentence without it sounding completely wrong in my head, so I just move one, figuring Sam got the picture.

"I need someone to wrap my cast."

"Oh right." Sam nods, I can tell he knows what I was saying and he loves the idea as much as I do, "I'll go get the cast cover."

He grabs the cover and pump from my hospital bag and has me sit down with him at the table, letting Dean pick up the cleaning slack. I remove my arm from the sling and Sam slides the cover over my lower arm before applying the pump. After all the air is suctioned out Sam gives my wrist a small pat.

"You're all set."

"Thanks." I point awkwardly to the stairs, "So─"

"Right. Let's go."

I walk off before Sam so he cannot see me curse silently to myself on the way up the stairs. I don't understand how the doctor thinks that smothering me to death is going to help my emotional state. But Sam is just doing what he thinks is best, and I don't want to be mad at him. I wouldn't mind giving the doctor a good punch though.

I walk into my bathroom, Sam right behind me, and look around at everything, the glass, the blood. The last time I was here I was a huge disaster, and all I can hope is that I never go back to that place, ever again. I look up at the broken mirror sadly, looking at my self in the small pieces on the edges, my appearance shocking. My eyes are dark and deeply set in, while my skin is a ghostly pale color with soft beige lips to match.

"Sorry we didn't get that fixed yet. We really never left the hospital."

I turn to Sam and I can see the look on his face, the one he has when he wants to have a big talk. But the thought of it is too much for me to deal with, so I ignore it.

"Can I use your shower?"

"Yeah, of course." He tells me and I quickly walk out of my bathroom and down to Sam and Dean's bathroom. As soon as I enter I walk to the shower and put the hot water on.

"Do you mind turning around?" I ask, not even looking him in the eye.

Sam nods his head and does as he's told, letting me discard all of my clothes before stepping into the steamy hot shower. I put a large amount of shampoo into my palm, washing it through my scalp and letting the excess suds clean my dirty skin. I scrub the soap deep into my body, cleaning away every bit of dirt and sweat. Finally I put in my conditioner, getting my hair nice and silky smooth.

"Maybe you could call Charlie tomorrow. See if she wants to stop by for an hour or something."

Charlie. I haven't even thought about her, which is pretty selfish considering I ruined her party and probably got her in trouble with the cops.

"Maybe." I say quietly, "I don't now if I want to see anyone."

"Why?"

"Because I just want to spend sometime alone." I answer with a small amount of attitude.

"Well Doctor Lee says─"

"I don't care what Doctor Lee said! I don't want to hang out with anyone tomorrow!"

The moment the out burst comes out of my mouth I regret it, tears making their way to my eyes. Leave it to me to go from being too shy to speak all the way to screaming in less than a minute.

I turn off the water, grabbing the large towel from the holder and wrapping it around me securely before stepping out to see a discouraged Sam.

"I didn't mean to yell." I apologize with tears.

"I know."

"I just─" A small sob escapes as my hands begin to shake and I sit down on the bathtub edge, "Nothing feels right. I don't feel like myself at all, and─ I don't know if I ever will."

"It's okay Jenn." A small tear is in his eye and I can hear in his voice as he tries to keep it from falling.

"I really hate this. I hate that I screwed everything up─"

"Hey." Sam stops me strongly, walking forward and sitting next to me on the bathtub, "It is not your fault."

I continue to shake my head, wiping the wet hair off of my face.

"Jenny, he is the one that did this. You had so much to deal with─ you did the best you could."

"No I didn't! I could have talked to someone! Instead I did what I always do; keep it to myself until I can't handle it!"

I finally break off into hysterics until Sam wraps me in his arms, resting his cheek on the top of my head. He roughly massages his fingers through my soaked hair as I grab onto his plaid shirt desperately, needing to feel close to him.

"It's okay, I'm right here." He soothes, "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

When I wake up the next morning it takes me a moment to remember that I am no longer in the hospital, or even in my own bed. I spent my first night home in Sam's bed. It was either I stay in his room where we can both fit on his bed or he sleeps on the hardwood floor in my room. It wasn't really that hard of a decision to make.

I step onto the hardwood floor and walk to the bathroom Sam and Dean share. A few of my things are now located in here until my mirror gets fixed. I brush my teeth and throw my hair up into a ponytail, leaving only a few wasps of my wavy honey hair around my face.

I take in a deep breath before leaving for downstairs. However I barely make it halfway down the hallway when I realize I'm not allowed to go downstairs without Sam or Dean. Silently I curse myself, hating the rules of my new life, but not wanting to get in trouble for breaking them. Talking to myself in my head I pace back and forth, wondering what I should do. Certainly waking Sam or Dean would be rude, but I can't just sit and watch them sleep, can I?

"Are you talking to yourself?"

I lift my head up from my fidgeting hands to see Dean sitting up in his bed, watching me with amusement.

"Oh…a little bit I guess." My feet wonder their way into Dean's room as I talk, "I just have a small dilemma."

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah." I assure him, nodding my head, "It's just that I woke up and wanted to go get some breakfast and watch TV, but…"

I break off ashamed but continue when Dean encourages me.

"But I realized that I can't do it with out you or Sam."

My head hangs embarrassed as I pick at the bottom of my black tee. I hate feeling like a psych ward patient in my own house, and while I may be able to cover my anger for now I can never shield this humiliation.

"Well I was just about to go make myself some breakfast. How does cereal sound?"

I smile instantly, knowing that it is well before Dean's normal wake up time. And he doesn't wake up early for almost anything.

"It sounds great."

I step out into the hallway, thankful that he didn't make me feel like his gesture is out pity at all. He didn't even give me some stupid brooding glance when I brought up my two week surveillance.

Dean walks behind me as I go down the stairs, a small smile on my cheeks. We get into the kitchen and I take a seat at the counter while Dean grabs the bowls, spoons, and milk. Then he goes to the cabinet and grabs my favorite cereal, Life, not even needing to ask if I was in the mood for it.

I pour myself a bowl as he sits down next to me, grabbing the box when I'm finished and making himself a hearty bowl.

"So what are you doing today?" Dean asks, taking a large bite of cereal.

"Umm─" I chuckle, "Nothing much, probably just a fun-filled day of watching television."

"Well if you don't mind I might join you. I feel like having a relaxing day."

"Well either you or Sam would have to anyway, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest." I say quietly, trying to add a joking smile at the end, but anyone can see that I don't find it too hilarious.

"The two weeks will be over before you know it kiddo. Don't worry about it."

I take a big bite of my breakfast and nod my head, knowing he is just trying to cheer me up.

"So, Uh─" Dean stumbles.

We take turns looking at each other, neither of us really knowing what to say. The silence was miserable, but I'm but I'm not positive talking will be any better.

"This is pretty awkward, isn't it?"

"A little." Dean tries to smirk.

"I'm sorry about that." I look down at my food feeling guilty before I get the guts to speak again, "Do you think maybe we could just act like the past few months never happened? Like everything is normal?"

"It sounds good, _but_" Dean stresses, "I think almost every single therapist in the world would say it's an awful idea."

"It would be nice if we could though." I sigh, "Erase everything. You could erase that waitress in Tampa."

"Oh man that rash was a bitch!" Dean says, and I can't help but laugh at his silly misery.

"See, it would be perfect!" I smile and get in the joking mood, "And then I could erase Ethan, and getting gonorrhea, and getting ra─"

The word dies on my lips, and my face turns painfully sad. I feel like a jagged knife is deep into my stomach. Was I just really going to turn that into some silly joke? A way to break the ice?

"Wow. Uh─"

I look up at Dean who hates the word coming up as much as I do.

"I hate this." I shake my head with tears in my eyes, "I really hate this."

"I know Jenny." Dean eases, running a tender hand over my hair.

"You know, I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life. But at least I made the mistake, I screwed everything up. But this time I didn't to it, I couldn't control it. I couldn't control any of it. I couldn't even─ I couldn't─"

My voice breaks off into a sob and Dean just gets off of his chair and takes me into his arms. He rubs his hand in circles between my shoulder blades, lulling my heaves to heavy breaths as I cry, tears burning my dry lips as they meet.

* * *

Later that night I sit on the couch with Sam next to me and Dean sleeping on the reclining chair. My eyes are close to shut when something new starts on TV, an episode of the Office. Immediately I perk up and pay attention to the show.

"Not so tired anymore?" Sam asks with a grin next to me.

"What can I say? It's a sickness."

We both chuckle, which only gets worse when Dwight says one of his classic lines that any fan of the show would recognize.

"_I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted! No─ I didn't mean that. He'd probably just end up being a hero anyway."_

"Oh my god!" I laugh at Sam's spot on impression. He can make fun of me all he wants, but I know he likes it just as much as I do.

"This really is the best show."

"I agree," Sam says, "But maybe not in the crazed fan way that you love it."

"Well what can I say? It has that effect on me."

He chuckles and without a thought I snuggle into his side and he puts his arms around my shoulder, resting back on the couch.

"I'm glad to be home." I smile, tightening my grip and taking in the smell of Sam's cologne.

"Well I'm glad your home. If anything ever happened to you─"

Sam breaks off and shakes his head, not liking even thinking about what he was speaking of. I personally don't like thinking about it either, being without Sam or Dean. Looking up at Sam it takes everything in me not to cry as he looks down at me with pure love, like the idea of being away from me might literally kill him.

"Well you'll never have to worry about anything happening to me. Cause I─ I made a mistake before. But it made me realize that what I have here─ with you and Dean─ I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I was stupid for almost giving it up."

I take a deep breath after I finish and smile at him, emotions making it difficult. I have so many feelings running through me, and when I look up at Sam I can see that it is no different for him. But I don't want to cry, not again. And Sam must be able to tell because he simply gives me a kiss on the forehead and returns to our previous position, lying back on the couch with his arm over my shoulder and my head lying on his chest.

Maybe everything won't have to be erased or ignored. Maybe we will just be okay. Maybe we will just be a family.

* * *

**Hope you all liked it! **


	36. Awake My Soul

**Awake My Soul**

"Thanks for taking me out Charlie." I look over at my best friend as the car pulls into my driveway. Sam and Dean let me get out of the house finally, even though my two week supervision isn't up yet. But I only have two days left and they trust Charlie.

"Hey, I'm just glad to see you. I wish that it could have been for longer than an hour though."

_They are still crazy protective, _I think with a smirk.

"I know. But Sam says that as soon as the two weeks are over you can come over for a sleepover."

Charlie gets excited immediately, "I can't wait! I'm gonna start planning tonight."

I chuckle at my overly giddy best friend. I wanted to treat her to lunch today, a way to apologize for what a mess I caused at her party. But Charlie, being the amazing girl that she is, refused to let me. She told me all she cared about was that I'm okay, something that made me begin to tear up immediately. She did however make me promise to never hide anything that serious from her again, much like Sam and Dean. And of course I complied with her.

"So have you thought about when you're going to go back to school?"

Honestly I have thought about it, and my face conveys that it wasn't a pleasant thought. Sam and Dean tried to bring up the subject after my first tutoring session with Anne, but I told both of them that I'm not ready to even talk about it yet. And of course they didn't want to do anything to stress me out, so they dropped the subject.

"Uhhh─ Honestly, I don't know if I'm going back."

"What? Why?"

I sigh loudly, ready to get all of my distain for that place out at once in a stressed but even tone.

"Everyone knows Charlie. They know what I did, and they all probably think that I am some suicidal freak. I can't go back and face them."

I can see her entering caring friend mode as she begins to speak, "Jenny, I get that it's scary, but you can't let some dumb teenagers stop you from anything. And you know that if any of those bitches are dumb enough to say anything to you that I'll be there. I've always got your back Bean. Always."

I shake my head with a small smirk, loving that my I have a best friend that is willing to take out a cafeteria full of jocks for me.

"So just promise that you won't give up, because if you do I'm going to have no one to be miserable with." She adds the last part with a laugh and I quickly wrap my arms around her, squeezing tight.

"I promise."

"Good!" Charlie says as we release from the hug, "Now go inside before your brothers come out to kill me for not bringing you back in time."

"Bye Char. Thanks for everything."

I wave goodbye as Charlie pulls out of the driveway before I turn around and head into the house, and to no surprise I find Sam and Dean waiting impatiently in the kitchen. They look nervous as hell while taking sips of their beer occasionally for comfort.

"You guys can calm down. I made it back in one piece."

They look up at me and let out sigh of relief in sync with each other. Seriously? These boys take protective to a whole new level. However in this case I find it a bit funny.

"So are you gonna let go of that vice on your drink there Deano?"

They both just stare at me, not exactly mad, but not happy either.

"What is it? I'm back on time, right?"

"Oh uh─ yeah." Sam tries to smile, "Sorry, it was just─"

I catch the drift from his and Dean's worked up faces and let out a sigh, a little bit angrily, "You were just afraid that I was going to off myself in the middle of the day."

"What? That's not it, we just…"

"You guys," I interrupt Sam with a bit of irritation behind my voice as I stand tall with my arms crossed, "I get that it is hard for you to trust me, but how am I going to learn to ride again if you guys never take off the training wheels?" As their faces soften I remove the edge from my voice and give them the small reassurance of a smile, "I'm not saying let me run wild, just give me a little trust. I promise I won't let you down again."

Sam and Dean glance at each other for a second before turning back to me, nodding there heads slowly before Dean responds, "Yeah Jenn, We know you won't."

A smile immediately overtakes my soft features, "Good…" I think of giving them a hug, but decide that I really just want to let the topic pass, "So Anne is coming in a few hours for tutoring. She said she wants to take me to the library to help me pick out a book for an English book report, as long as it's okay with you guys."

"Yea, of course." Sam nods, "What kind of book does it have to be?"

"Anne says that as long as it's a novel and school appropriate that it doesn't matter."

Dean bites his lip with a little smirk as he looks off daydreaming, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's on his mind.

"Dean! Stop thinking of Anne like that! It's creepy!" I tell him sternly.

In return I just get an innocent look, "What? Is it my fault that you have a good looking tutor?"

"Ughh. You better not embarrass me today." I warn before walking out of the kitchen and into the living room to watch some TV.

"Oh this looks interesting." I say, picking out a slightly heavy novel from the library bookshelf.

I run my hands over the hard cover as I read the back summary. It seems simple yet interesting enough so I take it back to the table where Anne is sitting and grading a few of the worksheets I finished today.

"I found one."

"Great." She smirks, "Well why don't we check that out and get you home."

"I'm done for today?" I ask hopefully.

"Yep. You did great on all of your assignments so we're all set." She says as she puts all of her folders and books into her messenger bag.

We check out the book and get into her car, heading in the direction of home. On the way we pass an ice cream stand and Anne insists on stopping and getting a treat, which I really appreciate considering the hot and sunny weather.

Once Anne drops me off at the house I run inside with my book in one hand and my vanilla ice cream cone in the other, licking a melted drop off of the cone before it falls onto the floor.

"You guys!" I yell as I close the door, "I'm home!"

"In here!" I run into the living room to find Sam and Dean with papers all over the coffee table and Sam with his laptop in his lap.

My smile fades as I realize what this means, there is a hunt. In other words I am going to be left alone, which at this point in time is something I desperately don't want. I am still trying to get my feet back on the ground. Finally I have gotten to a point where I am fully comfortable around Sam and Dean again and not having nightmares every single night. And all of this is because I've had them here with me, giving me support in everyway I need, and I do still need it. They cannot leave me just as I am starting to do well!

"A hunt? You guys can't leave me here! That isn't fair plu─"

"Jenny!" Dean quiets me, "We aren't going on a hunt. We are just trying to help out some friends."

I lose my strong stance and feel slightly, no completely, foolish. Of course I just try and laugh it off, "Oh, right. My bad."

Sam can't help but smile a bit and holds up a folder to me, "Wanna help?"

"You know it! I haven't done something supernatural related in weeks. I'm starting to get rusty."

I grab the folder and sit down on the floor, Indian style with my ice cream still in my hand.

"Hey! Where did you get that?" Dean asks, envious of my treat.

"Anne bought it for me on the way home." I smirk.

"Well that was nice of her." Sam says, "I take it you two get along."

"Oh yeah. She is so nice, and somehow doesn't make learning as miserable as my regular teachers."

Dean nods his head suggestively, "You should ask her to hangout sometime. Maybe you could become friends."

I think over the suggestion for a moment before realizing who it is coming from, the man that takes his hunting of woman almost as seriously as his hunting of ghosts.

"Dean!"

"What?"

"I am not becoming friends with her so you can see more of her! And you know she's only 21? She's like six years younger than you! That would be like me dating── Sam!" I make my point before I think about what I just said and cringe at the thought.

"Can we talk about something else please?" Sam asks with the same lemon sour look.

Dean laughs at our awkward moment before shaking his head at me, "You can't tell me who I can or can't date. So why don't you just except the fact that Anne is a big girl, and if she wants to date me then─"

"Then," I start with I smirk, "I'll just have to tell her that you have herpes."

"Jenn!" Sam stops me, not spitting angry, but not wanting the fighting to continue, "I know you don't want Dean to date her, but you can't stop him. He is a grown man and can date who he wants."

Dean just looks at me with a winning smirk, making me a tad irked. But as my jaw clenches I can see Sam's stern glance towards me heighten, causing me to relax and place a forced look of acceptance on my face.

"Fine, but I don't like it."

"Trust me, I know." Dean nods.

"Now," Sam tries to move us on from the subject, "Why don't you put on that CD you've been listening to all week?"

As much as I want to fight it I can't help but give in to Sam's successful attempt to brighten me up and make me forget about any anger I bore towards Dean. Sam knows that if there is one thing I love as much as or even more than television and movies, its music. I love playing it, singing it, and listening to it.

We listen to the CD as we do some research; turning on the radio after it has played through twice. I get the fun task of reading old obituaries and looking at crime scene photos, trying to find a sign of who this spirit is. Finally after a few hours I order Chinese for us all and we still have our faces in our computers as the food comes.

"Thanks." I smile as I give the delivery boy the money, which includes a pretty generous tip if I do say so myself.

I grab a few forks from the kitchen and two beers and a soda from the refrigerator before making my way to the living room, plopping the large bag of food on the coffee table and handing out the silverware and drinks before grabbing the container of sweet and sour chicken for myself.

"Can I take a break while we eat? Seriously, my eyes are hurting."

"Jenn, if you don't want to do research you don't have to." Sam tells me, but I quickly correct him.

"Oh I want to help. I just need a break." I smile, closing my laptop and putting it on the coffee table.

My hips shake almost unnoticeably to the music as I walk to the radio, turning up the volume, the swaying of my hips growing along with the sound. Sam just rolls his eyes and chuckles as I move my toes lightly across the hardwood floor, enjoying my chicken out of the container as I dance. I make my way over to my chair and sit down across from where Sam and Dean are sitting on the couch and still doing research as they eat. I just continue to bop my head to the songs coming through the radio, all belonging to some form of rock genre, while I shove the tasty diner in my mouth.

"That was delicious." I sigh, placing the food on the side table and resting my hand on my stomach, "But I think I might explode."

"Then maybe you shouldn't eat so much next time, fatty."

"Shut up! You're just jealous cus' I'm in better shape than you." I tell Dean.

Was that statement correct? Probably not. Because Dean looks like he works out all day, while I on the other hand look like I am purely skin and bones. However my break from hunting has been generous in giving me some nice curves, which I personally like.

"You wish you looked as good as me." Dean smirks, just causing me to roll my eyes.

"Jenn," Sam breaks up the conversation as he looks up from his laptop, "Can you go get me the number by the phone? I think I may have just found our guy."

My face turns cheerful as I stand up and walk to the kitchen, looking around the table the phone is on, shuffling through pieces of paper. The pad of post-its stands out, a number printed in maker covering it. I pull it off of the table and bring it with me into the living room.

"Is this the number?" I ask on my toes, ready to turn back if it's wrong.

"Yeah, that's it. Thanks Jenny." Sam tells me, taking the paper from my hands.

I turn to grab a fortune cookie out of the paper bag, but suddenly my stomach drops before my brain even has time to catch up with why I am having this reaction. I can hear the music from the radio and it is playing a different song from when I left, a song I was hoping to never hear again, a song that holds so much pain and fear that I can feel the hairs rise on my neck.

_**You let me violate you  
You let me desecrate you  
You let me penetrate you  
You let me complicate you**_

As I stand frozen my stomach begins to convulse, followed by my chest as I have trouble getting air to my lungs. All I can feel is the fear I felt as I saw him over me, unable to move my own body, unable to scream. I try to control my breathing, placing my hand to my rapidly trembling stomach as it rises and falls in jagged timing.

"Jenny?" I hear Sam question loudly, and I look up to see him staring at me worriedly, appearing to be a second away from coming to my side.

I look at him, trying to speak, but I can just hear the music pounding in my ears as I begin to shake my head, tears starting to fall down my eyes as I pull on the neck of my shirt roughly. I want to scream, making a face that appears to be a grimace as I grasp my chest, angry tears falling down my red and burning cheeks. As I get to the point that I am gasping for breath I turn around and run from my position by the couch.

"Jenn!" Dean yells roughly, watching as I run with unsteady legs to the stereo and hit it frantically, not able to find the right button.

"Jenny!"

"_TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" _I scream through my gasps for breath, continuing to beat the machine as Sam tries to grab my hands, "_STOP!"_

"Jenny! What are you doing? What's wrong?" Sam yells, finally grabbing my hands and pulling me to face him as Dean hastily turns off the radio.

As the music stops my heart rate begins to slow, making my eyes dart around as I try to piece together what just happened. I stop fighting Sam's grip and he soothingly cups my face in his hands, looking me in the eyes.

"Are you okay now?"

"I─I─"

My stomach begins to calm so quickly that I feel it turn on me, and I fall to my knees as I vomit onto the floor. My mind is filled with too much confusion over what is happening to freak out and run to the bathroom. I just continue to let my stomach empty itself onto the floor. That is until Dean puts a small trash basket in front of me, placing one hand on my arm comfortingly. Sam stands behind me, pulling my hair out of my face and using his free hand to cradle my forehead. And when I am done I try to stand up, not making it too far before Sam and Dean help me.

"I'll clean up. You get her on the couch." Dean says out of breath and stressed.

Sam nods, leading me to the cushy coach. He places me down and sits next to me rubbing a gentle hand over my back and placing his other hand on my knee as Dean cleans my vomit off of the floor.

"Here," Dean says, walking over with a glass of water after he has cleaned up, "drink this."

I take the water in my hands and take a few small sips before lowering the cup, letting Sam take it from me and place it on the table.

"So Jenn," Sam says gently as Dean sits on the table in front of me, "You want to tell us what happened?"

I look up at them, still fighting about weather I should explain to them what was going through my head as I almost totaled the stereo. My first instinct is to lie, but before I can open my lips and make up some story I remember something, the last time I did this. And I remember how it ended, me in the hospital with broken bones and a pumped stomach. So with dry and swollen eyes I raise my head and take a deep breath before beginning.

"That song, it was─ it was playing when─" It takes me a moment to continue, but Sam and Dean don't push me, they just give me reassuring glances and wait patiently for me to proceed, "It is one of the only things I can remember from that night, the night that he…"

I don't have to say anymore because their faces drop, letting me know that they know the rest of my sentence, "Jenny..." Sam sighs, making a sympathetic face that makes the tears start to flow again.

"I really thought that I was doing okay. But when I heard the song─ I just freaked."

Dean places a hand on my knee as my voice hitches and I begin to heave with sobs, "Hey, It's okay Jenn."

"No it's not! It is not okay!" I cry, shaking my head angrily and making the boys jump back in their seats, "I should be strong! I have to be strong!"

"Hey…" Sam soothes as he comes closer on the couch and takes me in his arms tightly, letting me cry onto his chest as I am sure he and Dean share a worried look over my head, "Being upset doesn't make you weak Jenn. It just makes you human."

I pick my head up from his chest, wiping away my tears as I speak urgently, "I just don't want to think about it anymore. I feel like anytime I start to feel happy or like my life has just a spot of normalcy someone that something has to remind me about what happened."

"Well people just want you to deal with what happened." Dean tells me.

My runny nose makes another sniffling noise as I continue to wipe tears from my eyes, shaking my head in complete and utter confusion as Sam sits back to give me room. I feel like my head is filled with emotions and I can't seem to get them all out the way I want, some of them I can't even make sense of.

"I─I'm really sorry." I mumble out, my body relaxes and feel my stomach begin to fight me, "I don't feel very good. Can you just take me to bed?"

"Is it your stomach again?" Dean asks as Sam places a hand to my clammy forehead.

I just nod my head lightly, feeling a bit dizzy as the nauseous feeling finds me again. My face frowns sourly as I place my hand to my mouth, more of a precaution than anything, although it gets the boys on alert.

"Do you feel like your gonna vomit?" Dean asks, holding my shoulders gently.

But before I can answer his question the bile rises in my throat and leaves my mouth, breaking through the barrier of my hand and getting all over the right leg of Dean's pants. For a moment all I can think of is the aching in my stomach and the disgusting taste, but once I look up and see what I did I feel even worse. Dean just has his mouth wide open, staring down at the mess I made on his jeans.

I want to apologize, tell him I didn't mean to, but for some reason the only thing I can get out of my mouth is a cry. Tears are suddenly streaming down my face as I put my hand to my mouth, wiping away the vomit left on my mouth.

"Hey. Hey. It's okay." Sam quiets me, lifting me into his arms like a small child, "Come on, let's get you up to bed."

I nod my head through my tears as Sam lifts me off of the couch, "Dean, go clean up while I take her upstairs."

Sam takes me out of the living room and brings me up to his room, laying me onto the bed. By now my sobs have been downgraded to tears and my face is distressed as the sour feeling in my stomach continues. I didn't even notice Sam left when he comes into the bedroom with a washcloth.

"Here you go." He says, sitting at the edge of the bed and wiping my head strongly with the wet cloth, "Do you think you're going to vomit again?"

My shoulders shrug as he runs his hands through my wavy hair and nods his head acceptingly.

I look up at Sam fearfully, "Do you think Dean is mad at me?"

"Of course not."

"I swear I didn't mean to."

Sam gives me a funny look before answering, "He knows that Jenny."

"I just don't want him to be mad at me. Can you make sure he's not mad at me?"

Sam places a tender arm on my shoulder to calm me down as I get worked up, "Jenny, I promise he isn't mad."

After holding his assuring glance with my uneasy one for a few seconds, I settle back into the bed.

"Why don't you just get some sleep?" Sam tells me, giving me a kiss on the forehead and securing a soft blanket around me, "You'll probably feel better when you wake up."

"I hope so." I mutter too quiet for Sam to hear as he stands up from the bed, "Wait!"

Sam turns around as I look up at him pleadingly, "Can you stay with me, just until I fall asleep."

Sam's glance turns from questioning to sweet in a moment, walking over towards the bed and lying down next to me as I make room. He sits against the backboard and grabs the remote, letting me pick what we watch as I fall asleep with my head resting against his thigh.

* * *

The next morning I sit downstairs and have some toast with strawberry jelly as I remember everything that I did last night, more like regret everything I did last night. I just really don't want this to turn into some huge thing for Sam and Dean, because I honestly feel like I am doing okay. Sure, last night wasn't a shining moment for me, but in my opinion I should be allowed one freak out.

I wonder which of the brothers I am going to have to face first, but to my surprise they both come down together, stress etched all over their face, and from the bags under they're eyes I am guessing they haven't slept too great.

"Morning." I say happily, but not so happy that it seems like its fake.

"Hey."

Sam comes over, placing a hand on my head as he checks me over while Dean grabs a slice of cold pizza from the fridge. I just continue my reassuring smile as I remove my head from his grasp.

"You feeling better?" Sam asks, motioning to my toast.

"Yep." I take another bite.

"Good." Dean smirks, "Because I really like my clothes today."

I roll my eyes, but underneath I actually feel truly terrible, even though deep down I know Dean isn't mad at me I can't get rid of the feeling that I am a burden. My face must turn pale because Sam runs a hand over my cheek reassuringly.

"Hey. It's okay Jenn. We know that you didn't mean to." I look to Dean and get the smile of conformation from him, "But do you want to talk about what happened last night?"

"Not really."

"Jenn─"

"You guys know what happened, why I freaked. So why do I need to pour my feelings out to you on the kitchen table?"

"Because you'll feel better." Sam pushes.

I give a bitter laugh, not sure if I believe that statement, but after a jagged breath in I begin with anger and resentment from, in my opinion, being forced to talk about it, "Fine! You want to know why I flipped? The song came on and all that was going through my mind was what he did to me. Seeing him on top of me, the sounds he made, _and me not being able to do anything about it!_" I scream as I stand up from my chair at the counter with tears in my eyes, "Are you happy now? Now you know _everything_!"

With only one more look of anger and disgust I turn to leave the room, but I hear Sam's voice yelling strongly, "Jenny!", and I turn back around to him and Dean begrudgingly. "I know that you're upset. And you have every right to be. But Dean and I─ we just want to help you. So just let us help."

Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to turn around, avoid what is clearly going to be a very emotional and girly 'chick flick' moment. And for a moment I begin to pivot my feet away from Sam and Dean, ready to head for the stairs, but something inside persuades me to stand strong as I look at the brothers, tears gracing my eyes.

"I─ I─" Finally I let the tears fall as I shake my head, "I don't want to cry anymore. I am so sick of him making me cry. I don't want to let him win."

I understand the irony of crying about crying too much, but the emotions are just too powerful for me to stop myself, "I want to be strong. I am trying to be, so please don't make me cry about it."

They both feel for me as they hear my begging tone, fighting the sobs escaping my mouth. But as I wipe the tears away and beg them with a strong stance to get my way, I feel like a rush of relief comes over me as they nod in agreement.

"It's okay." Sam says, "But you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Don't ignore this. If you can't talk about it with us, that's fine. But you need to talk to somebody about it; Charlie, Dr. Lee, Anne ─ someone." He tells me in a way that I know it means a lot to him, "Can you promise me that?"

Honestly, I want to say no. I'm not even sure if it is because I really don't want to or because I want to be difficult. In fear of it being the latter I nod my head assuring him.

"Yeah. I promise."

A very small smile comes to Sam's lips, but he knows that I don't want to get emotional so he moves on quickly, "How about a nice breakfast? You want to make pancakes Dean?"

"Only if Jenny promises to not upchuck it all over my clothes after."

"Shut up." I respond with the same joking tone he spoke with as I wipe the remaining tears from my cheeks.

He just smirks as he goes into the cabinet and gets the pancake mix, asking me to help him make eggs. I whisk away at the eggs while Sam makes bacon and Dean takes care of the pancakes. And then we enjoy a nice breakfast together, filled with sarcasm and mouths full of food.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow. I'm not sure, but this may be my longest chapter ever! Reviews for long chapter? lol :p


	37. Miss Nothing

**Miss Nothing**

"Do I have to stay in the room?" I ask, a frown on my face as Dean and Sam get ready to leave the motel, "I promise I can hunt!"

"We're sure you can Jenn." Dean tells me.

"But we want you to rest for a bit longer and then work up your skills before you start again." Sam tells me, "Trust us Jenn, you can get rusty real quick."

"Whatever…" I sigh, flopping back onto the bed with Charlie's dog Winnie next to me, instantly curling up by my leg. I promised her I would watch him while she went to visit her dad, and when I found out about the hunt I was actually happy to have some company in the boring hotel.

"Call us if you need anything." Sam says, grabbing his coat off of the bed and giving me a kiss on the head.

"Yep…"

Sam and Dean leave the ramshackle motel room and it takes me a grand total of two hours before I begin getting stir crazy. Doesn't sound like too long, but when the stupid motel has no cable it feels like weeks. After attempting to create a game about the number of prostitutes I see walking by our window I get desperate enough to take Winnie outside for a walk. I'm not sure how happy Sam and Dean would feel about it, but what they don't know won't hurt them.

Winnie and I run for about two miles when we come to a park that we stop at, using an old dead tree branch to play fetch. She runs all over with a big fat puppy smile on her face. You can sense her excitement as she prances around the grassy field, sometimes mingling with the curious children.

I can see the sun start to go down so Winnie and I begin to jog back to our motel room. We're about a half a mile from our motel when Winnie pauses, the hair on her back instantly rising.

"What is it girl?" I look around at our surroundings, not seeing any people around us on the mostly abandon street.

She just keeps looking around like she knows something is approaching, but she can't place from where which makes me nervous. Slowly and carefully I kneel down and gently place my fingertips on the bulge of the knife inside my right sock that Dean insists I always have with me, even in school. I hear something in the air, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. But before I can reach my hands under the soft fabric of my sock a force pushes me back strongly, something stinging my mouth and nose as I lie on the cracked cement, barely able to breath as the disturbance forces it's way into my body.

Once it finally stops I am in so much pain that I can't even think of moving, but before I know what is happening my body stands up, brushing the dirt off of my clothes and straightening my hair.

"This is gonna be fun."

_Shit! _I just said that! My mouth, my voice, my smirk. But I had no control, and I still don't as my body walks down the sidewalk, having to pick up Winnie because the pup senses something is wrong.

I try and move my body madly, but no matter how strong I push and scream nothing on my body is affected in the slightest, but finally I do get some reaction, but not a good one.

"_Listen brat. Don't make this difficult for me. Just sit there and shut up and I won't slit your throat while Sammy and Dean watch."_

In an instant I know what the voice is, any hunter would. It's a demon.

Sam and Dean have made me very familiar with all the signs of demonic possession and the force that knocked me down and burned my throat was the demon entering me, like Dean had explained during many of my hunting lessons. Of course I never thought in a million years that it would happen to me.

"_Why are you doing this to me?" _I ask the demon.

"_I have no choice sweetheart. It's called revenge."_

I just want to cry, but when I begin the demon just smiles, which makes the sobs come even harder while I never shed a single tear.

"_Now as much as I love this cute teenage vintage rocker thing you've got going on, I think we need to go just a bit grungier."_

Five hours later we head back towards the motel, me, Winnie and this bitch inside me. I hated her the moment she entered my body, but then she decided she had to fuck up my hair, and that was when I vowed to send her back to hell. My previously wavy honey blonde hair that came down past my collarbone is now bleach blonde and reaches much farther down my back. And apparently the hair wasn't enough because then she got enough dark makeup to make me look like a hooker, dark black eyes and blood red lips. But the worst part has to be the clothes, a short black dress and black fishnet stockings, combat boots and a leather jacket. The dress is so tight that my chest is popping out of it and it barely covers my ass.

As we get within seeing distance of the motel the Demon takes out a bottle of vodka that she, or I, stole and opens it, making me take a large gulp and burning my throat. But after that gulp she just holds the bottle out to my side and turns it forwards, letting about half of the vodka pour onto the sidewalk.

I just watch on with dread as she then makes us continue towards the motel and come up to the motel door, bottle still in hand and forcing a dazed look in my eyes before she opens up the motel room, stumbling in convincingly.

Sam and Dean shoot up at the disturbance, pulling their guns on me as they don't recognize my changed appearance. I want to scream out to them, shout that I need help, but I know it will just make the Demon even angrier and irrational.

"You wanna put down the guns?" I hear my voice laugh as the demon lets go of Winnie's leash and she makes a run for the bathroom.

"JENNY?" Sam and Dean yell, making the demon only laugh louder.

"In the flesh."

"What the hell did you do to yourself?" Sam yells.

He stares with wild eyes at the attire I have on as the Demon shrugs off the leather jacket, revealing just how low cut the dress really is, enough to let my lacy pink bra show.

"It's called a change. I was sick of looking like a school girl."

"So you'd rather look like a whore?" Dean asks, causing me to chuckle from inside, I couldn't have said it better myself.

"Hey, If they pay well…" The demon says before lifting up the bottle and taking a sip.

"_Seriously? Again? You may not be able to get drunk, but I sure can!" _

But the demon just ignores me, getting excited as Sam and Dean stare at the glass bottle in my hands once she swipes my lips clean.

"Oh, do you want some?" The demon offers with an innocent look, holding out the bottle for the brothers.

Dean just grabs the bottle hastily, his jaw clench so hard he can't even scream at me, but Sam sure can.

"What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Uhhh…fun?"

Sam steps in, "God Jenny! I knew we shouldn't have left! You obviously aren't ready for this!"

I'm not going to lie, even with all of the commotion Sam's words still manage to hurt me. How much do I have to prove to him that I'm ready? Whatever. So not the time for this.

"Oh, cus I'm so fragile?"

I cringe as the Demon brings up my real emotions. I know quickly that this is going to get ugly.

Dean steps in to help his brother, "Well you obviously can't deal because you went out, got drunk, and somehow convinced yourself that you should enter a Courtney Love look-a-like contest."

"Did you ever think that I just wanted to get away from you guys? Maybe I'm sick of being treated like a porcelain doll!" The demon screams, throwing a lamp from the side table and letting it smash against the old panel wall.

I just watch as Sam and Dean stare on with their eyes wide open before a scoff escapes my mouth, "Whatever, I'm going to bed. Wake me up if you need to yell at me again."

With that the demon removes the thick boots from my feet and takes off the fishnets, changing into black leggings and a wife beater found in my bag without even bothering to go into the bathroom for privacy. As Dean and Sam share looks filled with anger and confusion, my body jumps into the bed farthest from the door. I want to stay awake, but as the Demon closes my eyes and it stays quite for a while I can't help but let my tiredness get the best of me.

* * *

I feel my body being dragged up from the bed as I am woken up from my less than peaceful nap. I don't know what time it is, but it must be late because Sam and Dean are both asleep in their beds. As the tiredness begins to leave my body I become worried, why is the demon getting up right now?

"_What are you doing?"_

"Oh you'll see."

My body bends down, reaching my hand into one of Sam and Dean's weapon bags. My heart drops as my hand comes back out with knife and the demon uses my eyes to linger over the sharp object.

"_You don't do anything! I swear to god I'll─"_

"You'll what?" She taunts, "You can't do anything, remember?"

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry everyone for the wait. I've been suffering from writer's block. So if you have any helpful tips please please please let me know. But luckily I have the next chapter almost done, so it will be up in the beginning of next week. And thank you for every review and story alert. They kept me motivated to write this no matter how hard it was. Let me know what you think and if you have any magical cures for writer's block. Love you all!**

**-Marebear (What all my high school friends call me. lol.)**

**P.S. All of you who have seen my video for this fanfic know that I used Taylor Momsen as my insperation for Jenny. But as she has grown more...different...I really havent used her image. But for demon Jen she is perfect. So for the title of this chapter I used the song from her band "The Pretty Reckless" as the title and I really do love this song. I may find taylor a bit weird now but her band is amazing. Great music.  
****I'm done now. lol. Love you all! Hope you liked the chapter.**


	38. Bring On The Wonder

**Bring On The Wonder**

I feel my body being dragged up from the bed as I am woken up from my less than peaceful nap. I don't know what time it is, but it must be late because Sam and Dean are both asleep in their beds. As the tiredness begins to leave my body I become worried, why is the demon getting up right now?

"_What are you doing?"_

"Oh you'll see."

My body bends down, reaching my hand into one of Sam and Dean's weapon bags. My heart drops as my hand comes back out with knife and the demon uses my eyes to linger over the sharp object.

"_You don't do anything! I swear to god I'll─"_

"You'll what?" She taunts, "You can't do anything, remember?"

I let out a shaky breath of pure rage as my body strides slowly over to the side of a bed, it takes me a moment to compose myself and realize that it's Dean's bed. I scream inside at the demon as it climbs on the bed, straddling the Winchester without putting any weight on him. The knife makes its way up to his neck as my other hand holds onto his shoulder softly. But with one motion all of my weight is pressed on him. Inside I let out a scream as the blade grazes his neck, making a small slice from first impact.

"Wha─!"

"Shhh…" The demon moves my hand from his shoulder to his mouth and speaks deathly, "You aren't going to speak, understood?"

Dean just nods his head, looking up at me with eyes that make me cry out in pain. I can see him thinking that I am doing this to him, someone that I love more than almost anything. I need to stop this! There has to be something I can do!

The demon removes my hand from his mouth and moves it back to his shoulder, pushing him roughly into the bed. I cringe disgustedly as the demon slightly grinds my pelvis into his hips with a smirk on my face. But slowly as my hips lean into him I can see a look of realization come over Dean's face to replace his previous disgust, and I can feel my relief almost instantly.

"You're not Jenny are you?"

The demon just giggles, "You catch on quick."

Immediately Dean is filled with rage, fighting back against the demon's grip, "I swear to god if you hurt her─"

"Oh don't worry. It'll be over before she can even scream…that is if she could scream."

"You bitch!"

With a good punch Dean sends my body flying back off the bed. Pain radiates through my jaw and a searing pain comes from my leg as I land on Meg's knife.

"Dean?" Sam asks, jumping up from his bed and turning on a light as Dean advances on me.

"It's not her Sam! It's a demon!" He yells.

Dean gets close enough to grab me when my arm flies up and Dean is flung across the room and into a wall. That and the look of horror and confusion on Sam's face makes me flail against my demonic barrier, crying out to let me free. But the demon just tells me to quiet down and gives Sam and eerily innocent glance as my body stands.

"What's wrong Sammy? Are you mad at me?"

Sam just shakes his head, "You're not Jenny."

"You got me there Winchester. But don't doubt for a second that she can't hear, see, and feel everything going on."

"Get the fuck out of her!" Dean screams, struggling to get off the wall.

"Oh Dean… I miss you the most."

Miss him? How the fuck does she know him? And I can tell that I'm not the only one thinking this as Sam and Dean look at each other questioningly.

"Who are you?"

"Well let me refresh your memory…" She walks up to Sam, running my hand over his cheek kindly, making him flinch back away from me, "You two chuckleheads sent me to hell, but not before being kind enough to have me thrown off a building."

"Meg…" We all say in sync, my voice not audible.

"In the flesh…Jenny's flesh that is."

"You bitch!" Sam advances, causing my arm to go up once again, sending Sam into the wall next to Dean.

"_STOP IT!" _I scream. I have always hated Meg, even before I knew she was demonic. But now this bitch is going down

Sam shouts, "Why Jenny? What do you want with her?"

"Honestly," Meg paces the floor in lecture, "Just a little fun. You boys gave me a lot of hell, literally."

"Yeah, Sorry about that." Dean smirks.

"But payback is a bitch. And I thought, 'why not bring in the little brat for the fun?' Because lets face it, she is one of your biggest weaknesses, your Achilles tendon. And you're hers too. So when she slices your pretty little faces off she'll never forgive herself."

If I had control of my body it would be heaving in sobs. I can't let this happen, I have to fight it, somehow. So I take all of my rage, all of my fury and wrath, and scream, thrashing against Meg.

"Quit it kid." Meg bites out loud with a twitch, causing Sam and Dean to look at each other curiously, but it just encourages me to keep fighting.

Meg finally starts to feel something. I can't gain control of my body, but I can feel her power over me weaken. My body is hunched over while Meg tries to fend me off. And I take away just enough strength from her to let Sam and Dean fall to the ground, gasping for breath.

Dean doesn't waste much time before grabbing the salt canister from beside the door and grasping me by the mouth, forcing my head back. He pours the salt into my mouth which makes it sting like a bitch, especially when I feel Meg quickly leave my body. My mouth is open as the black smoke shoots out of my mouth and escapes up through the ceiling vent.

For the first time in a while I get control of my body and it drops like a watermelon from the top of a building. My body feels sore and my head is on fire, feeling like my brain is bouncing around in my skull.

"Woah!" Dean wraps his arms around me as I hit the ground and I try to grasp his shirt with my hands, "I got you."

"Meg─"

"I know Jenn, she's gone. Let's get you up now." Dean says, securing his arms around my waist and lifting me up. He lets me use my feet as much as I can, leaving him to practically drag me over to his bed. Once he sets me on the bed he begins to check me over, spitting out questions about how I'm feeling, but I just look around him to see Sam standing up from the ground and rubbing the back of his head.

"Sammy, are you okay?" I question worried.

"Just a bump." He mumbles, sitting down next to me with a hand on my back, "Let Dean check you out, okay? Because if you got hurt while the demon was in you─"

"I didn't." I assure them both quickly, "I'm fine. Promise."

I rest my head against Sam's shoulder tiredly and I slowly stretch out my arm, smiling as my body actually listens to my commands. In my amazement it takes me a few moments before I notice Sam and Dean's stares, concern still on their faces.

"You guys I'm really fine. I swear. I'll tell you all about what happened tomorrow, but I really just need some sleep. It's hard to get good sleep with you've got some bitch bleaching your hair and trying to slit your family's throat."

Dean nods, smirking when he realizes I called him family, "Sleep up." He tells me, grabbing me by the waist and helping me lie down on the bed while Sam stands up and fixes the blankets.

"Wait!"

My urgency causes Sam to stop immediately and Dean's grip on my waist to tighten as I grasp his forearms.

"This is your bed. You need to move me over." I say to Dean like it is a pressing matter, causing Sam and Dean to both laugh at me gently and shake their heads.

"It's okay Jenn. Just get some sleep." Dean tells me, pulling the covers up to cover me fully and giving me a kiss on the top of my head, "G'night."

Sam also gives me a kiss and tucks my newly colored hair behind my ear before reaching his hand up and turning off the light. You would think it would take forever to fall asleep with everything that happened, but I hear Dean slide back into his side of the bed and I feel safe, like everything is okay. So in only five minutes I am in a sound sleep while the two Winchester brothers lie in their beds, neither of them able to close their eyes.

The next morning I wake to Winnie licking my cheeks, getting her sticky slobber all over my face. I try and swat her adorable face, but I begin to giggle and realize that I'm not going back to sleep. So I lift my head off of my pillow and stretch out my body, cringing at a pain in my thigh. Wanting to inspect the throbbing I push back the covers and slide my legs over the side of the bed, but at the first ounce of pressure I let out a sharp gasp.

"Ahhh─"

"Jenn?" Sam and Dean are almost immediately awake.

"What is it?" Dean asks as he comes around the bed.

"It's fine─" I try and smile as the pain leaves my body, "I think I cut my leg or something."

Sam gives Dean a nod and lifts me up off of the bed, letting me wrap my arms around his neck with all my weight on him. My head falls right around his chest but as Dean's fingers gently graze the wound on my right leg I pull so tight on Sam that my head is resting on his shoulder as I whimper.

"It's okay." Sam soothes, running his hand across my back as he holds on tight.

Dean must give Sam and look because I can feel Sam nod before speaking, "We're gonna have to clean it out Jenn."

"It's gonna hurt, isn't it?"

"To put it nicely." Dean tells me as Sam lowers me back onto the bed so I am sitting next to him, "You have a stab wound on your leg, and now your pants are stuck to it."

"How bad is it gonna hurt?"

"Well I'm gonna have to take off your leggings, which hopefully won't hurt if I soak where the wound is, but there's a lot of dried blood Jenn."

"So you are gonna have to rip off my scabbed over stab wound?"

I look up at Dean fearfully before turning to Sammy, giving my best puppy dog eyes. Sam knows that their little make shift medical procedures are my enemy. Since beginning hunting I have become a little more accepting, but they are still something I dread with every fiber of my being. But no matter how much I stick out my bottom lip I can't change the outcome of this ass-tastic situation.

"Just give me some whiskey first."

Sam doesn't like this idea too much, but he nods his head anyway before walking over to the cabinets and grabbing the bottle. He unscrews the cap and places the whiskey in my hands. My eyes take in the bottle before closing my eyes and taking a large gulp. I am about to remove the bottle's rim from my pale lips, but thinking of the pain about to come makes me swallow another gulp.

"Woah. Easy tiger." Dean says, taking the drink from my greedy hands and giving it to Sam, "Ready?"

Dean finishes taping on the dressing as I steady my breathing. Damn that hurt like a bitch! And Sam only let me have two more gulps of the whiskey after Dean started, defiantly not enough to numb the pain. So all I could do was bite the dirty hotel pillow to keep myself from screaming out as my skin was ripped off and the large and open stab wound was cleaned out with alcohol.

"I'm all done sweetheart." Dean says, letting me know that he feels bad with his term of affection.

I nod, slowly relaxing my jaw and releasing my mouthful of pillow to look up at Sam, "I'm gonna kill that bitch."

I don't even have to tell Sam who I am talking about and he just laughs, nodding his head and rubbing my hand that is lying in his.

"Well we'll get you better first. Then we'll worry about Meg."

I think of just falling asleep, but my chilly legs quickly remind me that all I have on right now is a wife beater and black boy shorts. So I turn over slightly and hold my arms up to Sam, "Help please."

He grasps me by the arms and pulls me up, helping me stand as I can only apply a small amount of pressure to my left leg, "What do you need?"

"Well besides taking a piss I wouldn't mind getting some pants."

Dean just laughs as Sam has to restrain himself from correcting my language; I think I have a pretty damn good excuse for a potty mouth.

"Just get me to the bathroom and I can do the rest Sammy."

Once I have relieved my bladder for the first time in a while I slide myself into a pair of pink and white boxer shorts. After I finish I stand myself up and limp to the door, close to a one legged jump, but once I get the door open I immediately have both brothers by my side to try and help me.

"I'm fine guys."

But Dean loops his arm around my back and brings me to the bed, lowering me down carefully so I can sit with my back against the motel wall.

"So I guess this will give you guys another excuse to not let me hunt for at least another month."

My tone is attempting to be sarcastic, but Sam and Dean both know that it isn't much of a joke and there faces show a small amount of concern.

"Jenn, you know that you can't hunt with an injury." Sam tells me, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, well lately it seems that I can't hunt without an injury either."

"Jenn we're trying to protect you." Dean defends.

I take in a deep and soothing breath, trying to get out all of my bad energy. Maybe Meg did mess with my head a bit, even as much as I feel that I do have a point in my argument I really don't want to fight.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm just─ a little stressed."

"It's okay Jenn." Sam says, placing a gentle hand on my leg, "Why don't you just get some more rest? We'll get everything packed up."

"Thanks Sammy." I say, scooting down so my head hits the pillow. Sammy pulls a blanket up to cover me before he and Dean start packing up all of our belongings, which really only takes about ten minutes, and by the time they are done I am half asleep, only able to mumble when they try and wake me.

"Just grab the bags and the dog Dean, I got her."

I feel my thin body being picked up and let out a small gasp as Sam's arm grazes my wound, "Ah─"

"Crap, sorry Jenn."

I am so tired that once the pain leaves my body I just rest my head on Sam's shoulder, eyes closed and my arms wrapped around his neck. By the time he places me down in the backseat of the impala and Winnie curls up in my lap I am already asleep, making up for the many hours that I missed.


	39. Hallelujah

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait guys. I had a family emergency with my grandma who lives with me and my family. She has been stable enough for a while so I have been able to write. But if it takes a while for the next chapter I am truly sorry. I hate keeping you guys waiting. But I promise I had no control in this situation. This chapter is a little short but I'll try to make the next chapter longer to make up for it. **

**

* * *

**

**Hallelujah**

The warm drops of liquid and soap cascade down my back as I rinse the shampoo from my newly honey blonde hair and massage my scalp with light fingers. I wince a bit as the suds wash over the wound on the back of my leg. The leg doesn't hurt to walk on as bad as it did before, but it is still open and painful when tampered with, especially by stingy soap.

Once I wash off my face with some cold water I step out of the shower, wrapping a large towel around my petite shivering form. I walk daintily out of my bathroom and into my bedroom, turning on some classic rock and getting ready to change into my school clothes.

I get my underwear and bra on before picking a nice pair of faded Jean Capri's, but I keep looking over my shirts and wondering weather I should wear a tank top on account of the extreme heat. It is unnaturally hot for a May day, but I am so not complaining. I decide on a Ramones tank that I layer with a blue wife beater underneath.

After I blow dry my hair and do my makeup to my liking I grab my purse and books from my desk and head down the hall to tell Sam I'm leaving for school. But I don't find him in his bed so I make my way downstairs, finding the oldest Winchester in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal at the counter.

"Hey Deano. What are you doing up so early?"

"Well some brat woke me up with her music this morning."

"But I played Metallica just for you!" I smile, grabbing a bowl and making my own cereal.

"Well excuse me for not showering you with thanks." He bites sarcastically, "How the hell did Sam sleep through that anyway?"

"What are you taking about? Sam's not in his room. I thought he was down here."

"No." Dean says, "He must have run out to get something, probably books. That geekboy loves his books."

"Nice." I hear a horn beep from outside and just roll my eyes in response to Dean's humor, placing my bowl in the sink and grabbing all my things off of the counter, "That's Charlie. I've gotta run. Oh and I need a ride home because I have to stay after for Bio."

"I'm on it."

"Thanks Dean! Bye!"

* * *

As I sit in 4th period. I try to remember exactly why health is a necessity. I know not to smoke and if I wanted to be told sex before marriage was bad a million times I would just talk to Dean, although my reasons for not listening to Dean would have more to do with his hypocrisy on the subject.

"Jenny." I hear and realize I haven't been paying attention.

I look up to find my teacher with the class phone in her hand, "Yes?"

"You are getting dismissed. You're brother is here to pick you up."

What? Why the hell are they pulling me out of class? Immediately I know that this in no way can be good, mostly because Sam would never let me get pulled out of class for a silly reason.

I gather my book and folder quickly and bring them with me, too worried to stop at my locker and drop them off. Once I get to the office I find Dean, pacing back and forth with his eyes to the ground.

"Dean, what's going on?"

He looks up with so much visibly running through in his mind. But knowing that he can't answer me in front of the school secretaries he just gives them a look, "Is she free to go now?"

"Yep. You're all set."

Dean doesn't even offer the older woman a glance in return before grabbing my arm lightly but forcefully and leading me out of the school. I begrudgingly oblige while we walk through the halls, but once we get outside I rip my hand from Dean's grasp as I walk fast to keep up with his speedy, non-stopping pace.

"Dean! What the hell is going on? Is everything okay?

"Something's wrong with Sam." Dean says, surprisingly calm but it is clear that it is forced stillness, "He never came home and he isn't picking up his phone."

Fear washes over me, but I am determined to dispose of it as I chase after him, "Well maybe his cell battery died."

Sam can't be gone. He is all I have. After my parents died, Sam and Jessica stood up to the role of parents. And since Jess died he is all I have in my life as a parent, which might seem silly considering he is only a few years older than myself. But I don't know what I'd do if I lost him, because no matter what anyone says he is a role model to me. So I tighten my face as I feel salty tears build up.

The next thing I know Dean whips around, a look of rage in his eyes as he speaks with the same calm but deathly tone, "Sam would call. He knows to call."

All these emotions come on at once, fear, anger, panic, horror, and sadness. All I can do is nod my head solemnly and walk to the car, opening the door and sitting on the black leather seats before I can find my voice and look over to Dean as he gets behind the wheel.

"He's gonna be okay though─ We'll find him, right?"

Dean looks over at my innocent face as I desperately try to hold in all of my tears. He lets his composure soften before nodding his head, "Yeah Jenn, we'll find him."

We ride in silence for hours, stopping at every hunter's house on our way to god knows where, asking around for any sight of Sam. Dean calls Bobby, but he says that he hasn't talked to Sam since he called for help on a hunt a few weeks ago. As Dean finishes another phone call that leads to a dead end I have to bite my lip to keep myself from crying more than the few tears that have already graced my cheeks, placing a hand on my anxiously bouncing knee. Quickly I take one of my shaky hands and put on the radio, turning it on to a random station to dilute the silence.

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Carefully my chapped lips part and I begin to sing the song quietly through my tears. My deep uneven breaths between the lines make it fairly obvious that I'm crying, but Dean doesn't stop me as he listens to my broken song.

_"Your faith was strong but you needed proof_  
_You saw her bathing on the roof_  
_Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you_  
_She tied you to a kitchen chair_  
_She broke your throne, she cut your hair_  
_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah"_

My tears become more evident in my soft voice as I think of Sam, I can't loose him. With everything that has been happening to me he has kept me going. I don't know if I can do any of this without him, he has been my family for only three years, and he and Dean are the only family my broken soul has got left.

_"Maybe I've been here before_  
_I know this room, I've walked this floor_  
_I used to live alone before I knew you_  
_I've seen your flag on the marble arch_  
_love is not a victory march─"_

Finally my voice begins to give out, wavering as tears stream down my soft pink cheeks. But I just keep singing as the song goes on, trying to ignore the cries coming from my own throat while Dean looks on sadly.

"_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah─"_

But I can't ignore them and my body starts to tremble with sobs as I break. I try to start the next line of the song, but it can't make its way out as I cry. I try to hide my face against the glass window as a gentle hand touches mine and it makes me cry a bit harder at his small gesture. After another helpless cry Dean gets a hold on my arm and gives it a gentle tug, pulling me into his side as I rest my head on his chest and I shake my head as I wipe at the tears.

He just keeps his arm around me as I cry, occasionally giving my arm a small rub as I sob my way to sleep in his arms.

* * *

I wake up as the car goes full speed, jolting me and making my head smack into the dashboard.

"Ah shit!" I scream, grabbing my bleeding nose.

"Crap Jenn! I'm so sorry!"

As I sit back up Dean hands me some napkins from inside the glove box and helps me hold them to my nose, keeping one eye on the road.

"What the fuck Dean?"

"Sam called." He tells me, knowing that it will make me forgive the super speed driving in a second.

"What? Where is he? Is he okay?"

"I don't know. We didn't talk long. He just told me what motel he's at."

"Well how far away are we?" I ask, sitting at the edge of my seat as I press nervously for information.

"A couple hours. I'll get us there as fast as I can." Dean tells me, pressing down harder on the gas petal and causing the Impala to gain speed.

To Dean's satisfaction he gets us there in under and hour and a half, pulling into the motel and parking right by the door. We both exit quickly, running in and I follow Dean as he makes it to the room number that Sam gave him. He gives it a knock, but when no one answers he sticks his head in, finding Sam sitting on one of the motel beds with a dazed look in his eyes.

"Sammy!" Dean yells, running into the room to his little brother with me chasing his tail.

But once I get close enough to give him a hug or slap him (I haven't decided which one I feel like doing the most) I see a large bloodstain on his shirt. The blood is a slightly brownish red color so I assume that it is dry and not fresh, but I still find it alarming as I stand back.

"What happened?"

It takes Dean a second to see what I'm talking about, but once he does he immediately grabs at Sam's shirt, inspecting it madly to see where the blood came from. But he can't so he looks up at his younger brother with worry in his eyes.

"I don't think it's my blood." Sam says, tears prickling on the corners of his eyes.

Dean and I share a look, and there is only one simple way to describe it, scared. Demandingly, Dean turns back to Sam, "Then whose is it?"

Sam shakes his head, "I don't know. You guys, I don't remember anything."

Crap.

* * *

Please R/R.


	40. Better Than Revenge

**Better Than Revenge**

"No! No! **NO!**"

I scream, kicking a chair over as I finally find myself alone. Sam cannot be a killer! That tape─ it had to be fake. And what makes me the most upset it that Sam seems to have accepted it. He thinks that he really did kill that hunter. Once we got back to the motel I got so mad that Dean made me leave, so here I am, standing out on the motel patio, kicking over plastic chairs and screaming my head off.

Once I finally compose myself I walk back into the building, taking deep breaths as I find our door. I don't think twice about opening it, but once I do I wish I hadn't. Dean is laid sprawled out on the floor, knocked out, while Sam stands above him with a nasty smirk on his face.

"_Oh my god."_

His head immediately whips around with a smile that is far to evil and conniving to be Sam's. He slowly walks forward towards me with that smile, making my skin crawl as I back up towards the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"I just want to give you a hug Jenny; you're my family after all."

"You're not Sam." I bite out, my back finally hitting the wall.

"Well," He says with a tilt of the head, "Aren't you a smart little bitch? I wish I could stay and catch up, but I've got some hunters to slaughter."

Without a second thought Sam raises his hand, gun in hand. Before he can lower it I try and run toward the door, but I don't get more than two feet away he grabs me by the arm, spinning me around and kicking my feet out from under me which lands me flat on my back.

"Not so fast there Jenny." He says, kneeling down, grabbing me by the sweater and pulling me up so I can see his smug face, "You wanted some revenge? Well I'd say you lost this battle, but maybe next time bitch."

And then it hits me like a ton of bricks and a look of rage comes across my face.

"Meg."

"And circle gets the square." The skank says with a smirk, "Now as fun as this reunion has been, I have got some plans with your bro Sammy here. Nighty nite."

And with one swift blow all I see is black.

* * *

I wake up with a throbbing pain in my head, rolling over on the stained rug as I grasp my forehead and wince. I remember what happened before everything went black and give a large huff before placing a strong hand on the old shag rug and pushing myself up into a standing position.

My eyes meet Dean's limp form and I go to his side, kneeling down and using a lot of the strength that I have left rolling him over onto his back. With my hand flat I slap Dean's face lightly while leaning over his lifeless body.

"Wake up Dean. Come on."

I try and stay calm as my patience runs thin, wanting to get after Meg and save Sam as fast as I can. But when Dean doesn't stir I begin to get nervous.

"Dean! Wake up!" I start to yell, pounding on his chest with strong arms.

"Ughhh…" Dean moans as he comes out of his comatose state, causing me to let out a great sigh of release.

"Come on Dean. You gotta get up."

"Sammy─" Dean moans as I try to pull him up.

"That wasn't Sam. It was Meg."

Dean gives me a questioning glance as I get him on unsteady feet, "How do you know?"

"Because she told me before she knocked me out. Now we have to go, she's planning on killing more hunters in Sam's meat suit."

It doesn't take long before Dean gets himself back to normal and grabs his things, running with me out to the car. We get into the car and I take out my phone, trying to activate the tracker on Sam's phone. After some lying to the phone company on Dean's part we find his location.

"Duluth, Minnestoa." I say confused, "Who the hell is in Duluth?"

Dean thinks it over questioningly as he gets onto the highway. It actually takes him about a minute before he thinks of who it is.

"Shit!"

"What?"

"It's Jo."

"Jo?" I ask with only a vague recollection of the name, "You mean the chick that you two did that hunt with, her mom owns the roadhouse?"

"Yeah, that's her." Dean says, gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he likes her, but I figure that this isn't the time to bust Dean's balls about what girls he has a crush on. So I just look ahead onto the long and busy road, hoping that we can get there before any severe damage is done.

A few hours later with Dean's speed driving we roll into a parking lot, knowing that it is where Jo works after a few phone calls. As soon as the car is stilled I jump out of the car with my gun drawn, and Dean exits the car right after me and somehow makes it to the bar entrance before me. The door is busted open and our guns are pointed in every direction as we look around madly, Dean still managing to attempt and protect me by trying to keep his body infront of me.

"Sam!" Dean yells, making me look to where his eyes land on Sam, standing above a tied up blonde with a knife in his hand.

_Oh no._

"Sam─" My gun lowers as I can't find the strength to hold it up anymore.

"It's not Sammy, Jenn." Dean has to remind me, making me raise my gun back up. I can tell he doesn't like it much either, but he doesn't want to let the demon get the best of him.

"Oh" Meg laughs, "But if you shoot it might as well be Sammy. You know that you can't hurt me, only big bro."

"Oh really?" Dean asks with a smirk that Meg returns happily on Sam's face.

In a sudden motion Dean whips out his flask of holy water and it splashes Meg across Sam's face, making her jumps back as she covers Sam's face protectively. As soon as she recovers from the pain she turns around, jumping out of the window and into the night.

I turn to Dean with questioning eyes as he runs to Jo, cutting her free from the ropes that bound her. As soon as she is free Dean takes off towards the window.

"He's possessed?"

Dean just turns around, his eyes lingering over Jo's form before finding me as I'm about ready to follow after him.

"Stay with Jo. I'll be back." And in an instant he jumps out of the window, leaving both Jo and I to scream after him.

"Dean!"

* * *

"Here." I say as I hand Jo a large ice pack, using my other hand to dial Dean's cell, grunting as it goes to the machine again.

"Thanks." She smiles as much as she can, wincing as the ice touches the large purple egg on her forehead.

"How are you doing?"

"Okay, just a little sore."

I nod my head as I touch the flask of holy water on the inside pocket of my jacket, "Look, I need to go find Dean. Will you be okay here?"

"I'll come with you." She says, standing up from the couch.

"No, It's okay. Just stay here."

"Listen, I know I'm not the most experienced hunter, but neither are you. We could both use the back-up."

She looks at me waiting for approval, and surprisingly I find myself agreeing with her. I may have been taught well by Sam and Dean, but I am no where near ready to face off with a demon if Meg shows her ugly face again.

"Okay. But we're gonna need more holy water."

She nods her head before taking off behind the bar. She kneels down before her head peaks back up, two large gallons of water in her hand, "Someone order holy water?"

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit impressed."

We exit through the same window that Sam and Dean did, searching throughout the docks. After ten minutes of nothing I take out my phone, once again dialing Dean's number. But to my pleasant surprise I can here his ringtone, soft a first, and Jo and I run towards the hard rock melody. My feet move so fast that my shoes slip on the wet slick wood, but luckily Jo grabs me before I go face first into the dock. I don't even wipe myself off before we both keep running, only stopping when we hear the ringtone directly below us.

"Where is that?"

"Jenny! He's down here!" Jo yells, jumping down to the lower level of the dock.

Locking down I can see his body, soaking wet and slumped over as he lies on his side. My body just freezes in fear as Jo runs to him, kneeling down and grabbing him by his stiff shoulders. _Oh Crap. Please let him be okay. _

The moment I hear him cough I finally breathe, following Jo's path and jumping to the lower dock.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asks dazed.

"I don't know. We've been looking for you." Jo tells him.

Jo lifts him up, draping his arm around her shoulder, but he drops down without the strength to hold himself up. "Urghh!"

"We got you." I say, finally catching up and grabbing onto his other side.

"Jenny? You okay?"

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. What about you? What happened?" I ask nervously, praying it isn't too serious.

"Meg shot me."

I take in a sharp inhale of breath, "We need to get you to a hospital."

"It was just a shoulder shot Jenn. I don't need to go to the hospital, I need to find Sam."

"NO! DEAN─"

"Don't worry Jenn." Jo soothes me, "I can take care of it at the bar."

I take my angry eyes away from Dean and look at the blonde questioningly, "You can do that?"

"I used to work at a bar just for hunters. It's not the first gunshot wound I've dealt with."

Thirty minutes later I am sitting on the other side of the bar as Jo digs into Dean's wound with a pair of tweezers, making him grunt and curse. I just sip from the bottle of whiskey that Dean used to numb himself, hoping it will block out the sounds of Dean's pain. I don't take too much though, knowing very well that this isn't exactly the best time to get drunk. But every flinch and breathless groan from his lips is life a small needle piercing my spine, over and over and over again.

"There, I got it." Jo exclaims, dropping the gold bullet into a shot of alcohol. The small clink of the shell hitting the bottom of the glass is like a song to my ears.

"Finally! Thank you lord." I exclaim, finally able to relax the muscle in my body that were previously on edge.

But I realize I was a little too enthusiastic when my eyes find Dean's death glare.

"Well Jenn," Dean bites at me in an extremely irritated tone, "I didn't realize this was so painful for you! Are you sure you're okay?"

"Hey!" I stop him, "Just because you got shot doesn't mean you get to be a dick! Meg hurt me too if you can recall! She stabbed me! Plus she fucked up my hair!"

Once my vent is finished I let out an exhausted breath and Dean looks at me, over his vent as well, "Truce?"

"Truce." I agree tiredly.

"Hey guys?" Jo asks, drawing our attention to her.

"Yea?"

"Well, I know that demons lie, but─ do they ever tell the truth?"

Dean obviously finds her question telling because he looks over her sad form before answering her, "Sometimes. You know, if they know that it'll mess with your head. Why?"

"Nothing."

Jo shakes her head sadly, letting me know that the demon did something really fucked up to her. Something to leave her with the same expression I had when I was in the hospital. But I don't want to pressure her in front of Dean, if she wanted him to know she would have told him.

Dean is up and grabbing his coat as soon as Jo finishes patching him up, and I turn to Jo as she begins to pick up the supplies.

"Are you okay Jo?"

She just looks up, acting flattered that I asked, but nodding her head with a fake smile none the less, "Oh yeah. I'm fine."

I don't want to argue with her so I just nod politely, "Well listen, give me a call sometime. I could use another girl hunter to talk to. We can complain to each other about how no one takes us seriously or lets us do more than look up obits."

We share a small chuckle before Dean breaks it up, "Come on Jenn. We gotta get going."

"Bye Jo." I say with a wave.

I exit first as Dean also says goodbye to Jo. As soon as I exit I run to the passenger side door of the Impala, getting myself comfortable in the seat as Dean comes out.

"So are you sure he's going to Bobby's house?" I ask, making sure that Dean's initial assumption, which he made while Jo and I carried him to the bar, is still his theory.

"Well he is the closest hunter that we know. And he's not answering his phone."

"Then let's burn some rubber."

* * *

By the time we get to Bobby's house he already has Meg tied up in a Devils trap. Man he is awesome! So for a while I just sit on the table in the corner while Bobby and Dean round up the necessary tools for the interrogation; salt, holy water, all that fun stuff. I just keep my eyes on Meg, finding it hard to be mad at the face of the person I love more than anything.

'It's not Sam. It's not Sam.' I have to remind myself over and over again as my eyes linger over his limp body, tied up in the rickety wooden chair.

Dean grabs my attention as he and Bobby approach, and I stare with wide eyes at the large tin bucket of holy water that Dean has in his hands. I open my mouth to ask what the hell he is doing, but before I can he throws the water from the bucket, soaking Sam's body and sending Meg into a fit of screams.

"Rise and shine, bitch." Dean smirks.

Meg shakes off the pain as best as she can, trying on one of her famous grins. Although I find them so much more disturbing on Sam's face.

"Well Dean. I have to say I'm surprised to see you. You really are one tough cockroach to squash."

"Don't I know it." He grins, not letting Meg get to him, which is more than I can say for myself. Just watching Sam's face filled with such wrath makes me crawl back on the table until my back hits the wall, wrapping my arms around my knees protectively and shielding my face as much as I can without blocking my sight.

"Hey Jenny." Meg smirks in my direction, probably trying to take advantage of my vulnerability, "Long time no see. I see you got rid of your makeover."

"Maybe I didn't wanna look like a whore." I mumble without looking into Sam's eyes, but I just hear Sam's voice let out a deep chuckle.

"Now that just hurts my feelings. We had some good memories Jenn. You told me all about your feelings…well I really just helped myself to your feelings."

"Leave her alone!" Dean orders, "You don't talk to her!"

"But don't you wanna know why baby sis here is so sad? I mean I know about family issues, but this was a new one. This girl clearly doesn't get enough therapy." Meg turns from her sinister self to a happy smile, imitating my voice, "Oh gee! I was raped! I tried to off myself! Why don't Sam and Dean trust me?"

"Stop it." I say, my voice quiet but forceful as I finally look into Sam's eyes, "Stop it now, please."

I look to Dean and he can't cover the anger and curiousness that he feels at Meg's comments, but his curiosity could never overthrow his protectiveness of me. So as Meg opens Sam's mouth with an evil glint in his eyes Dean walks forward and smacks her hard across the face. It takes only moments for Meg to get over it and lick the blood from the corner of Sam's mouth, enjoying the taste.

"So what is your plan here Deano? Send me back to hell?"

"Well aren't you a smart bitch."

"Go ahead then. This should be fun."

Dean grabs the exorcism book from the table I sit on and returns to standing in front of Meg. I watch as he begins reading the exorcism, praying that he finishes as fast as possible. But for some reason as the spell goes on I don't notice Meg being affected at all by the Latin Dean is reciting.

"Oops! It doesn't seem to be working."

I just look to Dean scared, as he and Bobby trade confused looks.

"Are you reading it right?"

"Yes I'm reading it right!"

Meg just erupts in laughter as we all try to figure out the problem. Finally I jump up off the table and towards Dean and Bobby who are reading over the book, looking for any imperfections.

"Dean, what is going on? Is it the book?"

"No." He shakes his head as he closes the book, "It can't be, we've used it hundreds of times."

My eyes turn to Sam's body as the laugher dies down and Meg speaks, "I've picked up a few tricks in hell. And you chuckleheads won't be sending me back there again."

All of the sudden a wind enters the room, flipping the pages of all of the exposed books as Meg begins chanting her own Latin. As the wind grows stronger and Meg begins to enter a trance, Dean steps in front of me, shielding me. I grab onto his arm and peek over it as Bobby approaches Sam's body, inspecting it without much worry which shocks me.

"Crap!" Bobby yells over the loud sounds of the wind and fluttering pages.

"What?"

Bobby lifts up Sam's sleeve and Dean walks forward, "It's a binding lock! It's locked itself inside Sam's body!"

"Well what do we do?" I scream over the sound of the wind and pages flapping. There better be a way to get this bitch out of Sam.

All of a sudden Sam's head snaps up from its trance, finding Dean first, "Hey sport!"

Meg grabs Dean and flings him across the room without breaking a sweat. She grabs for Bobby next so I use my time wisely and grab my iron knife from its sheath, running towards her as Bobby flies across the room.

I have the knife raised and am about to bring it down when I realize what I would be doing, killing Sam. Before I can think of a solution Meg whips around, grabbing my knife and trying to slice me in the stomach. I manage to jump back and grab Sam's arm, pulling it down and kneeing Sam's stomach. But Meg wipes it off before I can blink and makes an advance on me, aiming for my chest with the knife, but I turn quick enough to suffer only a slash across the arm. However it is still deep enough to send me to the floor, grasping my arm in pain. Before Meg walks away she is nice enough to use Sam's boots to kick me in the face, making blood trickle down my nose and pain radiate through my skull.

As Meg goes over to Dean all I can hear is my blood pumping in my ears and it burning through my veins. It feels like my entire face is on fire! I try to ignore my pain and lift my head up off the floor, turning to see Sam's body hovered over Dean as Meg punches him so bad that his mouth is covered in blood.

"Shit!" I grimace as I push my forehead to the floor, trying to come up with the strength to lift myself up.

I push myself to get up so hard that tears flood my cheeks, but I can't get myself more than a few inches off the ground. Then I hear a familiar shriek, and I look up to see the smoke leaving Sam's mouth as Bobby stands over him, fire poker in hand from burning a mark on Sam's skin.

Sam drops next to Dean and Bobby runs towards me, probably thinking I'm in worse shape than Sam or Dean. But as my brain begins to stop shaking I actually find that I can sit up, leaning my back against the wall.

"What happened?" Sam asks, looking around in confusion.

And with one swift motion Dean punches him, making me wince as Sam hugs his cheek in pain and looks at his brother with wide eyes.

* * *

An hour later Sam, Dean, and I sit around Bobby's desk as we finish patching ourselves up. Dean stitched up my arm, but I am still bleeding slightly from my nose so I have to keep pressure on it constantly.

"So she is gone for good?" I ask, sitting on Sam's lap as I can feel the blood leaking through the gauze.

"Until she claws herself out of the pit." Dean confirms.

The hairs on my back rise, "So she could come back?"

"Hey it's okay." Sam soothes, "You don't have to worry about it."

Disconsolately I nod my head, slowing my heart rate and laying my head on Sam's shoulder as I relax into his embrace.

"Here, take these." Bobby says, walking into the room and handing us all amulets, "These will stop the demon from getting back up in you."

"Kinky." Dean murmurs and I chuckle, placing the charm around my neck.

"Hey Jenn." Sam says, removing the bloody gauze from my hand and giving me a new piece for my nose as he runs his hand over the back of my head, "Why don't you go fill up the thermos with coffee before we hit the road?"

"Oh" I smirk, standing up from my seat by Bobby's desk, "Is this the part where I leave so you three can have the adult conversation that you're afraid will scare me?"

"Jenn…"

"Okay, Okay." I hold my arms up in defeat, "I'm going. But I just want to make it clear that I _am _mature enough to hear whatever it is you're about to say. Especially since I saw her use you to kill someone and I was stabbed by the evil bitch _twice_."

And with that I leave the room calmly and with a smile, letting the men talk. I'm not really that pissed that I am being excluded from the conversation, I am used to it by now. I just can't wait until they realize that I can handle what is going on and that I am more than ready to help.

I do what I am told and fill up our thermos with Bobby's extra strong black coffee. I think of taking a sip, but the idea of spending the ride back asleep is much more appealing to me so I just screw the top back on and walk back to the living room, pretending to cover my ears.

"Is it safe to enter?"

"Shut up brat and get in here." Dean says, placing our first aid kit back together. It is obvious that they didn't finish their conversation, but I come in anyways.

I just remove my hands from around my ears and walk to Bobby, giving him a quick hug, "Thanks for everything Bobby. I'll see you around."

"Bye Jennifer. Keep safe."

I grab my gray pea coat and head towards the door, waiting by the car as Sam and Dean each say there goodbyes to Bobby. After a couple minutes I jump up onto the hood of the car, lying down with my head on the window. I feel so peaceful as the wind tickles my face and runs through my wavy hair, lulling me to sleep as I find surprise comfort on the flat metal.

"Hey Sam, I think there is a homeless person sleeping on the Impala."

"Haha." I mumble, sitting up and rubbing the tiredness from my eyes, "Are we going home yet?"

"Yea, Junebug. We're leaving now."

Sam takes my hands to help me down from the car, but I just stare in his eyes shocked. I swear he just said what I thought he said. He called me by the name my family coined me, the name Jessica called me, until I turned fourteen and refused to be called such a 'baby name', of course.

"Junebug?"

Realization comes over his face and he laughs, "Sorry Jenn, it slipped."

"No." I shake my head with a smile, "I like it."

I can see a look of delight grow across his face, but I am honestly too tired to have a chick flick moment, as Dean would say.

"Come on. Let's get home."

I jump off the Impala and get into the back seat, relaxing into the leather seats as Dean starts the car and Sam get in the passenger seat. Dean's Led Zeppelin cassette blasts through the speakers, but I feel like something different.

"Can you put on Journey, Dean?"

He looks back with a smirk, "Sure thing kiddo."

**A/N: Again sorry about the wait. Family stuff. Plus major writers block with this story. I think it's cus I'm in the very early stages of mapping out the ending and as Chuck says, "Endings are hard." lol.**

**R/R is love. **


	41. Total Eclipse of the Heart

**A/N: I know it's been a crazy wait. But my computer got a virus and it wouldn't let me upload new chapters or do a bunch of other things, like downloading new songs on my computer, which also sucked majorly. However I recently realized that if I got a zip drive I could take the chapters from my computer and load them on my mother's new laptop. So that is what I am doing now. It is hard to write on a computer that is not your own, but I am hoping I will have enough money to buy a new laptop at the end of the summer after my summer job. Fingers crossed.**

* * *

**Total Eclipse of the Heart**

"Didn't we just get back from a hunt?" I ask Sam and Dean as they stand over me from my spot on the couch, school books littered all across my lap.

It seems like since our little run in with Meg we have been hunting non stop, which has been making it very hard for me to get ready for my finals. We've killed a spirit here, a vampire there. And now apparently there is a poltergeist with our name on it. However I have one small problem.

"My finals start tomorrow guys, I can't miss school. Not unless I want to do my sophomore year twice, and believe me I don't. So you boys will have to go on this one without me."

"Well we may be gone for a few days. You'll be okay by yourself?" Sam checks.

"Of course. But can you leave some extra emergency money? Just incase Char and I decide to go to the beach or something after school gets out."

"Sure." Sam allows, "But I don't want you guys getting a motel somewhere. A day trip is fine, but that's it."

"Yes sir." I mutter sarcastically, earning a roll of the eyes from Sam.

"We're leaving tonight. And we left the new cell phone numbers on the fridge. Jenn?" Dean checks, noticing that I'm paying more attention to my history notes than to him.

"Numbers on fridge, I got it."

* * *

I continue my rapid studying as they pack their bags, making it out of the house by sundown with a good ten minute goodbye. And as soon as the Impala speeds off down the driveway I find my head placed right back into a Biology book, studying until I fall asleep on the couch in a surprisingly comfortable position.

I spend the next three days like a robot. My days consist of sleep, studying, and finals. Sometimes I eat if I have enough time, but usually only something that I can nibble on with one hand as I keep my eyes on my books. By the time I get home on my last day I am a mix of pure exhaustion and exhilaration. I am long over due for some sleep, but how can I not want to dance around at the idea of no more school for three months?

"So I'm having a pool party at my house if you want to come." Char tells me as we settle down on the couch.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I want to come?"

"Well you know…" Charlie looks away, "You haven't been to a party since─ you know. I just don't want to pressure you if you think that you're not ready."

"Hey." I try and cheer Charlie up, grasping her hand in mine, "This was the last day of school, and there is nothing I'd rather do than celebrate with my best friend."

"You sure?" She checks protectively, making me giggle.

"Positive. Now let's go buy some cute bikinis for tonight. Sam left me some extra emergency money."

Charlie and I shop around the local mall for hours, finding some cute summer clothes and a bit of makeup. By the time we get to her house it is only an hour before people are going to arrive, so we immediately go upstairs and change into our new suits.

"What do you think?"

I spin around in my new suit, a white bikini top and teal blue bottoms. The part of the suit that I love the most is the teal and white braiding on the straps.

"So cute."

Charlie and I don't take long before going down to her pool, if you can even call it a pool. It has a waterfall, slide, in pool bar, a fountain shooting out water in the middle, and amazing stone work. I swear her mom has to do something illegal for a living!

People start to arrive and I hangout with Charlie and some friends from our Bio class by the bar. I have only two piña coladas, sticking to mostly diet cokes while the people around me down beers like it's their job. It's not that I don't want to drink, because I honestly would love to sit back and get a good buzz going on, but after what I did at the last party, the idea terrifies me.

We sit around and chat for a while longer and then almost the entire party has a very intense round of chicken fights in the water. I get paired up with Lucas who happens to be on the wrestling team. But there is no way I am letting him get on my shoulders so he coaches from underneath as I take down the competition. After a few rounds and an accidental elbow to Luke's face we decide to take a break, and I spend the rest of the night talking to Lucas as we sit by the pool's artificial waterfall.

"Can I give you my number?" He asks as he gets ready to leave, being one of the only people still left.

Surprisingly I pause at the question. It really shouldn't be that difficult, he's cute and nice and totally into me.

"I─ I don't think that's a good idea."

"What? I─I thought we were having a good time."

"We were─ we are. I just …" I break off, hating this part of any conversation with a boy, "I'm not quite ready to be with someone quite yet." I look down, my honey blonde locks hanging in front of my face as a sit before one of the cutest boys I've ever met, "I'm sorry."

But to my surprise he gives me an answer that doesn't fit into the usual stereotype of teenage boys.

"Well do you think you're ready to be friends yet?"

"Really?" My head snaps up.

"Really. You're amazing, and I'd kill myself if I gave up the chance to get to know you better."

A smile comes across my rosy pink lips as I stand up and run to grab a pen, coming back to my spot and grabbing Lucas's hand and writing down my seven numbers on his palm, "There you go. Give me a call sometime."

And with that I leave, giving him a soft and very quick kiss on the cheek. After everyone leaves Charlie and I watch some of our favorite movies on her big screen and eat popcorn until we fall asleep.

By the time I get back in to the house the next day I am in my bathing suit top and jean shorts, having gone swimming again this morning. The Impala is already parked in the driveway. A smile comes to my face and I pick up my steps, pushing the front door open and throwing my backpack to the ground.

"Hello?" I call into the quite house with a chipper voice, "How was the hunt?" I ask turning the corner into the living room.

But instead of Sam and Dean walking towards me with open arms they are just sitting on the couch, Sam's head hung low while Dean sits across from him. I stand there inspecting the situation for a few moments before Dean finally removes his sympathetic eyes from Sam and looks to me uneasily. But Sam still keeps his eyes on the coffee table, and I can swear for a moment that he has tears in his eyes.

"Did someone die?"

"We should talk outside Jenn." Dean tells me, standing up and beginning to walk over.

"No. No. I want you to tell me now. What? Is it Bobby?"

Dean immediately shakes his head and is about to correct me before Sam speaks, keeping his eyes away from mine.

"Madison…Her name was Madison."

"Who─ What?" I ask with my eyes to both of the boys, waiting for someone to give me an actual answer, one that I'm only guessing I won't like.

"We were hunting a werewolf Jenn." Dean explains, walking closer so he can talk quietly, "Well we were trying to protect a girl we thought it was going after."

"Madison?" I ask and earn a nod, "So what, you couldn't save her?"

Dean gave a careful glance back to his brother before telling me, "She already got bit. In the daytime she was fine, but at night─ she just couldn't control herself. So we had to─"

As the picture in my head comes together my mouth forms a small 'O' letting Dean know that he didn't need to continue.

"Yea." Dean says, going back over to Sam and clapping a hand gently on his back.

But as tears trickle down his cheeks and his face is in a painful grimace, I can't help but wonder why he is breaking apart while Dean is fine. Sure, Sam is the more sensitive brother, but he's been doing this job since he was in middle school.

So I make my way over to Sam, sitting down across from him on the coffee table. He gives me a glance quickly, but his body remains frozen. So I do what he has done for me many times before. I place my hands on his shoulders, giving them a reassuring rub and then I snake my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me.

"It's okay Sammy." I whisper as he finally begins to place his arms around my back, but they are statue like, no emotion behind his side of the hug. "What's going on Sam? You've been doing this since you were eleven. What's up?"

I try and look into his eyes as I pull back, but he won't even turn his eyes in my direction. But his chapped lips part, just releasing air at first, but the he speaks, "She was special─ She was…different."

"Different─ Wha─?"

I look up at Dean, and he just gives me a look. It's almost like he's saying, 'Put the pieces together kid.' And I do. My head looks between Sam and Dean as the realization of what happened begins to fully makes sense to me, and I can see Dean get nervous while Sam still remains unresponsive.

"You─" I ask with hurt eyes to Sam, "You hooked up with her?"

Sam just bites his lip, knowing my tone isn't a happy one.

"You were there for a week and you managed to fall in love?"

Dean steps in, probably thinking I'm being a little over dramatic as my voice wavers, "Jenn─"

"No!" I tell him strongly, standing up from the coffee table and turning to leave.

"Jenny!" The fact that it is Sam's voice calling me makes me stop and turn around, my cheeks red as tears coat my eyes.

"Don't." I warn him with a deathly voice, "I'm glad that Jessica meant so much to you that you were able to jump into bed with some girl after knowing her for a couple days!"

Sam begins to let his tears fall himself. But they just make me even more upset because I know these tears aren't for me or Jess. These tears are for Madison. I can't even explain the burning of the anger in my stomach.

"Jenny, Please─"

"NO! I HATE YOU!" I scream, making the two brothers tense up, "I just─ I hate you so much."

Sam shakes his head, "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do!" I bite out. "I hate you!"

"Stop it!" Sam stands up, "I loved Jess, I will always love her. You know that."

"You're a liar!" I cry angrily, barely able to say anymore as sobs wrack my body.

"Jenny stop it!" Sam screams, taking a few steps forward and placing his hands roughly on my shoulders, "You need to calm down! Now!"

"No! I hate you! Let go of me! I hate you!"

My hands slam down strongly on his chest. But no matter how much I push and shove he won't let go of me. So I do the first thing that comes to my head. I pull my hand back in a strong fist and slam it right into Sam's cheek. I watch as my fist punches right into his left cheek, not even feeling the pain in my own knuckles.

Sam folds over and grasps his face, letting me out of his hold. But I can't move, I just stare at him in disbelief. Dean finally decides its time to intervene and comes over, giving me a small shove so he can get in front of Sam and try to inspect the damage.

"What the hell Jennifer?"

My mouth opens, trying to find words. But finally I do what I was trying to do in the first place, run. I run right out the front door, grabbing my backpack before closing the door behind me.

By the time I reach the two mile point my tears have stopped, but I am still left with the pure rage I felt. How could he do that to Jess? To me? I thought he cared more about us than that. Apparently not.

I think of where I could go. Part of me is thinking I should go to Charlie's house. But that would be the first place Sam and Dean would look. An hour later I am walking down one of more abandoned roads in our town. I kick the dirt beneath my feet as I look out into the field. The peace and quite makes me happy for a moment, but then I hear a familiar sound and the feeling is gone.

I turn around and watch as the impala comes to a stop on the side of the road in front of me. Dean is behind the wheel, with one of the angriest looks I've ever seen on his face. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are deathly piercing. But I try to not act intimidated as he opens the door and steps out.

"Jennifer Elizabeth Moore!" He yells.

Holy shit. He used my actual last name. This isn't going to be good.

"Get your ass in this car now!"

I watch as he keeps his hands on the car door, illustrating that he isn't planning on moving. But I can't just listen. I'm too mad.

"Screw you! I'm not going back to that fucking house ever again! I hate you!"

"If you say that one more time I swear you won't be able to sit for a week!"

Threatening physical violence, that's a new one too. But every time he yells at me it just makes me even more encouraged to stand my ground.

"What? Are you gonna hit me?" I scream with the small glint of a smile, "You're not my father, you're not my brother, you can't touch me!"

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure." He informs me, "Now get in this car now, I'm not going to tell you again."

"Thank god. Cus' I'm getting sick of hearing it!"

And with that I turn around, walking with strong steps away from Dean and the impala. I was hoping to feel accomplished, but I still feel sick to my stomach. So I turn back around, hoping to shed off some more anger.

"And tell your brother I never want to see him again! And I hope that he can find another stupid skank and they can be very happy together! That should take him what─ two weeks?"

And with that Dean stands back, slamming the car door before coming towards me, a deathly look in his eyes. And as much as I want to stand my ground I can't help the small step back I take as he gets in my face, his jaw clenched and rage in his eyes.

"You listen to me real close Jennifer. Since Sam met you he has done nothing but sacrifice for you, and in my book that deserves some respect. So either you get your ass in that car and come home to apologize to him, or so help me god I will throw you in that car."

It takes me a moment to find my words, honestly shocked at the stony and rough tone Dean is speaking towards me with. But eventually I find them as the anger and stubbornness bubbles up inside me while tears begin to leak from my eyes.

"Home? I have no fucking _home_!" I scream as I grasp my head like I am going mad while looking around through my water filled eyes before finally finding Dean's eyes as a bitter laugh escapes my lips. "My home burned down months ago! Now all I have is a bunch of lies!"

I turn before the sobs have their chance to take over, which they happily do as I continue walking away from Dean and the Impala. But I can barely breathe as my chest pounds rapidly. I think of where I'll go as I make my way against from some of the only family I've known lately, but before I settle on a place I hear him calling me.

"Hey!"

After giving out a painful sigh I wipe away my tears and turns towards him and he begins to speak once again with just as much anger as before, but something tells me there is a bit of sympathy hidden behind his eyes.

"I know how you're feeling. And I'm sorry for what happened to Jess, you know I am! But you have no right to treat Sam like you did. Not only is he your family, but he is your superior. And you treat him with respect, do you understand me?"

Dean's calm but rash tone makes me react the same way. As much as I want to run in the other direction I realize quickly that the Winchesters are all I have, the only people that I can call family. So with a strong pout and red cheeks, I fold my arms across my chest and stomp towards Dean. Hopefully I am making clear that I am doing this against my own will.

Dean holds his door open for me to slide across but I decide to use the passenger door, just to send a message that I don't forgive Sam, I just know I can't leave my family. But he takes it and also gets in his seat and closes the door, and even though he isn't happy there is a look of acceptance on his face.

We drive back to the house and complete silence fills the leather interiorized car. I rest my forehead against the windshield and wipe away the tears as they come while Dean drives straight ahead, never changing his stern expression. We reach the house in no time and I get out of the car and slam the door behind me as I head inside.

Dean follows behind me as I enter the hallway, seeing Sam as I turn my head towards the kitchen. He has an icepack resting on his cheek and looks up as he hears Dean shut the door. I can see him looking towards me, expecting me to say something, anything. But I can't think of anything that wouldn't make him any less hurt. So I just bite my lip and turn towards the stairs, taking my quick journey from them and to my room.

As soon as I get to my room I collapse on my bed, finally able to let go. I sob and sob until my stomach starts to get sore from the motion. Even then the cries continue in small motions.

I always knew this day would come. I knew Sam would eventually find a girl that would realize he was worth all the trouble his job brings. But for so long I hoped and prayed it wouldn't happen. Because I feel like the only real connection me and Sam have is Jess. And when he starts to forget about her I can almost feel the connection breaking. I can feel us moving apart. And I know that if he begins to love someone new then the remembrance of his love for Jess will begin to fade away. And then soon after the remembrance fades our connection will fade away as well. And I honestly don't know what I would do if that happened. He and Dean are all I have. If I lost them I would lose myself. And my life is so shaky right now I need all the stability I can get.

I know that nothing in life is certain. But after I change into my PJ's and kneel beside my bed for the first time in months I pray that Sam will never forget all the love he held for Jess. Because I don't ever want him or Dean to forget the love they hold for me.


	42. Story Video

I just have to start by saying that I'm so sorry it's been so long. I hate when chapters update with authors notes but I felt like I owed it to you. First of all I really wanna update soon, but I've had trouble finding the inspiration and my comp is shit and the b key is broken so everytime I wanna press b I have to hold it down for like 10 secs. So it's hard to get motivated. And last time that happened I made a vid. So I decided to again this time and I wanted to share it with you. I guess it's kinda like a trailer to this story, but not neccesarily. Not evrything that happens in the vid happens in the story. But it mostly just captures the character of Jenny and her relationship with the boys. I worked hard to get clips to match up and I hope you like it.

The link is in my profile :)

I already have an idea for the next chapter, but it's the getting it from brain to paper that is the problem.

So any feedback is helpful xx


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